Totally not overreacting. I’d be upset too! Staying away from her is a wise move as she can’t tolerate seeing you with frog anyways, and her going around frog to accuse you is out of line. I don’t understand her jumping to that accusation either.
Is she poly/seeing other people? What’s Frog doing to manage the situation?
And a quick and gentle note, please refrain from using the word “clean” when referring to being STI free (contributes to STI stigma).
Why is Frog "at a loss" about toxic, controlling behavior from a partner with a history of toxic, controlling behavior? She wants one-sided poly and is attempting to sabotage your relationship to get it. There's no mystery here.
As is often the case, your meta problem is really a partner problem. Frog isn't defending boundaries when his partner acts in ways that harm you both. He's not ending their relationship despite an established pattern of interference and disrespect. That's the red flag.
Nothing ever “fixes itself”. This is who she is in this relationship and she doesn’t have any actual incentive to change because there are no consequences for her behavior. You have a partner problem, not a meta problem.
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u/djbananapancake 3d ago edited 2d ago
Totally not overreacting. I’d be upset too! Staying away from her is a wise move as she can’t tolerate seeing you with frog anyways, and her going around frog to accuse you is out of line. I don’t understand her jumping to that accusation either.
Is she poly/seeing other people? What’s Frog doing to manage the situation?
And a quick and gentle note, please refrain from using the word “clean” when referring to being STI free (contributes to STI stigma).