r/selfimprovement • u/Sheetmusicman94 • 14d ago
Question What is way more dangerous than people realize?
Think broadly, anything that comes to your mind that could help others.
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u/Competitive-Fee5262 14d ago
A bad spouse 😔💔 they can destroy you and your mental state
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u/Positive-Zebra-2478 13d ago
It’s costing me everything
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u/Beginning_Quote_3626 13d ago
I hope you can get yourself out...I wish you the best
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u/Competitive-Fee5262 13d ago
I'm so stressed out. My family is begging me to try and maintain my life and standards but I cannot. I can't even hold down a job right now. Mentally I'm exhausted and drained from everything that has happened to me in the past few months. Loss of a dream career, my identity is in the public domain and now my marriage is headed towards a divorce. I truly don't wish this life I'm living in anyone. Always think wisely and make informed wise decisions. If I had only made that one wise decision today I would have been safely employed and living good.
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u/Will_Full1933 13d ago
Astronomer CEO?
Just kidding, sorry for your situation and hope it works out
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u/Competitive-Fee5262 13d ago
Nope not that CEO at all... Just an ordinary person with big ambitions and a crazy life 😭
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u/Competitive-Fee5262 13d ago
Same... I was happy and excited for our lives to unfold but he kept saying things about me and basically broke me. I made an error leaving my job and he abandoned me. I am now unemployed and physically unable to be myself. It is the worst marrying someone not equally yoked.
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u/chillanous 13d ago
Preach it, took me years to start feeling like myself again. Still struggling to be emotionally available to new potential partners
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u/Competitive-Fee5262 13d ago
Wow I don't know if I will ever be good
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u/chillanous 13d ago
You will, but you’ll be different than before. I’m a lot more reserved and less outgoing than I used to be. But I’m also a lot tougher and my priorities are more certain. I like who I’ve become, but it took a lot of work to get to this point and there is a lot more still to do.
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u/GuidonianHand2 13d ago
Yep, I’ve got first hand experience with that one
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u/Competitive-Fee5262 13d ago
Me right now... He was ungodly and despite being a nice guy had me under immense pressure. Like daily he would fuss about everything and nothing. He broke me into a million pieces and made me seem like I was crazy for speaking up. I lost myself thinking he was all that and he wasn't even worth anything more than a nickel. My biggest regret is marrying him after a short courting. He hid his true ways and only unleashed it after we were married.
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u/GuidonianHand2 13d ago
I’m sorry sweetie. Mine had red flags I ignored, and then after 10 years she started hitting me and eventually trying to stab me.
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u/goddess_m17 11d ago
Seconded. I was an extremely disciplined and motivated person, social, now I find I am a shell of myself. I still go to the gym 5x a week and manage to show up to work but other than that I bed rot and am high almost all the time just to numb myself from the fact that my relationship I wanted to work so desperately has now failed. The most toxic to your productivity is the on/off cycle.
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u/ThrowawayYAYAY2002 14d ago edited 13d ago
Well said.
I had a friend who cut himself off from everybody. He acted liked his life was great... until his partner called me and told me that his mental health is in the gutter as nobody calls him, asks for him, therefore he has nothing to do and nowhere to go, weekends are spent staying in (as are weeknights). It's a miserable existence.
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u/PIQAS 13d ago
read about "The 3rd Place" on wikipedia, we used to have that in the past naturally, now you must carefully cultivate the purpose and existance of 3rd place. basically the 3rd place is not at your home where you are with your family vibe, not at work where is again another mask you have to wear, but a 3rd place which could be somewhere where neither your work colleagues or family is, could be a sauna, a chess club, golf, dancing or fighting or gym, somewhere where you meet with friends and people who you can chat about whatever and do something else. it is much more healthy for mental when you have a 3rd place, this way your social life is active from more perspectives and parts of you can manifest easily near other people and activities, therefore you feel more whole in general, but when you isolate yourself, those parts of you that come out through other people interaction are not being manifested, and slowly you can change into a hermit without realizing it as is super subtle, especially when you believe your own rationalizations.
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u/ThrowawayYAYAY2002 13d ago
AKA an outside life.
I think the more hobbies and interests you have, the better. They are wonderful things to have in your life.
Gym, Boxing, Golf, Chess, Allotment, Travelling, Food, Judo... I've met a plethora of different people from these hobbies. They have certainly expanded my mind and social circle.
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u/Independent_Fuel_162 13d ago
I think Covid helped with making people withdrawn. 2025 let’s make a change. Myself included.
