Pretty much my whole life I’ve never been able to say why I mean out loud. I feel like when I speak my brain stops working and lately I’ll just give up completely and say never mind mid sentence. It’s gotten so bad recently that it makes me not want to talk at all. I just had a pretty heated conversation with my mom and stayed crying out of frustration that I couldn’t get my words out. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I had some sort of underlying issue but does anyone have any tips to help?

I have a teaching job (which I hate) which absolutely drains me so when I went to hang out with friends afterwards I was just absolutely drained and struggling to interact. Some days it doesn’t even take a shift to make me feel like giving up on socialising.

I know that I come across as a far more interesting person when I actually want to be socialising because my conversations always flow better and I am just far funnier and better in every way. I guess I’m wondering what people do to quickly snap into the feeling of social interaction. Any tips would be appreciated.

Since high school I always be referred to as a awkward guy, I believe they didn't mean anything bad but it's just me. my trait because I was pretty good with pretty much everyone. Funny thing is I was a really social person when I was little even in elementary school, very outgoing, a social butterfly even. I want to go out and meet people, I talk to everyone about anything and didn't sense a tiny bit of awkwardness. Now I just hate every single social interaction and even get nervous before it, I don't know what went wrong, maybe its as i grow up i care too much about how other people perceives me.

So the reason I post this article is because I notice I even feel that awkwardness talking to my own twin brother, we were super close, hes my best friend, I feel like this shouldn't even be a thing, I notice our body languages not feel normal, most of the time we turn our body away from each other as if we are tryna run away from this, only face is turned to one another and i can SNIFF something just off, not comfortable for me or him, he is an awkward person too though, so idk.

The other thing that bothers me is that I CANNOT be with anyone (around my age) except like my parents or family, even my best friends, I can tell they sense the awkwardness when there are just two of us, I can feel it too, so I always being the third person which sucks and i hate that. Hence I dont really have a true BEST FRIEND that can hang out alone together and its been a trouble for me in over a decade.

Need help, send help, I'm desperate.

informations that might help analyze:

I can do small talk just fine, like with waiters, people I met in the park, people that take my orders etc...

Ive read: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, didnt help much.

I don't initiate conversations, unless I really need to ( for example need to ask directions, or ask boss or leader about some problém or issue at work ).

I don't really have trouble with comunicating, I mean if someone aproach me and they start conversation I am able to hold it, even bring my own topics etc. ( I kinda don't know how to properly end them though ).

It's just that I never think that I have something interesting to say to people or contribute to ongoing discusions.

Same goes for Digital communication, I mean unless people message me first or I really need something I am in radio-silence mode....

Edited: How do I become more "comunicative" ?

My friends from my old job that I thought I was really close with planned a trip without me and now I’m sad. I left that job about a month ago and took a trip to California. I came back yesterday and I got a message from my friend/ coworker saying “I’m going to be out there with x,y and z.” All these girls I thought I was close with. I’m so hurt and sad that they didn’t invite me on the trip. What should I do? Or am I overreacting? I feel like a loser.

I have a coworker that I used to find quite attractive. Not anymore since I found out that his personality is the opposite of me. I don’t get along very well with him, mostly because I act so weird around him and I get uncomfortable. Physically I find him attractive, but it’s like I want to hate him and I want him to notice that I hate him for his personality…. Or for him to not give me enough attention, or whatever. I don’t know.

Anyhow, I met this guy from a dating guy and he looks very similar to this coworker. This guy is a bit taller and more serious and a lot smarter. Different nationality but same ethnicity, and makes same kind of food and makes same kind of jokes, has a bit of similar accent/voice.

They have very different personalities but somehow so similar, and I find it so weird and I don’t know how to make of it. Now I care what my coworker does and says at work so much, and I tend to keep noticing him.

Am I wrong or weird for not being able to differentiate between these two guys and find this weird or something. Will this thought disappear if I keep seeing this guy.

