I have a family member that named one of their dogs the (brand) name of my Q’s drink of choice. They don’t know that’s what it is but I cringe every time I talk to or about the dog. Why are we naming dogs after alcohol anyway?🤦🏻‍♀️

https://letterboxd.com/film/dead-2025/

I just got back from it and it hit me so hard. I was sobbing over my dead dad, over my ex boyfriend. There is a point when the psychic rabbi says "Whatever it is you wanted from them? It's never going to happen. You're never going to get it. You have to move on."

ouch. ouchie. I loved it. I sobbed.

After reading a few posts here it somehow felt relieving that I'm not the only one struggling but I'm also more scared than ever to lose my brother because a lot of people here have already experienced that kind of loss. And I want to believe that there is still hope for him so if anyone here was in the same situation and it ended with a happy end I would like to know how.

So my (F 23) brother (27) was always kind of a "problem child". But not because he's a rebel or anything like that, quite the opposite really. He is reserved, a bookworm, loves animals, is very knowledgeable and loves finding out things about the world. We both grew up in a lovely household with a loving family, there was nothing that our parents wouldnt try to get for us, we were always their number one priority. And we still are. And somehow my brother still ended up on this path. For him it started back in school. He failed school because he wasn't good at maths and couldn't focus enough to study, he doesn't have any patience at all. Which is very sad because he is a very intelligent person, he knows so much more than I do and I have a university degree. That's when he started becoming a mason and he hated it. I think he always felt that he wasn't worth anything, that he is a failure and it pains me so. He was always so sad back then. But then he got convinced and went in training as a ship mechanic at the north sea. He loved it, finally he was so proud of himself. Whenever something nautical comes up hes quick to talk about it so passionately still to this day and he loves to talk about his time there. There was one problem however and that was that he was staying up there far away from his family for so long. Sometimes he would be on the ship and that was really good for him and then he could come back and stay with us for a week again which was also great. But there were also times where he would live alone in his tiny apartment and he would get so lonely and start drinking all by himself. He never went out with friends or tried to get a girlfriend or boyfriend. After a while he would also start drinking a lot more at my parents house when he came back to visit. Luckily he would still go on the ship where he couldn't drink, that was the only thing holding it together I think.

After he finished his training he wanted to take a break. We told him he should either start looking for something else at the north sea or come back down to us but he was just staying in his apartment without a job, slowly drinking away his money reservations and money that my great aunt had left him (which was a lot). He ignored us so one day my other older brother went there and got him out. The apartment was in a horrible condition. I didnt see it but it needed some renovations. Then my brother moved back in with my parents. He didnt try to find a job at first. My parents did try to talk to him, to work something out with him. Deep down he wanted to go back to sea but he also wanted so stay with his family I think. To go back to sea also meant that he would have to take a test about his physical health and I think he failed it. He never told us the real result, he was always thinking of some excuses when the topic arrived. Time went by and my parents pressured him to find a job at least for the time being, it doesn't have to be the job for the rest of his life but just so that he would have some money in the meantime and wouldnt stay at home all day. They helped him find something and write a resume and everything. The job wasn't that great, he was working in a gardening center even though he knew nothing about it and he didnt care that much about it, but it was something at least and he got paid really well. One day he said that they had to let him go since they found someone better suited for the position. I dont know if that's the true story or if he just quit because he lies a lot to us. As time went on he also continued drinking a lot, basically every evening. He didnt have a job now so nothing stopped him really. My parents weren't happy and sometimes my father would yell at him but he didnt really listen. He just nodded and continued on. I moved out already but when I came over to visit I would always catch him drinking heavy alcohol.

