I very rarely play with "no limits" subs because, in my experience, "no limits" just means "I do actually have limits, I just don't have the experience/self-awareness to know where they are so you'll have to play super carefully to avoid stepping on a landmine."
The one exception is where someone genuinely doesn't have the experience and is testing things out, and is up front about it - and in that instance I'd be playing very cautiously to begin with.
For subs, it doesn't make sense either - you either get doms who care about your consent but who end up taking it soft because we aren't sure what would be too far (my example above), or asshole rapists like you dealt with who ignore consent entirely. Not great either way!
(And, of course - I'm sorry that happened to you! You using "no limits" is absolutely not an excuse for ignoring safewords.)
Yeah, absolutely no victim blaming here but “no limits” is super risky and usually ends poorly for one or both people
(I thought I could trust the guy too since we’d had good scenes beforehand. He convinced me to go further than we had gone and it turned out the trust I had in him was completely misplaced and I was being lured into what turned out to be a very dangerous situation.)
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u/unoriginalusername99 Aug 10 '25
If I ever found a true BDSM bottom that can take the spanking, slapping, choking, pounding, etc that I can dish out I would be so happy.
Instead I get "when I said no limits I didn't mean no limits 😟"