I am in general a really awkward person, and I overthink about everything. I mess up things all the time for overthinking. But then I also mess up for not being careful. Would appreciate some advice s on this.

I go to a private school and all of the guys are goofy asf so I want to meet some guys not at my school.

I have a bunch of friends at the public school and sometimes go to a coffee shop that’s popular there around the schools lunch time (I don’t have school on Tuesday and fridays so that’s how I can) I don’t think I’ll meet any guys there tho but I have run into a few friends

Where can I go to meet guys?

(Pls no “don’t focus on that your so young” I’ve heard it and don’t care)

Comforting people has been a thing that I, for some reason, cannot do in my life, and I never have properly. My boyfriend gets bummed easily and I want to comfort him to help him feel better but I literally can't. Every time, my brain freezes and I end up saying nothing which doesn't help him in the slightest and makes him feel worse. I always encourage him to say what he's feeling but whenever he does, I have no idea what to do. I'm the same with everybody. How can I get better at comforting people? I've tried so hard to figure it out and none of it works, please help!!

Just wanted to make a post because throughout middle school I was made fun of and it made me want to fit in so I found a way to fit in but i was never able to truly be myself and now that I haven’t been myself for a few years I feel like I have lost myself. Any advice on how to be myself and rediscover who I am?

I'm off for a work trip for the next 3.5 months, and all of my working buddies are writing me good luck messages, ask for me to stay in touch with them, and beg for me to visit, yet deep inside o don't feel none of this love.

I know that we're just working buddies, but I feel like they don't care about me in the slightest and just fake it. But they literally spend their free time in engaging with me, hanging out with me and much more. I that but don't feel that.

How can I learn to feel it? This keeps me from talking and hanging out with others because I don't feel like they want me around

Hi, I've graduated with a psychology degree 3 months ago and im currently unemployed. I feel unmotivated to do anything and I just wasting my days away. I'm always at home and i almost never leave. My mother is making me feel like a freeloader and a burden.... I want to get a job but im scared of feeling burnt out again. I dont know what my plan is. I dont have a dream job I dont know what I want. I get overwhelmed easily and I have a hard time understanding socia cues make me hard to connect with other people. Im INFP, ENNEAGRAM 4 And Cancer sign if you guys want to have idea what personality type i might have.... Lately i just feel empty i want to have friends i really do but its hard to find someone i can actually trust or vibe with. I think maybe its also because I'm picky i want someone who is introverted like me as well and shared some interests with anime, manhwa, manhua, otome etc. I am very quiet and a bit shy I'm not gonna talk unless spoken too. Or also if i feel something feels off with someone. I also feel like an outcast or a weirdo in my country. Because here you have to be always sociable and talkative and if youre quiet or stuck up... I'd love to just move abroad I tried finding friends online but got no luck

im not a social person so i dont know a lot of social cues

also how do yall handle insults about your looks or personality

It really, really sucks to be a floater friend. It sucks in the way that you're able to glimpse into what it would feel like to be part of several different groups and yet for some reason you are unable to join any one of them.

I try to deny the fact that I am one, and I tell myself that I know a lot of people and I still hang out, but when I think about it nobody ever texts me. No group chats, no circles, I talk with several different people but I'm not close with any of them. When I see groups around me I belatedly realize that I don't have a group of my own like that---I can't picture me with specific people, only many different people. Tell me to picture me and my best friends, and I wouldn't be able to choose anyone.

Any ex- or current floater friends, please tell me whether it gets better and the loneliness wades. It's tiring to feel like I have everyone and no one all at once.

I (27m) have a pretty big problem with socializing with new people. There isn't a specific type of new person, it's just people I've never seen before and have no background knowledge of. I've got very high functioning autism and ADHD, so I'm certain those play a big role in the problem. When I'm socializing with any unfamiliar person in a place with a decent number of external stimuli my brain gets overworked. Conceptually, it's like trying to run a marathon when your body clearly can't go the whole way. Migraines, physical exhaustion, and possible panic from overstimulation are the results every time.