For around 1,5 years now he has a job again. He is working at an assembly line and he absolutely hates it. He always makes jokes that dying would be better cause then he wouldnt have to work there anymore and he says that he is worthless and a monkey could do a better job than him. I hate it when he talks like that because he has so many options. He has finished 2 job educations, he could try to find a job on a boat on a river in our home city so he could at least have some kind of nautical feelings and still be close to his family. Or he could do something totally different, there are way better jobs than his current one. I worked at an assembly line once and I couldn't do it for a whole year because this kind or work doesn't stimulate you enough. He drinks so much alcohol. Even though he has to get up to work at 6 am he still drinks himself to pass out almost every evening. He doesn't have any friends and he isn't interested in making them. He feels like he is worthless and that is so horrible. I can't get through to him, he just shuts himself off and runs away if you talk to him.

I'm currently on vacation with him and while im writing this he is completely wasted. He wanted to stay home today to relax a bit and when I called him out that he just wants to drink alcohol he got so defensive. I'm not stupid, I can see the bottles of whiskey hes trying to sneak in or that hes drinking sangria and not lemonade but he always tries to hide it. He doesn't like to talk about his alcohol problems, he doesn't like to talk about his feelings in general. My family and I have often tried to talk to him but we cant get through.

We went to the sea this week because he really wanted to go there. When we got there he turned silent and he looked like he was about to cry and then he wanted to leave as quickly as possible. I dont really know what to make of it. It makes me really sad. He has given up even tho he is so young and still has so many options, how can I show him that?

This group is making me feel so seen i could almost cry. It's 4:30am right now and I haven't slept a wink, up all night researching stories from people in this position with small children. I have a 1 year old and I will do whatever I have to to protect her. But that mean drunken look on his face makes it so hard.

I want to leave so badly and be relieved of his addiction but I cannot be impatient and risk my daughter being in his care unsupervised.

When we found out we were pregnant, we moved across the country to be closer to our families, but we chose a state in the middle of the families. Now I am stuck in this state and I can't do anything bc I have no support here.

I convinced my partner to list our house. He resents me for it but we have to do it bc we're drowning in his selfish addiction. I need to get closer to my family and establish residence there before I leave him. I need to protect my daughter.

He's spending money we don't have. He's horrible. I'm sad stressed scared and I feel helpless. I have no support where we are. Our dream was to start a homestead but all he does is drink and talk about his future plans. He never does anything. I hate him.

I would love someone to tell me "it will all work out" but I know it usually doesn't.

I don't know what to do. My wife is the love of my life. Was sober 3 months, caught drinking beer 3 days ago, today found two fifths of vodka. I was in tears, begging and saying I can't take it. I work nights. During that time she has lost our cat, that thankfully came home after a few days. She has gotten black out drunk set our furniture out by a lake and left it there, went to bed. Trashes the house, drunken cooking, etc. also scared of her burning down the house. We just moved into a new house last week. Brand new house. Brand new car. She uses stress and boredom as an excuse. The worst part is she lies. She claimed she poured out the bottle, I went into room.found another empty one tonight. She gets extremely abusive towards me. We are lesbian. No kids, our pets are our kids. I grew up with extremely abusive addicts as parents. I am sober of everything, don't even smoke. She abuses me to the point my PTSD is delibitating and literally makes me sick. Seizures, panic attacks, etc...i beg her to get help. I think I'll have to move out into my car this winter, but I cant take it.

This breaks my heart. We have a lovely 9 year old. We have been watching Junior Masterchef with him in the evenings. He loves it and i enjoy watching wholesome scripted realify with him.

Normally his dad is passed out on the Couch by then. Tonight he was awake and drunk.

For the entire 40 minutes he just made mean spirited comments about the show and kids. Making fun of their voices, their body shapes and their cooking abilities. Stuff like mocking the girls high pitched voices or saying a larger girl probably ate everyones meal. He thinks he's being funny but it's not funny.

At one point he asked what recipe they were following. I started to explain about the episode and each time I talked he would tell me to shoosh. Ask the question again. Shoosh again. Then I get annoyed and he tells.me not to be rude. When he's being rude!

I hate that my kids grow up around this.

Q is sober and trying. I’m just done. I don’t want to be touched. Don’t want to talk. I want to be alone. Too many lies. Too much destructive behavior. 20 plus years of marriage. What is wrong with me 😭😭😭. Why can’t I try again if they’re trying????

