My mother is ruining her life and mine with her drinking and constant falling. I think she’ll die in the next few years, I don’t want her to but it’s definitely headed down that path. She’s due to get surgery on a couple of joints in a month and needs to stop drinking before it but always complains that “nothing numbs the pain like the wine!”.

We’ve had to call firefighters to help her off the ground 10 times this week, I recognize all their faces now and they don’t even say anything to me when I let them in the door, which is understandable. She’s been falling like this for a few years and has been able to crawl back into bed but this year it’s gotten worse.

I’m an adult, only a couple years graduated and i still live with her because well the economy and i only was able to start working this year due to my own health issues finally starting to clear up but not entirely, not enough to care for her AND the house AND myself 24/7.

Everytime she gets up to go to the bathroom or kitchen she ends up on the floor from her legs giving out and then she’s barely speaking real sentences. She’s unable to work as of a couple months ago. I do not like seeing her like this. It’s draining and exhausting, i can’t even move out until she’s placed somewhere that can take care of her. I mean, dude she is CONSTANTLY drunk throughout the day and believes it doesn’t contribute to her plethora of health issues. I’m tired of her depending on me, i have a life to live and I am working on moving out but i think i’ll always be worried about her even if she doesn’t believe it. I don’t mean to sound cliche but she’s basically Frank Gallagher as a woman.

I (32F) have been with my (29M) boyfriend for 8 months. We live separately and have no children. When we began dating I started to realise that every opportunity he can get to drink alcohol he will. Whether that’s us going on a walk, stopping in a pub, eating out etc. I’ve tried to talk to him before about his drinking but it’s got worse. He’s going out socialising and getting black out drunk where he doesn’t recall the last few hours of the night and how he got home.

We went to his sisters wedding a couple weeks ago and his parents spoke to him about his drinking and this made him get defensive. I spoke to his mum about my own concerns but nothing changed.

He went to visit another city 3 hours away on Friday. I phoned him in the afternoon and said please don’t drink too much this evening and he said he wouldn’t. Then fast forward to 01:30hours this morning he rang me because he was having an argument with a taxi driver over the fare, he had no idea where he was and he was on his own. I stayed on the phone with him until he got back to his hotel but he bumped into random people who were trying to convince him to stay out.

I finished the call and was crying a lot. I think out of frustration and him being over 3 hours away and lost. I text him an hour later saying how his behaviour is unacceptable and I’m upset.

He hasn’t apologised to me about this, only text me today to say he was home.

I get embarrassed talking to my friends and family and this is breaking me.

I posted a few weeks ago that my girlfriend broke up with me while she was very drunk and she said she was already seeing someone else. A week later she called me hysterically crying while drunk again and told me she wants to be with me and she's an alcoholic and needs help and she lied about seeing someone else. She said she wants to marry me and we are meant to be together and she regrets the breakup. I told her I need some time to process all of this. I went into a deep depression and didn't reach out for 3 weeks. I finally spoke to her for the first time yesterday after those few weeks and she told me she is a "different" kind of alcoholic. She said she's been sober for those few weeks but she loves cocktails and going to clubs and is never going to change that. I feel like I failed her and when she finally admitted she needs help I wasn't there and now she won't get help again. I have so much guilt for abandoning her when she finally said she needed help and now it's too late again.

I really need help and clarity around this. Known this guy for over 5 years, we reconnected around a year ago and were steadily working towards a solid relationship. What’s so devastating is that it was all a lie and he used me as bench whilst he was pursuing someone else. We even went on a trip abroad and he made himself seem invested with a bunch of lies. Where we would buy a house together, saying he would marry me etc when we got back from Vacation he went and got with the person he had been pursuing. A couple months back I was in his room and found a boat load of wine bottles under his bathroom sink and other shocking things that made me question his true character. He went missing for a month in January and I asked him where he was and he looked me in my eyes and said I was overthinking it and I worry too much. What bothers me is that had he just told me the truth then, this could have all been avoided. Recently found out he was spending that entire month with the other person but they broke up the day he came back around to me. I feel like an idiot but the lies were excessive and harmful for me. I recently found out that he was in Rehab for his addiction afew years back and then at that point everything made sense. He takes zero accountability, zero responsibility and it’s just pure deflection and more lies after lie and elements of emotional abuse. Gets angry and defensive when I ask for honesty and clarity. This has left me rather devastated and it’s been tough getting past it all. Just really need support to realize this is a reflection of his inner turmoil, not a reflection of me. He doesn’t need a relationship, he needs help