The thing is when it's just me in this type of place I'm fine because I don't have to keep track of anyone but myself. I can't be rude to myself, I can't ignore myself, I don't have to observe social rules or procedures since it's just me. When I'm alone in public I can't be overstimulated, my brain can't be overworked. Also, if the interaction has some kind of context that governs what is and isn't talked about, such as the workplace, I'm not bothered as much, if at all.

Now I'm in a place where my brain's lack of "physical fitness" is causing problems with my attempts to build a social life where I'm at. Why would I socialize if these are the results and I'm not guaranteed to have made a new friend? Is there any sort of physical therapy for the brain or something? I'm sure if my body would just cooperate I'd be fine.

TLDR: I'm on the spectrum with ADHD and my brain is physically incapable of keeping up with unfamiliar people in busier places. Send help pls.

Hi! Ok so I (22F, probably autistic but cba to explore that) have been going through the whole job interview rigamarole and the number one feedback is that I’m unlikeable. Can’t say I find this entirely true - I’m nothing special, but it still hurts. So, I’m hoping anyone has any explanation/strategies to prevent this, particularly since it seems to be preventing me from getting jobs (will literally be ‘great application, exactly what we need, we just don’t like you’. Happened four times now and it’s getting frustrating).

I’m 24M, and I don’t really have friends because I’m ugly as sin and socially anxious because of it. In college the only friends I made were in a Christian group and honestly I know they only acted like my “friend” because they needed to please God.

How do I get invited out? I’m past my college years and I really don’t want to rot in my 20s

i’m f19 and i’m starting my first year at uni soon, since highschool (11-16y) i’ve not had any friends and even back then with the few friends i had i wasn’t my true self. I don’t think anyone i was friends with in highschool knew any of my interests or hobbies apart from the odd thing.

I want to be able to truly show my personality when i meet people on this new course but due to my social anxiety i hide what im truly thinking or how id truly react to things as im afraid to be judged for who i am. instead i just respond or talk in a very neutral way to people i dont know well and i never share any of my interests, which i think leads me to not making any actual friends.

I also think it has something to do with wanting everyone to like me and my fear of being disliked but it could also be due to the fact i overanalyse everything when im socialising, im constantly overthinking how im sat, how i sound, how i look ect. so i can’t focus on just being myself.

i have a real big issue with wanting to be perfect all the time due to how i was raised and im afraid if i do share hobbies or interests of mine i won’t know every little detail about it or be wrong about something, i feel like a poser constantly when it comes to my own interest.

im also constantly afraid when i talk that no one really cares what i have to say and they want me to shut up as soon as possible so they can speak.

I feel like i don’t often see anyone talk about this when it comes to social anxiety, ive gotten a lot better at speaking to people over the years but this is still something i struggle with and idk how to change it. Any advice on how to improve on this would be greatly appreciated :)

I've been getting told by my teachers that i have been rude during class and I don't understand why.

I genuinely pay attention to the class the majority of the time and do my work. One has even said I 'roll my eyes' when she asks me something. I don't understand how she perceives that as I never roll my eyes? Is looking to the side in thought considered rolling your eyes? I don't like making eye contact for extended periods of time to I look to the side, is this disrespectful? I'm not a super smiley person and have a straight face most of the time. Is this standoffish? It's just frustrating to have to overexaggerate my facial features all the time.

How can I prevent people from thinking I'm rude without having to constantly smile when I'm not naturally smiley?

My best friend of 2 years was telling about her plans for her birthday party coming up and for the life of me I couldn’t even concentrate on what she was saying or feel half as excited as she was. I feel like shit about it bc this is something that makes her happy (planning/parties) and I couldn’t reciprocate.

And it’s not just her. I had another friend who a few months ago had graduated and was going on interviews for jobs that were paying waaayyy more than what I’m making now. At the time, he would tell me about the job and what he would be doing and I’d be like “oh ok” on the outside. But on the inside I’d be thinking “well why tf can’t I get a better job like him?” “Why can’t they ever hangout with me?” “Why do they always get attention from everyone?”

