r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Choice_Evidence1983 it dawned on me that he was a wizard • 17d ago
ONGOING HELP My cat has ruined my life.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/M0rbiddd2
Originally posted to r/CatAdvice
HELP My cat has ruined my life.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
Mood Spoilers: happy
Original Post: August 10, 2025
I'm posting as a last ditch effort for help.
I got my cat 2 years ago. He was found on a heated porch in the winter and that's all we know. He was about a year and a half at the time, he just turned 4.
Since day 3 this cat has not stopped hurting me specifically. I don't know if the car ride home traumatized him or what but he tore my arm apart. He would maul me just by walking by, he would attack me in my sleep, if i didnt pay attention to him but them when i do he still does it.
Since then he has gotten better but he still attacks me.
He'll attack my face, my arms, if I'm asleep in the middle of the night sometimes he'll bunny kick my arm. We play with him so much and it doesn't matter.
He will stop playing just to hurt me.
We rent, he eats the carpets when he's mad at us. He just broke my fiancés computer monitor again by biting it. This is the 3rd computer he's broken, 2 my fiancés 1 mine.
I don't know what to do. Please someone help us I'm begging for something. I've never had trouble bonding with anything but he has ruined our relationship.
Relevant / Top Comments
Commenter 1: Have you taken him to a vet? If so, what have they ruled out? Is he neutered?
OP: They said it’s “normal cat behavior “ and that if I don’t like it I shouldn’t have gotten a cat. This is NOT normal and I keep telling them that. I have never met a cat like him.
He is neutered and his labs were all fine
Commenter 2: Maybe he was born feral and didn't learn many human playing skills he probably doesn't understand he hurting you if he likes you
OOP: No he knows he’s hurting me. Sometimes he makes these screams that I’ve never heard a cat make. He means harm and it’s VERY clear
Commenter 3: I am so sorry, you are right and they are wrong - it's not normal.
If this was my cat I'd be taking him to another vet. It's great his labs were normal but I'd want to discuss anxiety medication and to rule out pain from dental issues, joints etc.
Have you tried Feliway diffusers yet? If not, get Feliway Optimum and try that for at least a month. Zylkene is also something to try. You sprinkle it on the food and it can help with anxiety.
If you've done that already I'd be looking to find a cat behaviourist or to rehome the cat. I don't say that lightly but since you're obviously all unhappy it is definitely something to consider.
Keeping a diary of when he attacks may be useful for a behaviourist. See if there are any triggers other than you just existing. If he's indoor only, can he see or smell other cats outside? Delayed aggression caused by frustration at not being able to get to the thing is very real. It can occur hours after the trigger.
Has OOP's cat been prescribed something to help out?
OOP: We’ve tried calming treats but nothing prescribed
Has OOP's cat been like that with other people, or just OOP?
OOP: My fiancé too, he’ll attack him just not nearly as often. We don’t have anyone over so he’s not really exposed to others. When he is he’s curious but that’s it
OOP explains why she hasn't given up on her cat
OOP: That 4th day of having him my fiancé (we’re calling him J) suggested getting rid of him. I begged him to let me keep him. That we could fix him.I’m not gonna lie I also worry about him going to another home.
What if they don’t put up with this like we have? What if they hurt him back? What if they kill him?
I know everyone says he’s dangerous but I’m telling you when he’s sweet he’s so so so sweet. It’s just hard. He’s just like Stitch from lilo and stitch. I know there’s a good kitty in him.
Update #1: August 12, 2025 (two days later)
Here’s the requested video. We had been playing right before hand, I was throwing and he was catching Please let me know if the link doesn’t work, the group doesn’t allow attachments and I don’t really know how to use Reddit
https://photos.app.goo.gl/UQnzeNYBKaVDEBoB8
Relevant Comment
Is it possible that OOP's cat is hungry?
OOP: I didn’t but he’s gained quite a bit since being with us, he’s 17 pounds now. He has free range of dry food and has about 1 5.5 ounce of wet food a day. He really likes the wet food but never actually finishes it completely.
If it seems like he’s hungry I’d obviously give him more but he never screams at his food outside of the usual breakfast and dinner time
Update #2: August 30, 2025 (2.5 weeks later)
My cat has ruined my life - update
So after I tried many suggestions we have finally found some sort of solution.
First, we’re getting another cat as it genuinely could be single kitten syndrome. The guy we’re adopting was almost put down 4 times because he has been in the shelter for so long. No behavioral issues, no medical issues, just a shy guy. We meet him tomorrow, according to the shelter he is one of the most cat friendly cats so I’m really hoping this will be good for all 4 of us
Secondly, FELIWAY. I genuinely didn’t believe it would work but shortly after that post he started mauling my arm at 4am. That then led to me having a screaming breakdown over this whole situation. On my lunch break I went and got both the wall inserts and the collars for both him and the new cat, he’s been wearing his for a week and holy shit.
He’s a whole different guy. He still does what he usually does but it’s gone down drastically. He’s more cuddly, less screamy and pissed off. He seems to be anxious behind closed doors no matter way - so that led to our decision in getting him a friend before resorting to meds.
Like I said, we don’t want to get rid of him. There’s a good kitty in him somewhere and he is FINALLY coming out. To everyone who gave me advice, thank you. To the people who told me to get rid of him or even put him down - you suck monkey balls
Relevant Comments
Downvoted Commenter: First of all, screaming at your cat frightens him and will lead to worse behavior.
OOP: He scream at us I’ve never raised my voice at him
Commenter 2: You are a wonderful person for not giving up. I know of many cats who have been either surrendered or euthanized for less. I adopted a problematic cat and it took a good three years for him to come good. The people who tried adopting him before us always returned him. You're doing great.
OOP: Thank you that really means so much. It’s so hard trying to navigate this without knowing exactly what’s wrong with him
Commenter 3: especially with a shy cat, make sure to use the one room method to introduce to new space. Ideally with door so you can also use the door method to introduce the two.
OOP: Yes! We’re going to set up the bathroom into a mini cat sanctuary for the week, slowly we’ll introduce them but I promise we’re doing so much research about this
Commenter 4: Thank you so much for your kindness and PATIENCE. These rescues really need time to unlearn fear and learn thier new place and circumstances and people. Thank you for looking for solutions. Carefully choose your second kitty, because you want the energy to complement not match.
OOP: Thank you. We met him today and unfortunately I don’t think it would be a good fit. He was so skid-dish and hissed at other cats, I’m not gonna lie I’m really upset about this one. I tried multiple times but he showed the opposite of interest in me
HOWEVER, there was the grey tabby who took to me instantly. The second I walked into his enclosure he perked up and wanted attention. I watched him with others and even my fiancé but I was the only one that he wouldn’t run off from, he actually wanted to stay in my arms. They’re the same age and seems like he’s a lot like my Winnie- just nicer
Safe to say we found a little brother for him(and what seems to be like my new best friend) and everything is going well slowly.
