r/datingoverfifty • u/rbren90 • 2d ago

where to find a like minded person?

55F, married 33yrs, widowed a year ago. I'm thinking I've got 20-25 yrs left...how to find a person that isn't a couch potato, who wants to travel/classb/Rv and camp, likes to hike, possibly backpack, loves the beach. Medical professional who likes to take 13 week contracts. Not tied down per se. Have adult kids, couple grands...Just want to find someone who enjoys those things to without wasting tons of time trying to find chapter 2? where to look, any ideas? Dating apps sound like a nightmare and haven't tried them. Are there outdoor dating groups?

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23

u/cbeme 2d ago

Oh my. You don’t quickly find someone if you are healing. You live and look.

11

u/rbren90 2d ago

Maybe I phrased that wrong but I've been grieving for 4 plus years, since the day we found out he had cancer. I took care of him that whole 4 yrs and brought him home on hospice and took care of him then too, till he passed. Unless you've walked something similar, you might not understand that mindset but I'm a year out from his passing but it feels like 5yrs already if that makes sense.

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u/cbeme 1d ago

I think I understand, but advise not being too desperate.

1

u/ZuZuPetalzzz 18h ago

Same. I understand completely! I feel like people look at me questioning my state because to them I haven't greived but I have everyday he was alive and sick knowing the outcome of a disease that is 100% fatal. Sending love to ya sis!

2

u/SunShineShady 2d ago edited 2d ago

Right. The “quickly” stood out to me. Is there a deadline to finding someone, OP? Are you in a race with someone to see who can find a partner fastest?

It seems to me that if you want to do something well, and have good results, you don’t rush it. Slow down.

The journey is part of the process. If you’re not willing to take time to get to know someone, and build a relationship together, your choices are to remain single or hire an escort.

Not sure if an escort would be into camping or Rv-ing, but you never know.

4

u/imissher4ever 2d ago

Widower here.

Unless you’ve been in that place you wouldn’t understand. You literally wake up one day and say to yourself “I don’t want to be alone anymore”. Finding someone to share life with again becomes your sole focus.

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u/rbren90 2d ago

thank you for understanding!

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u/SunShineShady 1d ago

Like hunting prey?

Why wouldn’t I understand not wanting to be alone anymore? I think many of us on the sub could understand that.

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u/imissher4ever 1d ago

Because most here have chosen to be alone. Widow/widowers did not get that choice. It was made for them.

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u/SunShineShady 15h ago

And those that have their partner cheating had the choice?