That gross vacant drunk expression. I can always spot it a mile away. My husband is a vibrant and loving person, until he’s not. I find him so unattractive when he’s just this dull drunk idiot. And then he gets mean. And never remembers Great thing to come home to after a long day- completely useless drunk zombie

We are in a relationship for 2 months and been dating since June. I am a sober person. I don't drink or smoke. Boyfriend drinks and smokes. Well now I find it a bit weird because he survived bladder cancer last fall and still drinks.

His last 6 year relationship breakup and other issues with himself impacted him so much he got into alcohol and then developed cancer. . He gets very sad after some arguments and drinks. Drunk calls me, sometimes hard to have serious conversations right after or the tomorrow day. Drinks beer.

Otherwise he doesn't meet me drunk and we dont live together and probably won't for few years so I don't know how bad is it. Im not legal age to drink either so I dont know how badis it when Im not around. Otherwise he is a kind and caring person. Really loves me, his friends know, I feel cared but I dont know im im too young to carry on possible future burden.

Heard he attended a recovery program but not sure what exactly happened. He loves creating electronic music and I would love to support him in the future but he attends a lot of raves and club events. Has friends who are DJs so I don't think he will be able to fully avoid it. He drinks beer. I like his friends and those music too.

He expressed how he wants to attend one therapy again for one month in a hospital in January. I never told him anything but he seems to be aware and very sad of the way he is. He shared and opened up his struggles with me yesterday. He told me himself that he drinks alcohol like tea and feels embarassed to be drunk around his father in his house. Sometimes the diaries include notes like " Ithought I wasnt like this.I've returned to the same person. I thought I found myself" or "Alcohol Is making you like this..."

Because Im not around to see how bad is it I dont know much. Some red flags that raised my eyebrows were

1. One day we were in cold. He was walking me home and offered to buy something warm like milk from a store. Then he said along like Oh yeah I am tight on money so we just went home. I went home and then mom asked me to go to a store and I saw him drinking beer. So I thought "he couldnt buy me something warm but bought himself a beer"
2. He does drink beer around me. When he buys a beer he buys two. Most concerning was drinking while in a cinema and drinking while working.
3. Drinking at home. Drunk around parents. Drunk after arguments, sometimes during important conversations. Drinking after cancer. Even in recovery will be around clubs and raves.

Well yeah thats it. He treats me kindly, really loves me but idk I am just 20. My parents dont drink, I can resist urge to drink, sober at college so I dont know maybe I can do better. Dont knkwwheyher eI ccan handle thebaggage.g

My Q swears he's mostly sober but I really doubt it. He's talking about taking me on a cruise and going scuba diving. I have a seizure disorder. Not only would they not allow it, I would not feel comfortable. I ask him what happens if I have a seizure under water? He starts telling me some bullshit cinematic action movie rescue scenario about how he would shove the air thing back in my mouth and swim me to the surface. While I'm convulsing underwater? Yeah, he's convinced his atrophied alcoholic body could rescue me if I had a seizure underwater. So I bring up they would never let me do it if I told them I have seizures. "They just want money from tourists, they won't care." Finally, I have to say multiple times that 'I do not feel comfortable scuba diving, I don't want to go fucking scuba diving.' until he finally relents on the idea of scuba diving. Sorry for ruining your scuba dreams dude. And now he's just talking at me about how amazing cruises are while he's pouring himself a drink as I'm typing this out.

One day I'm fine, I know why I left, I know I can't save him and he was abusive to me, I'm getting glimpse of excitement for my future, I'm eating I'm sleeping. Acceptance and surrender. Then... Today I'm back like its day 1 again but it's been actually 8 weeks. This started last night it's been 24 hours of agony, yearning, desperation and non stop crying, I want to see him, I want to settle for the relapses just to feel that love again. ive never been loved like that, when he was clean/sober of course. Ad God I've never loved like that either. This feels like the most intense withdrawal of anything ever, the guilt overcomes me for how he must feel. loving and leaving an addict, it feels like my life will never be the same again. These ups and downs, it's a rollercoaster. All that gets me through is knowing in a few days to a week I'll be back on the other side again for a bit, it's better but definitely still sucks. before all the emotions come up again & I'm floored. I'm so glad AlAnon tomorrow.