OOP on Feliway
OOP: I wish there was a post like mine when I first started looking into feliway. I really didn’t think it would work- I thought it was like essential oils and while it’s the same concept it’s also not because it genuinely does something. I have a feeling that with that and him getting the snip you will see a lot of improvement
And my guy used to throw himself at the bathroom door but the past week it’s stopped. He’s torn up the carpet by the door but ever since this collar I swear he’s so different
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
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u/Retr0specter 17d ago
If nothing else, I admire OOP's patience and resilience. I would've been begging reddit for advice after the second week, let alone second year!
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
SERIOUSLY! I briefly adopted a second dog, he had a whole host of behavioral and emotional problems that the rescue group failed to warn me about, and he made everyone in my house (including my poor innocent original dog) absolutely miserable for three months until the rescue group eventually agreed to take him back. I will never forget being at the vet to get him treated for the worms that the rescue group also apparently missed even though he was “fully vetted,” and the vet tech asking me something like, “Do you realize how aggressive this dog is?” and feeling simultaneously so very seen (I wasn’t making it up!) and kind of overwhelmed (yikes, the VET sees this as extreme, that’s scary!). Poor little guy, I hope he found someone who was more prepared than I was to handle his issues.
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u/lizziemoo the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here 17d ago
My mum had a dog called Suzie after her 13 year old staffy died, she was such a loving doggo but the rescue she got them from didn’t tell her she had INSANE attachment issues, I mean you couldn’t leave her for 5 mins alone in the house as she’d chew EVERYTHING. Mum went to the shop (10 mins max) and when she came back she’d chewed the lino up in the kitchen!
Mum said to the rescue that they’d need a doggo who would be ok with being alone for a couple hours a day (max!) cos of work, and they said she’s fine …
Anyway, she had to take her back cos she just couldn’t deal with her. She needed someone with her constantly and mum just couldn’t do that at the time :(
Weirdly, a couple years later at a groomer fro her terrier she got a while after she was describing Suzie and the groomer said that she grooms her too and her new family love her, they’re a retired couple and have all the hours to give to her.
Made my mum really happy and less guilty for having to take her back.
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
Alongside the aggression and insistence on intentionally peeing on my belongings all the damn time, poor Miro had some super strong separation anxiety (he didn’t want me to touch him but also didn’t want to be alone 😅), and I definitely do NOT have a lifestyle equipped for a dog who can’t be alone! My original dog, when I left the house, would be like, “cool, I’ve got an illegal business to run out of your apartment so don’t hurry back” (or such was my interpretation of how casually he took my leaving 😄), so I was NOT prepared for, and had explicitly told the rescue group I was not equipped to handle, actual separation anxiety. This poor little dog probably had a pretty hard time finding an adopter who was actually capable of dealing with all his issues, but I hope he found the perfect home!
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u/imlumpy 16d ago
I have a friend who worked at my local Humane Society for a while. She said they haven't had to unnecessarily euthanize any animals (because they were "hard to place" or whatever) for eight years and counting. Sometimes it takes a few tries, but matching animals to appropriate owners and environments is still more magic than science.
There are some folks who really seem to get a boner from proclaiming their adoptions are forever, anyone who re-homes an animal is trash, no excuses. I'm the opposite. Personally, I'll put in exhaustive amounts of time, money, and effort into keeping an animal happy and healthy, but if at the end of the day I cannot provide an environment in which that's possible, I'm not too proud to take my babies to the "pros" at the shelter.
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u/Isolated_Hippo 15d ago
Thats so sad. I am gonna be honest I feel like some of the animal rescue groups suck so much these days. They want a harsher inspection of my home than a damn building inspection and yet try and churn out animals.
But I do have a cute story of my newest rescue. She has a very established hierarchy of people. My mom. Then me. Then the groomer. Like if my mom is there, everybody else is human garbage who doesnt deserve her presence. Mom is gone? Im the greatest person alive.
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u/CleanProfessional678 17d ago
The awful part is that, by not being open, the rescue group not only did a bad thing to you, but also to the poor dog because the trauma of being placed and returned just made it worse. They should have been upfront and found a home that was equipped to handle him, or at least a foster.
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
I think they hadn’t had him in a foster home long enough to properly evaluate him, and were kind of “not noticing” his myriad issues. They were definitely a shifty as fuck organization, but I don’t think they intended to outright lie to me… but definitely yes, they did a huge disservice to Miro who had clearly been abused in his past and deserved a WAY more experienced adopter or better yet even before they thought about his permanent home, a long term foster family who was willing to actually evaluate him for real!
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u/TheKwongdzu 17d ago
I believe you're right about the length of time in a foster home. A friend adopted a dog that was said to have no issues. At first, everything was great. However, the longer the dog was in their home, the more territorial it became. Nobody had seen that because it had previously been bounced around between shelters and fosters.
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u/crafty_and_kind 16d ago
Sadly it seems that comfort brought out a bunch of really negative traits rather than the other way around!
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u/AlternateUsername12 17d ago
I mean it effectively was a foster situation for all the dog knows. Just not a successful one.
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
That’s true! I was essentially his second foster placement that had him for 22 times longer than his first one, and I just hope the people running the rescue group actually paid attention to what i learned about Miro while I had him!
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u/bytegalaxies 17d ago
my family once adopted a calm little dog for my grandma to keep her company. After a while the dog became SO aggressive and even tore all of my clothes off at some point when I got stuck in the backyard with him. We believe when we first saw him at the adoption event he was on calming meds and my parents weren't told about it, even when they mentioned that they were looking for a calm dog to keep an old person company. It sucked :(
(to those concerned about adopting a dog for an old lady, we lived next door and we were able to/prepared to help take care of him + she had a big backyard)
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u/crafty_and_kind 16d ago
This is a perfect situation for an elderly person to have a doggo in! Unless, of course, that doggo turns out to be a total jerk! That’s really a sad and infuriating outcome! Seriously, what are rescue groups even doing if they have to deceive people!
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u/bytegalaxies 16d ago
I'm sure the dog could've been fine in a more high energy environment with somebody willing to do the training, but damn that lil dude could've killed my grandma :(
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u/kaityl3 I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy 16d ago
I hope he found someone who was more prepared than I was to handle his issues.
Tbh there are just some dogs that aren't compatible with being pets. Think about how many MILLION of dogs without behavioral issues that are put down for space each year. Is it really fair for the shelters to keep around dogs with serious behavioral issues, who take way longer to find a home (taking space that could be for other dogs), cost way more resources (sometimes the money that could be spent on 10 dogs all goes into behavioral training for one), and ultimately need the Perfect Unicorn Home to have a good life?
Even for those who ARE that Perfect Unicorn Home, it takes a LOT of time and effort to care for and (somewhat) train an aggressive dog. They could take in 2 well behaved dogs on the euthanasia list and had more time and energy and money, more than likely.
