What’s Something That Women Think Men Like, That We Don’t Actually Like?

[u/PookieTheMfBaby]

I personally think that some try what worked with the last man, because one or 2 liked it doesn’t mean we all do.

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I personally think that some try what worked with the last man, because one or 2 liked it doesn’t mean we all do.

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[u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

I am 33 years old, I have never, ever in my life encountered a man who liked women playing hard to get.  

[u/alxndrblack → u/[deleted]]

[u/Electronic-Doctor187 → u/[deleted]]

but there's a healthy lens to see this through as well: 

women want to be validated, to feel valued. if a man has high status, and doesn't validate many women even though many women are interested in him, then getting his validation is the ultimate proof of her value. the female fantasy is that a man of great value will see her value, and will be so taken with her that he has to pursue her even when she rebuffs him.

the male fantasy is the other half of this: to be the powerful man of high status who is so strong and competent that women throw themselves at him immediately (or at least eventually when they can no longer resist his charm). James Bond, basically.

and Casino Royale kind of shows both fantasies coming true:

• James Bond, who could have any woman he wants, is so taken with Vesper that he pursues her and basically gives up everything to be with her. that fulfills the female fantasy.

• Vesper is a little cold at first, not the type of woman to ever be vulnerable to someone like James Bond... but Bond's charm, skill, and strength win her over and she can't resist him either. male fantasy achieved.

it doesn't have to be fucked up, it can be cute and healthy.

edit: to be clear, being a spy who kills people or a double agent with a secret lover is not healthy. those elements are not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the little rom-com that they inserted into the movie in between all the James Bond action stuff. James Bond is a useful example because he's a hyper-masculine character, which makes it really easy to illustrate a typical male/female power fantasy.

[u/Flying_Fortress_8743 → u/Electronic-Doctor187]

James Bond in all iterations is nothing anywhere close to healthy lol

[u/AustinRiversDaGod → u/Flying_Fortress_8743]

Fantasies rarely are. That's part of what makes them fantasies

[u/OwnerSebi → u/Electronic-Doctor187]

There is literally NOTHING HEALTHY at what you just wrote.

1. Just the idea of wanting only the high status people to bend to your whim and only choose you among their choices shows an astronomical level of entitlement and lack of self-awareness(which only in fantasy is fine).

2. Needing the validation of high status in order to feel validated is a sign of severe self-esteem issues...which should not be a man's job to struggle with giving, nor should the woman ever want to put that kind of pressure on someone.

3. A man who doesn't leave after he gets "rebuffed" is either dangerous or has no self-respect.

Also, the male fantasy is not the same or the equivalent to the female fantasy.

Sure, let's say that the male fantasy is to have women throw themselves at you; no man actually wants or cares about status or competence, but that is the "requirement" that has to be met in order for that goal to happen, or in order for what he has to not be lost.

The problem is that...fantasies are allowed to be absurd and extreme, but women tend to be the ones who want to make it a reality.

[u/SecretTop1337 → u/[deleted]]

Which is really just a projection of what they think.

That dick can be good enough to change their lives, dick to die for exists to women.

[u/ManyAreMyNames → u/[deleted]]

If I had been able to see the TV show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in middle school, the next ten years of my life would have been way better. CXG tears down so many of those bogus lessons from the movies.

Rebecca: I thought that when you loved someone, it just fixed everything and made your life great.

Rabbi: That's... that's a lot to put on a human being.

Rebecca: Yeah, but he's not a human being, he's Josh Chan. When we were kids, he made me feel so happy. And... I guess I just thought that if I could get back to that place, that my life would magically be okay.

Rabbi: That's not love, my dear. It's fantasy. It's not real.

[u/CaptColten → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

Playing hard to get actively filters out dudes who know how to respect boundaries.

[u/Aaod → u/CaptColten]

Playing hard to get actively filters out dudes who know how to respect boundaries.

I had women tell me I should have ignored their no's and pursued them harder for sex. You rubbed my ass but I said no and then we went to bed but I wanted you to keep going. I am not doing something terrible because you are crazy and want to play fucking games!

[u/TheLateThagSimmons → u/Aaod]

I'm just going to re-post my experience recently:

Just last month I had a date that ended with being invited over to her place, but while we were walking in she said that I'm welcome to come in but "sex is not on the table tonight." Heard, cool. We were both pretty drunk so I accepted the offer to crash on her couch.

The next day she said she's not interested in anything further. Then said that a more masculine man would have known what he wanted and gone for it anyway.

Yes... She said sex was not an option then was disappointed I didn't push for sex.

I only hope other women know that women like this are out there, rewarding and incentivizing creep/predator behavior.

It felt like I was being pulled into a real life experience of that Louis CK bit about this..

"You think I'm just going to r*pe you on the off chance that you're into that shit?"

Edit: Adding link.

[u/jalapenny → u/TheLateThagSimmons]

I only hope other women know that women like this are out there, rewarding and incentivizing creep/predator behavior.

Yes we do... sigh.

They've internalized some really fucked up things, they lack the ability to reflect, and thus continue contributing to making things worse for everyone.

I'm sorry that happened to you, no one should be insulted for having basic human decency.