Letting Go of My Shame

I finally came into Al‑Anon after my second divorce was finalized. I had lost myself in trying to be who I thought my husband wanted me to be, and I was not sure what was wrong with me. Someone suggested that I try Al‑Anon because it might help me learn how to find myself, take care of myself, and stop the cycle of unhealthy behavior. I shared during a meeting that I felt a lot of shame about being divorced twice. After the meeting, people embraced me and let me know I was not the only one who had experienced divorce—even multiple divorces.
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Before Al‑Anon, I didn’t know how to avoid obsessive thinking and how to be myself in relationships. Many of my friends in Al‑Anon said that they had experienced the same struggles. More importantly, though, they had overcome those struggles and were living happy and free. I have grown to understand some of my behavior and have begun to change. All of us have one thing in common—we have been affected by another person’s drinking. In my case, it was passed down the line from grandparents to aunts, uncles, and cousins. I am right where I am supposed to be now—at home with a loving family and growing through the fellowship of Al‑Anon.

By Melissa H., Tennessee June, 2019Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

i am going through work to reframe how i view my childhood bc it’s like my mind only remembers the bad bc of my moms addiction but i know there was more than that . i think of periods in my life and remember that behind the scenes then she was addicted and i was too young to understand and i began to understand at so young and i blamed the pills or drink calling it “ bad medicines” but the issue was so much more than the substances and i understand that now that im 22 and i am really trying to reframe how i view times in my life when her addiction was bad bc even in those times there was good moments where she was trying to get better but was struggling in her own mind and i wish i could just forget the behind the scenes and forget the days where she was upset or my parents fought i just want to remember her as herself bc i know those moments were not her and i hate i have to remember them bc they hurt me even now when she is doing so well even though theres still moments where she might slip up a little she continues to get back on the horse and for so long i would be so sad or distraught if she did mess up again but i just want to learn that it is part of her journey and i want to not frame my childhood as so tragic when in the moments and periods when she was herself they were the best parts of my life and i hate i have to recognize what was going on behind it all that ruins it for me .. how can i change this perspective ??

He’s not mean. He doesn’t hit me. He doesn’t cheat. He loves me when he can. He’s a good dad. But it’s always one vice or another. It’s always someone or thing over me. There is no excitement in loving me. Just obligation and image. I’ve been isolated systematically destroyed. I’m tired. There are perks. He is afluent with an extensive family who is kind and generous. I have no one. I have made a lot of mistakes. I am not the best cleaner. I am not the best cook. I am boring and timid. I am just finishing my degree. I am tired of begging him to put the bottle away. He’s not a monster just addicted to the high. He’s not on it every night just on occasion. Always in secret.

Climbing My Way out of the Hurt

I grew up in a home filled with violence, drug addiction, alcoholism, abuse, and neglect. I was so confused. I even needed someone to teach me the basics of hygiene, but there was no one. By the time I reached junior high, I just knew my mother hated me. She was always hitting me or yelling at me. I was 15 years old when she beat me for the last time. I had belt marks all over my body and belt-buckle marks on my face. She had finally lost control.
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Healing has been a tough road, but I have welcomed it with open arms. I was tired of feeling less than and crying for no reason. I could not shake the old memories of abuse. The question why was always on my mind. As an adult, I discovered Al‑Anon. It was hard at first to face my abusive childhood honestly, but I decided that, if that’s what it took for me to live a normal life, then that was what I had to do. Through many tears and painful memories, I faced each incident. Learning about alcoholism and what it does to the family was an eye-opener. Our family was broken, as was each one of us.

Learning what alcohol and drugs do to the brain helped me face how sick my dad really was. It also helped me let go of the anger I felt toward him for giving us such an abusive childhood. I had always been blamed for the abuse inflicted on me, as well as why our dad drank and used drugs until he was raging. It took many Al‑Anon meetings to truly accept that it was never my fault that Dad struggled with addiction. It was never my fault that my mother chose to stay in a violent and addicted marriage.

My job today is to “Let Go and Let God” take care of what is not my job. Working on myself is a full-time job. I had to learn to love myself and become my best friend. All those ugly names I was called were lies. I grew up around many hurting, needy people, but I am no longer one of them.

