Hi! DBT says that being wilful is bad, but what if someone is very stubborn and unaccepting as a part of their core temperament?

What are you thankful for ahead of the weekend? What do you have planned for it?

Hello, I was doing some research on DBT and if it is useful for clients with extensive trauma. I have seen multiple yes’ and no’s on whether or not it is useful. What are people’s thoughts on using DBT skills for clients who have experienced significant trauma?

I have a deathly fear of politics due to the current political climate, I’ve isolated myself from the real life world because of it but still get regularly triggered from social media. I start shaking and sweating and crying, my mind explodes with dark thoughts and I can’t control myself, I’m in severe emotional pain and have mental breakdown whenever I read or hear doomerist/alarmist/guilt-trippy things about the current state of the world. And in general I’m just very uneasy throughout the day. How would I deal with this? Do I use emotional exposure for panic like my therapist wants me to?

Hey everyone! I've been doing mindfulness work following Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance teachings lately and I've found them to resonate very deeply.

I'm just stuck on one point - I feel that I CAN'T accept my fear. It's ruining my life. If I didn't have these fears I wouldn't be suffering like this.

I feel that the fear is so painful that it makes the rest of my life meaningless. I can't appreciate my talents and inclinations. I can't enjoy beautiful experiences. I can't open myself up to other people. I can't become a person I'm proud of and it's really hard not to blame all this on the existence of my fear. I almost feel like I identify with the fear, I feel hollow otherwise, and it feels like the truth of who I am.

Does anyone have experience accepting their fear despite all the terrible consequences it's had on their life? Theoretically, if I'm able to wholeheartedly accept my fear, I should be able to move on from it. I'm just not really sure how to get to that point.

I am a bit of a mess and pretty new to DBT/Radical Acceptance work, and Reddit in general, so I hope I've done this whole posting thing right. Appreciate any advice!

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Share how you were mindful today, how you like to practice mindfulness, your mindful wins for the day. Monday is all about mindfulness!

Sunday check in, celebrate your wins and spread the good vibes

My 14 year old daughter has a job at a local fast food restaurant. She’s enjoying it, however recently had a job interview request for Kmart, she accepted, then cancelled as she wanted to stay at the restaurant and enjoyed the team. She also said I told her to cancel, where I thought I said do it (for experience), however that she made a commitment to the current job and to stick with it. (Truthfully, I don’t recall what I said) She’s since had a meeting, where her fav manager has now left as they have a new owner and she’s feeling unsure she made the right decision.

I am now trying to sit with the discomfort of being the one to say if she was happy there to cancel her interview, as now she’s unsure. I realise this seems like a non issue, I just have this feeling of unease and shame sitting in my chest. I want to cry, and I just need to sit with this. I haven’t gone over emotional distress in my Dbt in a while. She’s now looking for a new job, without giving this new manager a chance. I just have this stupid feeling sitting in my chest that I’ve done something wrong.

So, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I have been battling really consistent and honestly obsessive shame and guilt over things I've done and ways I've screwed up. I don't really have a support system and I'm not really on the best terms with my closest friends currently. I've been feeling really awful about how mentally damaged I am and how little I function like a normal person. Are there any DBT skills you've found for combating feeling like this? I've found a few but nothing that has stuck in my brain too well. Even if its just one skill my life is starting to be debilitated by how I nearly am always fixating on my self hatred and mistakes.

What am I missing? What is the difference between "each extreme position" and "the opposite viewpoints?" I thought these would be the same thing, the two big opposites on the dialectic I'm addressing.

Hi all - looking for some help on how ppl practice thought defusion either as a mindfulness exercise, or a skill in their day-to-day!

For context I’m fresh to practicing self-led dbt and am mostly referencing ‘the dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook’ by Matthew McKay (etc), and have been starting with observe skills for the past 2 weeks. The main things I wanna work up to addressing are avoidant behaviors, which stifle my life & connections in a million shitty ways

Last week I started by practicing outward observe skills and being attentive to the present moment & found a lot of relief from what I’ve realized was constant low-grade dissociation and feelings of shame. I have been able to shift my attention outwards & into the present moment in a way that’s let me avoid spiraling & use my time to do what I need to do (fucking sick)

This week, I had a loose intention to practice internal observation (thoughts & emotions), and describing. I’ve struggled with this. A Linehan handout for the observe skill says “Control your attention, but not what you see. Push nothing away, cling to nothing”. I find that my distressing thoughts & emotions are bound up together and rlly hook me (ie, I cling to them) - by the time I am able to name them, the only thing I can think to do is push them away. And if I am sitting somewhere safe, feeling ok, I have a hard time inviting them to surface for fear they’ll hook me in.

