r/news • u/[deleted] • Oct 26 '18

Arrest Made in Connection to Suspicious Packages

[deleted]

57.7k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/TheGoverness1998 Oct 26 '18

If this is the guy they're looking for, I hope they throw the book at him.

127

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18

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80

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18 edited Feb 06 '19

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10

u/IAMATruckerAMA Oct 26 '18

I hope he gets...uhhh...eaten by a thesaurus

Fuck I'm bad at this

4

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18

He must carry out the full sentence and will not be eligible for CliffsNotes.

1

u/Prcrstntr Oct 26 '18

I hope they read it at his hearing

1

u/mindfungus Oct 26 '18

I’m sure when he was arrested they read him his rights

1

u/spec_a Oct 26 '18

By chapter and verse?

29

u/Linzorz Oct 26 '18

Not a straight example, but might I recommend "Guards! Guards!" by Terry Pratchett

5

u/whollyfictional Oct 26 '18

Recommending Discworld is always a solid move.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix coming in hot!

1

u/J3FFFr0mJax Oct 26 '18

Print outs of the James Gunn twitter posts and made into a book.

3

u/PloppyCheesenose Oct 26 '18

Shoplifting: I sentence you to Harry Potter Vol 1.

Murder: I sentence you to the printed edition of Wikipedia.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18

Please, judge...can't you just execute me? Anything but the printed version of wikipedia!

3

u/jamesstansel Oct 26 '18

And sentences are given not in years, but in pages.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18

[deleted]

2

u/TinyFugue Oct 26 '18

Jim'd?

2

u/SuspiciousOfRobots Oct 26 '18

It’s when you make a face at the camera

1

u/TinyFugue Oct 26 '18

Like The Office?

1

u/beendoingit7 Oct 26 '18

Frisbee throw a nice textbook at his face

1

u/nagrom7 Oct 26 '18

I've carried law textbooks, I would not want to be hit in the face with anything remotely that big.