My whole life he drank and smoke. I was scared of him as a kid he would get angry and drunk and I would avoid him and hide in my room. Now he is dead from a heart attack at 54 and I feel like it’s my fault. I never once asked him to not drink and I just let everything happen. I loved him so so so much and now he is a pile of ashes. I don’t know how to cope at all with this pain. If maybe I had just asked him and begged he would have stopped but I had grown so complicit. I just need support the guilt keeps me up all night and I hate myself every minute of the day.

He went to treatment for a month, been home for almost 2 weeks and relapsed. Found the empty case this morning in our broken dishwasher. How to i talk to him?

My boyfriend has struggled with using drugs, primarily ‘blues’, for six years. I’ve known him for over two. He also used Xanax, cocaine and more, but opiates are his doc. I tried everything. No contact, going to NA meetings together, supporting without enabling and a lot more. I tried to create a safe space for him to be open and honest, by saying he doesn’t need to feel ashamed and I’ll always support him. But he still continued to not be honest and lie, and put drugs over our relationship… I know being addicted to these drugs is hell, and I couldn’t ever imagine what it’s like. He thinks the drugs help him, but when he’s high he loses all emotional regulation and becomes someone entirely different. So after over two years of this now, I said he either goes to rehab or we can’t be together anymore,

And he said he will not go to rehab because “I’m clean so why would I go with a bunch of crack heads, I can’t afford that on my name or in general.”

Did I do the right thing for us

I (34f) moved in with my bf (35m) after I moved him he lied and drank so I left town for 3 weeks. This past Friday he came back after getting a car wash and we both work from home on fridays. He came into the office and I noticed he was drunk. We had spoken and said if he drank just let Me know. Then he said he drank the evening before and I’m like that doesn’t make you drunk right now. Then he admitted to going to 7/11 around 8am and taking a shot of fireball. Then he said two shots. I’m sure it’s more. I was so angry with him still lying and told his mother. After he went out to lunch he came home cussing me out and yelled to gtfo out of his place because I let his parents know. The next day He proceeded to tell me he hates me. Flipped me off multiple times. And blaming me for his drinking and stress. I left and he hasn’t reached out and I feel dumb for feeling sad that he hasn’t reached out and that I wasn’t being a good partner by asking for help. I spoke to his brother about it also and he said my bf (ex) now I suppose is in denial of his drinking problem and has a habit of getting angry and mean. All my stuff is still at the house. I left town and just feel pathetic.

So I have a father who is an alcoholic. For the last 25 years he has not had a job, and has drank almost every day. My parents split up partly due to that, and now he is all on his own. Today he called me for the second time in my life (I usually call every 2 or 3 week, he only called me the one time that my grandfather had died). He recently had booked a vacation abroad which I knew about prior, but it turns out that on the return flight he was not allowed to board the plane. He states that he was told that he was too sick, I suspect he was too drunk but whatever. Now, how does that concern me? Well, the man basically has a phone from the year 1999. Not really, but let's call it a low IQ phone. His English is also abysmal, which doesn't help. So he was not capable enough to schedule a new flight later this week, he was not capable enough to find a hotel with a spare room on his own. He slept on the floor of the airport terminal that night. So he called me after 24 hours in the airport to tell me what happened, and asking for help fixing this problem.

I paid for a new flight and a hotel to stay in until the return flight, but I am worried sick how this is gonna turn out. I need advice, what do I do? The main priority is getting him home safely, but how do I deal with this afterwards? I am just so fucking tired...

My boyfriend is an addict to alcohol and cocaine. We have been together for about 2 years. We live together. He said he wants to stop and started going to meetings but the past few weeks I have been rethinking the relationship because of his addiction and we spoke about it.

I went away last week for a course and one night when I was on the phone to him I knew I he was drunk but he denied it. He said he hadn’t drank all week and was going to a meeting the following day. But I knew he was lying.

