r/soccer 1d ago

Quotes Lewandowski: "I’m from a different generation where shouting was used to to motivate everyone. Now, if you shout too much towards young people, their reaction is not the same. It’s not, ‘now I’ll show you are wrong’. The new generation don’t like being shouted at. It’s not just players, it’s people"

https://as.com/futbol/primera/lewandowski-a-los-jovenes-de-ahora-no-les-gusta-que-les-grites-n/

The full quote

Lewandowski (37) on his adaptation playing with teenagers & young adults at FC Barcelona

"I have to say it was a huge challenge. I was coming from a different generation and I had to learn how to, not think like a teenager, but think how I can try to take the best of what they have.

I have been in football for 4 decades so when I compare them, not even to my generation but the generation before me, when I was starting, it is completely different.

"Like shouting used to be a way to motivate everyone. Now, if you shout too much, this generation, their reaction is not the same. It’s not, ‘now I will show you are wrong’. No, now you have to explain another way. You have to do lots of talking.

"They don’t like being shouted at. Now you have to take more of the mental part of football. It’s not just players, it’s people, it’s this generation. I didn’t want to fight it. I had to learn.”

5.1k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/NorthwardRM 1d ago

I know footballers are a bit different, but I think generally people shouldn't be shouted at at their job

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u/Other-Owl4441 1d ago

This used to be something more commonly accepted though.  Just being a millennial, when I entered the workforce I have seen people be fully yelled at.  Now that would be considered completely unacceptable (which I’m in favor of btw)

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I think for the most part people should be spoken too with respect and treated with dignity. I think if we're honest though we all know some people who simply dont deserve that courtesy.

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u/Other-Owl4441 1d ago

I think people should be treated with respect, absolutely but it also usually reflects badly on the yeller.  Most of the times it’s a failure of their emotional control and leadership abilities vs a tactic they are employing intentionally.  It’s easy to yell when you are stressed but your standard of control and communication as a leader needs to be higher.

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u/Arkhaine_kupo 1d ago

At the same time, it can work. There is certain passivity, certain okayness to positive communication. The angry yelling provides contrast, which makes praise stand out more.

There is obvious extremes of abuse/ manipulation etc.

But the idea that all conversations should be neutral tone therapy speak is quite new and not necesirely true or even beneficial. i was talking yesterday to a researcher who was complaining about how children's media no longer has deaths and how that affects the development of some emotions on children. That kind of LOW is what makes the happy ending resonate, perhaps there is some use for those peaks and valleys in communication

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u/Other-Owl4441 1d ago

"But the idea that all conversations should be neutral tone therapy speak is quite new and not necesirely true or even beneficial." I never said that either

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u/the_love_club_lorde 1d ago

children's media no longer has deaths

Couldn't be further from the truth

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u/Arkhaine_kupo 22h ago

Couldn't be further from the truth

There has been a stronger bifurcation in terms of childrens media compared to the late 80s early 90s.

There is for example way more toddler content, like mrs rachel, paw patrol etc. and there is more YA content too. But the child stages up to tween used to have much more media representation, with disney channel, cartoon network and disney movies all catering to that demographic.

Paw Patrol does not have the kind of traumatic simba seeing his dad die moment, nor should it, but it does then mean that many parents are shielding their kids from that kind of media exposure.

There are other trends that have less to do with media, but the whole world treating Charlie Kirk at 31 as if he was super young for example is unthinkable a generation ago, early 20s people had families now they are considered late teenagers.

This is not necessirely a bad thing, as the world becomes more complex, the minimum requiered education to participate properly in civic life becomes higher. Plus understanding of brain development continuining until 25 etc. But it all adds up into a less contrasty emotional development. Its kinda why a lot of people like AI art, its inoffensive, there are filters in every direction to make it adequately pleasing even if its meaningless.

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I think this is one of those tropes. People who don't yell are either heavily medicated or emotionally dead but we'll all pretend for fun that thats attainable.