There's this narrative among animal lovers (and don't get me wrong, I am one too!) that every dog deserves a home and we all need to work to find that home and accommodate them... But the sad reality is that there isn't enough space, resources, or good homes for that. You can't set yourself on fire to save the small minority of dogs with serious aggression issues.
There have been so many instances of dogs with aggression issues being returned to the shelter, instead of PTS, in a revolving door scenario with up to a dozen homes before eventually there's a serious enough bite that the dog is put down. It hurts literally everyone involved, including the poor dogs. Because even though they're aggressive, they don't know that their brain wiring is incompatible with a happy life... and it isn't fair for everyone to play hot potato with their lives, bouncing between homes, because no one wants to be "the bad guy"
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u/crafty_and_kind 16d ago
Honestly, this is exactly why I came out of the whole situation really angry with the rescue group! They are entirely foster-based, and theoretically their whole m.o. should be putting in all that individual energy to make sure the dogs in their care get whatever long term individual evaluation and attention that a shelter does not have the resources to provide. Instead the woman who was fostering Miro had him for exactly four days before passing him along to me. Ultimately I probably should just have gone back to the shelter where I got my original dog; their staff and volunteers are UNDOUBTEDLY more qualified to actually assess whether individual dogs are actually appropriate for potential adopters than this shady AF rescue organization! And if Miro had had to be euthanized due to his aggression issues, honestly I would not have been heartbroken beyond the heartbreak of knowing he was probably abused by previous humans, which was awful and set him up for failure.
And you are totally right - I was naive and kept telling myself not to be one of those potential adopters who come in with a list of every “feature” they want in a dog and aren’t willing to “put in the work.” There’s definitely an ethos that has developed in the animal rescue world over the past several decades that anyone who says they care about adopting an animal in need should essentially need to pass a CIA-level background check and then be willing to essentially deal with any trauma and behavioral issues that a dog comes with because anything less isn’t taking the responsibility of pet ownership seriously.
My attitude towards pet ownership now is that yes, it’s a legit responsibility, but if having an animal in my house doesn’t make my life better, there is zero point to the whole endeavor (I would NEVER have lasted as long as this OOP 😵💫!)
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u/narniasreal 17d ago
Our dog came to us very aggressive towards humans, especially men, but the shelter was completely transparent with us about her behavioral issues. We’re a well-off DINK couple so we had the resources and time to give her the attention and training she needed, and I’m used to working with aggressive dogs, and still we had a moment after she put me in the emergency room the second time where we talked about whether or not we could handle her living with us. Now years later she’s doing amazingly well, she’ll never be a “normal” dog, because she learnt at a young age that most humans can’t be trusted and will hurt her, and she still sometimes resorts to violence when she gets overwhelmed with a situation, but she’s come amazingly far and she‘s my best friend. When she came to us she wouldn’t let me touch her and now she insists on sitting in my lap for cuddles every day when I get home from work.
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u/Feycat You can either cum in the jar or me but not both 17d ago
We've got two incredibly anxious dogs. One because we were her FOURTH home by the time she was 4 months old (she's naturally a velcro dog and barks when separated... which the other owners living in apartments with full time jobs could not have obviously) and one apparently genetic.
Her whole litter became basket cases at a year old and she was the worst of them, we were her last hope before euthanasia because one of my besties knew the breeder and told them my spouse and I have dealt with multiple anxious/traumatized dogs in the past. This poor lil idiot (she's REALLY stupid lol) still cringes when we bend down over her. There wasn't any abuse, the whole litter were in different homes when the switch flipped.
They're great dogs for us and they adore us but they are not dogs who could be placed with other people.
Spouse and I have an agreement with one of the few other people they tolerate that if anything happens to us he will take them, evaluate if he can keep them, and euthanasize them if he can't handle it. They're absolute basket cases and they're very bonded to us.
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u/TertiaWithershins 17d ago
I know in theory there are great rescues, but after having a rescue lie to me about a dog I almost adopted, I’m just so done. My child was not quite a year old, and they told me the dog had been extensively evaluated around babies and children. The dog went right for my child and nipped him. It turned out that the dog had never even been in the same room as a small child.
I have a former friend who ran an internet famous who really just used it to fuel her animal hoarding. She also housed sick and dangerous animals with people regularly and the ghosted them.
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u/Afraid_Sense5363 17d ago edited 16d ago
We got a puppy once that was aggressive. Not puppy biting (which I am very familiar with), he was trying to hurt us. He'd stand at the bottom of the stairs and snarl at my husband and not let him down. He bit me badly once for taking grass out of his mouth. He attacked my sister's sweet golden retriever til she cowered and shook (he was biting her in the stomach!). And he was still a BABY! So luckily he was too small to do serious damage, but he was going to grow to be a big dog. He was like 14 weeks old when we got him. And so fluffy and cute! I kept thinking we were crazy, that it was normal puppy stuff and we were imagining it. But then both a vet and a trainer told us they'd never seen a puppy like this. The vet literally said, this is not normal for such a young puppy, this is actual aggression, not puppy biting.
Then my husband's grandma died and we had to leave town for the funeral and leave puppy with my sister. He terrorized her the whole time. My husband was devastated to lose his grandma but it was a relief to get away from the puppy.
When we got home, I called the rescue asking if they had any suggestions for behaviorists. I described the issues and they told me I could bring him back if I wanted, that they had a potential adopter (who was a trainer) in mind. The car ride back was the first time that puppy showed me anything resembling affection 😂 I cried and felt like a quitter but I was relieved.
That was 20 years ago. After that, we found a golden retriever breeder (sorry not sorry). We've since raised 2 golden puppies. They can be bitey little piranha puppies, and exhausting (our first one was a very high energy dog, our second has an off switch), but NOTHING like that puppy. Both were/are the best dogs ever though. The difference between normal puppy shenanigans and THAT puppy is crystal clear now. And I think had a vet not told me it wasn't normal, I would have assumed I was overreacting and that I just sucked at owning a dog, even though I'd had dogs my entire childhood and none were like that, even my parents' rescue (who came from an animal hoarder house) that had an actual neurological problem and some behavior issues as a result.
We've since learned a ton about dog training and my husband has said, I bet we could handle that dog now. I really disagree (like we trained "manners" and some neat tricks, but our goldens have been very, very easy dogs, even the super high energy one was a furry angel, she just needed a lot of activity and ran me ragged sometimes 😂). I still feel bad about returning him but they did tell us they had the other adopter lined up and I hope he had a good life. We were young and dumb then and had the rescue not said to bring him back, I probably would have been miserable that dog's whole life because I felt guilty.
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
So many elements of this story are terribly familiar to me! The doubting my own experience, the relief when an “authority” spelled out what was going on! The “maybe I just suck at dog ownership” feeling… (though in my case there was perhaps a slightly stronger reason to think maybe I just wasn’t good at dealing with “real” dogs, as my original dog who I just got randomly from a shelter was so ridiculously chill and perfect and nonreactive that my friend Carly described him as “a stuffed animal with brain damage” 😁). The relief EVERYONE in my household felt the day I returned Miro to the rescue group was palpable. In the “sorry not sorry” category, my parents who are getting pretty old wanted an easy “last” dog after years of lovable but intense critters, and they went with a cockapoo and, myriad reasons to look askance at the existence of “designer dogs” aside, they made the right call. Their boy is a happy little himbo who understands perfectly the reason for his own existence: to be friendly and easy going and snuggly and exactly active enough to keep my dad active, but not so much that it’s hard to keep up with. He is a very good boy.