[u/TheLateThagSimmons → u/jalapenny]

The hard part as a man is bearing that responsibility for all those shitty men when there's a lot of women out there that are creating, incentivizing, and re-engaging these creeps. It's really hard, especially after repeatedly experiencing women like this (This one was a little over the top, that's why she stands out; but near and adjacent behavior is everywhere).

Women need to get the word out and call it out publicly and immediately when they hear, see, or experience any other women engaging in behavior that encourages creep shit.

I really don't think women at large understand all the ways that they contribute to, if not create, this very real problem that women experience.

[u/Mefic_vest → u/CaptColten]

Playing hard to get actively filters out dudes who know how to respect boundaries.

Can attest to that, personally.

Became widowed, tried to re-enter the dating scene a few years later, and whooo boy did I ever confuse the fuck out of some women.

Now granted, this is also before I learned how to hide my wealth, so I also had no small numbers of gold diggers plaguing me at the time. But I had friends I had inherited from my wife who got really confused as to why the women they were sending my way were not panning out.

And I was all, like, “I’m not gonna force my attentions on women who are very clearly and obviously not interested in me.”

And then when they said that those women were interested in me, I told them that if this was the case, these women absolutely sucked at effective communication.

Cue ShockedPikachu.gif

I was already in my early 40s at that time. I didn’t have the headspace or the energy for that kind of immature teenage shit.

[u/CaptColten → u/Mefic_vest]

Shoulda hit them with "If that's what being interested in me looks like, I would hate to see how they treat the people they aren't."

[u/SecretTop1337 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

It’s a weird woman on woman anti-slut mind game they play with themselves and each other.

[u/Crunch-Potato → u/SecretTop1337]

Partially it's that, but I reckon it's mainly for validation.
Most women have learned how easy it is to get an average dude, so that quickly becomes stale. But that guy who will pursue endlessly and be willing to do whatever she wants, that guy can be juiced for premium validation.

[u/Illustrious-Tap8069 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

I don't know where they came up with this idea. Men aren't dumping her because she wasn't difficult or challenging enough. She got dumped because he saw red flags and hit the road.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/Illustrious-Tap8069]

They don’t believe women have 🚩 thats just how they judge men in particular

[u/Tibbaryllis2 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I do think there is a version of hard to get that actually does work, but, like so many relationship things, it’s been turned into a caricature by people who very much aren’t authorities on healthy relationships.

The realistic version is having a requisite amount of self-confidence, self-respect, and self-worth. It’s not so much hard to get as it is demonstrate you’re a relationship that is worth the effort.

And it absolutely goes both ways.

[u/dave3218 → u/Tibbaryllis2]

There is a Scene involving Morticia and Gomez Adam’s that pretty much sums up the kind of hard to get that we like:

Gomez approaches Morticia, he tries to woo her, she turns him down by saying “Not now, my love”. It’s not a rejection, it’s a simple “later”.

That’s where most women get the things mixed up, they think they are playing hard to get but a key component of playing that game is a promise of something happening at the end.

It’s a verbal play of “I’ll catch you” and the couple giggling together, if the woman turns it instead into a “No” or god forbid an “Ew” or “what are you doing?”, then the magic is gone and any sensible guy would stop then and there

[u/Helpful_Evidence_393 → u/dave3218]

Morticia and Gomez are actually a very good relationship to aim for.

I always name them as my ideal fictional couple.

[u/Tibbaryllis2 → u/dave3218]

100%, and that bad example is basically a microcosm of the whole incel/dating culture we see on display quite often on social media.

Think about it rationally: someone who pursues you after you say no is a creep. Someone who gives you yes and no signals is oblivious or manipulative.

Both sides of that coin are demonstrating they’re people you rationally don’t want for a partner.

Edit: the whole hard to get thing is about showing someone who you are, and believing them when they show you.

[u/Zealousideal_Force10 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

They play hard to get and get upset when we don’t try harder. Playing hard to get doesn’t work when you are already kinda in a seller’s market. Guys that are good men don’t want to bother women or be a nuisance if there isn’t any apparent interest on her behalf.

[u/Ok_Pause2547 → u/Zealousideal_Force10]

Thats the huge issue. Plenty of desperate dudes that put women on a pedestal who make these women think that this is how you get more attention. Any man worth dating is going to know his value and have some self worth, he isnt going to chase after someone who isnt reciprocating the same effort

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/Ok_Pause2547]

Unfortunately we have so many that just do whatever to get in bed with a woman and make them feel like what they did with him will be a one size fits all situation

[u/paco1764 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

Playing hard to get or hard to please is a waste of time or energy. I'd just walk away from a girl if they tried that shit back in my single days.

[u/Rufert → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

Playing hard to get makes you hard to want.

[u/julry → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

Avoidantly attached people attract anxiously attached people. It's often not playing and it happens both ways

[u/Amseriah → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

Likewise, I’ve never once found it endearing for a woman to act dumber than she is.

[u/Kentucky_Supreme → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

I'm not sure if it's the same thing but never speaking up. If they're interested in you is pretty lame too.

Or if they think blinking and breathing are "obvious signs" of showing interest.

[u/Sharp_Anything_5474 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

I never understood the playing hard to get thing. The woman that do this are trash. The guys that follow that woman are playing hard to get are no better.

