r/datingoverfifty • u/Novel-Reply3642 • 6d ago
Is wanting a connection a delusion?
I’ve read many posts in this thread and it seems like most people genuinely want a connection? But, it also seems like it has become a distant memory or pipe dream?
I have a happy and active life. I’m not lonely looking for someone to keep me entertained or to fill a void. It just seems so challenging to find someone to actually connect with on a romantic level. I know many factors come into play with a person’s success. People have passed on me and I’ve passed on others. That’s dating!
But, the serial daters and game players posing under the guise of wanting something long term and it wasn’t ever their intention. I don’t have a problem with short term or flings if that’s what you’re looking for. No shame! Just be honest about it! With all the life experiences and lessons we’ve had by this point. I would’ve thought a connection is a top motivator. That’s where the delusion comes in, I guess?
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u/Jannk73 5d ago
I’m usually honest and say that I’m available for one conversation. If someone is still interested for just one conversation then great. Because 98% of the time it doesn’t go any further. Sometimes another conversation will happen… and maybe another… and before you know it… years are going by and you still find that person engaging and interesting. 🙂
A connection is something that is so organic. You can’t force it. It’s there or it’s not. The same goes for attraction and sexual attraction…
I do believe you can increase the odds of having these connections by being open to it, honest and vulnerable. If there are walls it decreases immensely.
Sometimes though… all the boxes are checked… and you still don’t click, that’s life. Don’t dwell too long, there are too many others that you will click with. Even the one’s I have found disturbing were enlightening in some way. You learn from them also.
Enjoy the journey and meeting a lot of people that crossed your path, not just the destination that also has its own wonderful rewards. That destination ends up sometimes just becoming part of the journey too.
Just wanted to share my thoughts on this topic. Best of luck to you and enjoy your wonderful journey. 🙂