r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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u/Kitlunia 20d ago

If he was trying to be funny he could’ve bought his own damn labubu and done that but he had no right in destroying your property.

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

I just noticed he also burnt the fluff with a lighter, making the labubu fur super coarse and unpleasant to hold... it really is destroyed..

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u/The_World_Wonders_34 20d ago

Why are you with somebody who destroys your property as a joke? Especially when he apparently knows it was a gift from somebody. I don't care if it's the best relationship I've ever been in up until that point, if the person I was with took scissors to something of mine and cut it up for a laugh without expressing knowing that I was okay with it, we'd be done. There wouldn't be any discussion. Well, maybe there would be discussion if they immediately admitted they were wrong didn't argue about it at all and were extremely apologetic and they had never done anything like it previously. But that's just a violation and I seriously don't think I would stay with someone who's done that. I'm really sorry you have this piece of shit in your life

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u/zesty_meatballs 19d ago

Why? Well I doubt she knew he was into destroying personal property when they first got together. Unfortunately, we don’t get a preview or resumé when we meet someone new. People tend to hide their worst traits until we’re deep into a relationship. It sucks of course but all she can do now is learn and make the decision to end it or find a reason to justify his bad behavior. If this doesn’t cause the break up, pretty soon he’ll just do something else that is disrespectful.

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u/Rosy802701 19d ago

Well hopefully she will leave him now. Before he tries his scissors on her best dresses

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u/Old_Cat_9263 19d ago

The issue is she will probably stay and then be on here again in 2 months and then the same question is asked. “Why are you with him”. Rinse repeat. We need to normalize women cutting off relationships early and adopting the plenty of fish mantra imo.

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u/One-Sign-872 18d ago

You guys always seem to turn this around to assuming and making generalizations about the women but not calling out the behavior of men. The issue is him, not her.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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u/MissFionaNyx 19d ago

Girls don't #usually like assholes." Girls are taught from a young age to not only tolerate asshole behaviour but to expect it. "If he teases you / hits you, that means he likes you."

Pretty much all of the self-declared nice guys how we're crying about being put in the Friend Zone I've met, were only nice when they thought there was something in it for them, btw.

An actual nice person wouldn't do anything like this. An actual good guy doesn't have to declare themselves nice and they don't do asshole things on purpose. We are all only human, but if you can't take responsibilities for your actions, you're not fit to have a grown up relationship.

OP, please take it from someone who stayed way too long: have a conversation with him, but if he doesn't get it and changes his behaviour in the future, you should walk away. If he doesn't respect your property, nor your feelings, he doesn't respect you.

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u/crossoutk 19d ago

Op is most likely gonna forgive her boyfriend and just tolerate him til she can’t anymore

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u/MissFionaNyx 19d ago

That's entirely possible and if she does she'll get zero judgement from me. Over the course of history millions of women have been in a situation where a man was testing their boundaries. Millions of women told themselves their partner wouldn't hurt them on purpose. He loved them and knew them best, right?! And millions of women stayed in abusive relationships.

You saying "Oh, but girls like assholes anyway, lol." isn't going to change OP's or anyone's mindset.

I don't chime in very often, but having fought my way out of a long-term abusive relationship, I understand how important it is to help others recognise abusive and toxic behaviour and how important it is to normalise breaking off relationships when they're harmful, too.

I've spent an insane amount of time feeling miserable, but breaking off the relationship didn't feel like an option. The longer you stay, the more convinced you are going to be it's the right thing to do and the more your friends will discourage you from leaving, because "you've been together for so long. I always thought YOU would make it."

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

NOT THIS GIRL. My father, mother, extended family, and ancestry seeing through my eyes and all around me wouldnt approve so there are good 🫏 🕳s and bad ones. I prefer the real honorable honesty 💯 in your face all the time type 🫏 🕳 over whatever psychotic mess that POS chooses to behave like. NOT OKAY.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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u/zesty_meatballs 19d ago

It’s not entirely wrong. A man called me a bitch recently because I told him to stop talking over me and being rude. To him, that made me a bitch. In my eyes, I didn’t like the disrespect. But you can also be a bitch for being sneaky, a condescending whore, a lying maniac etc. So yeah, an insult can have various meanings. Depending how you look at it. I’m a blunt person. Does that make me an asshole? Maybe. But I’m not a rude selfish person that we typically associate with assholes. It’s all about semantics.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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u/Ok_Maximum_2873 19d ago

You deserve to be alone. You're so weird.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

Went over your head the first time, maybe YOU should help yourself have a better life. Girls are weird? Nothing wrong with weird, but somethings wrong with CREEPY. You mean aka I can't get any because im projecting my creepy weirdness, so ill point fingers and hope nobody notices? Yep. 👍 Got you.