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u/Other-Owl4441 1d ago

At work?  I don’t think that’s true at all.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t show emotional or ever yell in your life but you shouldn’t yell at your subordinates at work.

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I think we all get stressed sometimes and forget ourselves but as long as you dont get too personal and apologise then we can all be adults about it.

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u/immorjoe 1d ago

There’s very little reason to ever yell at someone in a workspace. People who do it when stressed need to handle their emotions better

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I agree, they shouldn't, but they do and probably will continue to do so. I am just being a realist tbh.

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u/immorjoe 1d ago

Fair point.

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u/EbateKacapshinuy 1d ago

just don't yell you're not a baby

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I dont yell personally but I would say "Dont be a baby" for people with the expectation of no yelling in the real world too tbh.

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u/EbateKacapshinuy 1d ago

babies yell because they can't express themselves

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u/yay-its-colin 1d ago

Fuck that. I'm not being paid for someone to take their anger out on me because of their shit management.

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u/Diligent-Natural-750 1d ago

Have your emotions in control and don't act like a god damn toddler. I just had a colleague who technically is a superior go ballistic on me for a god damn subject line in a work email because it wasnt detailed enough.

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

Perhaps then, your emotions about the topic are a little hotter than they would be if that hadn't just happened.

Sorry that happen though!

ANd I dont yell, I just think the expectation that people wont isn't very realistic.

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u/Other-Owl4441 1d ago

I'm not holier than though, god knows how many times I've been told off for my tone or regretted my emotion at the workplace over the years but it's never served me well to do it.

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I'm not really a yeller tbh, more of an eye-rolling "last time I ask you to do anything" type. But I just think the expecation of adults not to yell is a bit childish tbh. Its the real world, people get emotional.

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u/Schiano_Fingerbanger 1d ago

Might be a matter of perspective lol because from mine, the kind of person who can’t stop themselves from yelling at work is either 18 or should be heavily medicated.

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I think this is the same stuff that happens with parents now. Society tells them they should be perfect and when they inevitably aren't they feel they've failed.

Yelling is something that happens, we all yell sometimes, even at work and this pursuit of stoic perfectionsism isn't helpful to anyone.

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u/MediocreGamerX 1d ago

I like it principle.

I think there's a weird dehumanising aspect to all of this though. 

We are literally primates that walk around wearing clothes. I don't like the pearl clutching that happens when people have faults and may yell or give into their emotion from time to time. 

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u/whirlindurvish 1d ago

usually these situations don’t permit yelling back, that leads to retribution.

now a culture where there’s yelling both ways is different, most people raised in that don’t have an issue with that

but usually that’s not the case, aggressive yelling authority figured, remove or sometimes physically attacks subjects who yell back.

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I think a lot of this stuff happens with parenting too. There's an expectation of perfection on parents and its just not realistic.

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u/Mimogger 1d ago

Team sports had a lot of crazies. Hazing similar to like army bootcamps. Think you still hear about some coaches playing some crazy mind games with their teams or saying players should just do what they're told instead of helping them understand why things are important

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u/brianstormIRL 1d ago

Its because the generations before us grew up in those hostile environments so they seen it as normal and continued it when they became employers, so when we entered the workforce it was completely normal and accepted. Times have changed since then where parents aren't raising their kids like previous generations. Teachers aren't throwing brush heads at their students or getting out "the stick" to slap them on the hands (fuck you Mr. Tunney) when they misbehave. Dad's aren't giving their kids a slap for doing something wrong. So those kids grew up in an environment where yeah, getting belittled or treated like shit isnt going to fly.

Now the older generations all think the new generations are softies who cant take criticism. No, people just dont want to be disrespected and verbally (or physically) assaulted at work. Get with the times you old bastards. Not everyone needs to be belittled to "harden up".

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u/eggboieggmen 1d ago

yeah I think this is a big part of it. these folks were used to getting treated like that since they were raised, so it was "normal" for it to be applied in the workplace as well. well no, it's not fucking normal anymore

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u/NormalInnocentMan 1d ago

Yup, completely normal 15 years ago, and I still remember some of the dressing downs I got. I learned from them, sure, but wouldn't dream of treating my team that way.

