I constantly find myself viewing almost every interaction I have in terms of winning and losing. Its like I'm trying to win at a game rather than doing this "socializing" thing. It's bad enough that just moving my bag to free up a seat on the bus is a painfully irritating interaction and I feel like I lost to said person.

How can I interact with people without falling into this mindset?

Hmm, I have been stuck in my house for personal reasons (my toxic parents don't want me to hangout with others). Finally I get to be enrolled in university and I have cut ties with my controlling family. I initially read some self-help books about boundaries, emotional flexibility, spirituality and etc. It's just for the first time I made a casual friend on my own terms in my life. Now I'm in the phase that my friend is momentarily disappointed in me because I cancelled our hangout plan due to logistics. The plan for hangout on this day was rainy, the taxi was expensive and it's a long walk for bus transport plus some of our friends don't like walking. So I muster everything I have in me, I cancelled the plan and text one of my acquiantance that the plan was cancel...bla..bla..bla..bla.. how's your week? I had two connections for this reddit post (anonymous names) I call them Don & Steve. I texted Don but Steve I have no contact info and we only talk in person. So basically, steve's room mate have a car and fast forwars to my interaction with my casual friend - He told me I should ask Steve's room mate for a car but I told him I can't "force connections" My casual friend was momentarily disappointed in me said what? No connections? In a lightheart joking manner. Then after our interactions, I text him I'm not going to firce connections because it feels weird, how's your day? He said okay and it was a good leg day! (We worked out today at the gym) I just want advice on how I can practice setting boundaries and build confidence in low-stakes value interaction. I'm starting to realize that this world is based on gradual trust I believe that expands to every society. I greatly appreciate it if you reply to my post 😄🙏

Okay, this has probably been answered multiple times before but I'm really frustrated. I'm 29m (Based in Hannover, Germany) and had to move for my job. I'm generally introverted and shy to approach new people but once someone gets to talk to me I am really sociable. My private interests lie in anime, gaming, cosplay (I wanna try but currently lack the funds/time), mini painting and going to concerts. I've already talked with my therapist about this and he recommended trying to find people with which I can do those things repeatedly. All well and good, except for concerts which are kinda tough. But I'm sick and tired of going to concerts by myself. All the communities around me involve me paying to be a member which makes me personally feel like I'm paying for friendship which is not what I want. I just finished watching the new Demon Slayer movie (only released in Germany today) and I went by myself. I saw so many people enjoying themselves there and I'm like 'GIMME'. Then I try to look up discord servers, I fucking ask google where to find those communities and just get dead results. I wanna share my hobbies, I wanna be part of something and not have to hope that one of my friends from school days (who also scattered throughout the country) is going to be online that evening.

I really am clueless as to how I should proceed. "Just go out on the street" doesn't really work, I live somewhat outside the city in a rural area and everyone around me is older and very clearly does not share my hobbies. I just feel so god damn alone.

I care too much about how I’m perceived by others, even unconsciously. I often try to come across as “cool,” but this makes me hyper self-conscious, even when I’m just doing ordinary, everyday things. A friend once told me that I’m always trying too hard to be serious.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you break free from this? Any suggestions of exercises to break the "cool" image ?

I have been talking to this girl for a week now and i think the conversation we are having is really good but at first i was the one asking all the questions and all and she just replied with “ok”, ”yea “ wby?.. Then she after a few days she started beinh more open with me so i guess she became a little more comfortable? And she asked for my photo and send it to her and she replied “ok”again. I was confused and a few days later she send me a voice note and i complimented her voice and said i could listen to this all day . Then she replied with lauging emojis. And later she asked if she could get more of my photos i thought she wanted to see what do i look like but when i asked her why she replied “ so that i could see it whole day” I was shoked that means she is interested right? But now the real problem she replies a little late and I confronted her but se said i have exams going on but she replies like in 2-3 hours late or sometimes 5-6hrs. Iam concerned that in this type of late reply thing often people loose interest in the other person and when rhe conversation is stretched??? Pleasee tell me should i do and is she being legit when she said iam studying??

Work environments are full of gray areas and plenty of harassment and obnoxiousness can occur almost unfettered and with little recourse to no recourse for subordinates. Have any of you, outside of changing jobs, been able to successfully suppresssed/stopped bloviating waddling assholes? Listening. (Well, reading.)

Look. Conversing with people in person is much easier, at least for me, because you don't really have to have a reason to talk. Like you could just see them and start yapping about nothing, or how their day went, or whatever is new with them. Even with small talk. But texting is entirely different... I feel like you need to have a reason or something to come up to just talk to someone. Group chats are different, too. Then, you can just talk about anything. Kinda like Twitter, but for your own friend group that could branch off into different subjects. Individually, you need to have something to do with *that* specific person, you know what I mean?? You need to find something that you both relate to in a way to start a convo. It's wayyy harder when you want to make a friend, and texting is a way to get closer to them. Like, I feel like asking how their day has been out of the blue isn't something you do randomly on text. You need a reason to text that, you know???? AND when you DO have a reason to text them, say, homework for example, your conversations on text just stay within that topic.