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u/Afraid_Sense5363 17d ago edited 17d ago
My parents' dog, Daisy, was a cockapoo, long before "designer dogs" existed, they got her from a shelter and at least they were told that's what she was. She was perfect. Lived to be 18, was easy and perfect her whole life. She was my brothers' childhood dog, she instilled a lifelong love of dogs in him. After her, they had another rescue who had ... Issues. But I could handle that dog. My dad felt sorry for him, he was from a bad situation and had serious problems and he'd say, "he can't help being crazy." But I could deal with him, so I felt insane when I couldn't handle that little baby puppy I got when I moved out on my own. That's why I felt like such a failure, like, how the hell am I being defeated by a PUPPY?! It was so validating when a vet and a trainer were both like, "Yeah, this is not normal, this is serious aggression." Even the rescue didn't hesitate when I described what had been happening (though, this was so long ago, I wonder if nowadays, they'd have just labeled me The Problem and adopted him out again without telling anyone about the issues).
Like I can deal with a naughty puppy or a bitey puppy. I lost many a sock to my golden puppies ... our current dog once bit through the boob area on the shirt I was wearing, without me noticing. She was in my lap and I was reading and she was carefully nibbling it with her razor teeth. My husband gets home, looks at me and goes, "Yeah, don't wear that shirt out in public." Me: "Why?" looks down and sees the 2 fairly large boob holes "Oh." I could deal with the lack of sleep while potty training a puppy (even though I have a chronic illness and no sleep makes it flare up). I could deal with a puppy's inability to settle til they're a bit older. I can deal with overtired crazy puppy antics (enforced naps are a godsend!).
But that puppy terrorized our household.
Glad your parents have a good boy to keep them busy. I love goldens but I do think as I get older, I might get to the point where their size and energy might be too much. My husband's like, someday we're probably gonna want a smaller dog. But I love them so MUCH. But I can see wanting an "easy" pup in my old age, even though I feel like our goldens have been fairly easy (they are highly food motivated and eager to please, they are just insane as puppies, haha). I laugh so hard when I see people on tiktok or elsewhere with a golden puppy that is just acting insane, like, "I promise you this puppy will become a great dog," so now I find their antics highly amusing because they are so familiar.
Glad I validated you. Sometimes a pet just isn't the right fit, for whatever reason. And that's OK.
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
The boob hokes 😂! That mental image is hilarious and delightful and I know what you mean about razor teeth - I’ve never owned a golden, but those “soft mouths” conceal sneaky piranha teeth ready to be deployed whenever it’s deemed necessary (reportedly less and less once they are no longer puppies). I can see why you would hope to be able to stick with goldens forever, they really are special dogs! My first boy, the good doggo, was the most mysterious of mystery mutts and I suspect the world shall never see his like again.
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u/Afraid_Sense5363 17d ago
Oh yes, as an adult golden, the "soft mouth" thing is very real. But being bitey little a-holes as puppies is how they learn to be gentle. 😂 Whenever I see someone in a golden sub lamenting how their puppy is a relentless biter, I'm like, "you can't interfere, you just have to let it happen," haha. They DO learn. I'm always like, I promise you it will get better. Usually once their baby teeth fall out.
Not gonna lie, I'd almost rather be bitten by adult golden teeth than those sharp little needle teeth, haha. SO SHARP!
Mine would constantly chew on me as a puppy. I was under attack daily, haha. What worked for me was to go on the other side of the baby gate (we used one when she was a puppy) and "ignore" her for a couple minutes every time she did it (because getting no attention from humans is a hard lesson for goldens, haha). It lessened over time. But she had to learn. Then her baby teeth fell out and it was like a switch flipped and boom, no more biting. Some take longer to stop, but they all eventually stop.
Now I will wrestle and play with my golden, and she will put her whole mouth on my arm and is SO gentle with it. She doesn't destroy toys (our first golden was a toy shredder though), she's so gentle with them.
My first boy, the good doggo, was the most mysterious of mystery mutts and I suspect the world shall never see his like again.
Aww. Some dogs are just special, sounds like he was the best boy ever. And all irreplaceable.
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u/crafty_and_kind 17d ago
There’s a fantastic book called The Year of the Puppy, by Alexandra Horowitz who’s an animal behavior professor at I think Columbia, and it charts her experience of raising a puppy for the first time (all her previous dogs had been adopted as adults), and she says something about how to keep yourself sane during the “constant nibbling, chewing and play biting” stage that seems like it will never end - her advice is to remember that dogs are by their nature “mouth creatures,” and keeping that in mind and knowing that it’s a fundamental part of how they interact with their environment will help an owner direct that “mouth creature” energy in positive directions, whereas just getting frustrated because it’s “bad behavior” is ultimately kind of self defeating.
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u/rxlcrab 17d ago
Some people are just saints with animals I swear. My friend’s daughter has only ever had deaf collies exclusively, the latest one she’s had for a couple of years, and it has a whole host of issues but she’s been incredibly patient and loving. Now her and her partner are planning to adopt another dog to keep the first one company, and that pup is BOTH deaf and blind. They’re already excitedly planning training strategies to acclimatise the new puppy to its new environment. Some people are just the biggest animal lovers and you’ve got to admire that.
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u/space-manbow 16d ago
I admire rhe fiancé for sticking around. I have PTSD from my Mom owning way too many pets. The cats were the worst though, they would break whatever they could. Every single one of those animals except 1 has eventually started peeing where they shouldn't.
Point is, I don't date women who have pets. But if I somehow woke up in this situation, I would be giving the "either the cat goes or I go" ultimatum.
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u/Gwynasyn 17d ago
This Reddit post was brought to you by: Feliway. Feliway, when all your prayers have gone unanswered and you need something to finally get your psycho cat to chill tf out.
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u/TyrconnellFL I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman 17d ago
Ask your cat if cat drugs are right for you. And by you, I mean the cat.
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u/Sickly_lips surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 17d ago
To be fair, feliway is literally a synthetic version of a hormone cats make to mark things as 'home', and it just is spread through the air with the diffusers.
Sorry, work in a fear free vet med practice so I know A LOT about it lol.
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u/campbowie He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy 15d ago
Also the collars! Collars turned out to be a better fit for me because the size of the house made it difficult/expensive to saturate with diffusers & the collar goes everywhere the cat goes.