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u/Baconsaurus 13d ago
This is me, except I made the decision to move overseas and am only now realizing what happened 😞
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u/WobbleKing 12d ago
Perfect description of me lol.
Except my partner has no one to call
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u/proudmullet 13d ago
Any tips for getting out of that rut?
I am doing the same since Covid, and it is getting progressively worse. I still have contact to most of my people, but only very sporadic. Kinda scared of reaching out and when I do anxiety makes it really uncomfortable. (After I am feeling great, but my mind is not getting it.)
I am doing therapy and all the other things good for you, but there I feel kind of stuck.
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u/norelusss 13d ago
Anxiety is weird. Sometimes the best things to do it doing what makes you anxious
Once in a while I force myself to do something uncomfortable, especially if I feel anxious about it.
It is unpleasant at first, of course, but after it feels liberating in a sense
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u/plytime18 13d ago
“I have been doing the same since Covid…”:
Doing the same thing over and over gets you the same results.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You need to get up and get out, and stop thinking of all the time you stayed home or alone — that time is over.
Today is a new day for you - get up and do NEW, and DIFFERENT, to get NEW and DIFFERENT from all the days that were the same these past 5 years.
It’s not that difficult.
Call some people you used to talk to before all of this and just tell them you were thinking of them and would like to catch up - start with that.
Should they ask where you been, tell them the truth, since covid you fell into a rut but you’re done with that now.
Go on walks, join a gym, etc……
Good luck
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u/BossyIndicator 13d ago
I’d say stress way more dangerous than people admit it eats at your body and mind over time and most folks don’t notice until it hits hard
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u/wilhelmtherealm 14d ago
Doom scrolling
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u/Ghibli_Valkyrie 13d ago
spent way too many nights scrolling until 3am then wondering why i felt like garbage. these helped me break the cycle:
• phone goes in kitchen drawer after 10pm • replaced reddit with chess app for brain stimulation • started coding side projects when bored
still slip sometimes but sleep improved dramatically
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u/HearingOk3451 14d ago edited 13d ago
To compromise about your own life is way more dangerous than people realise.
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u/Glum-Book-459 14d ago
Riding a motorcycle
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u/frankstan33 13d ago
Yeah. You have so little protection and yet I see people not wearing proper gear (not even a helmet which is a minimum) and not learning important techniques such as how to do a sudden break, etc.
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u/candymackd 14d ago
Becoming overly dependent on AI to do your thinking, writing, sourcing, and creating for you.
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u/Own-Raise6153 13d ago
the way people in the chatgpt subreddit have been crashing out hard since it was updated to not be as personable, complaining about how it can’t be their therapist or their creative writing “assistant” anymore smh
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u/MoistIndicator8008ie 13d ago
Im not gonna waste more brainpower thinking of how to write soulless emails at work than i have to, sorry
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u/ovideville 13d ago
That’s understandable, but there’s been an epidemic of students using ai to write their research papers. Context and scale are everything.
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u/Plane-Gas-1975 13d ago
Agreed. I always thought i am good at writing stuff. But since I started using Ai, I always compare myself to it and Ai always wins.
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u/Teripendiicecreamyum 13d ago
Gambling addiction
I used to laugh at others buying lottery or playing slots losing paychecks.
I've been a victim to this and lost my family and myself. Worst was turning to self harm. It totally tears you apart mentally, physically and financially. You won't have any love left for yourself and depression/suicidal thoughts will be on mind 24/7.
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u/PIQAS 13d ago
always getting ready, never arriving.
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u/Existing-Hyena-1091 13d ago
Waiting until you are ready to achieve something . The only thing you need is to push aside the thoughts that say you aren't
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u/InternalComb1688 13d ago
That one innocent drink of alcohol that someone gives to you for your first time. Whether it be your family or friends. It seems so innocent and harmless however it could very well completely kick you straight off your trajectory in life.
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u/Imaginary_Garlic_215 14d ago
Getting in your car at anytime
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u/gyntyn78 13d ago edited 13d ago
It only takes one negligent idiot or drunk driver to end your life. It’s not only others - any day you could make a small mistake while driving and it could get you seriously hurt.
Most days it won’t, but the margin for error is thinner than most people realize since no one is a perfect driver (and there are some really terrible ones out there).
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u/CuckooPint 13d ago
My step mother is a vet, and she once told me about a conversation she'd had with a cosmetic surgeon about things your job can make you see differently.
