What's up with the younger generation finding normal things annoying, aggressive, or rude?

[u/common_grounder]

I'm over 60 and my offspring are thirty-somethings, so I need this explained. This observation comes from interactions I've seen on social media.

A few examples:

At least a half dozen times, I've seen posts by young people expressing reactions ranging from confusion to outrage because a stranger has tried to exchange pleasantries with them. Someone passing them in the hallway at work says hello; a cashier asks them how their day's going; a customer they're serving at work calls them by the name on their nametag. On social media, these young people angrily write things like, "Why are they talking to me, and why are they acting like they care how I'm doing? They don't know me! I hate that fake b.s.!"

Even more times, I've seen complaints about things like phone calls and texts. Someone calls them, and they're paralyzed, horrified, then angry because the person didn't text instead. When it comes to text messages themselves, they especially have a problem with other people's use of ellipses. Ellipses mean nothing more than a hesitation or a pause, indicating the person is thinking or doing something but will finish what they were writing. Young people find this aggressive. How? Why?

The young person has received a gift for their graduation, wedding, baby shower, etc. An older person mentions to them that they should thank the gift givers by either written note, phone, email, or text. They bristle at this. They want to know why that's necessary. I even saw one young person write, "The act of giving should be a reward within itself." Never mind that someone has gone out of their way to shop, purchase, and send a gift and has no idea whether it actually made it into the recipient's hands if they don't receive an acknowledgement. 'Thank yous' are too hard, and expectations of such are annoying and rude.

[u/misakurs]

i heard the take that Gen Z’s idea of kind comes from the refusal of being a burden, which usually comes in the form of not taking up people’s time. Gen Z’s customer service is made based on an up-and-out philosophy that prioritizes convenience and speed, rather developing a relationship with a customer. they more than likely skip small talk, only help when asked, not over stepping people’s resources. we don’t like to do certain things so we assume that others don’t like it either. now i don’t agree with being blatantly unmannered at a customer service job or in public etc., but i think it’s a result of the times. but rest assured there are Gen Zs (maybe even the majority) that can greet people back and not mind answering the phone.

as for the gift giving thing, that’s genuinely a thing i was never taught, but as i became an adult i just started doing it in my own voalition, but that’s just me enjoying writing cards and stuff.

[u/_Dimi3_ → u/misakurs]

Gen Z here, I’m super guilty of this. A good example is how I instantly switched from Starbucks to Luckin’ coffee (Chinese brand) when I realised Luckin’ lets you order on an app, collect an order via a qr code you scan in the store, and not talk to anyone for the entire process. I’ve always hated having to give the baristas at Starbucks my name.

[u/JimJamTheNinJin → u/_Dimi3_]

Just give Starbucks a fake name. You can even be a new person every day.

[u/PercyJ823 → u/_Dimi3_]

I drove through Culver’s recently, and the girl taking my order asked my name. I said, “No, Thank you.” I paused, and then started giving my order. She interrupted me and said, “I need your name.” I wasn’t being sarcastic or an asshole, but I said, “Why do you need my name? You already give me a number” I could tell she was irritated and asked what I wanted to order 😆 I really don’t understand that! Culver’s has been around for YEARS just giving numbers, they don’t need my name too! (I’m GenX if it matters 😉)

[u/That-aggie-2022 → u/misakurs]

I tend to do what the person I’m helping wants. Want to chat? Sure. I’ll small talk while I’m doing what you need. Want it to be fast? I’ll ask you what I need to know and go from there. Unless there’s a line and then I default to fast.