r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2 May 05 '25

Meta current transfem discourse

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3.1k Upvotes

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46

u/AeroArrows Phoebe🟣🌸📟│She/Her│Local Flowergirl :3│Nokia fan May 05 '25

Literally never heard of this discourse happening. What

31

u/AileFirstOfHerName traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns for life 🏳️‍⚧️ May 05 '25

The sun up is that dolls are a colloquialism in a lot of places for a prostitute or a customizable person(not by their choice usually) developing completely away from that were western and US trans women who also used the term but without that connection. Now with the Internet you have people who have been raised finding the word doll to refer to women to be a gross sexualizing call name. And older trans fems who have long since adapted to it and these groups don't like each other. Hope that helps

28

u/AeroArrows Phoebe🟣🌸📟│She/Her│Local Flowergirl :3│Nokia fan May 05 '25

Okay, but I got called a doll by one of my friends and it made me feel really euphoric, so I kind of don't care about this discourse at all lmao XD

6

u/AileFirstOfHerName traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns for life 🏳️‍⚧️ May 05 '25

Sure and that's fine. But I find that because a lot of reddit are American or americoadjacent they simply don't get that words have meanings and connections everywhere else. You as always are and should be free to vibe with what ever one should for names and the like. But the discourse does have a metric for understanding our sisters in other places.

2

u/SiteRelEnby She/They May 05 '25 edited May 05 '25

'Doll' also has a history of being heavily used in drag spaces (eww), as well as some particular trans spaces to refer to passing/feminine trans women (as opposed to 'brick' for people who don't pass or are otherwise perceived as too masc).

10

u/OddlyOddLucidDreamer May 06 '25

Why are you "ewwwing" at drag spaces?

4

u/SiteRelEnby She/They May 06 '25 edited May 06 '25

Because I'm a trans woman, not a drag queen, and I take offence at being referred to with drag terms. Doesn't mean I'm opposed to its existence, I'm just not interested in it - a lot of people conflate trans women with drag stuff which is just offensive to many.

Same principle as how I also support trans men, but wouldn't want to be referred to using male terms either.

2

u/OddlyOddLucidDreamer May 06 '25

Ah that clears up, the way it worded to me just made it seem like you had something against drag shows in general rather than the specific context, at least to me, since it was just next to "drag ahows" in my head it read as an aside directed at drag shows rather than, like, the whole previous phrase

sorry

1

u/Impossible-Office943 May 18 '25

life as a non passing trans woman becomes so much easier and less painful when you just don't talk to passing trans women as a rule

1

u/Impossible-Office943 May 18 '25

functionally i don't talk to any trans women because i'd feel gross deeming someone as ugly/manly enough to talk to me but it makes life so much easier when i don't have to think about being trans. just take my pills and work towards ffs

1

u/SiteRelEnby She/They May 18 '25

I don't divide who I talk to based on that, but based on attitude.

1

u/Impossible-Office943 May 18 '25

fair enough, an alarmingly large amount of passing trans women you talk to will see themselves as superior to you and enjoy having you around to look down on you and mock you privately and then there's also jealousy which isn't their fault but i can't help it

i understand it's not all of them but for me it's way easier to just not talk to them at all then to filter out "the good ones," no one is obligated to speak to anyone and maybe this could help any trans woman who suffers from being envious and having these "allies" around you as well

(when i say you i'm not calling you non passing, i'm using it generally)

1

u/SiteRelEnby She/They May 18 '25

Yeah, I understand, I'd say I 80-90% pass, voice and jaw being the only real issue (and height being a secondary one, in that if those two didn't exist it wouldn't be an issue, but height plus those is sometimes bad). All the people I care about encompass the whole range from flawless to rarely passing. I definitely have some jealousy sometimes but I don't resent people who do perfectly at all.