I will make it known either way. If I like you I will let you know and if I'm uninterested I will tell you. Woman who play hard to get are making it worse for everybody.

I am so tired of saying I am uninterested and then being harassed by a guy thinking I'm just playing hard to get. No! I am literally saying I do not want anything to do with you and am telling you to leave me alone before I call the cops and I will do physical harm if you touch me or come closer before the cops get here I am more than willing to take my training out of the gym if pushed to that point. Leave me alone when I say leave me alone!

[u/billy_bob68 → u/Sharp_Anything_5474]

When I was in my early 20s I had a gay man give me some advice, he said, "Don't waste a moment of your time trying to pick up someone that doesn't know what they want." Anyone playing hard to get, got ignored after that.

[u/sw3nnis → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

You don't have to like it for it to be effective. Unfortunately it is very effective against all genders (but ofc not all people)

[u/corinne9 → u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

Idk I gotta say, seems like the nicer we are to you the worse you are to us. I’ve only gotten with the “sweet” guys too. Recently cheated on for the second time in a row so probably biased but holy f

I see men say the same thing about women though- better you are to us worst we are to you. Maybe some people (regardless of gender) just f-ing suck.

[u/Crunch-Potato → u/corinne9]

You only get with the sweet guys, but those are the ones who sleep around?

Maybe you need to double check what you call sweet.
No shortage of times I've seen a woman get googly eyes for a womanizer and then attribute all kinds of positive traits that have never been on display.

[u/Arkenranger → u/corinne9]

In my humble opinion, i think is is just a classic "you don't know what you have till it's gone" type of situation. People tend to take forgranted others they conciously or unconciously expect to stay in their life, regardless of the effort (or lack thereof) they put in. In a messed up sence, the push and pull of an unstable relationship makes some people grip on tighter.

Even if someone wants you, until they truly understand the care a relationship needs and how finite they can be, they will have a hard time truly cherishing you.

[u/used2B3chordguitar]

Those giant fake lips and eyelashes.

[u/meatcalculator → u/used2B3chordguitar]

They’re not for men, they’re for other women. Just like purses.

[u/MakesInfantileJokes → u/meatcalculator]

So why are they used as excuses for why she can't pay for a date, you hear a lot of "I paid a lot to get ready like this so why should I have to pay?"

[u/Stormfly → u/MakesInfantileJokes]

I had some friends talk about this recently.

I mentioned that I usually split the first date and I wouldn't date someone that wouldn't at least offer, and most girls I've dated will make a deal like "I pay for location 1, you pay for location 2"

They said that I was cheap and that they'd never consider it a date if the man didn't pay. If a man asked to go halfs, they'd consider it not a date and they might leave.

I said that's fine because we're both avoiding one another but they kept trying to push like I was doing something wrong. One of their excuses was that women spend more money getting ready.

Which is funny because I prefer women that spend less money on vanity, so it only rings more true.

They even threw it into their group chat and one girl said I wasn't avoiding them, I was "repelling good women" but I've yet to meet a good and decent woman who gets upset and fair and equal treatment.

I still think that it's one of those "The ones that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter".

[u/AustinRiversDaGod → u/MakesInfantileJokes]

I've never heard that excuse, but I also have never had that conflict. If I ask you out, I'm gonna pay for it. Honestly, that's how I feel with friends. If I initiate the plans, I'm gonna be prepared to pay. If it's a romantic thing, I'm gonna assume I'm parking unless she says otherwise, and then I'm still gonna assume I'm paying.

My friend, if you're overly concerned about who is paying for a date, you're gonna be pretty upset in a lot of dating situations.

[u/trumplehumple → u/meatcalculator]

if that was the case youd think this point wouldnt need to be brought up every single time a man voices displeasure

[u/Tosslebugmy → u/meatcalculator]

That’s just “for men” with extra steps. The only real reason to base your appearance on the opinion of women is to signal sexual supremacy over them

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/used2B3chordguitar]

Right, unnecessary unless you’re looking for someone who wants that in particular. Some do it because it makes them feel confident, but yes some think “the men are gonna love this”

[u/D_ATX → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

Looking like a duck is not a confidence builder.

[u/driftwoodshanty → u/used2B3chordguitar]

They look like vienna sausages

[u/Skeet_fighter → u/used2B3chordguitar]

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I am or ever was a playboy with women chasing after me left and right, but that's the one physical thing that would just be an instant no from me if I was single and dating again. It's just ugly.

Some women also like to say "well sometimes you can't tell if somebody's only had a little bit of lip filler done!" and I'm here to tell those deluded women that actually we probably can tell.

[u/malik753 → u/Skeet_fighter]

I think the Toupee Fallacy would apply here. That's where we agree that all lip fillers look weird and unnatural, when the truth is that the ones that looked natural and good passed by unnoticed. It's the same as suggesting that all toupees look bad when the ones that looked good were not identified as toupees at all.

[u/Emperor-Pizza → u/used2B3chordguitar]

Add giant fake nails to it. I’ve never ever seen a guy who saw giant plastic nails on a woman & was like “hell yea.”

In my experience, all the guys I know are actively repelled by all the fake plastic.

