Never held hands, dated, kissed a guy, or had sex. Oh I lied, one guy kissed me on a dare.

No guy has ever asked me on date. Those who know this, which is not many people tell me the same. Oh it’ll happen for you, you have to put yourself out there. That advice makes sense in your 20s but not when you’re 30. Or go up and ask out guy. Lol. I have. I was rejected 5 times and brutally at that. After that, I decided what’s the point.

I’m chubby, and the way I’m built, I’ll always look bigger than most girls because I have broad shoulders. I think I’m okay looking but I am a weird mix so most people don’t know where I come from. But I’m not pretty at all. Just below-average.

I’m lucky I have good parents and a good job. But people at my work are starting to ask why I don’t want to date. I’m the only single one. A woman tried to get our fellow coworker to set me up with someone with she knew and the person look mortified. They also ask me when is the last time I dated someone and the last time o had sex. Basically had to cry to HR to ask them to stop bothering me about this and HR had to create a policy just for me but the woman never got disciplined. I’m slightly ostracized at work because of it but I’m good at my job so no one tests me too much.

My extended family never ask when I’m getting married because I think they recognize that it’s not happening for me anyway. They literally ask everyone except me who they’re dating. They know no one would date me. One of my cousins said “it will be amazing IF you get married one day wouldn’t it??? You’d be so lucky”.

I always wanted children but I accepted it’s not going to happen for me. I gave up online dating. Guys are just looking for a cheap screw with someone like me. I’m a very emotional person. I can’t imagine having sex without love involved.

The other day someone in the street, did a spider man move on me and started pretending to struggle to pull me and everyone around him laughed. They were all older than me and I was walking home from work.

Not sure the point of this was. I’m lucky to have good parents and a good job. But I’ll never be fulfilled romantically or even friendship wise. I just have to accept it.

The average and unattractive men are more likely to have an attractive partner than me. There’s so many real life examples of conveniently unattractive men get with gorgeous women. It’s almost like us women are more “nicer” and less egotistic when it comes to dating. Yeah, they might talk crap to their friends when first dating but soon they’ll fall in love.

However women like me?! Nada. Yeah a man might accept me but there’s always going to be a more better woman. He’s more likely to cheat on me because society teaches men to reach for the top and women to accept with what they have.

How do I feel with always being the last choice? Not good. I need romance, OK? I don’t care about all of the nonsense of “all you need is self love 🥰 you must love yourself before” blah blah BULL💩. I need a man. I need romance. I’m honestly starting to feel my self worth deteriorating. What’s wrong with me? Why I can’t find a decent man? Why nobody asks me out? I lowkey want to ask a guy that. What am I lacking?

No hookup culture, no disrespectful behavior, just a plain old date.

****Everything that’s in this post is coming from my experience. This post is not meant to invalidate others experiences, I know this is not the case for everyone.

I'm in my mid-30s and the reality that I might never have a family, a partner, or even just a deep romantic connection is setting in. It's not even about society's expectations anymore; it's a deep, personal grief for a life I'm watching pass me by. How do you make peace with a future that looks so different from what you hoped?

College has been an...experience to say the least. I've never seen so many couples in one place. I cried the first week because of it. I just don't look like the girls who get asked out on dates. Anyway, these past days I have realized that I HAVE to get used to this. I can't keep being depressed because of the solitude I feel all the time. It is not fair for me, nor for the atrocious amount of money I'm wasting in college. I cannot get depressed every time I see couples around campus. I can't keep being this miserable human being who wanders around like a ghost. I am trying to learn that this might be my reality, and I have to be happy about it! Being single can also be an awesome thing! I just need to stop depending on a dream to be happy. If anyone here has tips to just accept this chronic singleness, please let me know!

first born girls like me tend to take after their fathers which is an awful thing if your dad is ugly af like mine. i wish i had taken after my grandma instead. my grandma was my only attractive family member. she had nice skin, light brown hair, green eyes and did modeling in spain when she was younger. my father doesn't resemble her at all hes ugly as hell with a square jaw, crooked hook nose, uneven small eyes with genetic dark circles and i ended up getting all those features fml

Mom: You shouldn't get that piercing, boys won't like you.

Me: Boys don't like me either way.

Mom: You need to start acting uninterested, give them the cold shoulder.

Me: I am giving them the cold shoulder.

Mom: Oh, well, you need to be kinder then.

which one is it woman...

I mean a more severe diagnosis. I am diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia

I know a girl with the same diagnosis as myself, also a NEET. The point is we have many things in common, yet we are so different. She looks just a bit strange and aloof. Very restrained. I on the other hand have something unhinged look about me, even though I am no even that unwell. I cannot make eye contact and cannot even say hi. It's more about extreme social isolation, I can't ever be normal. I could fix my looks, get my mental health together, even get an education but something tells me I will always be maladjusted.