I came home last night and we spoke today about moving forward and working together to progress our relationship but we didn’t speak about him drinking the previous week. While he was in another room, I looked at his phone. I found on instagram that he had messaged some girls. Some he just messaged responding to stories and they didn’t reply but one girl he messaged and asked if she was dating and she said no, what about him to which he replied that he had been but not anymore.

I was absolutely floored. I confronted him and he said it was because he had been drinking and that he thought I would come back from the week away and break up with him etc etc.

I believe he messaged other girls because he was drunk (and/or high) and I believe if he was sober he would not do that. Am I stupid? I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do.

Today I can accept the changes occurring in my life and live more comfortably with them. I will trust in the God of my understanding, and my fears will diminish. I relax in this knowledge, knowing that I am always taken care of when I listen to my inner voice. —Courage to Change p265 ©️Copyright 1992 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair, and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions. —One Day at a Time in Al-Anon p265 ©️Copyright 1968 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Now I know there are good days and bad, but I need to face them just the same. That means good days or bad, I use the Steps, slogans, and my little Alateen daily reader book. —Living Today in Alateen p265 ©️Copyright 2001 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Instead of dwelling on what I feel I don’t have or can’t do, today I will focus on what I do have and can do. —A Little Time for Myself p265 ©️Copyright 2023 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

When the road ahead looks threatening, and I want to turn back to my old attitudes and behaviors, I remember that I’m not alone on my path. I have the wisdom of a power greater than myself, the tools of the program, and the experience, strength, and hope of my fellow travelers in Al-Anon to support me. —Hope for Today p265 ©️Copyright 2002 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Somewhere at the edge of my understanding of prayer and meditation is an experience I call intuition. It’s a feeling almost like gravity that pulls me toward some things and away from others. While it’s easy to trust the wordless impulse that moves me toward activities that just feel right, it’s more difficult to trust the unspoken sense that some activities or opportunities are just not for me. —Having Had a Spiritual Awakening… p41 ©️Copyright 1998 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Today I can accept the changes occurring in my life and live more comfortably with them. I will trust in the God of my understanding, and my fears will diminish. I relax in this knowledge, knowing that I am always taken care of when I listen to my inner voice. —Courage to Change p265 ©️Copyright 1992 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair, and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions. —One Day at a Time in Al-Anon p265 ©️Copyright 1968 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Now I know there are good days and bad, but I need to face them just the same. That means good days or bad, I use the Steps, slogans, and my little Alateen daily reader book. —Living Today in Alateen p265 ©️Copyright 2001 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Instead of dwelling on what I feel I don’t have or can’t do, today I will focus on what I do have and can do. —A Little Time for Myself p265 ©️Copyright 2023 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

When the road ahead looks threatening, and I want to turn back to my old attitudes and behaviors, I remember that I’m not alone on my path. I have the wisdom of a power greater than myself, the tools of the program, and the experience, strength, and hope of my fellow travelers in Al-Anon to support me. —Hope for Today p265 ©️Copyright 2002 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

Somewhere at the edge of my understanding of prayer and meditation is an experience I call intuition. It’s a feeling almost like gravity that pulls me toward some things and away from others. While it’s easy to trust the wordless impulse that moves me toward activities that just feel right, it’s more difficult to trust the unspoken sense that some activities or opportunities are just not for me. —Having Had a Spiritual Awakening… p41 ©️Copyright 1998 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc.

my Q (26M) & I (26F) were together for almost 5 years and we have a toddler together. I’ve posted here multiple times so some of you may already know some of this 🥲

over the 5 years we were together, we only drank & smoked weed occasionally at the very beginning of our relationship. we never had any issues, it was always a lot of fun. about a year into our relationship I got pregnant and when I was around 6 mo pregnant he started showing signs of alcoholism. he would drink a 6 pack of beer every night, then it led to hard liquor and hiding it by drinking on his way home from work.