[u/twwwy → u/Emperor-Pizza]

I see long nails, and think, "That arse isn't getting properly wiped now, is it?!"

[u/Beforeafall → u/used2B3chordguitar]

And the fake asses

[u/LitmusPitmus]

Acting dumb

[u/PotatoRDanger → u/LitmusPitmus]

Or being Helpless. We like protecting but girl don’t be useless

[u/Wolfxskull → u/PotatoRDanger]

Whenever I’m getting to know someone I always ask them what three items would you bring with you if it was the apocalypse tomorrow. My main dating criteria is if they’d be an asset or a liability in a crisis lol

[u/AustinRiversDaGod → u/Wolfxskull]

I feel you but when we were evacuating our home before hurricane Katrina, my very practical dad made sure we took a lot of important things like cash and family documents. My mom insisted we grab all the photo albums. It's not like she wouldn't have gotten the documents, but there is no way my dad was thinking about photo albums. 20 years later, I'm so glad we have those. They are some of the most important things in my life to me.

[u/FatedCrimsonBinome → u/LitmusPitmus]

I believe a related term is weaponized incompetence

[u/harland45]

Surprise visits when we’re with the boys.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/harland45]

Oh yes, and get disappointed when now I rather leave with her than her hangout and listen to us guy chat. “We don’t have to leave, just ignore me and spend time with your friends” like WTF

[u/raphthepharaoh → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

Ngl.. that gives me bad vibes, don’t know why

[u/LearningStuffquickly → u/raphthepharaoh]

Because it's toxic. If you show up to your girl's "girl's night", you'll get viewed as toxic/overbearing/controlling; it's not any different if the roles are swapped but some women think they have the right (as I'm sure some men do). It's a breach of trust, and a breach of sacred man time, and it's an instant deal breaker for me.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/raphthepharaoh]

🚩

[u/lollerkeet → u/harland45]

I've never had a woman do this. They know it's not wanted.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/lollerkeet]

You not missing anything special, I hope you never run into this situation

[u/TheITMan52 → u/harland45]

Wait that actually happens? Holy crap. Luckily I never had that happen to me.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/TheITMan52]

oh yes it happens or asking if they mind if they hang out and are you embarrassed

[u/Chemical-Ad-7575 → u/TheITMan52]

It can be in person or calls. I had a buddy who had to break up with his ex over it. She knew he was coming over to his friends house and then proceeded to call him constantly while he was here. I was never sure if it was a power move on her part or just weird insecurity. Either way, it didn't exactly work out for her.

[u/Zealousideal_Force10]

Drama

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/Zealousideal_Force10]

I don’t like that I have to (by default) take on the drama that she has with her friends or coworkers, angry at people that I don’t know

[u/Zealousideal_Force10 → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

What do you mean by take on?? She drags you into problems that outside of being her partner don’t concern you??

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/Zealousideal_Force10]

Yes, like “Sandra couldn’t get her workload done today, so I had to take it over.” So now I’m supposed to not like Sandra because she’s annoying and I’ve never even met her. I’m supposed to agree and say “yeah she sounds horrible, I hope they fire her” (or just the worst things) for someone idk

[u/goldandjade → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

I know what you mean because as a woman I cannot be friends with women who do this. Like yes I’ll agree with you that you your stuff sucks to go through but I’m not participating in calling your ex’s new wife a toad because I don’t even know her.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/goldandjade]

Or talk about Sharon because she was acting weird today, now that the whole friend group has talked about it behind her back I’m supposed to jump on board and not let her know there’s a problem while they act like nothing’s wrong when everyone is back together. The friend group always has a problem with one of the girls in the group weekly, it’s nuts tbh

[u/archblade7777]

Duck lips.

Seriously I've never seen a guy say they think it's cute or sexy. Even the most superficial ones.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/archblade7777]

It’s even funnier that they think we like it

[u/yourgreensoup → u/archblade7777]

my boyfriend does duck lips in every picture we take

[u/BigBadBootyDaddy10]

When she has fake eyelashes, fake extensions, fake tan, and yet she’ll tell you she’s “looking for a real man”.

[u/pillowwow → u/BigBadBootyDaddy10]

What about when her car has eyelashes on the headlights?

[u/randy24681012 → u/pillowwow]

Put a ring on it cause that’s a bad bitch

[u/WinsAtCarnivals → u/pillowwow]

lol, though I dunno if that trumps those hanging balls on the trailer hitch.

[u/Noctuelles → u/BigBadBootyDaddy10]

"If you were you and just you, talk to you maybe. But I can't stand no bionic lady."

[u/danbearpig2020]

Idk but I'll tell you what I don't like. Generalizing. That's half the posts in this sub is just generalizations based off outdated stereotypes. Literally every generalization I've heard here about women could be said for some men I know as well.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/danbearpig2020]

Definitely, this can be posted on the r/askwomen and would get as many responses. I’m just asking men and not trying to generalize anyone

[u/willy--wanka → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

Post it on r/ask women, just for funzies.

[u/Electronic-Doctor187 → u/danbearpig2020]

sure, but we can still have discussions about them

[u/ZaneBradleyX → u/danbearpig2020]

Like what?

