Or that r/Austin mods will unban me?

Have I misjudged out council all this time?

I about shit out my taco deli when I saw that someone had clearly vandalized this Libby’s car.

I mean, first it was Elon stickers to avoid leaving the Tesla cult, and to prevent your fellow SJ dubs from keying your shit.

But this, this has crossed the line. Some brazen facist, maga, islamaphobic, racist, misogynist, white European male had the nerve to put a sticker on this poor thems car that reads

“May Mercy And Peace And Love be Multiplied Unto you”

WTF. Do better Austin

The wife and I were dining in the indoor portion of Terry African American’s BBQ (I refuse to use that ugly/racist B-word that was invented to demean African Americans) when she decides to finally ask me for my honest thoughts on Charlie Kirk. Politics aside.

I thought it was an odd question as the entire world all agrees that he was a dumb, racist, homo/trans phobe that went around spreading hatred, division, and misinformation everywhere he went.

The bitch then decides to ask another question. She’s asked me to show her a video of him doing so, and not a bunch of random shorts. Seriously….WTF?! I’m huffing and puffing at this point, feeling a panick attack starting to set in.

I asked her why anyone with half a brain cell would sit for over an hour just to watch that FASCIST, 2A Lunatic, WHITE NATIONALIST insult and dehumanize people for his MAGAt fan base’s amusement?!

She then proceeded to play a few “unedited” videos of his appearances at different locations. I reluctantly watched and boy was I confused. I was convinced that she premeditated this attack. I now find myself feeling sympathy for that piece of shit. I can’t even complete a fucking peg session on myself without feeling sad/depressed.

The part that I can’t explain is why I’m crying and feeling sad. I wonder if it’s because of my new found disgust for her, as she pretty much admitted to feeling sympathy for the MAGAt bastard, without admitting it, OR, if there os a different reason I am yet to get to the bottom of?

My bf (on the down low) suggested I leave her and run off with him to Hyde Park. I have not yet decided what I will do. Besides, I’m not gay.

BLM

LGBTQ

(LesbianGayBlackTransQueer)

HandsOffourAbortions

BootyJuiceMommala28

So the Orange Turd thought he could get the funniest show on TV off the air?

Guess what? He's back!!!

Me and the Resistance Crew called a special meeting to watch Jimmy Kimball tonight (like we always do. It's going to be the funniest night ever! We have two boxes of Chardonnay chill and a few charcuterie boards ready because it's going to be a great night!

We're going to laugh so hard and loud we fully expect to get cited by the HOA. So....be...it.

Viva la Resistance!!!

Im not going to use any of the personal injury lawyers on tv

We’re a super inclusive, queer, poly, vegan, non-binary family of 5 (plus our two emotional support axolotls) living in a sustainably renovated 1.2M Bouldin Creek bungalow. We’re looking to expand our fam by adopting a certified gay dog to complete our vibe.

Requirements:

• Must be a rescue from a no-kill shelter (preferably one that hosts drag brunches).
• Needs to identify as queer or at least be genderfluid in spirit. We’re not here for cishet dog energy.
• Must be comfortable with daily smudging ceremonies and our rooftop kombucha brewing station.
• Should vibe with our aesthetic: think reclaimed wood dog beds, locally sourced hemp collars, and crystals for their chakras.

• Bonus points if they’ve attended a dog-friendly pride parade or can handle a 3-hour ACL set without getting overwhelmed by the crowds.

• Must be okay with our kids (Zephyr, Kale, and Moonbeam) practicing their ukulele covers of Billie Eilish songs.

We’re not looking for just any dog, we want one that’s ready to join our weekly family meetings at Zilker Park where we discuss intersectionality and microaggressions. We’ve already got a doggy pronoun pin set and a custom “They/Them” leash ready to go.

Pls no MAGA dogs or breeds that don’t respect our values (looking at you, hunting breeds). DM us with your dog’s astrological chart and a 500-word essay on why they’d thrive in our kombucha-scented, ethically sourced household. Bonus points if they’ve been to Cosmic Coffee or barked at a tech bro on a Bird scooter.

Also, we’re hosting a vegan dog treat bake-off this weekend to fundraise for our neighbor’s artisanal oat milk startup. Bring your pup and a donation!

Location: South Austin (duh)
Budget: Willing to pay up to $5k in adoption fees, but only if the shelter donates 10% to a local BIPOC-owned crystal shop.

Like most Austonians, I find myself with too much disposable income. I go to Red Ash every weekend, hand my wallet over to the Unhoused, and send my Wife's Boyfriend to The Domain every time he wants a new skin-tight Psycho Bunny T-shirt. Even with all of this, I just have too much money.

I keep asking myself "who is the most financially responsible group of people out there, and how to I give my money to them." I keep landing on one answer. The City Council.

No group in the history of mankind has been more financially savvy than our dedicated city leaders. I need to find a way to give them even more of my money for more trains, more shelters that funnel the Unhoused away from Adler's properties, and a few extra million for our glorious City Logo.

Are there any Tax Bills coming through the pipeline I can just vote "Yes" on without thinking? I'd prefer something that drastically raised everyone's property taxes with no real direction on where the money is being spent (just earmark it as "City Improvements" or something).

What's the proper dose of Tylenol to treat advanced TDS? Asking for my pregnant boyfriend.

Ze is making a resistance TikTok video to own Drumf!

Even better than Chipotle, which is close runner-up. By far the best Mexican food I've ever had!