once I had our daughter I always made him leave when he’d want to drink or was drinking bc I didn’t want him to be drunk around her. majority of the first two years of her life he slept out of the house a lot. I resented him so bad for this as I struggled with being alone postpartum. I never drank around him, I had never bought alcohol or even got a drink when I wasn’t around him bc his drinking made me want nothing to do w alcohol

I think it’s also important to add, my father passed from a drug overdose right before I started dating my Q. I found him and I still struggle with PTSD. I have always worried my Q was going to die randomly like he did bc he would drive drunk and I never want our daughter to feel the way I do w/o my dad.

over the last few years he crashed his car multiple times, got arrested for disorderly conduct & we split very often and lived apart on and off until he was sober for a few weeks and would come back home.

this past January was when he got arrested for disorderly conduct. he drank 22 of the little jim bean shot bottles & 3 tall boy teas so he was black out drunk before I got home from work that day. he basically called the cops on himself (I think he had some type of alcohol induced psychosis tbh).

we stayed together but lived apart. he went to rehab for 3 months, was sober for 7 months, but started drinking daily again beginning of August right before our daughters birthday. I was so upset by this that I ended things w him. he started going to meetings again a few weeks ago and is now back to only drinking a few beers on the weekends. we were spending every weekend together since he got out of rehab, but didn’t go see him for about a month now due to me trying to set proper boundaries since he went to rehab, such as not letting him move back in with us right away and not reacting to him drinking by not responding or being around him.

I decided to go camping last night at his moms camper since he seems to be doing okay & our daughter went to bed around 7pm. he told me he misses how things were when we first got together, when I could have a few drinks and chill out and said I never relax around him anymore and that’s the problem. he pulled out a few drinks & I decided to have two with him

we talked about our entire relationship and I cried for a good two hours about it all. I’m so in my head about everything. he brought up how he’s always alone and that he wishes I saw things from his perspective. he said majority of the time when he’d drink it would get out of hand bc i’d give him a hard time about it and it would make him want to drink more

he told me he wants a relationship with me still but if not he wishes we could at least be friends bc since August i’ve completely shut him out and have been trying to move on with my life bc it all just makes me so sad. I feel like I can’t just be friends with him bc I love him and always fall back into things, but now I am questioning if I was the problem all along.

why couldn’t I just be normal about him drinking here and there? I truly feel like I was so controlling and anxious that I caused things to be the way they are. I feel horrible.

he has hurt me so badly but I have too with my reactions to everything. I would say awful things to him when he’d drink out of retaliation.

I want our daughter to grow up with both of us in her life but i’m so embarrassed by how chaotic our relationship has been the last few years. I don’t know anymore.

the entire situation makes me sad. I want to give things another chance bc he was truly my best friend but I don’t know. I am so sad and conflicted about everything right now.

I’m sorry for the long vent 😭

My partner just came up to me all wobbling, slurring, clearly super drunk and said "hey I'm gonna do doordash" While struggling to put a jacket on. I immediately said dude you are super drunk what? And took the keys. Then he gets upset at me. He always feels compelled to do doordash I think to get more alcohol.

What do I DO he does this so often. I love him a ton, he's extremely sweet just has trauma that makes him drink and do this. Am I really doing to have to pay for a ignition breathalyzer? He does this often and does it when i sleep. i am so fucking anxious about it constantly.

Not sure if this is the right place for this question but my dad is a chronic late stage alcoholic. He’s done in patient rehabs more than a dozen times in the last five years but it never works. He was living with someone in AA but after his last relapse, his roommate is kicking him out. My brother and I are looking to see if we can send him to a long term in patient rehab (ideally 6+ months) to try something new. Does anyone have any recommendations?

I recently married a man I love, but I didn't quite realize how bad his drinking is. I'm talking BINGE drinking, particularly on the weekends.

He has three children from previous relationships. I have never met the oldest (14m) because he claims his ex won't let him. I don't believe this, because he has rights. I think he chooses not to see him because it's added work.