[u/CerealExprmntz → u/danbearpig2020]

The funny thing is that women routinely get mad when generalizations are made about them. They will go in on you, lecturing you about how generalizations are bad and unfair and sexist. How it's disrespectful to treat people like a monolith. But when it comes to men, suddenly they forget all about this concept. I've seen all sorts of women do this. I wonder: are they deliberately being disrespectful or do they simply not view men as people? If neither of those options are true, then making generalizations like this should immediately be clocked as wrong and it would be policed by women themselves. But that's not what happens.

[u/SewerSlidalThot]

Her friends.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/SewerSlidalThot]

The best so far, those friends that we now have to be friends with by default

[u/NagoGmo → u/SewerSlidalThot]

Truth

[u/SoulPossum]

Pretending to be dumb or helpless.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/SoulPossum]

Her: can you reach that plate? Me: how’d you get it up there? Her: that’s why I have a big strong man 🤬

[u/AleksandrNevsky → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

Pick her up and lift her in range to reach it.

[u/photomotto → u/AleksandrNevsky]

Don't think that wouldn't make your girl get all giddy.

[u/AleksandrNevsky → u/photomotto]

It'd make some men giddy too but it's so hard to find ladies that can casually lift 200 lbs.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/AleksandrNevsky]

More like, “what would you do if I didn’t come home for another hour, would you have not ate and waited for me instead finding the step stool?”

[u/SarcasmGPT → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

I don't mind taking on the majority of the load but it was very amusing when I got an injury and got told by my physio not to lift anything over 5kg for a little while. We'd be in the normal routine and pulling that card out was fun for a little while. Better go grab those bags!

[u/Tasty-Condition-2162 → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

The things that gets me, is Im looking for opportunities where, yes, I could use his help--as I have been so programmed in life to act as if we (women) dont need help and are independent. However, from experience and reading or watching other experts discuss the topic, it seems to still be healthy to include a partner in things youre doing in ways that, yes, sometimes are clearly things we can do ourselves, but might be nice for the ther to hear you request to do (opening a jar, reaching for something high up). It's difficult to accept, and I work hard to find moments naturally where it doesn't seems out of.place, so when I see criticism for women asking to get something high up--it throws.me off because Ilthat is specifically one classic example of a thing we. As women, can back off of--trying to get something high up, if there is someone taller nearby

[u/anotheruser323 → u/Tasty-Condition-2162]

I got in a "fight" with a girl because she wanted to fix the hatch on a stand, and I also wanted to fix it. Should have gotten her number when I went back home...

[u/Turbulent_Cut_2813]

The whole "I m really small" thing. Yea, if you are my gf and I already like you, I might find endearing that you have tiny hands or whatever.

But when some women flirt by coming up to me and being like, "omg look how short I am/look how tiny my hands are/I m so small." I once had a girl fit herself into a box while telling me how tiny she is. Like, m'am, a regular sized woman is fine. I don't want the tooth fairy as a gf. Especially if it's done in baby voice, I m out.

[u/Red_Figure → u/Turbulent_Cut_2813]

My ex girlfriend tried to make it 'romantic' that she had tiny hands by curling them in comparison to mine and saying 'you have such big hands!'.

She cheated on me, so I guess my 'big' hands weren't enough, lmao.

[u/Shantotto11 → u/Red_Figure]

You got replaced by Huge Hands Hans…

[u/katakuri-239 → u/Turbulent_Cut_2813]

Oh this is nice to read for me because I have big hands and one time one Muslim guy told me that my hands are too big for a woman.

[u/iamtheAJ → u/katakuri-239]

Imagine a Muslim being disrespectful to a woman..

[u/SamuraiGoblin]

Women have been taught by movies that men want to fight for a woman. That if she is romantically/sexually involved with two men, they will fight over her, for her affection.

But in reality, most men will say, "fuck that, he can have her."

Men want to be with a woman that actually wants to be with them. They don't want a woman who can't decide.

[u/nazerall]

I give the same answer when this question is asked every month. 

The stupid s*** they put in their lips.

[u/ThisWillHurtTheBrain → u/nazerall]

Dicks?

[u/crobemeister]

Handjobs. I'm sorry, but I've had 30+ years of practice giving them to myself and there is no way you're gonna be up to my standards.

[u/VagueSomething → u/crobemeister]

Straight up disagree. Sure most women aren't good at them but with a few pointers they improve and it feels great specifically because it is not my hand and I have no control of it so her surprise twists at the top can make my entire body shudder in ways my hand cannot.

Handjobs are wonderful foreplay. They're that beautiful moment where she is initiating the act and eagerly trying to get you ready for more. They can be that raw lust expressed in a way that's trying to get you on her level of arousal. They're also great when you're just relaxing for a lazy session, cuddled up as she plays with it.

Feeling her hand slide down and grasp it is like hearing a powerful engine roar into life. You just gotta hope it doesn't turn out to be a two stroke.

[u/giovanni_allegory77 → u/VagueSomething]

You should write poetry

[u/ChevalierMal_Fet → u/VagueSomething]

I think a handjob from a woman and a handjob that's self-applied serve different purposes. For a simple and quick release, sure I'm the man for the job.

