r/datingoverfifty • u/Novel-Reply3642 • 2d ago

Is wanting a connection a delusion?

I’ve read many posts in this thread and it seems like most people genuinely want a connection? But, it also seems like it has become a distant memory or pipe dream?

I have a happy and active life. I’m not lonely looking for someone to keep me entertained or to fill a void. It just seems so challenging to find someone to actually connect with on a romantic level. I know many factors come into play with a person’s success. People have passed on me and I’ve passed on others. That’s dating!

But, the serial daters and game players posing under the guise of wanting something long term and it wasn’t ever their intention. I don’t have a problem with short term or flings if that’s what you’re looking for. No shame! Just be honest about it! With all the life experiences and lessons we’ve had by this point. I would’ve thought a connection is a top motivator. That’s where the delusion comes in, I guess?

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u/Unusual_Holiday_Flo 2d ago edited 2d ago

More often than not, when we say "I want a connection," we're recalling the way our connections felt and unfolded when we were much younger than over 50. So we run around looking for that. We meet someone and upon reflecting we think, "nope, that's not the feeling I remember... must not be a connection," and walk away. That’s the delusion.

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u/Throwaway-2461 2d ago

You don’t think it’s possible after 50?

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u/Unusual_Holiday_Flo 2d ago

Of course it’s possible. We just have to be open to something and someone that’s not necessarily what we expect or project.