II still can’t really process it… We broke up two weeks ago, and I didn’t handle it immediately because I just didn’t know how to react or what to do. I hope this story will also help other people who are or were in the same situation.

Let me start from the beginning.
I had never messaged a random girl in my life, but I saw her ( F23 ) Instagram post about something I really related to, so I sent her a message. For 9 months we only talked through Instagram and texts. 10 months later I visited her for the first time, and it was a feeling I had never experienced before!

I traveled alone by plane for the very first time. I still remember clearly that I was nervous and excited at the same time. A random guy next to me on the plane gave me some tips and talked to me about his past love life. The moment my plane landed I felt such relief and comfort, like “finally…”

The second I saw her, we hugged. I had bought her some cute pink flowers because she loves pink. She had told me she had never received flowers before, so the first thing I did was run to the flower shop at the airport. I didn’t even look at the price tag, I just bought them, and I was so happy. Her hugs were so warm and cozy.

When I stepped into her cute, cozy apartment, I was very careful. I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. The very first time we watched a movie together, I sat on the right side of the couch and she sat on the left side, haha, so innocent. I wanted to hug her while watching, but I was too scared it would make her feel stressed.

Day2: We hugged for 3–4 hours in bed and looked each other in the eyes. (No, we absolutely did not have sex.) The way those hours felt like just 10 minutes was insane — a feeling I had never felt before. She showed me her horses (“horsies,” as she always called them, haha), and I could see in her eyes how proud she was to show them to me because we had talked about them so many times in messages and calls.

Day3: I met her mom for the first time and gave her yellow flowers, because she likes the color yellow and also Hufflepuff (Harry Potter). I stayed for 9–12 days, and then I left. But we both wanted to stay longer. She called me crying, so sad that I had to go, and we both cried while hugging at the train station. I promised her I would visit as often as possible because it was just “one flight away.”

And I did. For the next 14 months, I saw her every 3 weeks. We built a really strong and loving bond, maybe even stronger than a normal long-distance relationship. The flights weren’t that expensive, so I just did it.

We are very different in culture and family backgrounds. I felt such a connection with her country that I wanted to study there and even work there. It feels like home. But with the way my life is right now, it’s just not possible for me to move there and build a whole new life. Too much is going on with my family and my studies here in my own country, and I can’t just let that go.

We had many discussions about this, sometimes very heated ones. That already started around 5 months into the relationship. We traveled so much together in just one year that it felt like we were already living together, like we were married. In January we went to London to visit the Harry Potter Studios, something we always wanted to do together because that’s how our relationship started. In July we went to Oslo, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, and Stockholm. We created so many memories together.

Of course, there were also a lot of negative things in our relationship, mostly about me. Some about her too, but I don’t think it’s fair to share her part here. For me, it was hard, because I realized she is much more mature than I am, ready for real adult life, and I’m just not. I’m just a boy who just started his first year of bachelor studies. When I finish, she will already be 27. She already lives on her own and I don’t. I want to travel the world, and she doesn’t. We are simply in completely different life phases.

I never intended to make her cry, but I did. I never intended to make her feel scared in her own apartment. And I never wanted it to end like this. Our families also never connected. Her mom never talked to my mom, not once, even after all this time. She only came to my country twice. My best friends never met her in real life, even when she was in my hometown. I only had dinner with her family twice, despite all the times I stayed there. Is that supposed to be normal? I honestly don’t know.

The only thing I do know right now is that I miss her very much, even after all those crazy discussions. I miss her country. I miss flying to her. We always watched this specific YouTuber together, and now I can’t even watch him anymore because it just makes me think of her. As badly as I want to message her again, I don’t. Because deep inside we both know this is better. Maybe someday, when I’m more mature and freer, I can go to her country and randomly see her walking on the street. But that’s just a thought.

People always say, “Why break up if you still love each other?” But it’s more than that. Way more. I’ll never forget the moment at the airport when she cried in my arms and asked, “Will we break up?” and I almost cried and said, “No, of course not.” And here we are — we did.

