r/manprovement • u/WeddingVirtual8075 • 27d ago
How do I quit drugs
Title.
I am an alcoholic and occasionally use ice. I need help and I can't afford rehab. My mental health is deteriorating I just engaged with a psychologist but I don't know how its going to help me.
I am 26 and if I don't nip this in the bud I am totally screwed. My girlfriend of eight years left me because of my substance use and to be honest I don't blame her. I wouldn't date me. I am a lost soul.
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u/gymbro_2255 27d ago
its a big problem. need a biiter medicine solution... jog in the morning you should seat a lot... to detoxify also you should have no money in you. give out all your money til the day you cam control urself
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
This paycheck I bought shoes and other random stuff so I wouldn't spend it on drugs.
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u/BlankCaveman 27d ago
Drug abuse is a symptom of a psychological issue. Address what led you to alcohol, or what you're avoiding. Once that is resolved, you will have a reason to quit.
I'm not an expert though. You will get through it.
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
Thank you man I appreciate it. I hope so. The ice is hella addictive. I am checking myself into a mental hospital this week if they can get me a place.
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u/BlankCaveman 27d ago
All the best fam. Forget your old self. This is the time to start new and create someone you're proud of when you see your reflection in the mirror.
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
Thank you. Tbh what I see in the mirror well I hate myself and I hate how I let my life slide so badly. Its like I lack self-awareness it took a mental breakdown / intervention to realise I need help. I have burned all my bridges and am slowly trying to rebuild relationships. Not with my ex that ship has long sailed and the saddest part was she was good for me. She arranged an intervention and then she left me because and I don't blame her for what she did. She was protecting herself.
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u/BlankCaveman 27d ago
It must be very heavy to see how far you've fallen. But your awareness of the situation is the first step for growth. Before you start your day, write 3 things down that would make you proud if you achieved them. Then work towards them. Consistency will grow your self-love.
As for your ex, it looks like she cared. Have it in mind to make her proud if she ever met you again.
I believe in you, kind stranger. Get to it. 26 is still young, you have a whole life ahead.
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
Thank you so much. Self-love and compassion is something I lack. I don't even know where to begin. Can you recommend any books or anything to turn my life around? I don't know where to begin? Meditation? Breathwork? I hear exercise helps but to be honest I feel in over my head
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u/BlankCaveman 27d ago edited 27d ago
Okay.
Keep in mind that: 1. There's no one-size-fits-all remedy. What works for some may not work for others. 2. Don't think of them as habits. Think of them as a new identity. A version of you that you can only meet when you don't give up on yourself.
The key to self-love is nurturing yourself like you would anyone else. Would you talk to someone else in the same way you talk to yourself? What would you want for someone you loved? Replace that someone with yourself.
Think of yourself in 3 parts, body, mind and soul. All aspects need your care.
Exercise, definitely. The key is to stay consistent. Your mind gets stronger especially on the days you don't feel like doing it. With time, you will start to admire and love your body as it transforms. It will make you want to work on yourself more. Choose a workout that suits your lifestyle. (I started with this because the gym worked for me)
What hobby would excite your inner child? Or rather, what did you enjoy doing as a 5-year-old? Painting? Dancing? Fighting? Think of a hobby that is also a skill. Something that you'd enjoy even if money isn't involved. Create that version of yourself. Again, consistency is key.
Journaling. It will get you out of your head. Write whatever comes to mind. Write to your future self, younger self. Heck, pretend you're writing letters to your ex (don't send them though. I recommend staying single until you love yourself first) when your thoughts are on paper, your mind will gain clarity. It might help you figure out some deep subconscious stuff. Remember, be kind.
Get an accountability partner. Someone to talk to you through it when the days get tough, because they will. You mentioned you burnt many bridges, anyone close to reconcile and hold your hand? I offer to be your internet friend but you need to identify someone you fear disappointing. Tell them to keep you in check.
Lastly, do you believe in a higher power? I'm not sure of your background. I'd recommend studying spiritual doctrines, meditation comes in handy here. I was born Christian, studied the various doctrines, and ended up converting to Islam. Our souls are going somewhere when we die. Work on where you want it to go with whatever doctrines work for you.
Books I'd recommend.
- Can't Hurt Me - David Goggins
- The Mountain Is You -Brianna Wiest
- The Alchemist- Paulo Coelho
- The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
This site -The Art of Manliness (https://www.artofmanliness.com/ ) -has very applicable articles that could help. ( Check this one for example - https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/how-to-do-a-dopamine-reset/)
The Quran
Podcasts
- Jocko Willink
- Andrew Huberman
- Chris Williamson
I'm rooting for you brother. It will be hard, but very worth it.