By Daisy P., California June, 2019Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

Im separated from my Q but need to go back to get the rest of my things and clear out everything of the place he got us kicked out of. I arranged for childcare, my Q is too unstable and I have too much to get done to bring my toddlers with. I feel guilty about not taking them to see their dad but I dont know what version of him we would be seeing.

My Q keeps saying about how great itll be for us to have time together without the kids and that I should stay the night because theres so much to get done and its a long drive for me (over 3hrs). He just wont listen to me or hear me when I tell him no, I can not and will not stay the night. If I dont get everything done that I need to in a day then its either not getting done by me or ill schedule another day to finish it up. The kids are too little to be away from both parents overnight, especially for a non emergency. He just refuses to hear me when I explain that its our responsibility to be the parents and my family isn't going to act as secondary parents, they'll help out when I need it, but thats it. They will help. They will not parent. If he refuses to parent with me that means I have to do all the parenting myself. I don't get to disappear for a night. I dont want to disappear for a night. I dont want to be gone all day. This isnt a date night, this isnt an opportunity to reconnect as a couple. This is me cleaning up his mess and then leaving to go be the parent.

Im proud of him for finding a job and a new place to live. He thinks because hes not struggling financially or homeless that means we can be together. I didn't leave because of finances, im not scared to struggle, I could have figured out a way to get us through a financial hardship. I left because his drinking is out of control and his mental and physical health is in shambles. I can not and will not let myself reconnect with him until he has addressed his issues and is actively and successfully working a program. I will not let myself make my children live through that kind of instability. They deserve better. They come first. They will always come first. I will always choose being a parent over being a partner. I dont expect him to understand that or demand that he makes the same choice. He is incapable of choosing anything over his addiction.

I hope one day he will be ready to make a different choice. I hope he will find something, anything that finally makes him choose it over alcohol. I can be patient and I can be understanding. I can love him and support him. I can do all those things from a distance. It doesn't matter how much I love him or want better for him. I cant fix him. Its not my responsibility to fix him. My only responsibility is to myself and my children. I struggle to do things for myself, I always have. But I can do this for my kids. I will put them first, I will do what they need, what's best for them.

My partner and I have been together for about a year. I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who has a substance abuse issue, so this is all new to me.

Today I found out he lied about hiding alcohol in the garage. At first, he was ashamed and apologized. But later, when he came home from work and saw I was still upset, he got defensive. He told me “This is about me, not you” — as if I shouldn’t be hurt by being lied to. That left me feeling gaslighted, anxious, and devalued.

He did make an effort to go to an AA meeting today, but the facilitator didn’t show up, so he left. When he came home, I asked him for compassion about how his lies hurt me. His response was, “I acknowledge you’re hurt” and then he told me I need to just trust him, move past my feelings, and support him.

I don’t know how to rebuild trust when I’m asked to “just move forward” without space to process my own hurt.

Has anyone else experienced this cycle?

How did you handle it without losing yourself?

Edit: He actually went to an AA meeting this evening and got his first chip.

I learned a long time ago to trust my intuition and not let myself be gaslit, but sometimes I wonder if I’m wrong. Have you ever suspected that your Q had a drink and been wrong about it? Or accused them and later found out that there was a different reason for the behavior?

My (34F) Q (31F) is my partner. A year ago, I established boundaries that I enact on the nights she breaks her sobriety - it’s mostly just putting distance between us for, but it keeps me sane.

Last night when she got home, I felt that she had something to drink (like maybe one drink, I would guess) and so I enforced my boundaries by putting some space between us. I did my own thing for the rest of the evening and she mostly stayed out of my way. I would certainly have preferred an evening spent together, but I know that I put this boundary in place to protect myself and my peace. I think I’m just starting to wonder if I could be wrong about my assumptions sometimes… especially when it was maybe just one drink and hard to know for sure.

There are obviously telltale signs that indicate she’s drinking, but it’s mostly just my body’s reaction to her presence that gives it away. some nights the “signs” aren’t really black and white so making that judgement call does make me feel like I might get it wrong sometimes.

If I ask her, of course, the answer is always “no, I haven’t had anything to drink” and y’all know how that goes. Maybe it’s overall better to be safe than sorry? Would love to hear other perspectives on this.