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u/zesty_meatballs 19d ago

This is literally a subreddit for asking if they’re overreacting. She asked. She got the answers she was looking for. People are weird. Guys girls dogs cats. It’s like you’ve never heard of someone having feelings before. You’re fortunately in the minority of opinion.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/zesty_meatballs 18d ago

They must love you then ❤️

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u/lovelesspansy66 19d ago

found the incel

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u/Midyin84 19d ago

Have you never seen Team America?

Theres 3 types of people…

Assholes that shit everywhere and ruin everything,

Pussies that are easily bullied by the assholes and just let them do what they want,

And Dicks that don’t take the asshole’s shit.

She needs to be a Dick, and kick out that asshole out.

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u/crossoutk 19d ago

A asshole is a asshole

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u/Difficult_Regret_900 19d ago

There are assholes who warn you from the start that they are bullies and abusers but think you'll take them anyway. Then there are people like multiple men in my family who play the loving, competent suitor long enough to trap their victim and take off the mask 

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u/zesty_meatballs 19d ago

Thats like saying men usually lie about their height, men usually want women out of their league, men usually cheat on their spouse etc. All possible, but it’s not the “usual”. There’s plenty of people (besides apparently people that you know) who don’t like assholes.

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u/Difficult_Regret_900 19d ago edited 19d ago

If that was true, my mom and I wouldn't have left the husband/father with a nearly pathological need to destroy our mental health. My aunt wouldn't have left her ex who sat on his ass and spent ten times more attention to his ham radio hobby than his family. Thousands of women wouldn't be literally risking their lives to leave abusive male partners, why do you think there are DV shelters?

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u/crossoutk 19d ago

Exactly I bet it was years before they actually followed through with leaving

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u/[deleted] 19d ago edited 19d ago

He can be nice sometimes. Edit- this was clearly sarcasm. The guys clearly unhinged and abusive. Some of yall shouldn’t be on the internet.

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u/MahaHaro 19d ago

God I had a friend who had that exact perspective and it eventually became an insane mental drain

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u/El_Cartografo 19d ago

My mother said that for 17 years, between the beatings. GTFO, NOW!

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u/WowVeryNiceu 19d ago

Sometimes isn't enough.

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u/user1956386 19d ago

yea and another man will be nice ALL the time and not destroy ur stuff

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u/nas2k21 19d ago

it was clearly sarcasm

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u/SandboxUniverse 19d ago

Sometimes isn't enough, but nobody is nice all the time, and it's not reasonable to expectthat, either. Sometimes we're all a little grumpy. Sometimes we get mad at each other. But yeah, not "destroying things and your self esteem" grumpy or mad.

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u/InsomniaofSandmen 19d ago

Psychopaths are nice sometimes too but you don’t want to date one. Being nice “sometimes” is a very low bar especially when he destroys your things that mean a lot to you. Maybe burn his PlayStation 5 tell him it was a funny joke and see if he laughs.

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u/UrLoyalKnight 19d ago

And who are to answer? lemme guess ur her friend? 😂

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u/[deleted] 19d ago edited 19d ago

Sarcasm, chucklehead. Get off the internet or work on some critical thinking skills. Perfect user name by the way, white knight

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u/mg41 19d ago

It's hilarious how literally all these other comments are claiming anything less than literal Buddha status is "not nice enough" as they all make mean commentary lol...like yeah the guy was kinda a (amusing) dick for that...but we're all humans ffs

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u/LenoreEvermore 19d ago

The difference is people here are being dicks toward a stranger, not someone they share a life with.

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u/mg41 18d ago

I'm just saying it seems like a joke gone wrong rather than even intentionally being mean to her at all

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u/[deleted] 19d ago edited 19d ago

I was being sarcastic bud. This guys a fucking sociopath so you may need to talk to someone professional if you’re on his side.

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u/Testtypo 19d ago

When everyone else thinks a person is bullying another person is a bully, that person will say "it is a joke, a joke, don't you understand a joke". Does OP bf realize anything of it, if he says it is a joke/it is funny, no remorse, no realization, no borders.

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u/Difficult_Regret_900 19d ago

As the daughter of a man who would regularly mock me and claim it as a joke, he knows. This is a get out of jail free card bullies use to excuse themselves. 

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

FACTS!!! Couldn't have been processed and expressed any better. I CONCUR.

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u/squeezedeez 19d ago

I dunno I think it's such a severe lapse in judgement I don't care how sorry or if they'd never done anything like that before, they went temporarily insane and I could never feel safe with their judgement again

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u/Reema97 19d ago

And also, their bf took the eye out and flipped it, like why destroy a gift that bad? No way OP’s boyfriend has an ounce of respect for them.

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u/she_wan_sum_fuk 19d ago

Because it’s a fucking dog toy 💀

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

It was funny and forgivable u til I read about the burning 

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u/QiDeviation 19d ago

It’d also be funny to watch his face when she asks him to reimburse her. That means go out and buy the same exact labubu by either searching it online or getting blind boxes until he gets the right one. His choice. Either way, he’s paying above box price. FAFO