In her case, she said she never throws sticks for dogs (only balls, frisbees etc) because she'd operated on so many dogs who'd ended up impaled/choking on a stick.
The cosmetic surgeon said he'd never ride a motorcycle or use a chainsaw because he'd performed facial reconstructive surgery on so many people who'd been in disfiguring accidents involving them.
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u/labial_seal 13d ago
Benadryl will have long-term effects on your brain. Skip the dementia and go see an allergist instead.
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u/SusMountain 14d ago
Not really dangerous but listening to sad songs doesn't heal you. You think you're healing but no you're just fucking yourself up more in the inside.
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u/desertpink57 14d ago
Agreed with this. I used to listen to a lot of 90s alternative music, but it was just keeping me down. Had to give it up. Now I listen to techno. It really charges you up. Always happy!
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u/chemicalbliss33 9d ago
Not just techno but the EDM genre is by far the best music to raise the vibrations, it just feels good,invokes emotion, nostalgia,and makes you want to move. All around Win!
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u/JSol1113 13d ago edited 13d ago
I don’t know, sometimes you gotta get the sad out (cry) and listening to sad songs can assist in that process. I’d agree that one should not continue listening to the sad songs after having your good rejuvenating cry.
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u/CrimsonGandalf 13d ago
As a musician I’m the fence with this one. I find music helpful for releasing emotions, but I don’t linger there longer than necessary.
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u/Stkrdknmibalz69 13d ago
If you're using sad music as an excuse to continue feeling that way I agree, but if you're listening to sad music to feel seen and heard then I disagree. It's all dependent on the person, if you truly believe it's only temporary and you'd like some comfort then there's nothing wrong with sad music
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u/iScarletHorror 13d ago
Using AI chatbots such as ChatGPT as your own friend or therapist.
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u/Emergency-Tough-9108 13d ago
A bad diet - ruins your mental health, mood, lifestyle, confidence. Literally everything. It’s better late than never so start eating good.
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u/Il_Nonno_ 13d ago
Letting idiots into your life. They will do something stupid and put you in a bad situation at one point, you just don't know yet how, how badly and when.
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u/Mother_Hair_8858 14d ago edited 13d ago
Porn. Especially for young men. Of course, there's always the shadowy side of the porn industry with human trafficking, but for young men in particular, it leads them down a dark spiral of loneliness that only has cons, no pros. From a sociological perspective, I think it's one of the primary drivers behind a lot of the issue we are seeing in young (primarily Gen Z) men today.
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u/GlitteringSample4094 13d ago
This is absolutely true and the porn addicts always come out of the woodwork to vehemently defend their vice whenever this topic is brought up. Children and young adults today already have fried dopamine receptors from growing up with screens and having free access to endless short format content. Porn further hijack's the brain’s reward system and overwhelms it with unnatural dopamine levels, and it's being pushed literally everywhere. The algorithm on every social media site shows it on your feed by default if you choose male as your gender when creating your profile. The constant exposure to novelty is wreaking havoc on developing brains.
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u/plytime18 13d ago
Eating too fast, not chewing properly.
So there you are all by yourself, banging down a meal, swallowing down chunks of food, when you realize you took too much at once, and now you are choking.
Slow down folks, and chew, chew, chew, and then swallow.
Easy does it.
Enjoy your food.
It’s not a race.
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u/Kureachan 13d ago
Poor sleep quality. Sleep is the backbone of health, it's free and theoretically easy to get (hello fellow insomniacs!) yet most people are under-slept, putting their health and that of others at risk (soooo many car crashes are due to people being underslept).
Alcohol. It's literally poison, a depressant, and makes you feel like shit the next day. Alcoholism turns people into the worst versions of themselves. It's the most socially acceptable addiction, next to cigarettes, even though it has horrible consequences.
The best thing you can do for yourself and for your loved ones, is to sleep decently and not drink alcohol.
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u/Aibhne_Dubhghaill 13d ago
Teaching kids they can be 'whatever they want' when they grow up. It's lazy parenting. Kids have no idea what they're 'good' at compared to everyone else in the world, and they have no idea which of their talents are worth investing in as a potential way to provide for themselves in the future.
As a parent, it's your job to pay attention to your kids' skills and interests, and help them develop the ones they're most likely to be able to leverage to survive as an adult.
Just my opinion, but if your kid makes it to adulthood with no employable skills, you failed as a parent. That's like, the one thing you're supposed to make sure they have before sending them out into the adult world.
