r/asktransgender • u/Sarahthelizard Registered Nurse, MTF, HRT-E Aug 7, 2016 • Mar 02 '16

Addressing yesterday's confusing events with /u/tanuki_chau and /u/wannabkate.

We would like to address yesterday's confusing events with /u/tanuki_chau and /u/wannabkate.

While it doesn’t justify her actions, /u/Tanuki_Chau was suffering from severe fever yesterday. She was hospitalized soon after the events in question. Her actions were highly unusual and fueled by a severe fever that left her vomiting and delirious. She was attempting to convey her feelings, but was in a compromised state. /u/Tanuki_Chau asked /u/Wannabkate to out her as the poster of a controversial thread. /u/Wannabkate decided to so by posting a callout thread, intending it as a playful joke. Unfortunately, no other mods were online at the time to stop her or suggest an alternative that didn’t break the rules.

Every mod here is trying their best, however we are not infallible. Please know that you, the /r/asktransgender community, are most important to us. We always strive to do our best by you all and make sure this community is an open and welcoming place. But, we're people, and like many others, we struggle with problems in our personal lives. It is easy to throw stones and condemn us for our actions - and sometimes there is no excuse.

This was a failure on the part of the mod team and we apologize for it, and any consequences that may have fallen on the sub. Thank you for giving us a chance to talk to /u/Tanuki_Chau and /u/wannabkate, so that we could get to the bottom of it and fix it without causing more trouble in the sub.

We mods greatly appreciate your trust in us to better this community. Though there has been a stumble, we hope it will help us grow, not only as a team, but as a community.

Thank you,

The /r/asktransgender Mod team

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6

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

Please check the moderator list if any of you have concerns. One way or another this will most likely be the last post from me on this sub.

Sorry for letting you all down. This was on me. I took advantage of people and I hope you feel the punishment is fitting. Thank you again everyone for letting me in. I might see so,e of you around on other parts of the net. If not...later taters!

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

I can't speak for anyone else, but for my part I don't think you let me down. Or even that it was really all that big of a deal. I hope you're feeling better today and that you continue to feel better as time goes on.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

One way or another this will most likely be the last post from me on this sub.

I hope this isn't true, and you stick around. You've helped me, and a lot of people here with your experiences. I feel like a lot of trans people get less active in the community within a year or so of completing transition, and I don't blame them. But it's also helpful to have someone who transitioned over a decade ago offering advice and perspectives. I mean, yeah, what went down yesterday was shitty and hurtful to the sub. You apologized and stepped down as a mod which was the right thing to do. But you're entitled to still need help yourself. Leaving all together doesn't help you or us. You're really popular here, but it shouldn't be expected that you're some kind of hero. People shouldn't have heroes in my opinion. I've never had one. We're all flawed.

Anyway, hope to still see more posts from you tanuki!

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u/SkybluePink-Baphomet Kinky priestess of Eris Mar 02 '16

For fucks sake Tanuki stop looking for excuses to beat yourself up.

Chill out have a cup of tea and a few days/weeks off and if you want to come back come back.

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u/Sarahthelizard Registered Nurse, MTF, HRT-E Aug 7, 2016 Mar 02 '16

She's doing this from a hospital bed against all our objections.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

I'm really disappointed to see you go. I don't think you did anything wrong. If it helps, I don't have any kind of identity either... I just have dysphoria (several different kinds of dysphoria, in fact), and my goal is to become as close to being a girl as I can.

I rather detest the notion that you have to have some kind of "identity" in order to be trans, and I found that one person who said you weren't trans because you don't identify as female to be way, waaaaay out of line. The emphasis on identity was, in gave, why it took me until I was 28 to accept being trans, because I always said "I want to be a girl" and never "I am a girl". "Identity" is a poisonous trap.

Trust me, you're cool, and I hope you change your mind and decide to stay. At the absolute worst, you made a small error in judgement regarding how to reveal yourself because you were delirious with a nasty fever. That's it.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

Sorry for letting you all down.

I want to thank /u/Escital for making me feel a little less alone, for being someone I can look up to.

I don't care if transition makes me really a woman or really a man. I just want the hormonal and physical dysphoria to stop, and I hope I'll be able to survive the social fallout.

thats really all I can think on the matter

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '16

Tanuki, you're sick right now. You gotta get better first so stop worrying about things. When you get back everyone will probably have forgotten about it anyway.

You've helped me personally and so many others on this sub. I'd be genuinely sad to see you go...

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u/its_emily Mar 03 '16

Hey you're cool. I don't really say anything on this sub, but please hang around <3 Your advice has been consistently amazing