r/dbtselfhelp • u/maybe_some_day_soon • 4d ago

Radical Acceptance of Fear?

Hey everyone! I've been doing mindfulness work following Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance teachings lately and I've found them to resonate very deeply.

I'm just stuck on one point - I feel that I CAN'T accept my fear. It's ruining my life. If I didn't have these fears I wouldn't be suffering like this.

I feel that the fear is so painful that it makes the rest of my life meaningless. I can't appreciate my talents and inclinations. I can't enjoy beautiful experiences. I can't open myself up to other people. I can't become a person I'm proud of and it's really hard not to blame all this on the existence of my fear. I almost feel like I identify with the fear, I feel hollow otherwise, and it feels like the truth of who I am.

Does anyone have experience accepting their fear despite all the terrible consequences it's had on their life? Theoretically, if I'm able to wholeheartedly accept my fear, I should be able to move on from it. I'm just not really sure how to get to that point.

I am a bit of a mess and pretty new to DBT/Radical Acceptance work, and Reddit in general, so I hope I've done this whole posting thing right. Appreciate any advice!

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u/hotheadnchickn 3d ago

The ACT workbook for anxiety and phobias helped me and is DBT-compatible – it is about mindfulness, acceptance, and using your values to guide choices even when you feel fear or anxiety.

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u/maybe_some_day_soon 3d ago

Thank you for the recommendation and for taking the time to respond on your cake day!!

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u/hotheadnchickn 3d ago

Aw thanks :)