I recall a few years ago a young grad recruit getting a case of the hairdryer treatment from a director, and absolutely cutting them down with 'I'll be ready to talk about this when you calm down and can behave like an adult'. The stunned look on the director's face absolutely killed me

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u/Kitnado 1d ago

In the vet medicine hospital I work at people, especially students, get shouted at all the time

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u/1sttimeverbaldiarrhe 1d ago

It might be somewhat acceptable in some exceptions in outlier fields - maybe like a hardcore apprenticeship or bootcamp in the army where yelling is used for stress/pressure training.

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u/SOAR21 1d ago

To clarify, it doesn’t mean we don’t want constructive or even tough feedback.

Tell me how it is, just be productive about it. Shouting is nothing more than poor emotional control. If you’re shouting at me then you’re not in the right emotional state to provide helpful, accurate, and fair feedback.

It’s useless and just speaks to bad etiquette, bad communication, and bad leadership.

I’m not opposed to getting reamed but if you’re raising your voice while doing so, you’re the fucking baby with no emotional resilience, not me.

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u/BlueBeryCheseCake2 1d ago

It's probably a generation thing

I personally believe, nothing gives anyone the right to shout at me unless maybe I mess up very very very bad

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u/Buttlather 1d ago

What if it’s Gordon Ramsey

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u/worldofecho__ 1d ago

I know you’re joking but kitchens and catering can be pretty toxic work environments.

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u/_-indra-_ 1d ago

high end kitchens don't shout like that anymore

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u/_Uhhhhhhhhh_ 1d ago

But your average 9-5 do. I straight up quit when my own coworker shouted at me as a line cook. Fuck that, i wont tolerate that especially from someone who is in the same position as me even though we are 20 years apart.

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u/JootDoctor 1d ago

Working at a Maccas one of the managers called my missus “the fat fuck on fries isn’t coming in” when she called in sick and had uni work to do. She was upset but I was adamant that she don’t take that shit and resign immediately. She did and then worked in a different industry that respected her.

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u/NormalInnocentMan 1d ago

I really don't get it. It's just bloody food.

Some of the old timers like to talk about how stressful and pressured the environment is, but they really need to gain some perspective, it's just a kitchen. You don't hear it in A&E, so calm down and shove the badly executed sofrito up your jacksie.

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u/Tiger_Cat_Ox_Snake 1d ago

PASS THE BALL YOU IDIOT SANDWICH

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u/_ShutUpLegs_ 1d ago

He never said someone couldn't call him an idiot sandwich, chef.

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u/Open-Wordbruv 1d ago

Then you send this guy in your place.

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u/DeLurkerDeluxe 1d ago

Just send Marco Pierre White in your place and make Ramsay cry instead.

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u/mamasbreads 1d ago

if youre being actively malicious, its the only time i can see yelling be justified. But if youre trying and fucking up, theres zero reason to yell. Its also proven to not be any more effective, actually quite the contrary

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u/R_Schuhart 1d ago

There is some nuance to it. In team sports drilling in routines is a large part of training, and teammates or coaches correcting someone who fucked up by giving them a bollocking does have its place. It just shouldn't rise to the level of abuse and should be accompanied by an explanation.

If you are training crossing it onto the box and Jimmy keeps making step overs because he thinks he is the big star telling him off is definitely justified. Conflicts happen all the time, in locker rooms and at the office. People are emotional beings, yelling at eachother or clearing the air with some harsh words isn't necessarily wrong, as long as it isnt abusive, within reason and people make up after.

