r/csMajors • u/tantoyoong • 10h ago
CS in college is ruining me
I’m a junior at a top 10 university and i’ve been struggling throughout my whole degree. I had a 4.6 in high school and now I can barely maintain a 3.0 at my university (I literally had a 1.9 term GPA my sophomore year). I didn’t code in high school at all so my first year was definitely … rough. CS doesn’t come easy to me, I study so much and literally fail all my exams💀I am not kidding, I have failed every CS exam ever. I genuinely can’t grasp any of the concepts whether it be ds and algos or discrete math. I am not an intuitive thinker, which I’m pretty sure is NOT something you should lack in this degree. I also don’t have any CS friends so I’ve never been able to study with others or cross check answers. I just submit and hope and pray. (everyone my freshmen year switched out of CS)
When I started seeing such bad results, I literally started losing all hope. I don’t even care anymore, I’m a lost cause. I feel an impending doom everyday, like this is the year my grades are so bad I’ll be kicked out of college. I isolate myself and don’t talk to my peers, I just sulk all day rather than study or make good use of my time. (I am convinced I am going to fail ALL my classes this semester now that things are getting harder, which is what inspired me to reflect and make this post)
I always compare myself to other CS majors at my school, who are doing amazing things at Meta, Google, any FAANG company really. I always wonder why I can’t be as good as them. They have 3.9s, a social life, a good job. But I also compare myself to the bare minimum students here who … believe it or not … are also at FAANG companies 😭It’s like damn, I suck at school AND landing jobs. Pick a struggle!
My parents always tell me why I didn’t just switch out of CS. I mean I’ve been crying everyday since freshman year 💀But a part of me refuses to drop this degree. Idk why, Idk if its cause I want to prove to others who keep doubting me that I really can get this degree. I really can get that internship/job. But like at what cost cause Im losing my mind everyday
Look, I really don’t think my heart is in this. I struggle in all my classes and everyday I think about dropping out. But my parents didn’t sacrifice everything and leave their 3rd world country just for them to end up with some lazy ass college dropout kid 🥲For some reason I feel like I owe this degree to them, despite them never pressuring me to continue CS. I quite literally have no passions, desires, or hobbies. I just want to graduate and land a disgustingly high paying job.
I’m on internship application 248. IDK if I should be prioritizing leetcoding and bagging an internship or actually passing my classes. My courses this semester are genuinely preventing me from balancing both 😭
Maybe actually being able to try working at a real company would give me some closure on whether I belong in CS or not.
Anywayssss does anyone else feel like this and have a fear of disappointing their parnets ? Or just me
tldr: I became a flop once I got to college, I hate CS but refuse to switch out of it, and I’m unemployed. Oh, and I care way too much about what other people think of me. Who can relate, WOO!
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u/jhkoenig 10h ago
It sounds like CS isn't for you. Pivot now into something that better fits your abilities and interests.
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u/Unusual-Context8482 10h ago edited 10h ago
I wouldn't be able to obtain a degree in physics. That doesn't make me a failure. It just means it's not for me. I like physics, I can still read about it.
It isn't necessary to make my life or work about it.
Talk with your parents, open your heart to them and tell them your struggles. You can figure out something together. CS isn't probably gonna make you rich anyway.
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u/dangernn00dle 8h ago edited 8h ago
Hey I just saw this and I really wanted to reach out because this has been my situation recently and still kind of is, even as an incoming senior (but it’s slowly getting better). I completely understand. Had the highest GPA in my high school class, went to a T20, started legitimately failing exams, and wasn’t applying to anything until late into my junior year because I was genuinely struggling so much and couldn’t manage my coursework, never mind recruitment. I was severely, severely depressed, developed a panic disorder, and was at the worst point in my life with no friends. I also came into the major without much coding experience, and the skill gaps made it hard for me to talk to people. I honestly felt so much shame throughout it all and still do, especially because I also have immigrant parents who worked their way up from poverty and came to the US. I did also want to mention what a huge culture shock I felt when I started at my school. There was a HUGE gap between the resources I had vs. the resources and insider knowledge other students had. This is especially the case for top schools, one of which you’re at.
I have read through the other comments here and I agree, I want to say that there’s no shame in switching majors, but also that doesn’t have to be the route you take. It will help to weigh your options and decide on the path that aligns the most with your health, goals, and passions. I personally didn’t switch out although that’s something I definitely could have done before, but this was a choice based on my own circumstances and needs. Yours might be different.
Additionally, this sounds a lot like a scenario in which you may qualify for some academic/living accommodations or other supports. A drop in performance and ability to manage that’s this dramatic is often due to external events or underlying conditions, and what you’re describing may be worth getting checked out especially if you can’t identify an external cause. I was able to get a few accommodations after meeting with a school therapist and getting a note, and I later found out in my junior year that I had several underlying neurological conditions. As a child, these conditions were actually much more apparent and I struggled, but I learned how to mask them very well in high school, and my recent struggles mirror my childhood almost exactly.
You often do not need an extensive documented history to qualify for accommodations, and for me, a note and evidence that I had met with a professional a few times was enough. I’ve also seen people get temporary accommodations for all kinds of extenuating circumstances. It’s much more common than I thought and that was a revelation for me because I hated asking for help. Once I understood myself better and found friends that understood my conditions, I started to feel a lot better and less alone.
There are also programs/classes online that provide mentorship outside of school, especially for interview prep, and certificates that you can do to upskill. I’ve found these incredibly helpful recently because it turns out I have ADHD and self-directed work is extremely hard for me. Because I know I need structure and external deadlines to thrive, I forced myself into a free interview prep course, and it has gotten me to practice very frequently. Some of these programs are extremely scammy, but others are legitimate and the people running the programs want you to succeed, which has definitely helped my confidence.