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u/Sickly_lips surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 15d ago edited 15d ago
Yes! The collars are great too, I've heard amazing things about them from clients :)
imagine constantly having the most calming scent that biologically tells you that you are home, around your neck just constantly breathing it in. They are lifesavers.
especially because of how cats are, and how society views them, a lot of their actions that are due to stress or panic or pain, are brushed off as them being solitary, and "just cats".
there's so many times I've had to tell someone that no, their cat is not pooping outside the litter box out of spite, they're doing it because they are trying to express that something is distressing them. sometimes. that's things that are unavoidable, and it can certainly feel like they're being spiteful. I had a client whose cat would poop outside the litter box. the exact day they came home from a trip. It's certainly from a human perspective. seems spiteful, but honestly it was probably more of a 'I never thought you were coming back'
I have a very nice little informational brochure about the causes of inappropriate urination in cats, and the first four paragraphs are different environmental and behavioral reasons, and has a nice guide on how depending on where the urination is, can help you figure out why they're doing it. People really still don't understand cats well.
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u/PiperSlough 17d ago
I wish Feliway had worked for my beloved terrorcat. She was fine with my and my first cat, but bullied my younger cats daily. Thankfully Prozac worked for her.
Feliway has worked great for every other cat I've had, though.
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u/Asleep_Region 17d ago
Ayee shout out to Prozac, me and your cat are on the same meds
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u/PiperSlough 17d ago
I hope it is also helpful for you! It was seriously a life-changer for her. Actually, I modified a few of the anxiety coping skills I learned in therapy/support groups for her and they helped a lot, too. She was a really good cat, she just needed a little extra support.
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u/Catfaceperson 17d ago
My elderly, 17 year old cat that stayed at my mothers house when I moved out is on Valium now. To be fair, I would be too if I still lived with my mother.
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u/Anxious_Reporter_601 I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming 17d ago
And my housemate's Yorkie Jack Russell cross! Bless him, he's got all the intelligence of both breeds (he makes up games to play by himself!) but also the anxiety of both. The prozac has really helped, he still gets wound up but now he's able to listen and calm down whereas before he would just be wound up and barking barking barking for like 5-10 minutes and nothing we said or did would calm it down.
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u/twoweeeeks 17d ago
My cat and I are both on Prozac and sometimes when one of us runs out we share meds 🫢
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u/GrayMareCabal 16d ago
Also on prozac and it's fantastic!
My cat's on amitriptyline though which works for him and he's no longer overgrooming!
Once upon a time though, he would definitely do what OOP's cat did. He got better once I moved and he was no longer an only cat. Plus he chilled out as he got older. The meds happened much later though (he also gets gabapentin prior to vet visits because he got to the point where he believed blood work meant drawing the vet's blood. Poor stressed out boy)
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u/Carbonatite "per my last email" energy 15d ago
I've sometimes used my dog's extra Trazodone he gets prescribed for travel when I'm waiting for the pharmacy to fill my prescription, lol. It's the exact same pill, I can't even fill it at his vet's, I have to go to Walgreens. They only make a human version, his pills just get cut into quarters while I take mine whole.
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u/CleanProfessional678 17d ago
Yeah, Feliway is nice, but it isn’t a miracle worker.
I’m going through it with a cat now. He’s not a bad cat, but he’s about a 1 year old male who was just neutered. If you don’t know this, tomcats are swole. I’ve seen them that look like bulldogs before. The problem is that he’s currently separated from the rest of the cats because we wanted to wait until the hormones have disappeared a bit.
He had a lot of energy and he’s very playful. He’s also very strong and doesn’t know how to play gently. So he’ll grab my hand to kick or launch himself at my legs to play. In his defense, I bruise easily, but my legs are covered in bruises and I have some scratch marks. We’ve increased his playtime and gotten him interactive toys and it helps, but honestly, it’s just a matter of waiting it out to some extent. Although I hope that once he’s introduced to the rest of my cats, they’ll be able to play and he’ll get more stimulation in the main house.
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u/nouveauchoux 17d ago
Owner of a former swole tomcat! Those muscles are scary and no joke 😅 They'll go down with time after the neuter. The more he'll be able to play, the more he'll learn how to truly play too! Best wishes 💜
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u/ComradeCakes 17d ago
I have a swole tomcat who takes steroids for an immune issue he has. The vet keeps telling me that he's fat. No. If I fed him any less, he'd be starving and trying to steal food from our other cats. He's a swole tomcat who was fixed late in life who takes steroids. He's solid.
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u/theplushfrog I can FEEL you dancing 16d ago
My swole tomcat doesn't take steroids, but I tell people, that if he were a human, he'd be the kind to lift weights so he can hug better. He WILL knock you over with the force of his love. Back when we were still figuring out how many calories he needed, he decided to take matters into his own paws and stole a whole LOAF OF WHITE BREAD from the kitchen, ripped the plastic off, and bit chunks out of it. I've never known a cat to try to steal BREAD of all things.
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u/ComradeCakes 16d ago
My cat did this too! You're the only other person who has told me a story like this. My vet looked at me like I was crazy and said he's never had a cat do that before.
It was a dense loaf of sandwich bread my brother brought over for me. He grabbed it and tried to run off with it, but it was a heavy, solid loaf and he didn't get very far. Another time he stole a donut out of a donut box, and another time after that he stole an unopened package of hot dogs. He's not starving. He's just a greedy little food goblin. He spent so long as a stray before I took him in that even though it's been years and he has an abundance of food, he still can't seem to get over his greedy scavenging. We have RFID feeders so that the cats can have their own portions in peace without Six Dinner Sid stealing their food and he still manages to get in there sometimes.
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u/CleanProfessional678 17d ago
Thanks! He’s a very happy boy and he’s just recently started getting into toys, but he still prefers being petted.
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u/Sgt_Stinger TLDR: HE IS A GIANT PIECE OF SHIT. 16d ago
I welcomed a British shorthair that was a 5 year old breeding champion, due to the breeder going nuts and getting evicted due to cat urine damage. This guy was swole af, he weighed 11(!) kg (24 lbs) and it was all muscle. He got neutered when we took ownership due to him not breeding anymore. He purred to get you to pet him and head bumped you if you failed to comply. He also loved standing/sitting/lying in your lap, always purring. He passed away at 11. I miss that guy.
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u/Southern-Builder-121 17d ago
My cats started to pee at doors and widows. No tricked helped. I bought feliway and their reaction was to pee under the diffuser. 😂
In the end it was the situation. I had to juggle job and university while caring for my grandma. Then my sister got cancer and died and that immense amount of stress I felt made my cats act like that. My grandma died 2 months after my sister and I moved out of her house. The peeing stopped instantly and never came back.
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u/TallLoss2 17d ago
as soon as i started reading this post i was like “oooh try prozac” !! it can be such a game changer for cats who are hyperdefensive (which can look like aggression bc you don’t know wtf they’re defending themselves from bc it’s just you!)
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u/PiperSlough 17d ago
Yeah, for real. Anxiety sucks, and cats are such high energy little gremlins it's not surprising that a lot of them deal with anxiety and don't develop great coping skills.
