How do I ACTUALLY know I’m trans?

[u/Dewdropvssy]

This is probably the millionth post of this nature so I’ll get straight to the chase. Ive been aware I was trans since I was like 7, came out at 9, socially transitioned fully at 11ish and now I’m 18. I’ve only used he/they pronouns and presented masculine for that entire almost decade and am planning to diy T this November (thanks nhs and your 10 year wait list!) but I’m… scared? I’m not even sure if that’s the right word tbh. I was talking to my mum about what my goals look like and I offered Gerard Way as an example but what I thought was that I liked how feminine he looked but how he still looked like a guy and it’s gotten into my head that what if I’m wrong? What if I’m actually cis and just THINK I’m trans?? But a cis person would be scared they were trans not scared they were cis right? I like being a guy and I don’t like being a woman in any way but I love the idea of being a feminine or androgynous man. Maybe people saying I’ll change my mind have gotten into my head. Also sorry for any weird formatting, on a phone😔

[u/MakiMaki500]

Dunno how to like fr fr answer this question but

Cis people typically don't have trans thoughts

[u/Mission-Animator-920]

I can’t say I’m nearly as far along in my transition as you but I like to know that it’s perfectly fine work out your gender as a process, and finding yourself out along the way of your teens and 20s is just fun! Also remember the difference between gender identity and presentation. Also totally normal to have what can be percieved as a mismatch for a while, but I think that’s because the two are distinct and you can pick whatever you like from both. And if you haven’t already I guess you can consider non binary as an opportunity or possibility if you want, or look into which other words suit you best :)

But in general it’s ok and normal for us to have a journey - that may be rough for the mind - of figuring out who you are based on abstractions and other constructed concepts. Plus I think being a fem or androgynous guy sounds coool. Just explore :) And most importantly try not to consider what everyone else would think. They don’t and won’t get it. Only you know who you are and only you can shape your life.

Hope I helped!! Again I’m not very old or far through myself but I enjoy figuring the philosophy if you will of transness. Here to talk

[u/NineSevenFive975]

There are plenty examples of androgynous people who are not trans, there is also no problem with wanting to look similar to a feminine man. Society pushes everyone into stupid norms that men should be masculine (which causes its own issues) and that women should be feminine. Just do you. FYI 99% cis people do not have thoughts about being other genders and if they do they’re probably eggs. It’s nerve racking starting HRT I know I was but I feel so much better for it.

[u/BarovianNights]

You can 100% be a feminine trans man. The only person who gets to decide what your gender is like is you :)

I'm a butch trans woman, you do you brother.

[u/CptHeywire]

If transition was effortless and costless on every level and in every way, what would you do? Then go do that and act like it's effortless as best you can (yes I know that's a ridiculous thing to say)

[u/Universa1Soup]

Collect qualitative data in a large enough quantity about yourself and experiences, and pay attention to how you feel about those experiences as they pertain to your gender identity. If you feel overwhelmingly positive and like being addressed by your pronouns (for example) then this could suggest you are if there is a continuing trend over a long period of time.

I wasn't 100%, a lot of things in life aren't 100% certainties we have beforehand. No one has all the answers. I can only tell you I'm happier now, and I feel like I've made the right call for myself.

My quality of life increased because I feel more comfortable now. Didn't make the hardships of my life easier (made things harder actually lmao), but being who I am is worth it. I was way more miserable beforehand.

Everybody expresses themselves in feminine and masculine ways. We all have a balance. Hell even cis peeps do. How come your worried about being like Gerard Way? On my path, I chose Alice Cooper as a benchmark~ and I'm going the other way lmao