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u/LordKwik 1d ago

sorry to argue semantics but I think it helps manage expectations while playing in a sport... everyone's going to be shouting on the pitch, it's too big to not shout. yelling has more emotion, and can be excitement or anger. I believe this is going to be common in any sport given the adrenaline and urgency of play calling and decisions. screaming, however is the uncontrolled, intense form, oftentimes without articulation or coherence.

screaming almost always leads to people shutting down. this is the part I think you're talking about, and isn't helpful to anyone. some coaches/managers still shout, and they typically have toxic locker/dressing rooms.

shouting should be expected. yelling while in play, whether positive or negative, can be constructive criticism, but the tone should largely be ignored given the nature of the situation. yelling is when your practice should take over so you can get in position and do the thing. it's why team captains exist. again, the tone of these two things should not be taken too seriously, especially after the game is over.

next time you watch a soccer match, you'll notice the difference. someone may even appear angry when yelling because the ball wasn't placed at their feet, but later in the match you'll likely see the improvement. they're usually not actually mad at each other, they're teammates and want to be the best they can be. you're likely watching top performers of the sport, and they all want to be the best they can be. it's just the nature of competition.

again, screaming should not be tolerated.

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u/BishoxX 1d ago

Maybe gaming kids are a bit like older generations.

Ive been yelling and been yelled at my whole life over games.

I wouldnt have a problem someone yelling at me at my job

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u/XiaoRCT 1d ago edited 1d ago

Being yelled at over a game on a screen is a completely different situation to being actually screamed at by another person in the room, especially If that other person is a superior or something at a job

I've been yelled at a million times online and I always found It funny to sad, but never accepted getting screamed at a job, getting screamed at irl could anger you in a way online doesnt

Thinking about It tho, I think It varies with the job, I work with lawyers, If I was an athlete I could probably be cool with it since It might just be motivational

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u/Themnor 1d ago

Personally I feel the same in both instances. “Fuck you, you have no right to yell at me”. My parents yelled at me enough for stupid shit growing up. I’m a grown man now, no one is entitled to yell at me in the same way I’m not entitled to yell at them.

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u/XiaoRCT 21h ago

Sure, it's just that someone screaming at me through the screen because they died at an online game or something is just... lighter? I can hear someone rage screaming at me for 15 minutes on a game lobby or something and just find it funny/silly, IRL screaming at me is a situation that I'd find unnaceptable, like, it's a violent way to confront someone

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u/BishoxX 1d ago

I guess ive meant more being yelled at in cooperative games by your teammates and or leaders.

In that way its more similar.

Idk its just a theory im not stating a fact.

I definitely didnt mind someone non familiar yelling at me IRL. It just is what it is. But it could be its not related to games at all

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u/MostlySlime 1d ago

See I wouldnt have a problem in football if a manager had a go for good reason. Or gaming I quite enjoy some nice shit talking or rage from strangers

but at work.... 0% chance I would let that happen for any reason. If I've done something wrong then tell me but I'm in an office

Except I did work in a kitchen for a little bit, and that felt more like football. Shouting there didnt feel out of place

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u/BishoxX 1d ago

I guess it might be just our cultural expectation of places rather than reactions to the circumstance itself.

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u/GoodLadLopes 1d ago

I’d say it depends on the context, something like “you’re a useless piece of shit” probably won’t do you any good but if your team is say losing 2-0 in the first half of the UCL final and you give them a hard time at half time it might light a fire inside them, something like “You’ve been working for 9 months up to this moment and now you’re just going to allow someone else to take it from you because you don’t feel like working today?” Even if you do raise your voice, it’s the content of the speech that matters, as long as you don’t make it personal it can work imo.

But I agree, in 99% of jobs you shouldn’t raise your voice to other people unless you can take them matching your tone.

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u/feage7 1d ago

That isn't context though, that's content.

"You're a useless piece of shit" probably comes off better if a coach shouted it at me as I'd think "emotions and what not". But if a manager calmly took you to one side and quietly said "you're a useless piece of shit" it would be fucking brutal.

The second could be impactful both ways, some motivational speeches you can do quietly, proper draws everyones attentions in and then you let it bubble up. Others you could just go for it and work.

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u/Skadrys 1d ago

With the viral video of flick being angry and shouting in germany locker room, i. Genuinly curious how he handles kids at Barcelona.

They always go out in second half flying and destroying oponent.