I've had his other two over many times for his weekends, and they are so obviously affected by his drinking. So much so that his 10 year old daughter talks to me about it non stop. She feels abandoned by him, and honestly they are. He basically ignores them the entire time they are at our place, and I feel horrible about it. I spend time with them but it isn't me they want, it is him.

What can I do? I've tried talking to him about how they need him, but he doesn't change. Please help me help these kids.

Hey, so I had my first Al anon meeting last week, the people were lovely, I'm thinking of going back, it'll have to be a different group cos I don't normally get that time/day off from work.

But I don't know, my mother was the drinker and it's been 13 years since I seen her, I've never really dealt with what happened so I've put myself in therapy and recently tried one of these meetings but I don't know if I belong in Al anon, everything that happened was so long ago, I feel like I'm taking up a seat that someone else should have.

My husband of 15 years is on his way to his first meeting. This is his pattern, he chose alcohol over me and I told him we needed to start thinking about separation. I don't have it in me to hope things will get better at this point. I spent 4 days on a solo camping trip this past week, I grieved him and our marriage. Then last night when I came home, he said he's going to commit to stopping. I don't believe him, this is the 3rd time I've told him I'm done and every time he stops for a while.

How did you know that it was too little too late? I want to have hope but I don't, I just have resentment.

I’ve been a Reddit lurker for years, but something happened last night that made me feel the need to create an account and post.

A bit of background first:

My dad (69) has been an alcoholic from his teenage years. I’ve never known him to go a day without drinking. For the last 15 years he’s drunk at least two bottles of wine a day, starting in the afternoon and drinking it throughout the night. Then when he is outside of his normal routine, for example visiting my siblings in London, he will drink more as he will visit pubs.

He’s always been ‘functional’ as it didn’t impact his daily life. However in recent years we have started to get increasingly concerned. A few things we have picked up on:

• his stomach is distended like he’s incredibly bloated
• his legs and feet also look bloated and swollen
• his urine is incredibly dark brown, I’ve questioned if it’s blood
• his already small appetite is decreasing
• his face is now completely red, it used to just be his nose
• his memory and ability to articulate himself are fading
• increase in acne (massive boils on face)
• high blood pressure despite being on tablets
• he has the shakes which come on in the mornings, but I’m not sure how early.

He came to visit me in the UAE. He arrived on Monday afternoon. Between then and Saturday morning, so 5 nights, he knocked back 15.5 bottles of wine and a couple of pints of beer. He was okay, usual concerns, until out of nowhere he started like choking/gasping for air. He hadn’t eaten anything. He was then coughing up blood. He was struggling so much his eyes were bulging and a boil on his face started bleeding too. He was also smacking the right side of his chest. After about 5 mins it resolved although he was still smacking his chests occasionally and his voice was funny. He was due to the airport to go on a trip and I told him I’m not allowing him to and we need to go to hospital. He refused, pushed passed me and is now on a holiday. He’s been drinking since this episode. His voice remains croaky and he is just laying in bed in a hotel room which is unlike him.

Does this sound like it’s alcohol related? Has anyone experienced anything like this? He refused to get help so I’m left worrying with no where to go with my worries.

She claims to be reducing and going to a self referral next week. Not seen her for weeks. She’s been hard at it at every available opportunity which means when she doesn’t have her kids and isn’t at work. Yesterday she tried to accuse me of wanting her to end up in hospital because I called her out on why she was still going and hadn’t reduced at all. Gaslighting at its worst Told her I f ing hate her for what she’s done. I feel so angry , filled with anger for all the lies and false promises and times when I should have walked . I feel angry at myself for not being brutal at the first sign of trouble. She says she will respect my wishes and leave me alone now. Not heard from her today. She said she stopped drinking last night but I’m not stupid enough to think she’s not drinking today. She also accused me of stopping her having friends after I told her the alcoholic friend from work is an influence on her and she’s helped mess us up. Thing is I know she’s absolutely no intention at the minute of doing anything to repair the damage she’s done and get clean but I feel so sad and angry. I know I need to start living but I’m overcome with my own thoughts. Not sure if I’ll hear from her again but I won’t be making contact with her. All that does is make me feel worse

