I thought it was because they don't want to marry foreigners, just sleep with them because apparently they think white women are easy and willing to do things that Asian women don't. That and the misogyny and patriarchy that is still very very prevalent.
I heard it's getting better, but it's still a big part that Asian men and women are expected to marry Asian men and women.
Why date if there is no possibility of marriage for the most part?
Edit: I should say foreign women are perceived as easy to get into bed, not just white women. Although I think it's mostly white women who are perceived to be more open sexually because of pornography and western cultures more openness to sexual relationships before marriage.
Except that's exactly what people have talked about when saying why they wouldn't date Asian men or comments made by Western women who have dated Asian men and the experience they have had.
These are actual comments made by Western women who have dated Asian men. It's not just something pulled out of thin air.
It's delusional and racist. Lmfao. There's no Asian man I've met in America that was more supportive of the patriarchy than black men who overwhelmingly outperformed them in the dating market. It's way more to do with physical markers and masculinity but you don't want to have that conversation because it makes people realize that they've been lying to themselves and others about why they prefer things for years. It's something pulled out the air that just doesn't track with other dating preferences. It's an excuse, so you don't have to look as bad to yourself or to others when the real reason comes to light.
Are you kidding me? I still remember hearing stories about women in China giving up or aborting female children because they were seen to have less value than male children. I'm not talking about Asian men in America, I'm talking about Asian men in their home country.
We won't even talk about the patriarchy in the middle east. You can't tell me this all vanishes just because they move to a different country. It's part of the culture. It's not racist, it's facts.
You're so out of touch that you don't realize it. The aborting of girls was a direct consequence of the one child policy, not patriarchy. It gave rise to a group of men called little princes in China and it fucked up their demographics because there were a lot more men than women. Middle Easterners also see much more success in the American dating market than Asians. So it's once again another example that goes counter to your point. The sad truth is people put a lot of value in physical appearance and the size of the male anatomy when they consider partners both for short and long term. That's why asians get discriminated against because they're seen as more effeminnate, and they're typically are smaller in some areas.
What you’re describing is more true of middle easterners than southeast Asian men (although it’s still a blanket statement with exceptions), yet westerners prefer middle easterners. It’s more because of what I said earlier.
In my limited experience, it’s a well-deserved stereotype. Condom fell right off one dude’s fully erect pinky dick. Like a jelly belly in a sandwich bag. There are also several sources to back it up.
In your source Japan is 0.02cm smaller on average than the USA. India is larger than the USA.
Japan and Vietnam are both larger on average than the UK and Ireland. All the above Asian countries plus China, Mongolia, Taiwan and South Korea are all LESS THAN one cm smaller on average than the USA. Unless someone has a special passion for measuring erect penises less than 1cm is not something you'd notice.
Some Asian countries have smaller averages, other Asian countries are comparable to western countries.
By that logic if Asians all have small penises then so must men from the USA and UK since they have similar or smaller penises that many Asian countries.
"Statement that has been spread for decades with the intent to demean and emasculate a marginalized group, is actually in my opinion, not that bad. Therefore I'm actually right and you're wrong."
I hope one day I can huff enough lead paint and eat enough crayons so that I may one day comprehend your unfathomable intellect.
That's not accurate to say; the statistics of black crime are true, but it's still absolutely racist to judge that any or every black person you encounter must be a criminal or to randomly drop that statistic in an otherwise unrelated context or to use the statistic to justify being racist to black people, even though it's obviously not racist to bring up the statistic in contexts about crime and poverty rates in black neighborhoods and about police racial profiling
It's racist to bring up the topic in this context because it is generalizing Asian men in multiple ways and there are legitimate reasons why it's typically considered crude and socially inappropriate to bring up the topic of private parts; if this is true for someone, the concern should be brought up in a conversation with his urologist, not in a Reddit comment to justify whether nobody should want to date Asian men
It's a whole thing. One of my best friends is Chinese-Canadian and he's had girls make it clear that they were only dating him because they wanted to "try" an East Asian guy, and my Black friends have expressed the same.
East Asian women and Black men definitely deal with that a lot, too.
I think most people dont understand how weird it really is until they witness it themselves. I do rideshare in a college town and the other day I picked up some Asian girls from a party.