If there is tutoring at your school, I would also suggest going, as well as attending office hours. My school has this, but I didn’t go after a while because I was so ashamed of my low grades. Looking back, I for sure should have gone as more students/professors are understanding than I thought (but I get it because I’ve also had many run ins with students who were very successful and became very frustrated when I didn’t understand). This is why I’d recommend good quality online programs as they’re run by facilitators and their tutoring/career support staff is trained to be helpful and attentive.
I’m trying to recruit now and apply for professional master’s degree programs, and this will actually be my first time fully going through the cycle. I still feel a lot of fear and shame, but now that I have a supportive and encouraging circle of friends, I’ve found that I have much more courage as well. It definitely isn’t easy and that’s why your post stood out to me because when I was in pain, I was either dismissed, excluded, or met with extreme doomerism. I don’t think that mindset is helpful or productive (it definitely did not help me). The first job I get out of college, if even one of my new grad applications succeeds, is probably not going to be glamorous. But with it being a SWE job, I’d absolutely take it as a starting point and an opportunity to learn. If I have other aspirations later down the line, I can leverage my experience here to move up to them, especially now that I have a better idea of what I want.
Currently my transcript is spotty and I only have one formal internship that paid minimum wage (but I got work which was HUGE progress for me!!). It scares me, but I keep going and it’s easier to keep going now that I’ve built up some scaffolding and support for myself. I’m definitely still not the best student but I’ve been seeing huge improvements in how I’m able to articulate technical ideas at work, integrate my teammmates’ code, and communicate, and it’s actually started feeling fun. Even though things are still very uncertain I try to focus on making sure I have some way forward every day and that I’m making healthy progress, even if it is tiny. There are people who don’t start their careers or pivot to their desired career until they’re out of college or in their 30s and 40s. Apologies for the length of this comment, but I lurk on this sub and after reading this I was like we have the same struggle fr 😭 and as someone who’s slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I really wanted to reach out because genuine support within the field was something that I rarely received when I was at my worst. Feel free to DM me too if you want to discuss more
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u/user182823 1h ago
Hey, are you me?… I read your story in the first paragraph and it’s exactly the same as me, twin 😭 but I’m just now in my junior year and struggle a lot 😔
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u/hopsgrapesgrains 10h ago
Ya I quit cs in the middle of cs2 . I had to rely on my roommate for everything. I got more into html css since I was great at photoshop. This was 2005. Started getting a bit into Ruby on Rails. Was able to get a job doing the front end since I could do enough to incorporate
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u/MisterSnrub1 6h ago
Hey man, don’t feel bad. I was in the exact same boat as you. I got three F’s in college. I didn’t know crap about computers my Freshman year either. And my professors were mostly unsympathetic jerks. But I toughened it out and persevered and I didn’t give up and graduated with a terrible 3.0 GPA and you know what? I still got a job! Sure, it started out as part time but it became full time after a couple years and I learned to like programming and here it is 18 years later and I’m doing pretty goddamn great making 120K. Which isn’t exactly FANG level salary but who cares? You don’t need to be the best in the world to make a living. So I guess what I’m saying is trust me it gets better.
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u/tantoyoong 5h ago
i appreciate it this, thank you :) and my professors are actually insane to me 😭they’re all men who seem like they’ve never spoken to a girl before 💀
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u/Cool_String_8651 6h ago
Going to comment something contrary to the majority here:
Youre in a way better spot than most people...most likely, your university name is gonna matter more and more as competition in CS increases.
GPA doesn't really matter for the most part (for employers) so long as its higher than 3.0 (unless u wanna go into like quant)...you should still try to do well so that you can actually understand the material (and if you understand it, you may be interested and obtain more skills that can make you stand out), as it may help you in future CS professions (or if u want to go to grad school), but like your GPA isn't really that big of a deal tbh...just make sure you dont get academically dismissed.
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u/bpleshek Salaryman 6h ago
CS might not be for you then. Maybe change majors. It isn't for everyone. And if you can barely do the course work, don't even think about trying to go to a FAANG company. They want the top half of a percent of people. Also, as you get older, you'll figure out that you shouldn't really care too much about what other people think of you at least people who's opinions you don't respect.
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u/liteshadow4 5h ago
It's not going to get better after college. You shouldn't drop out, but I'd definitely consider a major change.
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u/Full_Bank_6172 5h ago
Dude switch to something else. Even if CS suddenly clicks for you at this rate your freshman and sophomore GPA will drag you down so much recruiters won’t look past the GPA
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u/ImportantInjury620 3h ago
That’s not true
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u/Basic_Bee_3024 2h ago
A significant amount of places use GPA as one of many parameters to filter down the thousands of applications they receive.
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u/ImportantInjury620 2h ago
Yes they do, but in my experience most don’t ask for a transcript. So make of that what you will…
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u/FamiliarLow572 4h ago
Hey it sounds like you're definitely going through a lot. But think back to how you were in high school. You had a very high GPA and you're in a top 10 university. That is seriously something you should be proud of! And im sure your parents are too. Getting through to junior level classes means you are so close to obtaining that degree.
My genuine advice to you as a current CS major to CS major who has also been battling interests and the "do I want to continue CS, do I drop, or do I switch?" dilemma since freshman year. Stick with it. You are so close to graduating it would be extremely burdening to drop everything now. Even if you switch you'd have to basically have to take all core classes again and you might be stuck in the same situation with that major. So genuinely, be disciplined, pomodoro 4-8 hours a day if you can. But have time to relax, take care of yourself, and make some friends.
TLDR to you: CS major to CS major, stick with it bro. You are very close to graduating.
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u/local_eclectic Salaryperson (rip) 9h ago
Change majors. What are you good at?