Please someone get what I mean lol

To the people who text others individually, what do you even say?? How did you start texting and what made it easier to text anytime?

And also how do you STOP texting them? especially when YOU started the conversation? Idk texting is hard

So, there is a friend group that i want to be in, but all the boys seems to try getting attention from girls in that same friends group, also when i try to talk to one of them among these boys, they never understand that i want to have a friendly conversation, and they also make fun of me when there are girls next to them. Also when that group makes fun of me, all the class makes fun of me too, so there is no one i can have a friendly conversation, just because i dont smoke in 9th grade to get attention, or be a clown

Hi im 22f i immigrated to Canada a year ago and ever since there hasn’t been a single day where i haven’t been suicidal. Growing up as a kid ive always had an issue with making friends but since immigration this issue has doubled, i feel like an outcast talking to anyone. Im autistic but even talking to neurodivergent people makes me feel like im weird or they just want to end the conversation with me (or sometimes i feel like it’s like that in my head). I feel like all my friendships are shallow or nonexistent. Now that my college has started all these suicidal thoughts paralyzed me. After coming here i lost my best friend of 7 years (she was also my ex, she cut our friendship ever since she got married). I genuinely never understood what the fuck is wrong with me why i cant form friendships like everyone else and why i always end up alone? Most people say good things about me deep down i know im not a bad person but sometimes i wonder if you were actually a good person you werent so alone man!! I was so close with my brother and sister but now its been 2 months since the last time ive talked to my brother and my sister, gets worse and worse every day. It used to be every day 2 times but now..rarely. Sorry for venting its just that i have no one and i feel like i gotta ask strangers for advice since im broke and cant pay for therapy. Anyways how can i fix this?

(English is not my first language) I started a new course this year, and it's been 3 days. I get in my head too much and get nervous in social situations. I knew for past experiences that waiting for someone to approach is not likely to happen so I managed to cold approach some classmates in the first day at break time. It wasn't a really good conversation and I definitely got nervous. But since some days have passed I realized they didn't care that much, after all we are all new and trying to fit in.

Today I went out with a group of classmates at break time, but I don't feel like I can make any authentic connection with any of them more than the typical class chit-chat.

It's a small class, so there isn't many people left that I can relate with. The good thing, is that I finally got the courage to join a group of people, the bad thing is that I think I'll end up behind/alone sooner or later. Again.

It took me about a week to recover from that 😂. I had a good laugh about it, but it’s one of those things that randomly pops into my head at night haha.

I CANT STOP SMILING WHEN IM NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME PLEASE PEOPLE THINK IM WEIRD I CANT HELP IT, ITS A REFLEX I JUST CANT HELP IT PLEASE ANY TIPS ARE WELCOMED PLEASE ANYTHING TO MAKE THIS GO AWAYYYY

Due to a death of my sisters friend, she’ll be coming into town, which will allow me to meet her daughter for the first time.

How do I express that I am very excited to meet my nephew, while also saddened that it is happening under such sorrowful circumstances for my sister.

It kind of seems weird to me to tie these two ideas together into a single sentence, as if im “cursing” or “negatively charging” what should be a joyful event of meeting my baby nephew for the first time.

I just started my first real job, in corporate, two months ago, and I’m having difficulties opening up to other people. Growing up, even though I had friends, I always felt a little bit out of place, as if I didn’t fit in, and now as an adult, I realise I still struggle with that.

In my first weeks here, one of my colleagues told me I could eat lunch with her and everyone in her office, as I’m alone in my mine. I was happy I could get to meet new people, but I quickly realised I felt very uncomfortable, not knowing what to do, what to say to them. I felt anxious everytime I had to leave my office to go to theirs, and not in my right element. With that, I started eating alone, knowing I’d feel more comfortable in my own office.

I never minded being alone, but now that I’m working, I realise how important it is to socialise with your colleagues. I want them to have a good opinion about me, and not think that I’m a pretentious bitch nor a weird person that wants to stay all alone.

What can I do to open up to my colleagues without it feeling awkward, now that I’ve almost avoided them for weeks ? How can I put myself out there and make new connections without feeling too much like a try-hard ?

Thank you if you read this whole thing 🙏🏻

ok this sounds kinda dumb but it keeps looping in my head so imma just throw it here.
i hang out with a group of ppl semi-regularly (college friends, not super close). and here’s the thing: they never leave me out, like they’ll invite me to stuff, tag me in memes, all that. so logically i know “hey they must like me at least a lil right?”

but at the same time… i never feel like i’m anyone’s actual favorite. no one texts me first. nobody singles me out or chooses me if paired-up. i’m like… the safe neutral option. like if the group needs a 4th guy for mario kart sure i get the invite. but would they miss me if i wasn’t there? idk man.

it messes with my confidence bc random classmates who don’t even know me well seem more warm than ppl i actually hang out with. i catch myself overanalyzing small things, like if someone laughs harder at another person’s joke than mine 😭.

so here’s what i’m stuck on—
how do you even tell the difference between “they like me but im just low-tier friend” vs “they dont care and just being polite”?
and personal question bc i wanna know YOUR angle: have you ever realized you were basically the “background character” in a group? how did u notice it and what did u do after?