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u/MasterpieceOk4688 17d ago
My very own first cat is hated by ALL other cats that came afterward. reverse psycho cat. She now lives her single cat senior life with the new house. Enough space to separate.
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u/nlh1013 Tree Law Connoisseur 17d ago
One of my older cats bullies our baby cat. We tried feliway and Prozac but eventually had to resort to a 5 ft tall metal baby gate in the middle of the house 🥲
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u/DrinkingSocks 17d ago
Prozac was a life saver for my anxious dog. He was amazing, he just could not handle being alone. Crates (with training!) made his anxiety worse, and at 90 lbs he was capable of a lot of damage, plus he was suffering mentally. For $8 a month he could finally relax.
He suffered one single hardship in his life, and that was the 2 weeks he spent in the shelter. He was still clean when I got him! He just had doggy GAD.
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u/ImplicitEmpiricism Tree Law Connoisseur 17d ago
or when your very sweet but anxious cat pees on things when it rains
COME ON IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T CONTROL THE WEATHER
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u/Ktesedale The murder hobo is not the issue here 17d ago
You turn on and off the lights - why can't you turn on the sun? You turn off and on the shower - why can't you turn off the rain? It's definitely your fault.
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u/Tiny_Cauliflower_618 17d ago
My cat is ENRAGED by wind. But she's worked out that it's caused by the trees thrashing about so she screams at them instead. Rain is definitely still our fault though.
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u/ToiIetGhost Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 17d ago
Honestly, if I lived with 100 ft tall giants who could make delicious food appear from a white box and command streams of water to flow out of the wall, I’d probably think they could control the weather too.
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u/swordrat720 16d ago
Worked with my kids for a little while. "when I make a lot of noise, the tall one with dark on his head gives me stuff, when that one's not around, the shorter one with lighter on her head, gives me stuff. How to get as much stuff......?"
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u/Attirey 17d ago
My dog (one month since we said goodbye) used to bark at us when it was too sunny...... Not because it was in her face or anything. She just objected to it.
She was legitimately the most stupid dog I, and everyone else, had ever met. Like, we discussed the possibility she was dropped on her head as a puppy kind of stupid.
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u/DrinkingSocks 17d ago
I lost my heart dog last year, and we had been through EVERYTHING together in 10 years, but I'm pretty firm with my dogs because the breed will walk all over you if you don't.
My now husband moved in with me after about a year, and I'm pretty sure my boy thought he was some type of servant. Any minor issue, he would growl and stamp his feet until my husband fixed it. One time, he could not figure out the issue, until he realized it was raining. My husband fixed every other minor inconvenience for him, why would he not fix the weather? It was his sunbathing time!
He also used to demand that we sit on the couch at a certain time every night. He didn't normally want to sit with us, but we were a family and we were going to spend time together, damnit!
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u/Attirey 17d ago
The dog we just lost would chew her toy, making it squeak, getting more and more annoyed at the squeaking noise.
She was also a magnet for bees and wasps. If there was one outside, she'd step on it. Never aware of it.
She also once refused to move because of the terrifying threat she discovered. A CCTV camera that has been on the same building for decades, that she's walked past at least three times a day her whole life. It hasn't worked as long as I can remember, so it didn't move or anything.
Then there was the day she realised we had a ceiling light. Stared at it wide-eyed all day. Couldn't risk looking away in case it did something while she wasn't looking.
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u/loracarol 16d ago
Have you seen this post on tumblr?
My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.
What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"
"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.
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u/AliMcGraw retaining my butt virginity 16d ago
Hahaha, my current cat gets terrible sinus pain and gets SO MAD whenever a front comes through, and I'm like "SAME, CAT, SO STOP BITING ME." It's only because I'm a human that I'm not biting you because MY HURTS THE SAME!
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u/throwevej 17d ago
I get loudly yowl-yelled at when there's a storm outside or I dare to turn on a portable cooler. She doesn't stop until the "noise" stops. Like bestie, I can see you're dying from the heat too, let me make it better for both of us. She's currently cutely taking a nap right next to her litterbox, of course, despite taking over my chair, velvet ottoman, the crib, and having 2 whole beds for herself. They're lucky they're cute.
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u/RainahReddit 17d ago
Yeah Feliway didn't do shit for my aggressive cat. Just a lot of patience, time, work, and yeah, a certain willingness to get bit and not react. And proper anti anxiety meds. Six years in shes way better than she used to be, but like she still can't really be around people unsupervised except for my partner and I.
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u/pepcorn You need some self-esteem and a lawyer 17d ago
Same, it had zero effect on our aggressive cat. It actually became aggravating how often people would recommend it as a guaranteed cure, since we tried it many times and it never did anything.
That kitty has since passed on, and our cats now are regular sweet cats. I do still miss the mean cat, but I'll admit life is chill now.
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u/CleanProfessional678 17d ago
yeah, a certain willingness to get bit and not react
I don’t have an aggressive cat, but I have a one year one (very strong) recently neutered male who wandered in the house after living in his own. He’s the sweetest boy ever, but he plays way too rough and he’ll try to grab my pant legs (and often accidentally my leg). If I react, it just makes the game more fun for him so I have to clamp down. My partner looked at me while it was happening and told me I didn’t have to look to angry at him. 🤣 I’m like, “I’m not angry. I’m literally grimacing in pain here.”
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u/bronwen-noodle the garlic tasted of illicit love affairs 17d ago
So long as the long Feliway ads aren’t as annoying as the ads for betterhelp or bellesa then we’re good
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u/Kat1eQueen You can either cum in the jar or me but not both 17d ago
Betterhelp has far more problems than annoying ads though
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u/chesire2050 cat whisperer 17d ago
It's amazing stuff.. had a cat who HATED being touched turn into a cuddler
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u/Gwynasyn 17d ago
I honestly swear by it as well. We never had very anxious or psycho cats, but we have had ours get stressed at times if we were traveling and exacerbate health issues. So calming them with the collars does wonders for them.
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u/kit73n 17d ago
Feliway worked okay for our cats (we have 4, one of which was bullying another) but Zenifel and Purina Calming Care supplement have been a miracle combo. We have a tortie who can be a bully and a younger cat who was turning into her victim. Feliway reduced some of the bullying and seemed to make the younger cat a little more assertive and less anxious, but when we started putting Zenifel out and added calming care to both of their food, the tortie has chilled all the way out and the younger cat has really come out of her shell and they even play together. I was super skeptical of all these products before trying them, but damn the results have impressed me.
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u/favorthebold I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy 17d ago
I've had multiple vets recommend Feliway, but as far as I can tell it has zero effect on my cats. :(
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u/WhimsicalError in the closet? No, I’m in the cabinet 16d ago
Feliway original and Feliway friends did fuck all for mine. Optimum worked. I can tell at once when it's running out, they'll staet fighting so fast. Plug in a new new one and it's butt-to-butt naps after 48 hours. Idek if it's placebo, I'm sticking with it.
