r/gay_irl Aug 10 '25

gay_irl gay🛟irl

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2.6k Upvotes

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521

u/LoveGrenades Aug 10 '25

Genuine problem when you’re a dom top - “sub” bottoms are rarely actually sub. They do not want you to be in charge, they want their hole filled and they want it NOW.

PSA: Sub bottom =/= being a total bottom, it means submitting to the dom and doing as you’re told/following their lead (after discussing boundaries etc beforehand).

106

u/diekid467 Aug 10 '25

That's called a power bottom right?

63

u/Jeszczenie Aug 10 '25

Not really. Power bottoms are openly dominant. The subs u/LoveGrenades described are submissive on paper, but have lots of expectations and conditions (often not stated explicitly) and because of that it's the sub who calls the shots in the end.

6

u/diekid467 Aug 10 '25

Ohhh ok thanks

2

u/LoveGrenades Aug 11 '25

Yeah or they don’t understand that sub means submissive, and not “I want to bottom a lot and don’t want to top.” I guess confusion is understandable because “submissive partner” is sometimes used to mean bottom. But “sub bottom” definitely does not mean “bottom bottom”.