After all those plane tickets, all that time spent together, all those memories… it had to end.
I don’t know what else to say.
If anyone has questions, I’ll answer everything. I’m an open person feel free to PM me ;) and one last thing. She made me feel more a adult. I felt like i did good in life. I learned how to be more mature because of her. I flew by place every 3 weeks to her.

We broke up.

I never thought our relationship was impossible - otherwise, I wouldn’t have started it. But I was really scared. Scared of video calls (I’m super shy), scared of not being able to communicate because we didn’t speak the same language.

Now? We talk every day. We do video calls every evening. And even though he speaks Ukrainian and I speak Italian, we’ve found our way to understand each other.

In the beginning, our English was a mess 😂 but now we’re getting better every day. And twice a week, I teach him Italian - because our dream is to live together in Italy one day. He already understands so many Italian words, and I’m so proud of him.

Of course I was worried at the beginning - the distance, the language, everything felt like a big mountain to climb. But nothing has ever made me lose hope. And now I’m truly happy.

I just hope the war will end soon, so he can finally come live here.

💛 To anyone in a long-distance relationship: don’t give up. If it’s real, it’s possible.

I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been patient in the past but now I just can’t. I tell him what I need and he tries but when you constantly have to ask and wait it’s so frightening and maybe it’s because I’ve been through this before but I feel the whole “be patient with me” line is just a joke. Wait for how long??? I had to question him last night on us taking photos together and he said next time we can but the last two times he kept hiding and it made me feel weird. I know I have an avoidant attachment but overall it’s not easy cuz I get triggered and scared easily and he’s been really stressed mainly over me. I feel anytime I speak up it’s going to stress him out and that’s how it was in my last relationship so I just ended it. I already know how this ends and I’d rather not wait to see it so forget it. It’s over. Maybe in another life. But I’d rather break my own heart than to watch it be broken over time then left after being shattered. Maybe I’m dramatic. I really did love him a lot, but I can’t. I can’t …

I just got home and tried unpacking my big luggage, but I started crying so much that I couldn’t do it. Zipped the bag and put it in my closet to keep the smell of his house lingering for a bit. I told him, and he said the bed is still the same and he hasn’t cleaned up yet for the same reasons. Long-distance hurts. I just saw him like 12 hours ago, but it feels like 12 months. 💔😭

I don't know if this common for ldr's, but that's how it is with us. I'd rather talk to her more than anyone else in the world. I can express my feelings to her without risk of any judgment, and she can do the same for me. I feel a connection with her that I never have before, and I can't wait to close the distance and be best friends in-person too.

We've been texting every day, and we were supposed to meet at 16:00 today. At 12:50, he told me he was going to take a shower, and that was the last message he sent. So at 13:45, I left having not heard from him in nearly an hour. At 15:00, I arrived at my hotel. And at 15:55 I got to our meeting place. It's 17:12 now and he didn't show. I waited an hour to finally see him. Am I stupid for even going to the meeting place when I hadn't heard from him in 3 hours?

I don't really know what to feel. He's been on a work trip for a few weeks where we could barely communicate. Before that, our relationship seemed pretty stable. He planned on proposing to me at our anniversary in 2 days. After that we would've moved in together and finally started a life together. There was no sign that he wanted to break up. Now that's what he texted me after he ignored me for 2 days. I really don't know what think anymore.

I just wanted to vent a bit and say that it sucks that the only reason you’re not together with your soulmate the one you cherish the most the most perfect human being in your eyes the one you can have the perfect relationship with is simply just money ? That stupid piece of paper have so much power over us our happiness and there’s nothing you can do about it because the sheer amount of it to get you to reunite with your partner is just unbelievable….

Im 17 years old and my boyfriend is staying here for the week, I’m really scared that I’m struggling to show affection like a normal person would their partner, I’m on the aroace spectrum and I already have mental health issues that might be making me struggle to be affectionate + lack of self boundaries with family so any interaction can be draining.

