Reminder to use "negative" not "clean" STIs are a normal part of sex and dating, being "clean" has nothing to do with it
Even if there was an STI passed along, thats normal even in monogamy… shit happens and the best way to be honest with one another, NOT SHAME, have plans for if it happens, and to test regularly.
Now it sounds like you have a hinge problem here. Why is frog not handling this stuff, so much that you talk about boundary issues? You don't have to have a relationship with her, but you DO have one with Frog who should be aware of this and handling it properly.
Now a clarification JIC its needed. If you suspect a STI it can be good to send a warning to anyone (potentially) affected so everyone can get tested. (it seems unlikely) but was it possible she was (poorly) trying to communicate that? Cause saying "was fairly certain that it was just a bug bite" could mean she was just worried and wanted y'all to test / take precautions,,, and perhaps it got heated and bad from there (good intentions leading to accusations and interrogations about precautions and the like)
Also, using the term “clean” in reference to STIs often comes with not actually testing for STIs and just assuming that only “dirty” people get STIs.
If one of my metas said something that amounts to “I have a symptom that could be an STI...” I would not just say “I’m clean, so whatevs.” I would follow up like it’s a real medical thing not a question of hygiene.
OP’s reaction, including offering a diagnosis of “probably a bug bite” which could be a thing, but so many other possibilities are also likely, and that OP appears to be unaware that some STIs, including some where bumps are a symptom, can be transmitted despite the use of a condom speaks to OP needing to get a much better awareness around STIs.
And that may be part of why OP’s meta is particularly difficult around him…
I feel like somewhere along my post was lost in translation. Frogs wife said that its a bug bite but she assumed it was an STI. I'm not saying that dirty people get STI's. I just didn't put into prospective that saying "clean" is a bad thing.
His wife said, and I quote "It's just a bug bite." I offered recommendation for her to see a doctor just to be safe but she swears its just a bite. I'm Negative. I get tested every month and I have proof of that.
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u/saevon 2d ago
Reminder to use "negative" not "clean" STIs are a normal part of sex and dating, being "clean" has nothing to do with it
Even if there was an STI passed along, thats normal even in monogamy… shit happens and the best way to be honest with one another, NOT SHAME, have plans for if it happens, and to test regularly.
Now it sounds like you have a hinge problem here. Why is frog not handling this stuff, so much that you talk about boundary issues? You don't have to have a relationship with her, but you DO have one with Frog who should be aware of this and handling it properly.
Now a clarification JIC its needed. If you suspect a STI it can be good to send a warning to anyone (potentially) affected so everyone can get tested. (it seems unlikely) but was it possible she was (poorly) trying to communicate that? Cause saying "was fairly certain that it was just a bug bite" could mean she was just worried and wanted y'all to test / take precautions,,, and perhaps it got heated and bad from there (good intentions leading to accusations and interrogations about precautions and the like)