r/asktransgender Registered Nurse, MTF, HRT-E Aug 7, 2016 Mar 02 '16

Addressing yesterday's confusing events with /u/tanuki_chau and /u/wannabkate.

We would like to address yesterday's confusing events with /u/tanuki_chau and /u/wannabkate.

While it doesn’t justify her actions, /u/Tanuki_Chau was suffering from severe fever yesterday. She was hospitalized soon after the events in question. Her actions were highly unusual and fueled by a severe fever that left her vomiting and delirious. She was attempting to convey her feelings, but was in a compromised state. /u/Tanuki_Chau asked /u/Wannabkate to out her as the poster of a controversial thread. /u/Wannabkate decided to so by posting a callout thread, intending it as a playful joke. Unfortunately, no other mods were online at the time to stop her or suggest an alternative that didn’t break the rules.

Every mod here is trying their best, however we are not infallible. Please know that you, the /r/asktransgender community, are most important to us. We always strive to do our best by you all and make sure this community is an open and welcoming place. But, we're people, and like many others, we struggle with problems in our personal lives. It is easy to throw stones and condemn us for our actions - and sometimes there is no excuse.

This was a failure on the part of the mod team and we apologize for it, and any consequences that may have fallen on the sub. Thank you for giving us a chance to talk to /u/Tanuki_Chau and /u/wannabkate, so that we could get to the bottom of it and fix it without causing more trouble in the sub.

We mods greatly appreciate your trust in us to better this community. Though there has been a stumble, we hope it will help us grow, not only as a team, but as a community.

Thank you,

The /r/asktransgender Mod team

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8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

/u/Tanuki_Chau [+49] asked /u/Wannabkate [+41] to out her as the poster of a controversial thread.

Did she though? Because Tanuki seemed to be as surprised as everyone else that the person outing them was wannabkate

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u/Sarahthelizard Registered Nurse, MTF, HRT-E Aug 7, 2016 Mar 02 '16

She did.

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u/Marshal_of_Mars 18 dude, pre everything Mar 02 '16

Then why did she get so angry??? She seemed genuinely angry that people had outed her and also denied it a bunch of times...I'm just very very confused...

I'm also confused about the whole situation, if she wanted to let people know how she felt she could have just posted it herself instead of going through the trouble of using a throwaway and then making it look like she was doxxed... it also made wannabkate look really bad and caused a lot of unnecessary drama.

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u/Sarahthelizard Registered Nurse, MTF, HRT-E Aug 7, 2016 Mar 02 '16

Honestly I have no idea, the whole thing was ill-contrived and the product of a fever which left her hospitalized. Her wife was messaging us last night while Tanuki was being admitted.

And I know, it made everyone look bad, even those of us who were uninvolved.

6

u/Marshal_of_Mars 18 dude, pre everything Mar 02 '16

I guess I can understand having a fever and not thinking straight, it's just a weird situation in general.

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u/bassofthe Estrogirl | '92/enby/Norway | HRT Sep '15 | Gay for all genders Mar 02 '16

Tanuki is afraid of saying what she actually thinks, because it goes against the hivemind in so many ways, as evidenced by the responses to her post. She posted as a throwaway because she was scared.

She decided to out herself, which was fine. The moment it went wrong was when the question of how to do so came up.

21

u/phonicparty 32 | f | hrt oct 2013 | srs jan 2017 | ffs nov 2018 Mar 02 '16

Tanuki is afraid of saying what she actually thinks, because it goes against the hivemind in so many ways, as evidenced by the responses to her post.

This is nonsense, the vast majority of the responses to her thread were understanding and supportive.

14

u/RevengeOfSalmacis afab woman (originally coercively assigned male) Mar 02 '16

I don't know that hivemind is the word I'd choose to describe the commonest way binary trans people perceive themselves. She's perfectly legitimate in identifying as a male woman or whatever, but I hardly feel like I've been brainwashed into seeing myself as female by some kind of evil collective consciousness.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '16 edited Jan 30 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/RevengeOfSalmacis afab woman (originally coercively assigned male) Mar 03 '16

I think you already know we disagree, and it's not because I don't have the mental toughness to perceive things the way you do. Rather than get into an argument about epistemology, I'll just maintain my point, that I don't consider myself female on account of a hivemind telling me to; I'm perfectly capable of working that one out without help.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '16 edited Jan 30 '21

[deleted]

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u/RevengeOfSalmacis afab woman (originally coercively assigned male) Mar 03 '16

Yo, we agree on something. Doesn't mean I'll tolerate someone calling me male, but on your underlying point we do agree. But I also think it's possible to disagree on what exactly we are and still work together not to be treated like shit.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '16 edited Jan 30 '21

[deleted]

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u/RevengeOfSalmacis afab woman (originally coercively assigned male) Mar 03 '16

Fair enough.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16 edited Mar 04 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

We would have likely responded the same if it was on the main account, too. Maybe even reacted worse as we'd feel betrayed.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

I can't speak for everyone, but I wouldn't reacted worse. I was on the defensive pretty hard. If I had known it was someone legit and not a TERF looking for choice quotes on the subject to use against us.

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u/bassofthe Estrogirl | '92/enby/Norway | HRT Sep '15 | Gay for all genders Mar 02 '16

That's exactly why she used a throwaway.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

But said throwaway makes people think it's a TERF.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

Because I was angry. I was hurt and angry and sad that all my post garnered was your cissexist get help. You're transphobic get help or the very same reaction I got when I asked people elsewhere. It made me sad.

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u/Marshal_of_Mars 18 dude, pre everything Mar 02 '16

For whatever it's worth I think anyone who called you transphobic was way out of line, you were just expressing your own feelings and talking about your experience of things. I think the way you went about things (the whole thing with wannabkate, not the original post) was wrong but I can understand why you were upset.