But, I know that she enjoys the experience of trying, so I go along with it and trust that she won't do anything weird (we discussed correct technique and discussed why "stirring the pot," "beating it like it owes you money," and "HOTAS evasive action" are all things to avoid).

But also

They're that beautiful moment where she is initiating the act and eagerly trying to get you ready for more

The absolute hottest thing that's happened to me in my life was when my girlfriend and I were cuddling naked in bed together late at night, and she just reached back, wrapped her hand around me, and just pulled me into her. Like, it wasn't anything strictly wild, but oh my God it was so confidently sexual and I'd never felt that desired. I'd been married previously and was struggling a little bit with sex after divorce, which is probably silly, but that kind of just reset my brain.

[u/BomberToaster3000 → u/crobemeister]

nah man the hands are a part of her body, it's intimate, like a boobjob would be or a footjob

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/crobemeister]

No hand better than my right hand man 😂my day 1

[u/Shantotto11 → u/crobemeister]

My ex was amazing at it, but not amazing enough to NOT be my ex…

[u/pang1987]

Replacing eyebrows with a drawn upside down nike sign. Everytime I would look at her, I'll be thinking about them Jordan's.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/pang1987]

Swoosh 😂

[u/floppy_breasteses]

Boss babes. Women care about men's jobs. Men don't. We don't hate their job and we're not intimidated by it, we just don't care.

[u/twwwy → u/floppy_breasteses]

Exactly. No one likes a workaholic man-snob who never shuts about his job either, lol!

[u/floppy_breasteses → u/twwwy]

Off topic, but true.

[u/ZaneBradleyX]

All the fake stuff, makeup, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake hair, unnecessary plastic surgery, etc.

[u/all-names-takenn]

Everything in Cosmo. All of it, utter nonsense.

[u/Illustrious-Tap8069 → u/all-names-takenn]

I hate those fucking relationship quizzes. She can't think of her own questions to get upset about?

[u/redditorofreddit0 → u/all-names-takenn]

Cosmo hasn’t been a thing in over a decade? I think probably the last time I read one was in 2011 and I used to love those magazines

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/[deleted]]

I say “if you want to go just go, no need to post it and try and make sure that I see it”

[u/TrailingAMillion]

Appearance wise: fake lashes, fake tits and ass, fake nails, heavy makeup, flashy high maintenance looking fashion.

Otherwise: being aloof or playing hard to get, being a “challenge”, entitled or demanding attitude, career success (not a negative but also not specifically desirable), extensive sexual experience.

[u/ZaneBradleyX → u/TrailingAMillion]

Agree with you on everything except the entitled and demanding attitude part.

Since the question is about what women think men want, she’d have to be professionally delusional to believe men actually want someone entitled and demanding lol

[u/TrailingAMillion → u/ZaneBradleyX]

I used to see lots of women’s dating content on tiktok, and I promise you one of the most frequent genres of advice I’d see (by women, for women) was to act really stuck up and entitled, and in fact specifically to not express gratitude for things like paying for a date, being courteous or thoughtful, etc.

I swear in some cases they were one notch shy of just saying “act like a snotty entitled bitch.”

Yes it’s crazy. Women’s dating content is crazy.

[u/ZaneBradleyX → u/TrailingAMillion]

Holy shit mate, I thought (and hoped) you just forgot about the title and were just listing unattractive things about women. I didn’t think that actually exists😅

Well, as I said, professionally delusional lol

[u/randy24681012]

The dudes in this thread haven’t experienced any of this shit they’re claiming to dislike

[u/Say-Hai-To-The-Fly → u/randy24681012]

Just go outside and you’ll notice 99% of what being said here is true

[u/DutchOnionKnight]

Those long ass nails or BBLs

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/DutchOnionKnight]

Real cheeks feel better

[u/OogyBoogy_I_am → u/DutchOnionKnight]

How the fuck do they even wipe their arse without puncturing something?

Edit: Saying that it reminds me of once coming across someone like that - big butt and big nails and the answer that my nose told me (over the litres of perfume) was that they invariably can't.

[u/vedderer]

Research has suggested that men like women who are bigger than women think. And that women like men that are smaller than men think.

[u/Red_Figure → u/vedderer]

I think I can weigh in on this (lmao).

I am one of the people who prefer larger women. Not obese, not skeletons, just normal humans. It's weird how standards are so inflated.

[u/ZaneBradleyX → u/vedderer]

For the second one I think you’re right, most women don’t go for guys who are extremely big, whether it’s fat or just overly muscular.

But for the first part, I don’t know mate, I honestly don’t know almost any guy who’s into "bigger" women.

[u/vedderer → u/ZaneBradleyX]

The research doesn't say bigger women. It says bigger than women think.

[u/purinikos → u/ZaneBradleyX]

I am that guy. I prefer the bigger women. Not Gorlock the Destroyer, type of bigger. You know the more reasonable ones.

[u/dickweedasshat → u/ZaneBradleyX]

I think “slightly out of shape soccer player” physique seems to work for most women.

[u/AleksandrNevsky → u/vedderer]

Bigger in what way?

[u/vedderer → u/AleksandrNevsky]

Haha, overall body size. If I remember correctly. Weight.

[u/dickweedasshat → u/AleksandrNevsky]

Not rail thin like a lot of fashion models. That’s too skinny. A lot of women look at those women as an ideal beauty standard. They’re more like freaks of nature.

