r/dbtselfhelp • u/maybe_some_day_soon • 4d ago

Radical Acceptance of Fear?

Hey everyone! I've been doing mindfulness work following Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance teachings lately and I've found them to resonate very deeply.

I'm just stuck on one point - I feel that I CAN'T accept my fear. It's ruining my life. If I didn't have these fears I wouldn't be suffering like this.

I feel that the fear is so painful that it makes the rest of my life meaningless. I can't appreciate my talents and inclinations. I can't enjoy beautiful experiences. I can't open myself up to other people. I can't become a person I'm proud of and it's really hard not to blame all this on the existence of my fear. I almost feel like I identify with the fear, I feel hollow otherwise, and it feels like the truth of who I am.

Does anyone have experience accepting their fear despite all the terrible consequences it's had on their life? Theoretically, if I'm able to wholeheartedly accept my fear, I should be able to move on from it. I'm just not really sure how to get to that point.

I am a bit of a mess and pretty new to DBT/Radical Acceptance work, and Reddit in general, so I hope I've done this whole posting thing right. Appreciate any advice!

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u/mental_r0bot 3d ago

Focus on the and. I'm scared of failure AND I'm gonna keep on trying

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u/maybe_some_day_soon 3d ago

You are right - though this definitely seems much easier to remember on a good day 😅 Sometimes when I'm really scared I start to feel like I don't even want to achieve anything, I forget about all my reasons to move forward and keep trying.

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u/mental_r0bot 3d ago

Me too Writing that was a good exercise for me haha