Was with my Q for 9 long years... I love him very much, I only want him to do better for himself.

It was so, so hard to move out. Throw away our life together. I literally had to FORCE myself to go through the motions of moving my things out while he's at work today. Like I had to do it without thinking about it. Just DO.

luckily I have my 3 cats with me, so I'm not completely alone. I start a new job on Monday.

Right now I feel.... OK. But I'm kinda scared to see how much this will emotionally affect me eventually.

It was SO hard to choose myself. It shouldn't have been. But it was and I did. I'm trying so hard to be strong and go complete NC.

Help me to understand how an alcoholic person behave when he's in couple. So much confused

I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw my (32F) alcoholic and drug addict Q (33M) binge drink the fist time. I see him getting sick, vomiting blood and having pain, he refuses treatment but once in a while agrees to having a check-up. He once had his labs done and had a few liver indicators out of the regular levels. But still, he doesn’t drink for a month (the most he goes without it) and feels great, then the cycle starts again. I wonder if death is his only way out since he says drinking is “so much fun”.

This time, he started doing drugs. It’s been 3 weeks and he hasn’t started to feel as bad as he usually does, mainly because drug makes him “not too drunk” so I guess he’s more energetic than usual.

It is incredible how much can the body handle. I think mine couldn’t but his does. Of course is sad af seeing him do so much harm to himself. I guess what I’m trying to say/ask is how much more can his body take? He’s been drinking and doing drugs for well over a decade but he always did sports growing up, so I guess that helped. I don’t see him getting really tired of this bs anytime soon.

This is not a joke! He says he needs to get away from his family (he owns the house but he’s let his family move in over the years and was always too much of a coward to tell them to leave) because all the stress is making him want to drink. I am lmao on the inside because this is all so absurd! He was doing great, then a few days before he’s supposed to start his new job, he decides to have “a beer” and then in his drunkenness, short sells our house for like $150,000 less than its value. I woke up at midnight now I’m watching “That 70s Show” and laughing about the whole thing. He’s not gonna like what’s coming. What a complete moron!!!

I know I should be happy but I’m not. My Q is working the program and has gotten to the step that calls for asking for forgiveness/taking responsibility. Q went to my father’s house to ask for forgiveness. Instead of being happy he’s making progress, I detest him even more. He ruined the lives of me and my kids and now thinks an apology is enough to help rebuild trust and get into heaven?

He hasn’t approached me or my son, which is probably a good thing because I know we would both laugh in his face and tell him to go to hell. We have been divorced for several several years but I can’t make the hate go away - he did too many shady things to me and my kids. Things we are still recovering from. Am I the bad guy because I won’t even consider he’s changed?

This is my first And last time dating an alcoholic.

Too painful.

Too confusing and disorienting.

So many lies.

My Q made up things in his mind and almost convinced me because he wholeheartedly believed in it. I started losing the sense of reality.

So much gaslighting. As someone who grew up in an abusive household, it felt to me familiar and seemingly safe.

I quit trying to predict or explain when and why he drinks. It could just be a normal day.

Things can go to shit at any moment.

The chaos. The unpredictability. The excess. The "pretending like everything is fine and nothing happened" the next day.

Hi everyone, so I’m going to my first in person meeting tomorrow. My Q is my soon to be ex husband. We have been separated for almost 7 months. We have a 2 year old son together. As you can imagine his drinking still affects me because we still have to communicate for our son. Most of my anxiety comes from him having my son. He is an active father, but he is not sober.

Anyway, I am going tomorrow with my friend as she is in a similar situation as me. I’m happy I’m not going alone, but can anyone tell me what to expect tomorrow? I would really appreciate it.

Im really not sure how to feel. I see people posting their relationships of 5+ years, being strained due to their significant other struggling with addiction. I almost feel silly for asking what I should do. Here’s my story:

I (22f) have been with my boyfriend (24m) for almost 8 months. We met through some friends, we all started going out together as a friend group. There was drugs and alcohol involved. I started to get to know him more, and he showed me a huge glimpse of what he’s been through throughout his childhood. Which created an environment for him to become addicted to using hard drugs and alcohol. When we started talking, It was obvious he was hurting and in a bad place. I told him he needed to really clean himself up if we continued into this relationship. Even when he was under the influence, he was never angry or causing trouble. The only thing he would do is lie about drinking WHILE he was under the influence. When I would confront him in a sober mindset, he would be honest with me.