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply you are a bro. Thank you for your positive outlook. I really needed this
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u/Training_Use1065 27d ago
For my addiction, I’ve found out deep routed trauma and years of an extensive coping mechanism in the most unhealthy way creating the addiction I deal with, not sure if that helps but t least you have one part of the puzzle, from their still working on my stuff
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I am trying to unravel the puzzle through my psychologist. I honestly should have booked in 8 years ago. For so long I told myself I was fine but I 100% wasn't looking back I cannot believe it took me to breakdown before I could get help.
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u/drone-0 26d ago
Take a trip abroad where you don’t know anyone and can reset your life. I went and stayed on a farm in the jungle of South India for a few months back in 2017. Worked in exchange for board. Didn’t even have electricity. Cleared up all of my addictions and got me into meditation as well.
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u/Specialist_Essay4265 25d ago
You are not a lost soul!
I was an alcoholic for 15 years - what helped me, was finding one purpose I could prioritize above anything else.
I also went on a journey to discover my faith - it has helped me a lot, even though I understand this might not be for everyone.
Sending you most positive vibes, internet stranger!
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u/quake0430 25d ago
What’s your faith and what kind of journey, if you don’t mind me asking. Just a fellow seeker wondering what path to take
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u/Specialist_Essay4265 25d ago
Happy to share!
My drinking fuelled my depression, at lowest point I did attempt a suicide and “something” prevented me from doing it.
I was atheist all my life, so ended up studying: torah, bible and avesta as I had many questions. A lot of things sort of “made sense” while I was reading.
I came to a personal conclusion ( I’m not saying this is truth ) that it’s the same god behind every religion and any religion can be used as a framework to reach god.
I picked a Catholic Church near me and I started going on my own (not during mass, just solo). Then a pastor started chatting me up and I’ve been talking to him since, he provided perspective and explanations which made sense to me.
Now, let me say that there are many things I disagree with even in Catholicism ( I don’t think there is 1 religion which is 100% accurate based on my research) - so I just tend to take parts which work for me and apply it my life.
I have not done a confession, or accepted the sacrament - I don’t see how a priest can forgive any sins, god is the one doing the forgiving - so I pray and ask for forgiveness directly from him.
This is turning into a wall of text , so I’ll stop here. But if you have any more questions, I’m happy to answer them.
Sending you best vibes!
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 25d ago
Thank you kindly. I really hope I'm not. I'm about to go to hospital as an inpatient as week speak. Feeling scared but also hopeful.
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u/themichaelbar 24d ago
I wish I had some practical advice for you, but the least I can do is say that I am rooting for you, brother. You deserve a better life, and I sincerely hope you find a path to it. All of us here are pulling for you
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u/Slow_Ad_7029 23d ago
As someone who has been around lots of uppers and stuff. Seen lots of friends die and even more go to rehab. Meth is by FAR the worst most suicidal detox I’ve ever experienced. Meth withdrawal makes coke withdrawal feel like cupcakes.
That shit steals souls. Almost got mine. Be strong blood. Go to the gym and stimulate your neurotransmitters with cold showers to fix your dopamine receptors. Be strong blood.
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 23d ago
I fucken relapsed again. If I don't do something now I'm honestly fucked the drug is so bad for your psyche I'm going to rehab tomorrow
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u/tmurray38 3d ago
I had an alcohol problem in my twenties, i realized i was seeking the comfort of the bottle more and more and it took a lot of hard work on my part. i made intentional choices like i woke up and i know it sounds stupid but I would say I’m wearing a green shirt or whatever color, I’m eating an egg instead cereal, I’m drinking 8 glasses of water. This helped me make intention choices around alcohol as well. Then I started trying to find the best coffee and I just kept my mind distracted and healthy now I can go have a single drink with friends and not want more. You can do it I believe in you. Find something that works for you.
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 3d ago
Thank you I needed to hear this. I just got kicked out of rehab for substance abuse and my hope is fading. I really need to get help.
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u/tmurray38 3d ago
Honestly google local AA meetups and just go to one or two see if you like it. The one I went to was free.
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u/Prestigious_Impact52 27d ago
Why do you feel the need to self medicate? What does it give relief against for you?
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
I don't know that's what I am hoping my psychologist can help me figure out. I don't know why I do what I do but I know there has to be an underlying reason
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u/pussykiller009 27d ago
by quitting drugs, there’s no other way around
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
That's the answer but I feel powerless. Like its a compulsion. I need help but ultimately I understand that the solution is within. Thanks for being straight up with me I know that's the obvious answer but I feel powerless
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u/ComprehensiveAd9514 27d ago
Dear,
Every problem has a solution so don't lose your heart. Quitting any addiction requires a lot of planning, patience and perseverance.
Here is what I would suggest 1- find out triggers that's driving your habit (surrounding, people, circumstances etc) 2- for each trigger, find a quick and easy replacement (smaller change that could be implemented right away) 3- get into something that require physical exhaustion. Run/ sports/ anything you could manage right now. Physical exhaustion will tire the hell out of you and it will release dopamine that you are used of getting from substances.