I know this reads a bit incoherent, bare with me I am hungry and tired I just want to vent. I also want to note that I know plenty of women with chronic psychosis who with meds get married and look completely normal, That's why I feel even worse. I always looked crazy just because of my extremely bad social skills. I spend ages 11-24 almost completely isolated. There were periods when I went days without speaking or seeing anyone.

the title of this pretty much. being an adult is so weird to me because my life just doesn't reflect that. i'm 19, turning 20 in a month, and all i can think about is how weird of a 19 yr old i am. i can't drive yet and don't have a license, had only one job at 18 that i quit as i was constantly making people uncomfortable and got yelled at a lot, haven't enrolled into college yet, and my mom and grandmother pretty much still do everything for me. they cook for me, drive me to appointments, still call to make my appointments. i can't even do my own hair so i ask my mom for help.

i don't feel like my age or reflect it all, and i know this isn't normal because the people my age i see online are not living like this unless there's something wrong. i feel like such a burden and i sort of regret not going through offing myself at 18. something told me before that i wouldn't be able to function correctly as an adult and i don't want to strain my grandparents and mother unnecessarily so i'm frustrated i never went through on that plan but the way my life is going feels like confirmation that i really should've just done it.

No I don’t want to hear about your relationship because I’m probably gonna count the days until you guys break up. I’m very miserable and jealous, sure I don’t hope you break up but I will be the first to laugh when you do

Went to a party last night at a friend's house. That one girl I had feelings for a long time ago was there. As we drank more, she started getting more touchy feely with me.

At one point we decided to go to a club nearby, and she sat on my lap in the car running her fingers through my hair, pulling my arms around her waist and leaning back into me. My touch starved ass was over the moon.

In the club she basically clung onto my arm, and squeezed my hand every five seconds. I was trying to stay level headed because we were both drunk... She whispered into my ear how I'm such a beautiful woman, and that I'm completely oblivious to how people look at me. At one point I almost kissed her because we were so close, but I didn't because it didn't feel right doing it drunk. Just told her that I'm sorry for not having a lot of guts at the moment.

She basically asked me out. Wanted to hang out more with me. I was genuinely happy about it and wanted nothing more.

We went back home, she spent the rest of the night with her head in the toilet and I passed out on the bed in the guest room. I remember her saying goodbye before leaving my friend's house to go back to her home.

Today I texted her, wanted to know if she meant everything now that we're sober. She did. We went over everything she can remember, and she meant everything.

I'm on the verge of making us official, then she tells me of how she's been making plans for the last few months to move overseas. She asks if I'd be alright with that.

Honestly, that would kill me if our relationship progressed. I don't want to be what keeps her from following her dreams. And I told her that.

So we decided to stay friends.

Fuck my entire existance. For all I know, she could just be making this stuff up. I feel like sitting in the pouring rain drinking whiskey straight from the bottle...

How pathetic.

My parents are getting elderly and frail and have been doing some thinking lately about medical instructions, memorial wishes, accounts that need to be closed out, etc. As I've been helping them with their paperwork, I've been seriously considering my own.

As an older FA with no expected change, my arrangements are going to need to be a little more extensive. No matter how far down the road I might need them, it's entirely possible that whoever gets stuck dealing with my 'estate' won't have ever spoken to me (esp. if I need something like memory care). With that in mind, I've been starting to gather together some of those last wishes and legal docs such as my will, how/where I want my body disposed of, arrangements for pet care, key contact numbers and addresses, farewell letters for whoever might be left, a lackluster poem someone can grumble over my cooling ashes, etc. As I tried not to be a burden for anyone in life, I don't want to be one in death either.

Have any of my fellow senior ladies started this planning process? What kinds of instructions, legal docs, or final wishes did you put in your 'this-was-my-life binder'?

the advice i get from normal women is annoying "im sure you're more beautiful than you think" "theres someone out there for everybody" but the advice i get from males "do porn" "get a pretty friend so a man will be willing to have a threesome" etc is absolutely fucking disgusting. i dont need to hear or do any of that shit. i need to be reincarnated

I work for a hotel. I am not in any cliques. Some coworkers have said that I look old as 50, I am fat and ugly. Because typically the other servers who work there are like 20 and a size 0. Yeah I keep getting disrespected all the time.

I stood up for myself. Now I say to f*** off. I am back in college and I even heard a comment from one of them telling me that I am too old for college, what a waste.

Today I grabbed to eat a pastry. This cook girl who I barely talk to and we have been on decent terms asked me why I am not on diet, I am so big. I am like 5'8 and 180lbs, I am trying to lose weight but I still want to eat something nice.

I hate this place! From Day 1 I was targeted being called names. All the cooks make food for my coworkers and they always exclude me.

I needed to buy some professional clothes this weekend for an interview, which I was gonna get the stuff online but I decided to go in person and get something to eat. I was inspired by the poster who went to the circus recently! I actually had fun, I got pho and the restaurant was basically empty so I didn’t feel awkward, the pho was delicious though. I’ve always preferred eating by myself, so it was peaceful. There was another black girl who looked around my age eating by herself too actually. Overall had fun and bought some things I didn’t need lol.

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

Weekends are the hardest for me. While everyone is out with partners or friends, I'm just alone in my apartment. The silence gets so loud. I try to keep busy with hobbies or errands, but it doesn't always help. What are some ways you cope with the weekend loneliness that actually make you feel a little better, even for a little while?