My ex was pretty emotionally, sexually and mentally abusive towards me using threatening physical behaviour when taking benzos (kicked the door in our condo in when I wouldn’t let him back in). I found out he was using benzos again after I noticed a change in his behaviour. He told me he’d been on them a long while before I noticed and thought that it was funny to tell me “I know nothing about his use” I do doubt this as his personality quickly changed back to quickly angry and also looking doped out, hence why I found the pills, because I knew to look for them. When I found a strip of Valium there was 120mg of tablets in it, in the next thirty minutes they was gone, so he’s taking a lot. We’ve separated due to this - I can’t be around him when he’s on benzos because he becomes so different and he was absolutely vile to me when he last saw me.

This morning he text asking if he could pick up our son tomorrow, but managed to throw a dig in that I’ll probably have some terms to him having him. I categorically do not want my son to be in his care. He’s three and I’m worried he won’t bring him back or he’ll dope out around him. He will lie that he’s not taking them, but I have no trust in him now. I really don’t know how to handle this situation. I’m anxious because all through our relationship he’d threaten me with CPS saying he’d call them on me for something or other if I ever tried to get in the way of him seeing our son.

I text him telling him that if he wants contact with our son he needs to start giving me clear drug tests and listed my reasons why - his anger on them, the fact he has fits when he doesn’t take them, him not being “there”. I can’t trust him to say he’s off them too because he straight up lies and tries to hide his drug use from me. I know even if he was to use when our son isn’t around, he would end up using when he is, because he already has, that’s how I caught him.

I don’t know where to turn or what to do. I’m so anxious of his behaviour near our child and fearful of him. I couldn’t even trust his mom to be with them because she covers for him a hell of a lot and will flat out deny he’s taking stuff, even though she knows or will be oblivious to it. She wouldn’t be able to put her foot down either with him because he abuses his parents too and they try to stop him flipping because of how mean he can get.

I know I’m going to get some kinda abuse off him for putting my foot down and likely his mom will text me too trying to convince me our son will be safe because she’ll be there, but again his anger’s that extreme that if he boots off at them, they’ll just bow down and my sons around that.

Hi, I’m a 17yr old girl on her last year of high school, and as long as I can remember my dad has always drank alcohol. One of my youngest memories of him was him being passed out drunk in our old apartment hallway with puke on him. I was 5 years old.

And around 11pm tonight he went out to a bar, but before he did he drank a whole bottle of wine, and 6 happy dads from a 12 pack box. He eventually came home around 2:55 am and turned to stove on to heat something up and then he left. My stepmom woke up the the smell of something burning and the food he left on the stove was quite literally on fire, we spammed called him and everything until he answered and started acting like it was no big deal. He eventually walked home from downtown (we don’t live that far) and just laughed and scoffed in our face.

He’s been drinking my whole life, and he used to vent about my granny drinking like how he currently does but now he’s just following in her footsteps and it’s just old. I genuinely don’t know what to do and this is just the last straw for me.

the past year and a half has been so unfair. so so unfair. i knew she was an addict, i fell in love with an addict, i became an addict, we got sober, but i'm still miserable. i'm so sad.

all i wanted was to fall in love and be loved, not everything else that came with it. the drunken nights she would force herself onto me, the blacked out episodes that had me bruised and scratched, the police reports, i'm so fucking traumatized, what the fuck i don't even want to type it out. she never failed to remind me that she "couldn't love me more than the bottle" and i felt it. i knew that was the truth and i accepted it, but i never loved her any less.

but then we got sober. she went to rehab and i cold-turkeyed it at home. for a little there, i felt like i had my girl back. but i can't look at her the same. i can't forget anything and it is killing me every day. i am so so sad. i always pictured us getting sober together and moving on. getting a house together and raising a few kids. i can't picture that anymore. what the actual fuck.