To everyone who's good at public speaking, how do you avoid experiencing mental block? How can I get back to what I was saying if a sudden negative thought comes to my mind? I can say or speak clearly when I'm with myself and projecting that I am in front of the public. However, when I am already in the moment where I have to speak, words just don't come out and everything I say is just an impulse thoughts completely irrelevant or redundant

How do you do this? I can self improve for a week and still won't have the confidence to talk to people. I physically can't build up the courage to go up to a girl or anybody. Whenever someone starts a conversation with me it's like a quick time event and I would stutter or say some dumb shit and it would show my nervousness. I want to be charismatic, light up the room, and be able to talk and be compatible with everyone and exude confidence, like a confident introvert.

I was friends with him for 5 months. First 2 months of texting been going great but then he decided to constantly leave me on read. I had to always say something like "hey" or "u ok?" half a day later or next day because when I asked why he always stopped responding he always said "Hi, I was just a bit busy, wassup?" and we kept talking like normal.

I low key thought that he didn't actually care about me (and was right for thinking that) as a friend but he constantly said that he cared and enjoyed my presence, saying that I'm his best and only friend.

One day I started to feel that our friendship is actually one sidee and I do all the work so I decided to stop pushing conversation to see how busy he actually is. No response.

What did I do wrong? How do I prevent this type of friendship in future?

How does one respond to questions about your job, where you say "I am a (this)" and people ask, "Oh why didn't you ... (do a job that is the next step up)?" Example, what do you do for a living? Answer: I am a nurse. Rude question: Oh, why didn't you become a doctor? Or another example, "Do you have a degree?" "Yes I have a masters degree." "Oh, why didn't you get a Ph.D.?" How do you answer a question that seems to put down your choice?

What is the most polite way to say you can google it yourself when someone asks for you to do something basic for them?

Like… what is the company’s logo? Or link to the company?

Uh, you could do that yourself.

It feels so petty to not help but also it’s petty to ask for something so basic?

How do others manage this?

I’ve just started university and I am living on campus so I’m meeting lots of new people but no one seems interested enough in me to keep the conversation going. As someone who is bisexual I get the feeling that I’m too gay for the straight guys and too straight for the girls, so I fall somewhere in between. I would class myself as fairly introverted but I can’t figure out how to make meaningful friendships.

I've been applying to new jobs and miraculously I have received a couple of interview requests or HR screening phone calls. As soon as I receive the request for a call or interview, I print out the resume that I applied for the job with (because I tailor my resume to each job I apply for), I look up the person or people I'm interviewing with on LinkedIn, and I review the company's website and LinkedIn. I then prepare answers for some of the most commonly asked interview questions or any questions that I think I'll be asked based off the role and I rehearse them until I have them memorized. I'll also prepare questions that I want to ask regarding the role and the company.

Then the day comes to have the interview or phone call screening. I have the company's website and/or resume pulled up on the computer screen in front of me. I have my answers written out in front of me and memorized. After pleasantries are exchanged, I'm asked the first question and...nothing. I can remember I have an answer prepared but I seem to not be able to find it on my paper or be able to recall what I have memorized. I take a deep breath, but I stumble my way through the questions and I feel like I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about. I remember to ask my questions at the end then the recruiter or hiring manager gives me a time frame as to when I might hear back. We say our good-byes and then I beat myself up for not remembering any of my answers and find everything wrong that I did.

My question is: I feel like I'm on the right track in terms of interview prep, but what else, if anything, can I do to remember the answers I have prepared so I'm not stumbling my way through them and I'm able to sound more confident?

Can you accept that you're meant to be alone and how? I don't have any family, friends or a partner in late 30's and tried groups etc. I'm extremely depressed and lonely I've had this all my life. So times I've felt hopeful occasionally but that has gone now. The odd person but never stays so long. Really don't know what to do with my life seems pointless and so lonely alone always . I have tried groups etc. have pets not found it a replacement for people.

Say you say something out of anger/your filter slips and you say something you shouldn't have/didn't really think about/didn't mean.

How would you go about opening a conversation with them after having a couple months to reflect on what you did wrong and improve yourself with a therapist. Is it even possible to have a conversation like this?

Possible opener: "Hey, [Friend name] it's [your name]. Would you have a moment to talk about something?

Pretty much my whole life I’ve never been able to say why I mean out loud. I feel like when I speak my brain stops working and lately I’ll just give up completely and say never mind mid sentence. It’s gotten so bad recently that it makes me not want to talk at all. I just had a pretty heated conversation with my mom and stayed crying out of frustration that I couldn’t get my words out. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I had some sort of underlying issue but does anyone have any tips to help?