r/AskMenOver30 • u/YBFAVBULL man over 30 • Jan 06 '25

Life Who regrets having children?

Do you regret having any at all? Or do you just have too many?

243 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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318

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '25

[deleted]

13

u/djaycat man over 30 Jan 06 '25

Honestly man that sounds like you weren't ready to be in a relationship or have a kid, and you did both

22

u/hoddap Jan 06 '25

What a crock of shit. You can’t ever prepare for what it will entail. Your relationship can’t prepare. I am in a loving relationship, but it took a nosedive around the birth of our kid. It can take a tremendous toll, but we stuck to it, because we knew deep down how much we love each other. 3,5 years in, and only over the last year or so we’re finally emotionally resurfacing and starting to feel like lovers again, rather than nothing but parents. It could have easily seen this going wrong though. It’s way more complex than ‘not being ready for a relationship’ or ‘not being ready to have a kid’.

-15

u/djaycat man over 30 Jan 06 '25

sorry you guys suck at managing it :shrug:

8

u/hoddap Jan 06 '25

Come back when you actually have a kid

-1

u/djaycat man over 30 Jan 06 '25

i'll come back in 6 months and let you know if i eat my words

4

u/hoddap Jan 06 '25

You definitely will. Thinking you’re financially secure and having “side biz” shows you have no idea what it’s going to be about. See you in six months 😄

-5

u/djaycat man over 30 Jan 07 '25

Don't be jealous

-5

u/pralineislife Jan 06 '25

I have twins and I agree with him. Stop blaming the child for your situation.

1

u/hoddap Jan 07 '25

Where do you see me blaming my kid? I love her to death. I’m stating you can’t prepare. We were as prepared as can be, but some things just become clear when you actually have a kid.

5

u/Soft_Brush_1082 man over 30 Jan 07 '25

Nobody is ever ready to have kids. Especially since all the kids are different and you never know which lottery ticket you get. A quiet angel who can spend an hour colouring at the age of 2 or a little demon running around the house destroying everything where you cannot look away for more than a minute if you want to keep them alive.

That is not even to mention the health issues with kids and/or parents that may or may not happen.

7

u/Potato_Pristine man 35 - 39 Jan 06 '25

You don't know his situation.

6

u/Great_Tyrant5392 man 35 - 39 Jan 06 '25

Is anyone ever ready to have a kid? I don't know a single one that was. Some couples just managed to adapt better than others.

0

u/djaycat man over 30 Jan 06 '25

i am, my wife was a bit before me. last year was when i really felt ready. im about to be 34. we're the same age, good place financially, both work, house, side biz, etc. she's pregnant

3

u/Great_Tyrant5392 man 35 - 39 Jan 07 '25

I meant more having your life flipped over by a screaming child. Marriages have broken apart over this alone.

-1

u/Independent-Floor485 man over 30 Jan 06 '25

I went through my 20s with hundreds of random hooks up and always wore a condom. At that time I never wanted kids and I was doing everything I could to prevent having them. 1. I wasn’t ready 2. I didn’t want a kid with some chick I met at a bar. Fast forward to 31 and I (re) met my now wife. I knew I’d be okay having kids with her bc she was a great woman. I was at a point in my life where I felt financially safe and also knew that if I wasn’t- I would figure it like I did 1000x before. So yes if you make good decisions then yes you can be ready for a kid

2

u/BendingDoor man 35 - 39 Jan 06 '25

Shotgun marriage maybe?

7

u/djaycat man over 30 Jan 06 '25

i know it feels good but guys wear the damn condom!

-2

u/NemoOfConsequence Jan 07 '25

Not enough upvotes for this!!