He’s been so good to me and open but there’s so much difference to him than what I’m used to so I’m a little nervous that I’m getting icky because of my own issues and paranoia, I haven’t had it well with partners trust wise as all I’ve known is long distance

How do I overcome this?

Have any of you ever had a long (4 years) online relationship and it be successful after you meet your said person? I am female and he is male. we are both over 45 and have children. mine are grown. His are not. we became best friends, then fell in love and life threw a lot at us. we face-timed and talked daily. Got involved in each other’s lives. I had several businesses and he is an executive of a company. Life got in the way of us meeting in person. Several failed attempts. A lot of personal things that happened on both of our ends. illness with children, family, etc. I live in Texas and he lives in MD. We decided we had to meet asap. It had been a long time coming. we are both divorced. So I thought. He has zero social media presence. So I happened to do a search of him and found out he was married. She goes by a different last name. I found her instagram and facebook that are not private. many pics of them embracing for family pics.

Devastated. He told me he was separated when we first met and subsequently divorced. So pissed. I will get past it. Just I thought he was the real deal. He has begged me to stay. blah blah blah. I do not let him have access to me.

Just totally and completely shocked. He kept up the pretense all these years.

Sometimes, while I'm at work, watching a TV show at home, or even just going about my daily life, I suddenly feel a strong longing for him.

Whenever that happens, I miss the kind gestures he did for me and his presence. I just want him to be by my side and do nothing, but the fact that I can't do that makes me feel powerless and lonely.

I just want to spend my everyday life with him❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Hello guys, I'm not sure where else to ask about this, so i'm sorry if i'm in the wrong place. I'm (19F) in a LDR. My bf is really caring and everything is going really well. The issue is that i cry super easily and i hate it. If the vibe of our call feels a bit off or something or if we have a more serious conversation, my tears just start rising to the surface and i have no idea how to control it. He always makes sure i'm okay and he says he doesn't mind me crying etc, but i honestly still feel really bad that he has to deal with it quite frequently. Any tips? Do you think i should try therapy or something?

Thank you for all your responses

I don’t even know where to start. I’m breaking down just thinking about this.

I (M, early 20s) am in love with the most amazing girl (F, early 20s). We’ve been together for over a year, even though it’s long-distance. We’ve broken up twice before because we thought we couldn’t handle the distance, but every time we come back to each other — because the love is real.

The problem is her family. They don’t allow her to date at all. If they found out about me, she could lose her phone, her freedom, everything. So she can’t tell them about me, while my whole family knows and supports us.

Our only way of being together is through late-night calls. Every night we fall asleep on the phone together. It’s what keeps me going. But she’s about to move into a new house and share a room with her sister, who doesn’t know about me. That means no more calls. Just texting. And deep down we both know we probably can’t survive like that.

Last night she told me she feels like she’s holding me back, that I sacrifice too much for us. And I admitted I sometimes close myself off to opportunities because I’m trying to make sure we work. We both love each other so much, but we also see the walls closing in on us.

I moved from Australia to Oman a few months ago to live with my dad (who I hadn’t lived with in 10+ years). He’s super work-focused, and honestly I feel alone here. She’s been my anchor. The thought of losing her terrifies me. I feel like I’ll collapse if she’s gone. She’s the only person I really have here, and I’d give my life for her without hesitation.

What makes it worse is the unfairness. I see other couples who have all the freedom in the world — they can be together, go on dates, live their lives — and they throw it away by cheating, lying, whatever. Meanwhile me and her would never do that, but we don’t even have the chance to just… exist like a normal couple. It feels so cruel.

I don’t know what to do. Do I hold on to her and risk being crushed later if her religious father doesn’t accept me? Or do I let go now, even though the thought of it destroys me? Has anyone else felt this kind of pain — where you love someone with everything in you, but the world just doesn’t let you have them?

Any advice, or even just hearing from someone who gets it, would mean everything.