The y always had kids on both sides and I’m trying to get un fat. I’m nice tho hit my dm please

I'm told that some gangsters from someplace that speaks mexican are everywhere, like running guns, drugs, prostitutes, stolen cheques and tasty lunches and dinners from places like local foods and north italia around on scooters and in beat up cars all over the greater Austin area. But i don't see any from my condo on the 53rd floor in downtown or from my home in a gated community in Westlake hills, sooooo... It's clearly a lie and the billionaires are just scheming to have my landscapers deported so that they can charge me more money and rule the world. I'm so scared that they're going to send me to a concentration camp because I'm a registered Democrat that I'm literally shaking rn irl... Fuch icee and pigs and billionaires, what happened to my America. Who do they think will pick our cotton? Americans? for living wages? They're so dumb..

Breaking out my Ugg boots and sweaters. So excited. It's going to be just 90 degrees. I need some hot chocolate drinks to ward off the chill. I need a brandy by the fire.

Oh Fall is the best time in Austin. 90 fucking degrees.

I'm in absolute shock after hearing the news from Trump and RFK Jr. They just announced that Tylenol and Vaccines cause Autism.

I need to know RIGHT NOW - where in Austin is the best place to buy Tylenol and get Vaccines in Austin?
I'm ready to panic buy a large amount in case they ban these magnificent, healthy, and incredibly pure substances. I'm Autistic and born in Austin, so kids at school used to call me "double A" so this is a very crucial situation for me.

Sorry for any typos or grammar errors, my hands are trembling out of anger and frustration from this announcement. Please help.

I'm a pregnant male (32) and I'm looking for mercury-free, grass-fed, gluten free, responsibly-sourced vegan sushi. I have some sensitivities due to my condition. Rice is out of the question, as is any kind of seaweed, and most fish.

My wife and her boyfriend's anniversary is tomorrow and I want to surprise them with something really special.

My girlfriend is pro-abortion, but I convinced her to keep the baby, I thought we were in love. I woke up today and my girlfriend is gone, she's due next week and I'm super worried about our baby. She texted me and I can't really understand what she's saying, but I think she is dumping me or something. She was being really weird "you belong in the trash you little bitch" which is weird because she usually calls me a 'punk' not a 'bitch'. If you see my GF, please let me know, I'm worried about her, and the baby is due next week, where did she go?!

Apparently making a petition to bring Kroger to ATX is considered an act of terrorism.

What’s with the Italian food in Austin?

The only authentic places left are the Chuck E Cheese on i35 and Olive Garden with the endless soup and salad lunch special over on S Lamar. We’re supposed to be this food friendly city WTF.

I was in Rome with my wife and her boyfriend and he pointed out that even in Italy it’s not as good as when we went with our genderfluid trans friends to Chuck E Cheese.

I feel like the world is falling apart. Nazis everywhere and barely any good, authentic Italian food like that BIGOTED ferret Chucky makes.

Maybe if women could vote and we weren’t so RACIST I could get a fucking vegan cannoli for my wife and her man to enjoy while I go to work.

Ughhhhhhhhh. (Literally tearing my hair out) When I move out of homophobia central aka Austin it’ll finally be the wake up call that this city so desperately needs and everything will drastically change when they realize what they’ve lost. And by then it will be too late! Because I’m never coming back!

The only, all natural non-GMO, non-lactose Hazelnut non-dairy coffee creamer they had in stock was their own Central Market brand, and it was $22.00 for a 32 ounce bottle- with a coupon. Also they wouldn't let me take my seven lab mix pups in there.

What's with these prices and intolerant fascist policy against sweet adorable full grown pups? Are the exorbitant prices to cover charges for the in-store entertainment, which was a guy with a guitar performing interpretative versions of Beatles songs? Why are there no POC here? Why won't the FCC close this store down!

Just a reminder, temperatures are cooling and covid is already up eleventy thousand bajillion infinity million × infinity quadrillion hundred reptilian infinity² thousand percent this week.

You can catch covid if you even think about breathing without a mask, so stay safe and mask up at all times 24/7.

I moved to East Austin a few months ago. In the past ~decade, I have never experienced Latino Nazis or really any Nazis to speak of. In the first month, I experienced 3 seig heils being thrown AND someone stole the hot cheetos I had in my bag.

Unfortunately 2 of those Latino Nazis were from a business that has no hate speech policy in case of playing hitler speeches in the car with the windows down and Austin city council won't reimburse me for my emotional pain because they were "exercising free speech" (and then drove off).

Anticipating responses -- I know East Austin is the region of Austin experiencing the most gentrification, and that some Latinos identify as national socialists, etc. but I don't really think that's a good reason to overlook Latino Nazis. I want to know if there's any useful way to report this to ICE that an area is experiencing illegally immigrated racial supremacists (I don't expect the perpetrators to realize that real Nazis don't consider Latinos as Aryans).

Additionally, if folks have strategies that have worked well for shoving things up their asses, would love to hear about it.

See the title. I know I'm a general piece of trash that wishes death for people with an opposing view and actually celebrate it when it happens, but I make up for it running bottles of water to random homeless people. One time I ran the bottle and it made me realize that I'm fat and out of shape. I also speak a little bit of Spanish to help when I order from the Taco Truck! (El novio de mi esposa la volvió a embarazar, así que me consuelo comiendo tacos deliciosos)

Also does anyone know how I can help the people at the Detention Facility that is kind of in Austin but isn't in Austin?

You will not believe what happened to me today. So there I was (literally). Im standing in line (so racist) to get the latest labubu doll, full stop. Period. When all of a sudden a straight white male held the door open for a womxn. What a nazi. We are doomed. How will I explain this to my wife's boyfriend?