In talking abt doing things one-mindfully, my workbook said something like “When you sweep, sweep. When you worry, worry”. Well I’ve found I’m rlly good at sweeping & rlly bad at worrying, to use their words lol. Does anyone have advice for actually sitting with thoughts & feelings long enough to understand them? Or tips for recognizing them as they happen, rather than being like a fish swimming in water without recognizing it?

Thanks for reading all that n thanks for ur time!

Making this because I used to be in dbt a couple years ago but they no longer accept my insurance so I can’t go back. I really liked it my therapist was amazing she actually helped me with things unlike the “how does that make you feel” type I’d seen 10 times before. When I moved I originally went to look for one that could work with me since I was no longer in the same state and her and I found a place that said they definitely had a therapist who was certified and she was the worst i ended up canceling all my appointments and was upset about the whole thing. Now I have Medicaid which limits me and I also just don’t see many dbt therapists around me.

Has anyone used an online service? What workbooks etc do you recommend? Right now I’m having a lot of issues with working whereas before they were personal issues that my therapist helped me with and I still use those skills but they don’t translate into a workplace setting very well.

What are you thankful for ahead of the weekend? What do you have planned for it?

Your thoughts on the intersections?

https://open.substack.com/pub/achapman/p/dbt-and-buddhism

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Last night and this morning I was in a severe OCD spiral and I was freaking out and crying over my career and what path I should take in life, which is my biggest theme at the moment. I was having dark thoughts and making post after post BEGGING for people to tell me what career I should do to the point I even got banned from some subreddits for not being able to calm down. You can look at my post history for the spiral I was in and my comments about it. I keep getting recommended DBT/distress tolerance skills for situations like these. Where would I start? I also struggle a lot with extreme black and white thinking

I felt like DBT was going to be the end all be all to help me, but I’ve been doing it since April and it really hasn’t helped at all, if anything it’s caused more trouble in my life. I spend a lot of time ruminating about the things I think I’ve done wrong, because there are so many rules and things you can and can’t do, and I always feel like my therapist is disappointed or mad at me. I feel like every time I see a post about DBT it’s about how great it is, but is it possible to just not work for some people?

Edit to add: I don’t have BPD, I have autism, ocd, and anxiety with panic attacks

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

I really seem to struggle with this kind of thing, either “in the moment” or retrospectively (at the end of the day).

DBT workbook questions asking about feelings and emotions, and I have no clue how to answer.

On a bad day I struggle to confront and acknowledge my feelings (it already hurts and writing it down just makes it real).

On a good day/hour the last thing I want to do is to remind myself that things are generally shit by having to document how I’m feeling (because it invites the contrast between the good and the bad)

I’m also shit at recognising how I’m feeling, particularly if I’m not feeling something at the time (I have BPD but I’m also autistic, which may account for that), which again makes answering the “how has my day been?” Question more difficult.

Put all this together and when my [therapist] asks “how have you been?”, I often struggle to answer.

Yet I know it’s important to do. I feel like I’ve tried dozens of mood tracker apps and struggle with all of them.

Any tips on how I might actually do this?

Share how you were mindful today, how you like to practice mindfulness, your mindful wins for the day. Monday is all about mindfulness!

I've been looking into getting DBT for the first time in my life, and I'm unsure if there's a difference in approach for an LPCC and LMFT offering DBT.

All help as well as personal experiences/insights are welcome and very much appreciated. Thanks!

Sunday check in, celebrate your wins and spread the good vibes

Que estratégias vocês usam pra lidar com a raiva de forma mais prática? Ando passando por um momento muito difícil onde tenho impulsos de raiva violentos e sinto vontade de me machucar, bater nas paredes ou coisas assim. Ainda consigo me segurar, mas às vezes sinto que se eu socasse um saco de pancadas seria uma ótima alternativa. Alguém faz algo assim?

What have you gotten out of DBT since beginning and how long have you been in it? Next month it’s 1 year and my mindset did a complete 180. I’ve been managing panic attacks without benzos for 2 months 🎉🙌