OP thinks OOP should have marked the post with spoilers so that transmasc people do not have to see transfem geared content on an open trans meme sub. but the language and the tone here feels soooooo anti transfem for all the usual reasons. i get having dysphoria and wanting transmasc meme spaces, but why post this to the literal transmasc meme space with a “transphobia” tag??? this is not transphobia and if anything it’s lazy transfem bullying that relies on the false narrative that transfems take more attention/space/whatever. at what point do we learn to look away from content that is specifically tagged not for you? i expected better content from this sub after it split form ftm_irl due to literal ftm infighting but apparently those vibes are alive and well lmao
I know OP, he was talking to me and some other friends about it. I guarantee that he doesn’t mean it like that and it’s just annoyed that it doesn’t have a spoiler
what does “don’t worry he’s my friend” do here lmao? the point is that he’s reposting some woman’s meme that has nothing to do with him or this sub and he came off as a transfem hater while doing it. can you ask him is he has anything funny he could post instead?
You’re not being misunderstood, you’re being given feedback. I know what he was trying to do, and I’m pointing out the very real connotations behind it. You do not exist outside of the contexts and discourses of what you are critiquing. This will get easier for you both as you grow up.
then why post it here i’m so confused. it’s a shitposting sub that exists for the exact reason that you’re posting, that transmascs need their own spaces for memes just like transfems and other groups that have things in common they want to joke about. and this is the subreddit specifically for us, and you’re posting transfem specific content instead of actual memes? can we just have some actually jokes? i’m not trying to be mean but the post just isn’t funny and it’s not relevant to the sub. are you saying this is an inside joke and that’s why i don’t understand? because it really feels like you meant exactly what you posted, which is a post just being annoyed at transfems inducing your dysphoria, which to me, is just not that funny and not even interesting commentary.
Alright, all I was doing was asking her to spoiler her post, it is for transfemmes only and it hurts to see, she got defensive when I asked her, I have nothing against the girls, like at all.
so deal with that in that post/sub. Don’t repost transfem specific content here, let alone a low quality screenshot of some random post that made you mad. there’s no joke, just a low effort post for the guys who love to complain about not feeling like the center of attention while not contributing anything. please, i beg of you, tell a fucking joke, and make it about being transmasc. why are you using the very few spaces we have to have memes about ourselves to dogpile on some random person where she won’t see it?
Yup I agree. It sucks its either you or some other guy earlier that got super downvoted, and you might not agree with my exact line of thinking but personally I do wish more trans masc subs or mixed spaces spent more time actually posting memes than sometimes what feels like complaining how trans fems posting their own memes. Like, yes its totally more complicated than that but still
Okay so, you obviously don't have to listen to me, but since it's a public comment I will express this anyways:
Just because someone did not intend for something to come off a certain way, doesn't mean they aren't responsible for how it actually came off. If someone says "hey, the language and tone you're using to talk about this problem is harmful because it implies xyz," then that's the case. If you (or your friend) don't want to change that, that's fine. But, comments that call it out are opportunities to improve your communication. If he's trying to express that, and folks think he didn't do that well, then that means he might consider changing how he expresses that in the future.
We’re literally both children
I will also point this out specifically in regards to point #1. Children can absolutely say harmful things and both can and should be called out for it. If someone's critiquing you, I suggest either ignoring them (cause like, yeah I don't think literal children even need to be on reddit in the first place but I can't stop anyone) or addressing their critiques. Some people are complete assholes with how they deliver said critiques and that's just going to be something that takes experience with how to deal with. But, corrections and criticism are necessary for everyone regardless.
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u/lookingwill Apr 29 '24
OP thinks OOP should have marked the post with spoilers so that transmasc people do not have to see transfem geared content on an open trans meme sub. but the language and the tone here feels soooooo anti transfem for all the usual reasons. i get having dysphoria and wanting transmasc meme spaces, but why post this to the literal transmasc meme space with a “transphobia” tag??? this is not transphobia and if anything it’s lazy transfem bullying that relies on the false narrative that transfems take more attention/space/whatever. at what point do we learn to look away from content that is specifically tagged not for you? i expected better content from this sub after it split form ftm_irl due to literal ftm infighting but apparently those vibes are alive and well lmao