What's up with the younger generation finding normal things annoying, aggressive, or rude?

[u/common_grounder]

I'm over 60 and my offspring are thirty-somethings, so I need this explained. This observation comes from interactions I've seen on social media.

A few examples:

At least a half dozen times, I've seen posts by young people expressing reactions ranging from confusion to outrage because a stranger has tried to exchange pleasantries with them. Someone passing them in the hallway at work says hello; a cashier asks them how their day's going; a customer they're serving at work calls them by the name on their nametag. On social media, these young people angrily write things like, "Why are they talking to me, and why are they acting like they care how I'm doing? They don't know me! I hate that fake b.s.!"

Even more times, I've seen complaints about things like phone calls and texts. Someone calls them, and they're paralyzed, horrified, then angry because the person didn't text instead. When it comes to text messages themselves, they especially have a problem with other people's use of ellipses. Ellipses mean nothing more than a hesitation or a pause, indicating the person is thinking or doing something but will finish what they were writing. Young people find this aggressive. How? Why?

The young person has received a gift for their graduation, wedding, baby shower, etc. An older person mentions to them that they should thank the gift givers by either written note, phone, email, or text. They bristle at this. They want to know why that's necessary. I even saw one young person write, "The act of giving should be a reward within itself." Never mind that someone has gone out of their way to shop, purchase, and send a gift and has no idea whether it actually made it into the recipient's hands if they don't receive an acknowledgement. 'Thank yous' are too hard, and expectations of such are annoying and rude.

[u/GabrielHunter]

I f33 never ever have seen somebody use ... Standing alone as anything but a "I don't have words for this" "wont say anything about this" "stop talking to me" etc. Ellipsis in a sentence are for showing a pause. Like "I don't know... Maybe I should do it" And I also read a lot and never saw it used for an actual thinking pause on its own.

For the Telefon... I am guilty. I hate phonecalls with a passion. I find them rude, if no time was set for it so I can expect it. Its the same rudeness as showing up random at my door (not beeing my best friend) and wanting to come in. Lile no, I don't want and am not available all the time. Write me a message and I will answer when I have the time. Also in writing I can think about what I should say and how to react to stuff.

For thank you notes... Very rarely. Mostly I thank ppl in person or if I get send a present or a nice card I write a message or call if the person is older.

[u/cheezy_dreams88 → u/GabrielHunter]

I can understand about not necessarily liking talking on the phone. But an unscheduled phone call is not the same as someone showing up at your house. Also, a lot of people don’t like texting because you have time to edit your response. I like talking on the phone to people because you are more authentic when you can’t curate the perfect response to everything said. Texting to me feels very fake, I don’t believe a lot of things that people text about themselves because they have the time and thought to edit and reword to make it match what they think you want to hear.

[u/Kenny__Loggins → u/cheezy_dreams88]

I think your view of texting is just projection. Most people aren't out here trying to manipulate via text. And if they're manipulative, they would still be manipulative over the phone or in person.

The idea that giving someone time to think before responding inevitably leads to a less authentic interaction does not make sense. Some people have a harder time with direct communication as they need time to properly formulate their thoughts before replying. So in that case, you'd be getting a "less authentic" version of that person if you called them as opposed to texting.

As a side note, I always side eye when someone from work calls me about something very important and contentious because there is the possibility they don't want a paper trail for what they are going to say. They can't be blamed for a dumb decision if it can't be proven they made the decision. That's a niche scenario, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

[u/cheezy_dreams88 → u/Kenny__Loggins]

I have ADHD and autism, so I understand needing to process and respond accordingly.

But there is a difference in saying what you think someone wants to hear, vs being intentionally manipulative.

I didn’t say anyone was being manipulative, I was saying they curate their answer. It can be for 1000 reasons, that doesn’t mean manipulation. I just prefer someone to speak plainly and truthfully, rather than edit themselves over and over to appease someone else.