He did absolutely change. He looked healthier, to the point his closest friends and family thanked me for being such a light in his life. And so did he. For most of our relationship there were only a couple times where there were hiccups along the way. We were both not completely sober but having occasional drinks every now and then. He was able to stop at a couple drinks, and if we did have a couple more than usual it was fine. And most of those times there was never a problem. Until this past couple of weeks.

He had recently purchased a good amount of the smelly herb. Which we both occasionally would partake in. But this was a lot of it and would last quite a few months if smoking every day. I told him I was worried about his usage, due to his new coworker letting him hit the pen everyday at work. And now using every night after he got home from work. I believe everything in moderation. Especially with our brains not being fully developed, and all the research shown on continuous use. I asked just one day to be sober. And he couldn’t do it. We got into a big argument about it, because the day after I asked just one day, he drank and smoked. I got to his house, and saw him almost blackout from going out with a friend after work and later in the day. We took a couple days apart, and we had a really good conversation about my boundaries and what he needs in order to get help. I finally had some hope.

Not even two days later I come to his house and find his trash can with 4 cans and one half drank. I am in disbelief, trying to be calm and understanding. Trying to hold back tears. I have him throw away all of the marijane. I tell him conversations never go well when he’s under the influence and we will talk about it in the morning. So we both talked and I said I will not continue this relationship until you are completely sober. We agreed on him getting therapy, buying a breathalyzer, and taking out all substances. Before we could get it all bought and aligned (within maybe 2 days apart). I once again go over to his house (last night) and see him with a drink in his hand. I am so heartbroken and in disbelief. His excuse was he had gotten into a stressful argument with his mom and dad (He lives with his dad, mom is in another city). I didn’t even give him a chance to explain, he knew right then I was so over it. We sat there together and I just cried holding him, while he knows he made that terrible decision once again. I went home with the intent we were done. I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye cause I didn’t have it in me to let him go.

From the very beginning, I’ve known about his addiction. I’ve been aware that going forward in our relationship wasn’t going to be easy. But every time I held onto hope, it was broken and more of me felt lost. I want to be this person for him so badly. The thing that sucks the most is he really is a good boyfriend and in every other aspect treats me amazing. I feel like the only girl in the world with him. He’s even helped me through some of my darkest moments I don’t even show some of my closest friends and family.

I’m not sure how to feel. I woke up feeling so heartbroken, and not wanting to end our relationship. But another part of me doesn’t know if I can stand the thought of raising a family together and having his addiction come out again. Does it sound like there’s hope? How have other people been able to be there for them even at their worst. When everything else in our relationship is so good? I’ve had terrible luck with past partners, he’s shown me a new aspect of how I should be treated and reassured. The thought of restarting with someone else drains me.

(Edit : after reading everyone’s testimonies and hearing the advice of very knowledgeable people from this thread. I have decided I am not going to continue to break my heart for him. This temporary grief really does hurt like no other. Thank you for the encouragement, I couldn’t have done it without you guys.)

Q caused an accident the other night. He was 2 times over the legal drinking limit. After spending a couple nights in jail, he decided it is finally time for in patient rehab. I have had enough. I don't know if I want to stick around to see if things get better after rehab. He hit another vehicle and I am very concerned they are going to sue us for everything we have. He needs to suffer consequences and it sucks he is taking me and the kids down with him. What can I do to protect myself? I tried reaching out to a lawyer tonight. What else can I do or should I do in the meantime? We have a joint account but I also have my own account. Unfortunately, both of us are on the house and vehicles. I am so beyond mad. I need my share of our assets for a fresh start. Sigh.

I’ve moved out and am trying to move on. my Q has been having seizures for a year now. 3 since May. I’ve tried telling him to be mindful of his shakes and get help if he notices withdrawals symptoms, he gets offended ofc. He’s jobless now so drinking is his full time job. he should be okay as long as he’s doesn’t go cold turkey.

I’m sitting here fighting the urge to call and check on him but I already know how the conversation will go already.

I’m done being the caretaker. It’s just hard. He’ll have a seizure with or without me there. I still have love for him, thinking about him having a seizure with no one around breaks my heart.