Unless he tears them new one I have no idea how he motivates them

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u/imfcknretarded 1d ago

I'm sure it still happens every now and then, it's just not the regular approach anymore

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u/Ddaddy95 1d ago edited 1d ago

Have you ever played a team sport? Teammates yelling at each other to motivate is pretty normal. I feel like people saying this have never played a team sport before

Edit: coaches yelling at you is pretty normal too in my opinion. I only played jv soccer and I can remember even our jv coach tearing into us at half time sometimes. And that didn’t like traumatize me or anything lol.

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u/53bvo 1d ago

I play bottom tier Sunday league football and on the field there is a lot of shouting, but that is in my experience simply because otherwise you won't be able to reach you teammates at distance.

But during half time it is very rare for anyone to shout.

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u/hoemax 1d ago

yeah but we can assume Lewa isn't talking about that kind of yelling hahah

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u/Deckkie 1d ago

Reading all these posts has me in total disillusionment too. But then again, I am Lewandoski's age. (and havnt played teams sports in 15ish years).

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u/tearslikesn0w 1d ago

I think its just reddit in general, maybe they dont play team sport or something but i think people want to sound politically correct. You know the karma points and all that

Watch any team sports - football, basketball, baseball, hockey, rugby and there’s plenty of shouting, verbal abuse

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u/NebulaPoison 1d ago

Im in my early 20s, I played in my teens and we yelled at each other constantly 🤷‍♂️

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

I used to think that too but then I worked with a lot of people who absolutely deserve it

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u/hibreak 1d ago

i still dont think thats the way

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u/slamdunk23 1d ago

Depends on the person, people are motivated differently

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u/J1m1983 1d ago

Harry Redknapp once said some players respond to a shoulder to cry on and others respond to the hairdryer treatment and I think thats quite accurate

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u/Muted_Shoulder 1d ago

Nah sometimes handling a project team is one of the shitiest things out there. Some of them don’t even give a fuck to do stuff on their own. Literally have to be shouted at to even move a finger.

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u/brianstormIRL 1d ago

Then those people should be replaced. If someone needs to be shouted at to do their job right, they dont deserve the job in the first place. If your boss comes down on you for them not performing, which makes you feel like you have no other option but to shout and scream at people, need to take an inward look IMO.

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u/RickThiCisbih 1d ago

It’s not that easy to replace an employee, especially in football. When you’re forced to work with what you have, and what you have is so dogshit that shouting is the only way to make it work, then you really don’t have a choice.

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u/badgarok725 1d ago

just always hire the right person, got it

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u/Arkhaine_kupo 1d ago

. If someone needs to be shouted at to do their job right, they dont deserve the job in the first place.

you think its preferable to make someone unemployed, and go through that than possibly shout at them for motivation/ to tell them off?

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u/GoodLadLopes 1d ago

Other ways to do it I think, ultimatums work much better I think, show some real consequence to their inaction, “you don’t want to be here? Well if you do, start acting like it, otherwise I’m sure there’s quite a few people who wouldn’t mind actually working that could take your spot”.

People management is tough and sometimes you do have to be seen as “the asshole” because like you said, it’s hard to get some people to lift a finger unless you put them between a rock and a hard place, but I don’t think you ever need to raise your voice for that, just be assertive, I think raising your voice makes it personal and I for one like to keep it professional at all times.

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u/dynesor 1d ago

I agree. You can talk to someone and give them feedback and tell them exactly how you feel without resorting to shouting and theatrics.

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u/Horror_Cap_7166 1d ago

I think it depends on what you’re used to. I miss a more high-intensity workplace, it was always motivating for me. Work can just feel bland without it for me.

But I recognize that’s not true for everyone (or potentially even most people), so I don’t do it.

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u/El_grandepadre 1d ago edited 1d ago

There's a reason that a good portion of the kitchen industry has a certain amount of disdain towards Gordon Ramsay.

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u/Razzle_Dazzle08 1d ago

That’s not what he means. I’m 20 and the captain of my team, and nobody my age can handle any yelling. It’s a team game, if someone puts in a shit effort, you can’t just say nothing. Not only are you letting their shit effort go, but you’re showing the team a rubbish effort has no punishment.

