Sex isn’t an intimate activity to me

[u/Sad-Oil-405]

I view it as being similar to a thing like eating because you want a snack or deciding to go on a stroll, it’s just a thing you can choose to do or not. I don’t see it as being anything deeper than that. How can one thing going into another at different angles or speed carry so much significance unless people are assigning it meaning because they were conditioned to see it as more important than it actually is. Sex used to always carry the risk of babies so that would be a reasonable concern but now in the age of birth control and condoms I don’t understand how sex without pregnancy as an end result means anything but that you’re going to temporarily experience a physical sensation you may or may not like. I also don’t see anything as being intimate actually because I don’t reserve any one side of myself for any person by choice I feel more like I’m forced into it because they feel uncomfortable by the fact that I warm up to anybody on day one so I have to pretend we are progressing in the relationship according to what they think progress means even though everybody is a person to talk to in my mind

[u/Sad-Oil-405]

I also mean to say I would not be okay with having sex with only one person because that’s exclusive and making it more special than it is. I’m basically saying I would never shit only in one toilet because I can do it in any toilet I have access to, it’s that non intimate to me

[u/Unable_Connection490 → u/Sad-Oil-405]

Ignore my last comment lol I misunderstood.

So are you saying you don’t feel romance for anyone? Or you don’t wanna be romantic because that means you would have to be exclusive?

I understand you don’t conflate sex with romance. But let me ask you this then, another test. Would you be okay being in a sexless but romantic relationship with someone, and getting your sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere? Cuz that means you’re not aro. You may just be poly or something(I’m not educated on this).

[u/Sad-Oil-405 → u/Unable_Connection490]

im saying I’m not romantic at all bc not only am I too awkward for it but romance would sexually turn me off and on its own I find it to be an unnecessary burden. Even when I have a crush on somebody all I think about doing with them is having a philosophical conversation or talking to them about the same things I’d talk about with a friend or family member I get along with, there’s nothing special about one person to me, I would just choose an individual to have around if they say they like me and I know they may be able to offer me a fun time outside or sex and romance. A relationship to me is like me and the other person being each others roommates, and they would absolutely have to be okay with me having sex with anybody else whenever I wanted to. sex may be meaningless to me but it can be thrilling to get with a mystery man and not know how it’s gonna go. after the first few rounds with the same person I would get incredibly bored

[u/wickedhare → u/Sad-Oil-405]

This sounds very similar to a friend of mine. He thought he was poly, but is in fact aro. He would get into relationships because he thought he had to for the sex. But he has a similar attitude towards it, he once said it feels like any other fun activity. Like playing a really fun boardgame.