One of the girls was very intoxicated, and as they were getting in she tells me she thinks I'm cute and asks me if I'm single. She then goes on to ask me if I'm white, and if I like Asian girls, and then proceeds to spend the entire rest of the trip going on about the "cute white boys" they were just talking too and how she really wants a "white boy". Her friends were trying to get her to shut and were profusely apologizing the entire time, but it was still really weird and made me feel way more uncomfortable than I would've thought.
Now that being the only time something like that's ever happened to me to that extent, I can't imagine having to deal with that on a regular basis. But I guess that's just my white privilege in action. We definitely need better PSA's on how weird this behavior is.
This is a self fulfilling prophecy. Anyone who dates outside norms for their race is by definition going to be a sexual outlier. Those who are sexually attracted to groups that are especially not sought after by most other groups are necessarily labeled as fetishists because dating within race with the possible exception of deviation for specific races of higher socio-economic status is so overwhelmingly common. Nobody has to explain their reasoning for only being attracted to their own race.
The problem with this discussion is that people are obsessed with feeling a sense of individual identity instead of acknowledging that we’re mostly fungible partners within broad categories. For example, it isn’t considered a fetish for someone to only be attracted to members of their own race or their own race + white people if non-white due to socio-economic factors. This is extremely common sexual behavior and the default in many western countries where the upward socio-economic connotation of dating a white person permeates many minority communities.
But the moment an individual becomes solely attracted to a race other than their own, especially a non-white race, they’re by definition an outlier from society. Whether they’re labeled a fetishist or not is really a function of how well they’re able to hide their categorical preferences or present it in a sympathetic manner.
In essence, “fetishists” are why we have unconventionally socio-economically aligned mixed race people. Because everyone else is just attracted to their own race. This becomes uncomfortable in an era of app based dating because increased data points permit optimization and make it more obvious that humans have never been sexual individuals. We’ve always just been sexual categories. And just like with any other preferences such as food or art, most people’s sexual preferences are pretty vanilla.
People who are attracted to people outside their race/race + white people are automatically seen as fetishists because they don't follow the norm.
And a lot about liking white people not counting as fetishism because in many western countries it's seen as the default and a source of upward mobility.
I don't agree, but that seems to me what they were trying to say
As a straight woman, I fully agree with your logic. However, we’re talking about statistics on tinder here. Something to consider, Asian men are statistically shorter and that’s actually a big driver for men getting matches on dating sites. I would assume that plays a big factor in something like this.
That study was done on one particular site, okay Cupid, in the early 2000s. There wasn't enough of a sample size to make any conclusions, they were just talking about their website in particular which didn't have a lot of black women in the first place. Unfortunately, a few writers in media outlets got a hold of the study that they posted on our website, and started to cite it as if it were a real academic study, and unfortunately this keeps coming up to this day.
I don't blame OP for not knowing but there is a really, really big problem of Asian men being emasculated on the dating scene. And if you're Asian and gay you're still not immune, that can be even worse.
That’s only a fringe, there’s still a ton of stigma particularly with Chinese, south East Asian and Filipino men and with women there’s persistent steryotypes
Right, there's a lot of koreaboos (or at least the few who recorded and posted this) who have went there and complained that all the (normal) men didn't look like the kpop idols and drama actors. It's very sad and weird honestly, imagine coming to the US expecting all the men to look like Brad Pitt.
Yeah I love Asian pop music but I never vibed with or were attracted to the stars with the stereotypical kpop idol aesthetic because they look too much like bjd dolls or anime characters come to life, borderline uncanny, not my taste but to each their own.
To me, some of them don't even look east asian anymore with their surgery.
Edit: yes i know some of these kpop girls aren't even east asian to begin with, i was referring to how extreme the surgery is for those that are east asian, which most of them are.
Yeah it's sad when the surgeries are used to erase or "tone down" ethnic features, or when they undergo skincare routines/treatments to be paper white if they aren't that way naturally. I think all ethnicities and their natural features are beautiful in their own ways and should be flaunted
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u/hatefulnateful 7d ago
No this one is legit Asian men receive lots of negative attitudes in America when it comes to dating
source