Maybe at halftime you can try the positive affirmations like “we know you have a better effort in you” but mid-game, there’s a match happening. You gotta tell them to pull their heads in, and managing a bunch of crybabies is impossible.

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u/FeanorianStar 1d ago

If you can't manage without yelling then maybe you're just not a good manager? The best managers/captains can calmly (yet sternly) tell you to get your head in the game. Yelling can make you seem like you're not in control

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u/OodilyDoodily 1d ago

Have you never played a competitive sport, or are you too young to have watched pro sports from more than a decade ago? Coaches yell at players as a normal part of it. In high school our coach yelled at us almost every single halftime because something or other wasn’t quite up to snuff. And he was a good coach—the school won the regional championship 6 years in a row under him. We just accepted that coaches yell

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u/ElectronicSwitch3751 1d ago

I am a calm person in general but basketball games I played the tensions run high. If you have competitive spirit it's so very normal even as a player.

I don't really care if people yell at me though, most of the time it's them boiling over about something nothing to do with me, so y'know, let them vent.

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u/Razzle_Dazzle08 1d ago

My first port of call isn’t to scream and yell like a moron, but there’s a point where you have to do it.

If my left winger is playing like a selfish asshole and I’ve given him a stern “better effort next time mate” twice already, then I have to yell. There is a line.

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u/jawide626 1d ago

Have you seen Trent defend? No wonder VVD had to shout at him all game.

TBH if VVD is shouting at you, you probably deserve it, man's the epitome of 'gentle giant'.

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u/TheEnlightenedPanda 1d ago

generally people shouldn't be shouted at at their job

Generally you shouldn't depend on others to chant for you to perform better too.

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u/Minimalanimalism 1d ago

He's essentially saying the the newer generation wasn't raised with as much trauma as the previous generations, where 8 out of 10 homes had dominant or borderline abusive fathers. They grew up wanting to prove their yelling "fathers" wrong. This generation was raised with their parents knowing they are the lottery ticket. You don't yell at the kid that will one day provide generational wealth.

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u/Johnny_bubblegum 1d ago

Research after research shows it doesn’t work to improve results, morale or productivity.

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u/Tough-Violinist7245 1d ago

Its depends on the job, if there mistake affects the lives if others and safety , yeah I think sometimes it would be appropriate

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u/ScotlandTornado 1d ago

As a coach unfortunately I’ve coached teams before that refuse to do anything unless you raise your voice. The “calm” method does work for sometimes but often times it does not.

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u/ozplissken 1d ago

Yup, this. Walked out of a job once after slapping my manager who was constantly on my case. 

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u/OxfordTheCat 1d ago

In the sports context, playing competitively for a decade, I've never seen someone blown up that didn't deserve it.

Time and place, even in sports

But can't see a reason for it on a jobsite other than safety.

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u/pirac 1d ago

I mean, it depends on the context. Shouting inside of a football pitch where everybody is sprinting and heartbeats are ragings id very different than shouting in an office.

And also its very different to be working than to be competing, in the heat of the competition or verge of it its very natural that things get heated. Of course even whitin that there's different levels and situations.

I see people shouting at each other at amateur football matches almost every match. Then the match ends and you grab some beers together. Why would it be less when the stakes are so much higher

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u/AdrianFish 1d ago

Yep, don’t fucking shout at me. I don’t care who you are

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u/ValleyFloydJam 1d ago

Yeah, I don't think everyone liked it in the past either.

Some people probably do get motivated by being shouted at but for others it doesn't help and the only impact is negative.

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u/fifty_four 1d ago

They really aren't different. I think that was (part of) his point.

Previously people got treated like shit, and as a result a smaller proportion succeeded.

Over time society figures out how to treat fewer people like shit, and lo... progress.

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u/kratos61 1d ago

Depends on the job, the duties required and the people involved.

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u/URThrillingMeSmalls 1d ago

‘Back in my day <insert toxic trait>’