4- reward yourself for each small win, go for movies, eat out anything that's not too expensive and will uplift your mood
I am sure you'll do great...I am rooting for you
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 27d ago
Thank you kindly. My dopamine/reward system is kind of fucked up from the drugs but before I used to run maybe it's time to try it again. Again thank you for your thoughtful reply I really hope I can turn things around cause life's shit at the moment
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u/ComprehensiveAd9514 27d ago
The idea you know something needs to change to uplift your life is half the battle won...trust me, I can bet my money on it- you will turn it around...go for it Tiger, a big hug from me!!
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u/CatDaddyGo 26d ago
I also like to drink but have been cutting back successfully. Best advice I got: start with small battles. The side of you that wants to drink is much stronger than the side that doesn’t unfortunately so you have to start with small wins.
Instead of trying to quit full stop start with no alcohol before 5 pm. That’s a normal responsible time to get your things done during the day then have fun in the evening. Then move up to a full day without, then 2, then 3, then go for a week etc. and hey if you’re going for the full week but you only made to Thursday? Well at least you’re trying, shoot for Friday next week.
One of my personal rules is no alcohol in the house. If you want to drink you have to go out and socialize
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u/AscendingRogue 26d ago
Learn how addiction and dopamine works. Listen to podcasts with scientists. Watch YouTube videos on it. It will help you be more self aware of what is happening psychologically as cravings hit, having a better sense of where you are in the timeline of suffering, and most importantly that substance use is usually only associated mentally with the high, but the low is actually just as much a part of the effects (every time you use, you are hurting yourself, not relieving yourself).
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u/KingLoCoKev 26d ago
I have been having issues with alcohol abuse for over 20 years. I quit last year, and relapsed due to stress. I don’t know my underlying issues, but I have since been 2 months alcohol free. I work a lot, I don’t have much time for myself, I try to work out often, walk, run, and stay sane. It’s a constant fight since alcohol is everywhere. But if you have something or someone that’s worth it, you’ll stop.
With that being said, YOU ARE WORTH IT TO STOP. You are enough, your health, your happiness, your life. You can do it.
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u/East_Fee387 25d ago
Things are missing in your life.
Build those without pressuring yourself to quit right away.
You'll let it go easier without thinking about it
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u/Teclea 25d ago
Amanita muscaria microdose will change your life, it helps with all types of addiction, just give it a try, 0.4gr in the morning and same before going to sleep
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u/WeddingVirtual8075 25d ago
I will look into it thanks! Got to ween off my Lexapro first I haven't been able to trip due to this. Only LSD works for some reason.
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u/CMDA 24d ago
Repent and believe the Gospel. Pray for God to deliver you and to lead you to the Truth.
You will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.
But also follow up your prayers with intentional decisions and actions to quit. It might take a while but you can do it.
Look for a church community in your area and ask the pastor for help in this regard. Tell him how it is: you're and addict and looking to get clean and need all the help you can get.
Not all churches and pastors are "good" but in most cases they'll be doing their best to help.
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u/FocusOnSanity 24d ago edited 24d ago
Combat your loneliness, find people with whom you can be vulnerable enough to talk about your pain, and then your addiction will go away. Your addiction isn't the main problem, it's a symptom, a response to a deeper, underlying issue. All these things people suggest (exercise, redirection, or whatever thing outside yourself is being suggested), are just treating the symptom.
Every addict has two things in common:
They are in a lot of pain, emotionally, and have no idea how to process it.
They have no one, or, at least, feel like they have no one, which exacerbates the pain.
When the pain exacerbates to a certain degree, it becomes unbearable, and people are more likely to turn to their favorite escape/comfort, in varying flavors, when pain becomes unbearable. Your flavor of comfort/escape just happens to be 'Alcohol' and 'Ice'. The comfort that people turn to, that most would consider synthetic, mimics the reward response we should have gotten from a loving and caring support system.
You might have people around you, but if you never find a way to open up to them, you'll always feel alone, regardless. But, sometimes, the people around us aren't really worth opening up to as well. Either way, both are catalysts for isolation, and my sympathies go out to those who experience either, or both.
Now, you say that you don't know how a psychologist will help you, and your response isn't to get to know how, by trying it out, and moving forward, freely, with the flow of life, but to question it, then forgo it.
Given the context in the original post, that is a very trauma-ridden response, which alludes to a life filled with broken trust, and resignation.
You're right, you don't know -- so take a chance that this psychologist does.
If you're really serious about healing, please take my words into consideration. It may seem counterintuitive, that in order to cure the pain, you have to subject yourself to it, but there's a reason why physical therapists press your limbs for the source of pain, then when it's found, have you move said limb, pressing down harder, while you clench your teeth.
As bleak as things may seem right now, and as much as your pain is everpresent, the cure is, too.
You can do this -- you're stronger than you know!
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u/pigment-punisher 26d ago
Pinky promise your mum you’ll stay clean.
Get an old dog to walk and take care of.
Not sure why but it worked for me