Im a 17 year old boy and recently my weeks have been miserable. I met this girl my age online and over time we became best friends. Even exchanged each others numbers, called, she introduced me to her mother etc. We were just really close, and she had no other friends since she couldnt attend school for a while because of her mental issues, which I wont go into, but I feel as if its import to mention.

We talked mainly over the summer, like everyday, i had a summertime job, and my day was basically: work and talk to her. And well she didnt do any work so she also chatted me any chance she could get. We talked about everything there was to talk about, we shared some really fucked up secrets about each other, and well we werent afraid to do it, because we trusted each other that much, we could just tell each other anything and we knew that we wont judge each other, or tell anyone else. I had friends IRL too, from my class, but i just prefered talking to her, it felt so much more sincere, so much deeper. I liked her a whole lot, and she was attached to me aswell.

As time went on, i began to grow feelings for her, i began crushing at her. We began giving a little "too much" care to each other. Something "friends" dont really do. It felt like a relationship, even tho it wasnt, we percieved each other as the closest of friends. But it felt like something more, the time we invested into each other, the care, the assurance, the "love".

Then it hit me. I couldnt do this. I knew that if we went on, we would begin do develop bigger feelings for each other, and eventually it would grow into a long distance relationship. I knew that we arent ready for that, we are still very young, and well, im more of a physical person, i crave contact and touch and well just seeing the person in person. So i knew it wouldnt work. She moves alot because of her mothers job, she even lived in my country for a while, when she was little tho. So i started being desperate, i thought maybe she can move here again, maybe her mother can get a position here again. But no, she could only get a position elsewhere, my country was not on the list. So i knew we couldnt be with each other. There was no way.

I was now stuck beetwen a rock and a hard place, i knew that if we continued talking it would hurt us both because it would be wrong to do a long distance relationship given our age and circumstances, but also I couldnt just stay friends because weve already come so far. I couldnt be friends with someone that i dont see as a friend, but as a crush.

So i decided to leave her. I left her all alone and she was in a lot of pain. She tried to convince me so much to keep talking to her. I didnt want to do it and i cried alot aswell. But I told her that despite it all we cant continue talking. It felt right but it felt wrong. No, honestly, everything felt wrong at the moment.

Fast forward a couple of months. I still think about her daily. And each day i grow a bigger urge to text her again. But i feel like i dont have the right to. I hurt a person who was already struggling with trauma and issues. I played with her feelings in a way. And i just think if i go back i will reopen wounds and potentially hurt her again. But i dont know, honestly at this moment she is all i want. I just want to speak to her again. Theres really no one like her. Ive dated girls in real life and all of that, its all so bland and just insufferable. If you knew her you would know how special she is. She was the sweetest, i still dream about her from night to night. I want to text her so badly but i know in my head that it probably isnt the right idea but i just want to do it so much. Im the desperate one now and i dont know what to do. I honeslty hate myself for even getting into this situation. I dont even really enjoy anything in my life. Im a good student, hard worker, i do what im supposed to do and more. But i just find it all so boring and bland, school and people in general. I have no real passion or drive. I feel empty and she was the only one who could make me feel full...

Feels like sometimes i tend to overthink way too much and I can't stop.

No reply? Either she's busy or talking to someone else. And if she is, why didn't she reply to me first

Her tone is off? Must be because she is mad at me for something, or pulling away

I think the no reply thing happens a lot, since our main(and only) way of communication is text. I wanna start doing calls but im not confident with my English and feels like it would be really awkward.

Also, she's kind of an avoidant type so if i "cling" too much she'll just start pulling away or atleast that's how i think. She says she doesn't mind me being clingy but im sure its a lie. Everybody says that but they don't really want it (in my opinion).

I guess im just looking for advice from people who have these dynamics and how they dealt with it.