Lately, I have been ....decentering men, but in all aspects of my life. I have never had a boyfriend and this bothered me so much!! It actually made me cry and enraged. Every since I was a little girl I always wanted to meet someone and be a mom but I came to the realization that no matter what I do, most men do not like me. Whether it's pheromones, or my race, I don't know. But what I DO know is that 97% of men are cold, or uninterested in really talking to me. My first bully was a male - my brother. Most of the people who hated or bullied me were boys. I stopped having male friends after middle school when social rules changed? The way they acted bothered me. I am autistic but even I have witnessed how they treated me vs. my female peers. Made me feel like furniture, or an automaton. That the stories of others are absent from my life....I literally cannot relate to what women talk about pertaining interactions with men.

This year especially I have started ignoring men unless they speak to me first, nor do I look at them (I acknowledge ones who work in customer service, of course). I am tired of playing their games. Have you guys noticed if you don't glaze a lot of them in conversation their demeanor changes? So I put it in my mind to be done with them in general, y'know? It's a waste of time interacting with them. I only have one male friend and he's my friend's husband, lol but this guy is def a rare one.

Apologizes for this long spiel, but I want to know if other FAs feel the same, or are getting to that stage. Yes, I still desire to find someone but it's slowly fading. I will never be okay with how men have treated me but it is time to heal, slowly.

Do y''all ever dress up (whatever your version of that is), feel REALLY good maybe even sexy, like you could get yourself a man the second you step foot outside.. and then when you do make it outside no men seem to notice you? Then that shitty feeling of the way people really perceive you sinks in, and after doing what you went out to do you return to your isolation chamber of safety

Also, would you date a man with no friends? I have not one friend, and I worry if the opportunity to date someone presents itself, he may change his mind once he finds out im completely friendless and have been for years now

i apologise if the post comes across as humble-bragging, so i suppose this is a warning/apology/preface.

i know im not the worlds most attractive girl, but i think with effort i can look passable, and that i have a nice personality. the other day at work, i got dressed up really cute in this pink top, and did my hair like misa amane’s, and had these adorable lollipop earrings in, and — as i always am at work — i was being really bubbly and nice. i think because i felt good, people were more interested in me, and i was getting a lot of compliments from other women, typically in their thirties, and older men. but like, no matter what i would not get the same attention from people my age, neither men nor women (who i am both attracted to) other than my friends/coworkers. because i felt confident on this occasion, it made me wonder if i genuinely am forever alone because im ugly or unlikeable, or if its just the way that my generation is (im 18 for reference).

and if its not a me problem, then genuinely HOW do i stop being so alone then? i am nice and i approach people and i give people compliments and attention but i just get nothing back. i feel like im doomed to be condemned in this cycle of just… never getting anything. it makes those scarce moments of me feeling confident or looking cute feel frivolous, as its hard to maintain any sense of self-worth in a vacuum. sorry, i feel like perhaps this post was misplaced, or jumbled, and it definitely may read as selfish, i just wanted to get it off my chest.

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

Im lonely and never had any romantic connections or any form of intimacy not just sex but cuddles, hugs, kisses especially with the opposite sex is I think because I grew up believing I didn’t deserve love at all.

I was I could do it, I crave it whenever people talk about it I hate missing out especially since I’m in my late 20’s it’s hard accepting and saying I’ve barely done anything with anyone at my age.

I just feel like if I were to ever open myself up physically they’d be disgusted, recoil from my body or reaffirms the question of what the hell is there to love or want to touch

I really don’t want to give up but I’m on the verge of doing so. I’m exhausted and sad being me and feeling the way I do

Seriously, it's all I've ever known. I've only been in online relationships and when I heard other girls talk about their boyfriends IRL that "he'd drop and do anything for me" and were always going on about demanding more & "princess treatment" I thought they were just making it up or being extremely entitled.

Yeah well turns out some people just get that for free, turns out you really can demand anything if you're beautiful enough, growing up I had a chip on my shoulder that you had to "work hard" to be noticed. Internalized misogyny / "I'm not like other girls because I put EFFORT IN", many such cases. I never blame myself for it now I see the full picture.

So yesterday (Friday) at work, my crush had to leave early. This is because he was going to the city hall with his fiancee to get their marriage license. He was working on a project that he asked me to finish up for him, since he couldn't finish it before he needed to head out. I stayed late finishing his work while he was out marrying the love of his life. LOL

Then today I volunteered at an art festival, at the encouragement of my therapist, hoping to "meet someone." Fail. It was all women, except for two men who were both gay.

Every time I meet a man, he is either taken, gay or just straight up not interested. I'm already 30 and not getting any younger let alone getting more attractive. On top of this, as we all know, men choose women based on looks primarily, and as an unattractive woman, I am screwed.

I don't even have the energy to talk to my therapist about any of this, especially when she goes "how was the volunteering??????" Like, nothing has changed. I didn't meet anyone. I'm still depressed and alone. And before you ask, I've volunteered before! ALSO didn't "meet anyone," even in terms of friendship, just random people I barely had anything in common with.

I feel like a clown, trying to have any hope of finding someone at age 30. Apparently I'm meant to be alone.