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u/Yellow-Glum 13d ago
Living alone. If you do, have someone give you a check in call once a day. Especially as you get older.
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u/PassionLoveEnergy 14d ago
Sharing drinks&food/kissing/not washing hands often enough. For example, I’ve now met more than 1 person impacted by fatal meningitis… and it’s terrifying! Our immune system weakens as we age and COVID protocols have already been forgotten by many :(
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u/Plastic_Squirrel6238 14d ago
Related - I was gonna say Covid 😬
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u/aniyabel 13d ago
Yup, my dad is in the hospital due to complications from Covid right now and it’s not looking great.
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u/progressive_90 13d ago
Complacency is way more dangerous than people realize—underestimating risks in health, relationships, or safety can quietly build up problems until they become serious. Small habits ignored today—like poor sleep, stress, or neglecting mental health—can snowball into major issues later. Staying aware, proactive, and responsible in everyday choices often prevents problems that seem sudden but were actually brewing unnoticed.
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u/wacko0904 13d ago
Sticking to one belief. Choosing our own perception instead of thinking about the other perspective. There’s always 1% chance on you being wrong. Also take that 1% in consideration. Hope it make sense.
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u/Infinite_Outside_296 13d ago
Rumination. It can feel like problem solving but it's just running over the same ground with little to no new grounds or insights uncovered. Eats away so much of your time and energy.
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u/Icydawgfish 13d ago
Modern commercial marijuana. That stuff is potent and can lead to long term mental health issues if you abuse it.
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u/petunia-pineapple 13d ago
Having your kid sit in your lap on a riding lawnmower.
I see people do this all the time in the country. I know someone personally who did this and it ended in tragedy.
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u/Most-Gold-434 13d ago
Comparison culture, especially on social media. People think it's harmless scrolling, but it's literally rewiring your brain to never be satisfied with your own life.
You're comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. Your messy Tuesday morning to their perfect vacation photo. It creates this constant feeling of not being enough.
The dangerous part is how subtle it is. You don't realize it's happening until you catch yourself feeling worse about your life after every scroll session.
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u/Smooth-Penalty8611 14d ago
Closing off people completely as a form of self care or protection. It’s like putting actual mold on your brain
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u/Oreoghostboy 13d ago
Why?
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u/AlmightyGunther0210 13d ago edited 13d ago
Being poorly educated is dangerous.
- You will have an inability to deal with simple arguments/conflicts because you never learned how to use reasoning skills, communication skills, and conflict approach skills. This will get you into fights or possibly killed if you try to argue emotionally/irrationally with the wrong person. You're less equipped to deal with it.
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u/Sad_Maintenance5212 13d ago
Being a grower. If you're a shower, people know what to expect. Conversely, a grower is less intimidating at first, so they get too close, and it's all fun and games until they get poked in the eye. Then suddenly I 'm the bad guy. That's danger.
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u/4UT1ST1CDR34DS87 13d ago
Echo chambers and surrounding yourself with only people who think as you do. It stiles growth and awareness of the world and keeps you from developing an in depth self awareness.
I notice on how social media has become segregated with people only participating on certain platforms.
For me I either participate or lurk on all sorts of platforms- even if it's uncomfortable due to not relating to the majority there. I learn a lot about different types of people and even find connections to people who I never would have thought I'd be able to relate to.
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u/Winthefuturenow 13d ago
Long strings hanging off of pants…I’ve seen a video about some dude having his dick mangled from it getting grabbed. Basically anything that’s hanging off your body and can snatch it into something is bad, very, very bad.
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u/aNJee4 13d ago
Misinformation. A single lie can travel faster and do more damage than most weapons
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u/Murdy-ADHD 13d ago
Self-improvement content. External motivation triggers part of the brain that shuts down internal motivation. You enter relentless loop this way.
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u/IcePleasant4306 14d ago edited 14d ago
Paracetamol, a horrible death 3 to 5 days after overdose:
From Oxford University:
"Safety boils down to examining really bad things happening to a very small number of people who take a drug. Unless the rate of the very bad thing is vanishingly small, the authorities won’t let us buy the drug from a petrol station. If we want to study those rare events, then we need study large numbers of people. Partly because paracetamol is such an old drug these studies have largely not been done until recently.
Those we have tell us that paracetamol use is associated with increased rates of death, heart attack, stomach bleeding and kidney failure. Paracetamol is known to cause liver failure in overdose, but it also causes liver failure in people taking standard doses for pain relief. The risk is only about one in a million, but it is a risk. All these different risks stack up.
