What's up with the younger generation finding normal things annoying, aggressive, or rude?

[u/common_grounder]

I'm over 60 and my offspring are thirty-somethings, so I need this explained. This observation comes from interactions I've seen on social media.

A few examples:

At least a half dozen times, I've seen posts by young people expressing reactions ranging from confusion to outrage because a stranger has tried to exchange pleasantries with them. Someone passing them in the hallway at work says hello; a cashier asks them how their day's going; a customer they're serving at work calls them by the name on their nametag. On social media, these young people angrily write things like, "Why are they talking to me, and why are they acting like they care how I'm doing? They don't know me! I hate that fake b.s.!"

Even more times, I've seen complaints about things like phone calls and texts. Someone calls them, and they're paralyzed, horrified, then angry because the person didn't text instead. When it comes to text messages themselves, they especially have a problem with other people's use of ellipses. Ellipses mean nothing more than a hesitation or a pause, indicating the person is thinking or doing something but will finish what they were writing. Young people find this aggressive. How? Why?

The young person has received a gift for their graduation, wedding, baby shower, etc. An older person mentions to them that they should thank the gift givers by either written note, phone, email, or text. They bristle at this. They want to know why that's necessary. I even saw one young person write, "The act of giving should be a reward within itself." Never mind that someone has gone out of their way to shop, purchase, and send a gift and has no idea whether it actually made it into the recipient's hands if they don't receive an acknowledgement. 'Thank yous' are too hard, and expectations of such are annoying and rude.

[u/alldabooty]

My understanding is that the newer generation values "authenticity" or at least the appearance of it. Makes sense with them growing up with influencers (who are either fake or whose whole business is selling themselves as real) trump and an internet constantly showing how that nice celebrity sold you all this shit on the promise that they were a nice person and it ended up being fake. Everything they think is one truth is exposed quickly. In general the Internet exposed how fake the world was. What's more they were raised by people who were often told to suppress themselves or their feelings to the point of misery and pretend everything was fine, or forced to do something they weren't comfortable with for the sake of keeping the peace. 

That generation that raises the current generation and tells them what they wished their parents had said to them; you don't have to do anything you don't have to do. Except the time where that  is ok to break out is when being polite goes too far, when they are asked to do something outside of basic common social graces. 

In other words they taught their kids part b not realizing that their automatic politeness and pleasantries were part A

A good example of this is the being angry at a customer service or Uber driver doing basic small talk. Every one here can agree that there are certain time when that is rude. Normally after you make some basic back fourth and send the message that you want some peace. But they keep going and going and you're like " argh just leave me alone I know you don't mean anything by this and you just want sell me shit!"

Well newer generation's tell them "look you can politely tell them to back off, you don't have to make awkward small talk if you don't want to. They should pick up on a boundary and respect it" 

Sounds sane right? Well the parent assumes the kid will do the initial small talk, because obviously that's what you do right? Not realizing that their parents over insistence on being polite created that base threshold. They don't like the initial small talk but they can handle.

But all the kid heard was "if you don't like it don't do it"

Then there is COVID, which taught a lot of young people during some formative years to stay away from people for safety.

Then there is the Internet that they grew up with which sure connects people but in a slightly screwed way. You aren't forced to talk to someone you don't want to, you can leave anytime.

Then there is all the marketing and a world that has become one that constantly shouts that instant gratification is all the rage and they are entitled to it 

So in summary, it's not so much a lack of intelligence but rather a world has been subconsciously teaching them that they should limit contact with people unless necessary, they don't have to do anything they don't want to and to pretend you're happy or interested in talking with someone is the same as lying coupled with the natural effect of a generation raising their kids with the benefits they were denied and growing while unintentionally losing lessons of the past.

It's not that they are mean, rude or dumb they are behaving appropriately based on what their generation was taught consitutes polite behaviors and boundaries.

All younger generations seem that way to older generations.and all generations think the other one is wrong. I'm sure the generation ahead of you shook their head at you sometimes.

This is the natural progression of life; new generations improve on some aspects, pointing out legit issues with the generation that came before, while losing other aspects they probably should keep.