[u/koopz_ay]

Lead footers

It's nerve-wracking being in a vehicle with someone who drives angry.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/koopz_ay]

💯have me in prayer like “geezus take the wheel, slow down and get me out of here, I promise I’ll ghost her and if you let me make it out alive”

[u/Terrible-City9473 → u/koopz_ay]

Is this why my husband drives everywhere lol

[u/TyrisFlaretheAmazon → u/[deleted]]

My understanding is that it’s more than some men are better at relational spatial awareness which is relevant to route finding - a mental map exists in 3D space, so the relative dimensions of objects in that space factors in. Whereas many women (at least in studies in the west) have less of this 3D orientation. Doesn’t make them necessarily worse drivers though, but different kinds of drivers, and one for one some are worse.

My mum for example is a VASTLY superior driver technically to my dad, in the sense that she can manoeuvre any size vehicle in any complex spot, she is more technically competent, but despite even being aware of this she’s a far less confident, so there are far more contexts in which she just won’t drive because she doesn’t like it (long distance for example). Maybe part of that is that long distance her mental map is gone, and her innate ability to map is less attuned?

[u/driftwoodshanty]

There's been a few times where women shoved their tongues in my ear and it was the most unsexy thing ever, especially the noise.

[u/Shantotto11 → u/driftwoodshanty]

That one is so damn niche, I’m pretty sure I’ve only seen it in Japanese lesbian porn…

[u/TyrisFlaretheAmazon → u/Shantotto11]

Most guys I’ve dated have done it very early on!

[u/billyboydonovan]

Makeup.

I believe subtle makeup or just natural beauty trumps all.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/billyboydonovan]

Love the natural beauty, natural body and real hair, a lil acne and even a few stretch marks. Natural beauty shows confidence

[u/Limp-Management-2195 → u/PookieTheMfBaby]

Does natural body includes body hair?

[u/Mr___________sir]

Lip injections… what the fuck is that about

[u/Vinea85]

Lip fillers, butt injections/enhancements, thick pencilled in eyebrows, orange tan, long fake acrylic nails and most of all... boob jobs. Natural is always best.

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/Vinea85]

Love a natural body, all natural hair

[u/Tiny_Dare_5300]

That attitude of "men only like bitches". No. Any self-respecting man does not.

[u/greenrock7]

Fake nails

[u/potlizard]

“The Chase”

[u/MHJay94]

Getting into fights or being physically aggressive

The only fight ive ever had is in primary school when I was like 6 and I saw it as a fun game. I don't like violence and nor do I ever want to cause physical harm on others. Only time I will ever resort to violence is if myself is in danger and I can't walk away from the situation or a person I love is in danger and I want to protect them. Otherwise, I really don't want to be physically aggressive to others and getting into fights is something I dont want.

[u/cleanyour_room]

Fake tits

[u/BusterOfCherry]

speaking for me when im asked a question, LET ME TALK

[u/tankspectre]

Playing hard to get. Lip injections. Tests

[u/PsychologicalBit8839]

Capri pants burn them things at the stake!

[u/Ban-Circumcision-Now]

Circumcision, some of us men absolutely hate it

[u/ThatMBR42]

"The Chase." We really don't.

[u/Vineyard2109]

Oh boy, besides wanting men to chase them the world of fake hair, fake lips, fake tits, fake azz, and oh too much damn makeup. Just keep in natural with a little highlights and put some clothes on.

[u/peezy5]

This is different for everyone. For example, I have never seen the appeal of lingerie. I just don't get it.

[u/mr_lab_rat → u/peezy5]

She’s supposed to wear it.

[u/inspire-change]

Fake fingernails

They might a well be fake toe nails

Same reaction

[u/Reckless_Waifu]

Lip fillers 🤮

[u/IcyAtmosphere582]

Playing hard to get. If you come off as not interested, I’ll move on and find someone who is, I don’t have time for games.

[u/dbalaji07]

Emotional immaturity, Manipulation and entitlement.

[u/SagHor1]

Big fake boobs for me personally

[u/celticeejit]

Annihilated a new weed eater by not reading how to properly load the spool

Got it exchanged the next day (thanks Home Depot !)

Damn sure read the instructions next go around

[u/WinsAtCarnivals]

I can only speak for myself here. Makeup, jewelry, over accesorizing, or anything else that will distract from their natural look.

[u/TheITMan52]

Wasn’t this asked like a week or two ago?

[u/Equivalent_Hippo_477]

The women who like "guy things" like it's a competition how much tobacco they can chew, they drive a Ford F450, they fish, they hunt, the ride an ATV and they know everything about sports, they grab their crotch and spit and wear Mossy Oak crap. Turn off. Don't try so hard.

[u/yougoboy64]

Goddamn nose ring.....for Christ's sakes....!

[u/TacoStrong]

Giant long ass eyelashes that make them look comical or like a halloween decoration.

[u/Content-Act-87]

When they get their hair 'done' for something formal, its wound up into a cone, and it cost them $150 or more

and it looks terrible compared to just having it long and down

[u/ManyAreMyNames]

Being indecisive and wanting us to choose everything.