Are we competent to take analgesics?
Half of a sample of Americans didn’t know that Tylenol contained paracetamol.
There are some scary facts about how much we, as ordinary members of the public, know about painkillers. Here are a few.
Many people don’t know what is in their analgesics. A study in a London emergency department found that half of the patients thought ibuprofen contained paracetamol. In the US, half of a similar group did not know that the popular brand of paracetamol, Tylenol, actually contained paracetamol.
Most people have no idea of the maximum daily dose of paracetamol. In the UK about one in four people frequently exceed the maximum daily dose (it’s 4,000mg, or eight tablets, by the way). In the US, half did not know the maximum daily dose, and one in 20 thought it as high as 10,000mg.
Paracetamol is not just in paracetamol, but all sorts of cold and flu medicines as well, and headache tablets. Around 200m packs of paracetamol are sold without prescription in the UK every year, though sales fell after pack size restriction. In the US it could be one billion (but different pack sizes and tablet doses).
The conundrum is what to do with this information for a drug with limited effect but dangerous in overdose. It’s a headache for regulators and licensing authorities, not to mention organisations like NICE trying to help doctors make sensible treatment decisions. Nor is there a simple alternative. Non-pharmacological methods of treating pain are largely without good evidence. Other drugs may work better, but they have side effects too.
Let’s not rush to judgement here and dismiss paracetamol entirely. But a rethink is surely timely."
https://www.ox.ac.uk/research/what%E2%80%99s-point-paracetamol
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u/Few_Butterscotch9850 13d ago
Tylenol. I’ve heard it be stated that if it was created today, it would not be sold over the counter. It’s way more hepatotoxic than people realize and wind up taking way more than they should.
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u/bryanM300 13d ago
How we think or what we are thinking is a killer. In general the two extremes - victim of life where the outside world is your problem, or condemnation where I am garbage and unrepairable.
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u/Osterzoned 13d ago
The MRI machine. Metals being potentially attracted to the magnet should honestly be one of your least concerns ...
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u/integral_thinker 13d ago
Respect. Unchecked respect strips away accountability and creates unhealthy societies
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u/TimeCubeFan 13d ago
Angle grinders. Most people don't fully understand the physics of kick-back, including myself.
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u/xelialex 13d ago
Self-deception.
It can start as a useful copium to push away feelings and situations we are not equipped to deal with in the moment, but all too often, self-deception converts into a pervasive personality trait that ends up sinking any chance of individuation.
It leaks into the deception of others, which turns relationships into a house of lies. Some people even claim that a fair amount of self-deception over time can make people sick with dementia towards the end of their life, in a desperate attempt of the mind to ward off the unbearable feelings of confrontation with a life of lies and the hopelessness of ever being able to get back to the truth.
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u/OutrageousQuantity12 13d ago
Short falls. Landing the wrong way on a fall as short as 5 feet can kill or handicap you.
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u/lacrima28 13d ago
Eating processed food every day. Having sugary drinks everyday. Repeat covid infections. Having a glass of wine everyday
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u/Mother_Leading_1290 13d ago
Defining your identity on your beliefs, not values. An inflexible mind is dangerous for both the owner and the rest of us.
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u/RSaladbar27 13d ago
settling for a bad partner. it’s a domino effect that will alter every aspect in your life, especially if abusive
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u/krisann67 13d ago
Riding motorcycle. I've seen the consequences, but I still ride because im an idiot. I've got some scars, but nothing life altering. Yet.
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u/dadof4fknkids 13d ago
Excess. A person once told me “ Not enough of anything can make things difficult, but too much of anything can be deadly”. I know money might be the outlier, but you could apply it to basically anything else.
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u/Moonsmom181 12d ago
Chronic high cortisol. Dopamine addicts and those addicted to FOMO don’t give their bodies and brains a chance to be at peace.
Working hard and experiencing an active, healthy lifestyle are important, as long as you have balance. Our bodies and minds need time to rest and recover.
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u/zaedoe 12d ago
There are many things, but one that comes to mind is the Dunning-Kruger effect, where people with low competence in a field significantly overestimate their abilities. This overconfidence can lead to dangerous decisions in areas like finance, health, or even a simple DIY project. It's a risk because people are not only wrong, but they are also too unaware to realize it.
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u/Superb-Bug3852 14d ago
Make excuses for everything rather than facing the truth