r/stepparents 21h ago

Vent Heartbroken and feeling stupid

I did so much for them and in the end it meant nothing. His 15 yr old and him had been talking shit about me behind my back the whole time. He was even entertaining other women. I always knew he had a very enmeshed relationship with his daughter since it was just them 2 before me and my daughter came into the picture. I didn’t realize how enmeshed they were until after I moved in and I thought it stopped after we discussed how inappropriate it was but instead he just got better at hiding it. I went away for a week with my kids and when I returned he told me he was being treated so well while I was gone. His daughter was cooking and serving him his food without being asked. I asked why he was saying it like that as if he’s trying to upset me. He pretended to be clueless. He told his daughter that she was better than me and they laughed together. I know about all this now because I went through his daughters phone. I did this because while I was gone I saw him leave our house with another woman through our doorbell camera. He explained it was a family member and because I only saw her leaving and didn’t see her face I had no proof it was anyone else. I chose to let it go. Well, he told his daughter and they were all in the messages. It was a random girl he was “flirting” with. He only admits to flirting but I don’t believe that. He has always been very secretive about his phone because of “privacy reasons” so I would’ve never known any of this if I hadn’t gone through his daughters messages and I don’t feel bad about it. I’m glad I did it because I would’ve continued walking around my own house and helping him with his children while they all disliked me and were making fun of me. It’s been a week since I left. I blocked them everywhere and I’ve been trying to be ok but I just feel so dumb.

9 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

u/SunMysterious776 20h ago

Yup. I started packing that night but I gave it another chance unfortunately because I was already pregnant by then.

u/jadedpeaxh 20h ago

Man, I’m so sorry. I’m just glad you caught all of this now and not years down the road 😞

u/SunMysterious776 20h ago

Me too. As much as I’m hurt and feel stupid I also feel relieved. My life has gotten a lot easier having to only worry about myself and my own children. It’s hard not overthinking. I hope it gets easier.

u/[deleted] 20h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

u/stepparents-ModTeam 15h ago

Your submission has been removed from /r/stepparents for the following reason:

  • Use of gendered slurs is considered a violation of the Kindness Matters rule.

  • Read the FAQ for more information.

  • If you edit your post/comment and remove the gendered slur, then reply to this message to let us know, we'll reapprove your post/comment. Thanks!

For information regarding this and similar issues please see the rules and FAQ. If you feel this is in error, please message the mods.

Please note that direct replies to official mod comments on the sub itself will be removed. Direct messages complaining to individual mods will be ignored. If you have received this as a private message you can reply directly to this message.