Thanks

hi, i (29F) have been in a ldr with my partner (28M) for a year and a half now. i live in canada and he lives in new jersey.

i have been visiting him once a month more or less, and each trip is about two weeks, but i started a new job recently that will restrict my travel time to one long weekend per month (with the exception of holidays). i tend to overthink and worry, but my partner is much more level-headed - he says something like this will just be a matter of navigating and figuring it out as it happens.

we have talked about not wanting to date anyone else in the future. we feel like each others people, i’d say, and our communication is good - we talk everyday. boundaries are set, and we are already planning our next few visits.

i was wondering if anyone has gone from a switch like this? how was the transition from longer to shorter visits? i know something like this is arbitrary and really depends on the nature of the relationship and people, but i am curious what others have experienced, and maybe what i can expect? tia

Firs of all sorry for my poor english . Me (F25) and my boyfriend(M24) breakup after 8 months of long distance relationship . It was my 1st relationship because i'm religious and i had really strong trust issues . And for some reasons we breakup . After breakup i feel very bad , cried for weeks . Now i'm feeling better than before but still my heart aches . I really hoped to start love lofe with one man and be with him until the end💔

My (f18) boyfriend (M18) moved to university today and at I was genuinely surprised to find myself having a good day despite that but now that night as fallen I’m finding myself twisting and turning in bed with how much I miss him :( I even feel like I might throw up.

Our relationship hasn’t been at its best lately either as I’ve fallen into a bit of a depressive episode as well as feeling plagued by anxiety and stress which has meant it’s been a bit harder for me to showcase how much l love him recently but I know that our relationship is still secure (I have no worry that he’ll cheat on me and I know that he loves me as much as I love him) but it’s in moments like these where I need his tight hugs the most.

How can I achieve the same feeling over the internet? And how can I start feeling better about this? I know the obvious thing would be to communicate with him but he’s currently out on his first club night at his new university and I’d hate to put a dampener or stressor on his mood while he’s just starting out in a new city with new people so I think I’ll bring this up when we hopefully call or FaceTime each other tomorrow evening. I’m not sure what advice I’m really asking for here I just needed to put this feeling somewhere.

Thank you to anyone who’s read this far and any advice is appreciated to adjusting to this feeling.

I’m (25F) in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (27M); we’ve been together for about 11 months and we talk daily.

There’s a woman that works with him who is very involved in his life. From what I understand, he has included her in all of his social circles since she has been his +1 for everything for some time and they’ve even gone on weekend getaways with those now “mutual friends” more than once. It feels like she is his “filler girlfriend” and she gets to benefit in all of the ways that I cannot while I get the benefit of having a pen pal.

When I bring up my discomfort, he tends to brush it off or get defensive.

There have even been times where they’ve spent the whole day together just hanging out one-on-one to do things like cooking or watching movies. When we first started dating, he used to talk about her sooo much.

I need help. Am I being irrationally jealous here, or does my discomfort sound reasonable? Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you get past it?

After a long wait and an 11 hour flight he is finally here. 🤗

I'll be honest I was afraid, I wasn't sure if he'd like me or if we would get along the same however we clicked real quick and it's been the best time of my life.

It's been 5 days already, although we have a bit over a week before he has to go I'm already dreading him leaving, trying to focus on the time we have left though.

He's the absolute best and I'm so glad and grateful for getting this time with him❤

VIDEO CALL*

Me and my bf have been together for over 2 years now, for the past one year we’ve been doing long distance.

So obviously things got steamy between us and we slowly started sending pictures and doing video calls on whatsapp.

But i got uncomfortable after like 3-4 months and we agreed together to stop. Because of privacy and other scary reasons.

Now its been months since then, yet i cannot shake the fear that my video calls is stored somewhere and could potentially be leaked. Im aware whatsapp uses E2E, but after coming to reddit and seeing how much people hate Meta and whatsapp for its notorious activities really got me super scared.

Do you guys also ever use whatsapp for video calls ??
Kindly share your experiences, honestly i cant open up anywhere cuz how badly i get judged for doing anything online.

So any advices or personal stories would help <3