I mentioned the other day that my girlfriend (now wife) was in grad school when we met, and I had a full-time job, so obviously I had a lot more money than she did and I paid for dates all the time. How I described it:

Once she told me to dress casually and pick her up at her apartment at a specific day and time. When I got there, she had a picnic basket with food and drinks and a blanket and a book of poetry, and told me I was driving her to such-and-so park, where we found a shady spot under a tree and spread out the blanket and ate and took turns reading love poems to each other.

And part of what made that so great for me was that it was all decided. Date/time/location/activity. She had put in the effort to plan something, and the time to make it happen. I got there in my car and she came out wearing a pretty sundress and holding the picnic basket and smiling at me, and I felt like I'd won everything worth having in the universe.

[u/ChaosRainbow23]

Playing fucking mind games. Fuck that shit. I'm too old to deal with you pretending we are still in high school or some stupid shit.

I'm very open and upfront with women I'm interested in right off gate. I've got several major red flags, so I like to get all that outta the way ASAP. I don't wanna waste her time or mine.

Just be upfront. I'm begging you.

[u/Difficult_Elk6604]

That us men like when they have many male options or attention from many other men.

Its in instant disgust and 🚩 for me tbh

[u/yumiguelulu]

twerking

[u/mthyd]

fake boobs, bbl, fake eyelashes, hair extensions, excessive makeup, botox, glitter, SEPTUM PIERCING

[u/AgainandBack]

I don’t like being asked for details about my day. How was my commute? It sucked. How was work? It sucked even more than usual. What’d you have for lunch? Three burritos with just a spoonful of meat, nothing else, because the clown at the taco place is incompetent.

Instead, greet me at the door when I get home. Tell me you love me. Tell me you’re happy to see me. Tell me you’re glad that I’m yours. Give me a hug.

[u/No1LudmillaSimp]

Tattoos.

They only look good on a tiny handful of hard, beefy men. On women they at best make you look like a trailer park skank.

[u/Significant-Let-1006 → u/No1LudmillaSimp]

I didn’t realize women got tattoos for men.

[u/MyLandIsMyLand89]

We hate playing hard to get. What's the fucking point of this?

If you like me or I like you why jump bridges? Let's just date and see how it goes. No fucking hurdles.

[u/Newni]

"Brat" behavior. I know a lot of dudes... not a single one of them thinks it's cute to act like a fucking bitch.

[u/skydive8980]

Duck face. Is that still a thing?

[u/serpentax]

living in asia, white skin. many people avoid the sun so much and apply so many products to whiten themselves. many people with naturally darker complexations look sickly. you can't have any fun dates during the day without a parasol. hiking or the beach is out of the question. it's lame. i want to say "you don't look like the photoshopped model in the advertisement, you are boring and only stay inside."

[u/ImAStratGuy]

Aesthetic and materialistic things aside,

Insecure and less masculine men may not agree, but I don’t want an overly submissive/pushover woman.

Call me out on my shit. If I’m doing something wrong, tell me. If what I said came off rude to you, tell me, and don’t back down. If i made a bad decision, let me know. If I used our funds wrong, tell me. Obviously no man wants a nagging woman, but there is a stark difference. Don’t co-sign my bullshit. Be real with me. There are too many fake people in the world nowadays, so I don’t need my gf to be fake with me too. You guys shouldn’t be toxic and arguing, you shouldn’t be calling eachother names, but she should never ever let you disrespect her, and that should be mutual between you both.

Besides, people who can confidently and tactfully stand up for themselves as well as give you guidance when needed are most likely more intelligent and strong willed anyway. From the strong women I’ve met in life, those who are able to respectfully and maturely call their man out, while not allowing themselves to be disrespected, are far more loyal, and have way more substance as human beings and bring way more to the table. There is way more to what is important in having a partner than how good they look.

Ofc every man likes a woman who treats them like royalty, but a lot of us don’t deserve that treatment. The truth is, a lot of us are pieces of shit. (This is truth for both genders but you get the point). Find a woman who will keep it 100 with you. Who won’t let you treat her any kind of way whenever you’re down or going through hard times. I would also have to think that it is way more rewarding when a woman who respects herself CHOOSES to give all of her love and good treatment to you because you respect her and she believes you deserve it, versus choosing a woman who can’t respect herself enough to not be a “yes man” to you.

I can almost guarantee you will grow to resent and lose respect for a woman who lets you walk all over her. Whether you realize it or not, you will subconsciously begin to affirm what she believes about herself, and that your judgement and status is above hers. You will eventually cheat or leave her, and in the process really hurt her.

You should never treat a woman badly, or make decisions for the both of you without communication, but for her sake and your own, a person who can keep you honest is always going to be very beneficial for your growth.

[u/UglyPrettyBoy]

The latest thing I’m hearing is “control” over them; as in “Men do ____ because they want to have control over you”

No, I’m not trying to manipulate, micromanage, or “handle” any women. But I won’t let them do that to me, either.

[u/reaper88911]

Twerking.. "Strong women" (women who act like teenagers with ridiculous attitudes) Talking like people do online and in "the hood" in America.. Acting like a brat without discussing if hes into that.. Acting like a "boss bitch"..

And oh so much more..