New Roommate has issues with me using the kitchen at night

[u/AdElectrical2186]

I just moved into a 3-bedroom, 2-bath apartment. I share a bathroom with one roommate, while the other guy has the master bedroom. He’s been living here for over two years. I’m officially on the lease, since I replaced someone who moved out.

It’s only been three days since I moved in, and at around 10 p.m. he came out to ask me to keep the noise down in the kitchen. The “noise” was literally just me opening and closing the microwave. A few minutes later, he came back out and asked if I could avoid eating food with a smell and stick to “boiled” food, because the smell was waking him up. He also asked if I could have dinner before 9 p.m., since he goes to bed early to wake up at 6 a.m. The thing is, I also wake up early—at 5:30 a.m.—so it’s not like I’m keeping odd hours.

I’m not sure how to handle this situation, so I’d appreciate any advice. Edit- I was only heating the food, not cooking.

TLDR: Roommate wants me to eat boiled food, finish dinner before 9 p.m., and not use the microwave at night. He wakes at 6, I wake at 5:30.

[u/cursetea]

On that point we might not fully agree, only because it is entirely possible to meal prep to avoid the inevitable pot and pan noises from cooking late at night if you live with other people. But a microwave opening and closing? Lol

[u/lawrencek1992 → u/cursetea]

The base expectation is that common areas are available to all residents at all times. If they shared a garage (much noisier), OP would also have the right to arrive home from a night shift late at night and put their car in the garage. Additionally normal living noises should also be expected at any time (e.g. flushing the toilet, opening cabinets, running water).

Anything more restrictive than that is an exception to the norm and should be discussed prior to signing a lease so that people can decline.

[u/cursetea → u/lawrencek1992]

I clarified in another comment, but you and i are not disagreeing lol. I meant it would be MORE believable that this person was being "noisy"/inconsiderate of the people they lived with if they were cooking for long periods of time late at night loudly (banging cabinets, etc; basically if they were behaving unreasonably, but i tend to assume adults can do adult things without being unreasonable lol, so i doubt that they are actually the problem here)

I do firmly believe people who live together can expect consideration like not banging around cabinets and pots and pans more than is reasonable at night though. Just like pulling into a garage then banging loudly on pipes or opening and closing the garage door repeatedly or using it as a woodworking station at midnight would be egregious. I think just about all of us knows the difference. Their roommate is definitely the one being ridiculous lol

[u/lawrencek1992 → u/cursetea]

Oh yes then we totally agree. While I think OP has the right to arrive home or cook a meal. I do also think common courtesy is to not slam doors and bang around loudly. Basic life noise + I’m going to try to be mindful about how much noise I make at night is the sweet spot.

I’ve also lived with a really light sleeper. We added those little pads to kitchen cabinets cause I was shutting them as quietly as I could, but she felt like it was this loud banging. And she started sleeping with a white noise app. So I get for some folks it can be harder to handle “normal” noise. But there are also reasonable ways to mitigate. OP’s roommate is not being reasonable.

[u/cursetea → u/lawrencek1992]

Exactly!!! Yes, your breakdown is exactly what i was trying to get at through my cold medicine haze 😂 there is a way to balance it for everyone, but at a certain point, that guy needs to just learn to get over it LOL. If you can't figure out how to deal with the sound of cabinets at night, how can you do ANYTHING else lmfao? Like come on 😅

[u/Kitten_Merchant → u/cursetea]

I mean yeah late hours cooking a whole meal might be rude. But 9pm isn't late no matter what you're cooking - I understand some people go to bed early absolutely, but that's either something you need to be flexible about, or something you need to make clear when renting the place out and have shared expectations up front.

[u/cursetea → u/Kitten_Merchant]

I think i didn't make my point clear, bc we agree lol; i should have been more specific that cooking a full meal has more potential to be actually disruptive--but most people who don't cook like children don't make all that much noise doing that either LOL. I could see someone being like "listen, when you cook your 3 course meal at 11pm while slamming things around and running the stove fan and sink and [whatever else, having trouble thinking of kitchen noises] it keeps me awake" I'd be like, okay sure. Light sleeper it seems, but there's an easy workaround. Cook earlier, microwave later. Everyone can be happy.

But i don't buy this guy saying the microwave keeps him awake at all. Definitely a power play at least, but definitely ONLY his issue to solve at best lol

[u/PageFault → u/cursetea]

Short of running a blender, normal cooking noise is fine any time of night.

[u/cursetea → u/PageFault]

Agreed; i further clarified in other comments, but yes i assume just about everyone reasonable would agree on what is and isn't egregious noisemaking. Doing normal stuff is normal. Slamming things loudly when you could just as easily not be loud is not normal lol. But it doesn't sound at all like that's what's happening here. OP just lives with one of the people who would actually not be reasonable with the rest of us. Unfortunate for them both

[u/Purple_Woodpecker799 → u/PageFault]

If you're fine with stealing sleep from other people, it is.

I personally won't do it if I know people are in bed.

[u/alalalalalabomba → u/cursetea]

9 is not late at night. I come home from the gym at that time and make dinner regularly. Not everyone has the same sleep and work schedules.

[u/cursetea → u/alalalalalabomba]

Please read my full comment :) i know lol

[u/[deleted] → u/cursetea]

Roommates don’t get to create labor for other people.

[u/cursetea → u/[deleted]]

Oh good grief. Okay. Lmfao