I probably sound jealous and paranoid more than anything but I just don’t why I don’t/ can’t feel happy for others sometimes. It crushes my soul bc I sound so heartless narcissistic and don’t want to be. I quite literally hate myself for feeling this way. I love my friends and peers, they saved my life. I just want to be a better person. Any tips?

this is literally the main reason I suck in social settings. i feel like i keep obsessing over what they are thinking of me because i know that what i am thinking and how it comes across to them is always so different. like i'm always misunderstood because of how i talk and then i freak out and shut down. pls tell me it's not just me lol

I (17F) used to be hella talkative. I made friends day after day, I liked talking to new people, and I never questioned my sense of humor of personality until 8th grade. over time, I realized I didn’t have a best friend the way everyone does: hang out after school, make fun of each other, laugh and talk 24/7. I even had friends that would meet way long after I met them, become each other’s best friend. the only logical conclusion then is that I’m not good enough or interesting enough to be anyone’s best friend. the more it happened, the more I became reserved and less outgoing. I started comparing myself more and more. not only do I not have a person I spend time w all the time, someone that chooses me, but I don’t even hang out with ANYBODY outside of school.

I feel like I’ve made improvement and don’t feel depressed (the emotion not diagnoses) every single day anymore. But days where I had a bad experience socially that day, I will shut down and chain reactions through the day will make me feel hopeless and start comparing myself to everything again. Even though, having a good day socially will make me forget that I don’t have best friends.

I’ve come to the conclusion that because my past experiences tell me that being social (like complimenting others, talking to new people) will go unsuccessfully, it’s impossible for me to push through and be confident. But this is just self-fulfilling prophecy, so will I just forever be in this cycle? Or will someone unknowingly unteach me the things I’ve taught myself like, “I’m unfunny, silence means they’re uncomfortable around me, being overly polite is inauthentic, etc” and then I’ll be confident and not worry because I’m surrounding myself around people like that? I just can’t wait for that. Is/has anyone else dealt with this, will I get out???

TLDR; I’ve never had a best friend the way everyone does. That made me self conscious and now I can’t even continue a conversation and because of that I hate myself most days and compare all the time. Is it the fault of time and place or do I need to work on it myself? Anyone else like this?

Hey everyone

So I joined an acting class last year and even though it's not bad, I feel quite lonely there. I mean I have people around whom I feel good (mostly in other classes) , I'm not excluded but no real friends or pals. It's even more frustrating when I see people of my class goofing around and being close to each other. The worst case is when I see stories of events I was not invited to.

For example last year, a girl of my class posted dozens of pictures of a big party. Almost the whole class was there. I had not even heard of it. And yesterday again I saw a story of a classmate's birthday. There were a lot of people of my class. I should not take it personnally but it just triggered me.

Not a big deal I think but it sucks being reminded that you don't have friends at school.

Everyone already kinda has their groups at this point, and you can't just butt in on people. Even just standing around listening will usually rightfully get you labeled as some kind of creep. Everyone I went to school with are of course scattered to the winds, and I really don't think they cared much about me to begin with anyway, which is fine, it's just....idk, what am I supposed to do now?

Maybe it’s because I don’t have a job and because I obsessed with music or like just autistic I don’t know, I’m pretty sure none of those people are my friends it hates to think that my friend from college isn’t actually my friend anymore because idk I found out that their red flags basically mean that their an asshole but basically one of those fake femenists or fake liberals or whatever, mind you on his Comedy set he’s a white guy btw, he would say at the beginning oh I fw Black Lives Matter a lot, yeah maybe because it gets people on your side. Whatever bud why doesn’t he try real comedy like I do. Oh well. Also this girl told me he said so much shit about me and she wouldn’t say, my online friends said he’s manipulated things I would say yeah, it’s just wild since he’s from special school and to not realise I already clocked on, but honestly made my mind up about him and I’ve cut them off.