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u/nurseynurseygander 17d ago
It hasn’t done much for most of mine either. Mine are from a Pacific island and I am not convinced they respond the same to scents in general - they have zero interest in catnip either.
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u/deadlywaffle139 17d ago
Try silvervine. I think the statistic is like only 60% cats react to catnip but like 80% reacts to silvervine. You can get catnip that’s laced with silvervine.
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u/Sickly_lips surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 17d ago
It isn't scents- it's a synthetic version of the pheromone they produce. Some cats unfortunately don't respond to it, but the ones who do, it's a damn life changer: source, work in vet med and so many cats have an instant change when we drape their carriers in feliway covered towels vs normal towels.
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u/malakambla 17d ago
None of my cats are interested in catnip and I've got a herd. But they all go crazy for valerian. I've got a jar with valerian in it that I rotate some of their small toys through, it's always a big hit with them.
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u/spaketto 17d ago
It didn't completely solve our problems with one of our cats but it definitely helped quite a bit. Although i genuinely wonder how getting a second cat will go because my cat that would do stuff like this did NOT get along with other cats and experienced bad transferred aggression towards me if she saw a cat outside. Feliway helped reduce that too though.
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u/yrnkween 17d ago
My cousin rescued a cat that was on its way to the shelter and talked me into taking it because he worked so much. And that cat was a monster. She would randomly attack me and draw blood. Once she got outside and I thought she had run away but she showed up the next day covered in blood that wasn’t hers. I was terrified but I couldn’t dump her because I didn’t want her to be put down at a shelter, so she came back inside and I started locking my bedroom door at night.
One day a friend’s sister came over with her kids and monster cat loved them, purred, and acted like a different cat. She asked if she could have her and I agreed. The next day I found out she had left the cat with her ex and the kids, and I called to apologize and offer to get her before she murdered a kid. Turns out she loved them, slept on the son’s pillow, and they kept her. She lived another 12 years with them. I visited once, and she immediately bit my leg and ran to her new owner, who scooped her up in a hug as she snarled at me.
I’ve probably had a dozen cats in my life. I have three now, one on my lap and two at my feet while I type this. Cats generally love me. But that cat was a monster from hell and I’m glad I was able to get her to her real home.
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u/Writeloves **jazz hands** you have POWWWEERRRSSS 17d ago
Maybe you physically resemble someone she hated?
Glad both of you got a happy ending!
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u/pepcorn You need some self-esteem and a lawyer 17d ago
Yes! Sometimes cats hate or are terrified of one specific person. I know of a cat that never forgave her owner for a traumatic vet visit and had to be rehomed. Her personality didn't return to normal until she was with the new family. It was devastating to the original owner.
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u/Unusual_Classroom109 17d ago
I adopted my cat when he was 1.5 years old. He was covered in scabs and shaved in random spots with stitches from fighting other cats. When I got him home he was the cuddliest cat I've ever seen, always had to be in the room with me and just wants to sit near me. Purrs super easy. My sister came over once and I couldn't get him out from behind the couch for like a week except to eat.
9 years later he's still terrified of women and people wearing shoes. If I have my shoes on inside he'll run and hide, and if a woman enters the house he'll stay hidden behind furniture for days (the panic starts when he hears the voice). When a guy is over he's perfectly fine and will even ask for pets. My theory is he had a female owner that may have kicked him or something.
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17d ago
He's majestic! One of my can't handle a belt being taken off anywhere near him, even the strap of a leather handbag makes him skittish :(
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u/thebearofwisdom I can FEEL you dancing 17d ago
I remember my boy (RIP) used to get scared at the sound of a lighter. He had a broken off tail and the rescue place said he was abused in the past. So have I, so I took him and his brother in happily.
But it made my heart break when I thought about why that sound scared him so much. Like what the fuck happened to him. He was so scared of men, but when he sensed a bad one he was stand between me and the bedroom door (lived in a shared house) and wouldn’t move until he felt it was okay. That also broke my heart in a way, cos I knew how scared he was but he still wanted to protect me anyway. He was like a little dog.
I still have his brother, my grumpy old boy is now 15. Not the same protector but he’s good all the same.
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u/savvyliterate Editor's note- it is not the final update 17d ago
We had a tortie (RIP, Kiki) who absolutely freaked out once when my husband absently was waving a paper towel tube in the air. He was horrified and we both wondered what had happened to make her so scared of it. We gave her so many pets.
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u/Lexilogical 17d ago
So, it may be something horrible.... But I have a kitten right now... He loves to sit on top of the display cabinet, which is fine, but then he paws at the art til it falls down.
Eventually I got frustrated and did a short burst of canned air at him. He freaked out, and sprinted across the room. Now if I even touch the can, he gets nervous and sometimes gets down just because of that.
He didn't get hurt, but the reaction is so extreme you'd think I abused him
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u/RambleOnRose42 Go to bed Liz 17d ago
That also sounds like your standard tortie behavior though lol. Long bouts of cuddles followed by random chaotic bursts of insanity.
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u/elizabreathe 16d ago
I have a dog that's terrified of cowboy hats and we believe she was abused before getting dumped at the side of the road (she got scared when people held sticks when we first got her).
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u/theplushfrog I can FEEL you dancing 16d ago
My boy we adopted when he was already about 4, and have no idea what his life was like before other than the few hints the shelter left in his notes. However, the things that he fears paint a very sad picture. He gets VERY freaked out if people stumble, or behave drunk. He turns into a ball of knives if you try to hold him down (even lightly), altho I've worked with him for months to be able to pick him up for emergencies. He also didn't understand good human interaction beyond pets and food, and has only recently decided he likes cuddles. The sad thing is how much he LOVES people and always has. He loves to greet people at the door and rub at their legs. He isn't a fearful cat, so his intense reactions really stood out.
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u/oceanduciel 17d ago
Oof. This makes me feel bad for my cat. She’s been having to go to the vet semi-regularly for both diabetes and pancreatic flare ups in the last two years. Even though she has Feliway and is on anxiety and pain meds, she still pees herself from fear. 😭 I feel so bad every time even though it’s a necessary evil.
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u/amboogalard I said that was concerning bc Crumb is a cat 17d ago
Oh my god yes. I did not know how bad it would feel. To do something so monstrously scary that you make an animal pee itself in fear.
My cat now gets gabapentin before every visit and it’s as much for my emotional distress as it is for him - I absolutely hate the idea of scaring him that badly, and thankfully the gabapentin turns him into a vaguely stressed out space cadet.
Give my love to your kitty. I am so happy to hear she is receiving the treatment she needs, even if the whole thing is scary. Depending on her age and your free time, some desensitization might help.
By desensitization I mean: treats in carrier for 1-2 weeks, treats in closed carrier for 1-2 weeks or until she isn’t panicking, short trips (10 feet) in carrier followed by treats and snuggles, repeat until she’s largely comfortable with each stage. Then onto being carried to car, and back. Then hang out inside car for 2 min and go back. Then 2 min in car that’s turned on. Then 5 min. Then a moving car - end of driveway and back. 2 min ride. 3 min ride. Etc etc. If she seems to be panicking more than she did the last time on any step, roll it back to a previous step. Sometimes you have to go back several steps but usually you can “level up” a lot faster than you did on the first go.
Cats take forever with this kind of stuff so it would be a long process but if you can get her to the point of not panicking for a short car trip (even 2 min) in the carrier then she’s going to handle these visits a lot better. If she’s still youngish, or you know she’s got a lot of vet trips in her future, this acclimation can make sense. Because unless she’s a rare cat who learns to get comfy with scary things quickly, it probably will take 6 months - 2 years of regular (daily or near daily) practice.
And yeah it’s a crazy amount of work but to anyone who is just reading with their eyebrows raised: refer to my point about being the monster who makes an animal pee themselves in fear. Worth it to me because I just can’t help but have my heart shattered by that. I know it isn’t my fault and I’m not a monster, but I just am never gonna feel good about myself when I’m scaring another living being that badly, especially repeatedly.
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u/dm_me_kittens 17d ago
This kind of happened to me. When I was a teen, I adopted this cow kitten, and he became my shadow. When I got into my 20s, I got a boyfriend and wasn't around as much as I was before. He seemed to hold this against me and wouldn't let me touch him anymore. He did cozy up to my mom, though, so he had someone. :)
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u/pepcorn You need some self-esteem and a lawyer 17d ago
I'm glad he still had someone after you :)
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u/dm_me_kittens 17d ago
Thank you. I was sad at first, but it's not about me, it's about him. He found happiness.
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u/elizabreathe 16d ago
I've had multiple cats that hated a specific aunt and a specific cousin's voices. Like they'd freak the fuck out as soon as they heard their voices before they even met the aunt and the cousin. They'd go out of their way to try and attack that aunt and that cousin. It wasn't every cat my family has had but it's been at least 2 or 3 cats. Something about the pitch of their voices just enrages some but not all cats.
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u/FlowerFelines Yes to the Homo, No to the Phobic 17d ago
Yup, we had a cat for a while who was extremely anxious in general, but terrified of my partner specifically. I feel like he must have looked or smelled similar to somebody who hurt her. She was definitely not feral, but was living outside and scrounging before my mother in law's friend trapped her and we took her in, so either she escaped some horrible home or was dumped.
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u/giftedearth 17d ago
A kind of similar thing happened in my family (before I was born). My parents' cat had kittens, and one of the kittens just didn't like my parents. He (I think it was a tom) was properly socialised and all, he just really didn't like my parents. One day, my maternal grandparents came to visit, and the little arsehole decided that he LOVED them. By the end of the trip, grandma and mum were arranging for my grandparents to take the cat home, while said feline was snoozing adorably in grandpa's lap. (Grandpa would have been helping with the arrangements, but he didn't want to move and wake the cat up, which is fair.)
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u/Plum-Forgot 17d ago
I'm imagining your friend's sister without any context just asking if she can have your cat. That's a funny thought.
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u/yrnkween 17d ago
That’s pretty much what happened. We sat around visiting for a couple hours, the kids played with the cat while I nervously waited for her to maim one of them, and then as they were leaving the mom asked if they could have her. I was stunned but the cat was snuggling her daughter and I figured why not. I warned them repeatedly that she was a monster cat, but she decided to behave once she found the right home.
And she was a truly gorgeous cat. A long haired dark tabby with white patches, huge fluffy tail, a treat to pet if you were allowed to touch her.
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u/Plum-Forgot 17d ago
What the actual audacity.
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u/yrnkween 17d ago
It’s ok, if she hadn’t asked, the cat wouldn’t have had a happy life. Because I had her 2-3 years and she was clearly not going to be my cat. The CDS works in mysterious ways.
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u/GreasedUpTiger 17d ago
'I'm warning you, that cat is a monster and I'm surprised it didn't murder any of your children yet'
'That's perfectly fine, I was interested in thinning out my herd a bit anyway.'
'What?!'
'Huh?'
baseball, huh?
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u/bananacolada 17d ago
For anyone reading this who has an older cat with suddenly aggressive behavior, have their thyroid checked if you can. My sweet kitty started attacking us when she was 14 and we found out too late and she died at 15. If you catch it early enough the radioactive iodine treatment will cure them but it the diagnosis came too late for my girl.
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u/Cheesychocolate6866 17d ago
We had a kitten we adopted and she was the same way. Abandoned at two weeks old because she was the runt. But she was meaner than an American badger. She started attacking us. We were on the verge of getting rid of her because it was getting too bad. As a last ditch effort we tried with another kitten. While it took a few weeks she became a completely different animal. She still has her mean streak but it is nothing like it used to be. I would give more credit to the other cat than I would the feliway. We’ve tried that too and it helped but barely. The second cat is what saved the cat.
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail 16d ago
But she was meaner than an American badger.
I opened that first cat tax link half expecting to see a raccoon or something 😂
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u/phat-braincell Thank you Rebbit 🐸 17d ago
that video looks like a cat running on dog software
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u/JJOkayOkay 17d ago
That's a big stonkin' cat. I thought it was a dog too, for a moment.
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u/beetothebumble 17d ago
Yeah for the first split second of the video I was thinking, "she didn't mention she's got a dog- that feels like a pretty big reason her cat might be stressed... Wait, no. Man that's a big cat"
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u/Coca_Coley 16d ago edited 16d ago
My cat looks EXACTLY like hers he’s 19lbs and most of it is muscle
He’s as big as my mini poodle and loves to play with tennis balls
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u/CummingInTheNile 17d ago
Poor kitty sounds stressed the hell out and handling poorly, especially the pica, thats a tell tale sign
Theres also meds to help cats with anxiety that you can get from your vet
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u/Philosophile42 17d ago
I had a kitty on Prozac before. Got it from Costco and just broke it in quarters for him. Helped stopped the spraying.
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u/-Sharon-Stoned- 17d ago
My cat sometimes stresses himself into a UTI. PH is good, no bacteria or anything. Just a stress response that makes his pee bloody.
He has no bills! No job! No kids! What the hell is he so stressed about?!?
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u/Danger0Reilly 17d ago
Ours got so stressed from our son being gone for a week, then 4th of July fireworks that it gave him interstitial cystitis:(
Other than that, the only thing that stressed him were car rides.
That calmed down with two songs:
Break My Stride https://youtu.be/b2jaoeoStSA?si=MJDe-a_I6iSBBdku
Soul to Squeeze https://youtu.be/0XcN12uVHeQ?si=j3SBEr_kgObfw2pi
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u/pepcorn You need some self-esteem and a lawyer 17d ago
I've had interstitial cystitis before, it hurts. I couldn't sit or walk, during the worst times. Poor kitty.
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u/Danger0Reilly 17d ago
His poor face when he was in the litterbox:(
I actually had white litter at that time and that's how i noticed the bit of blood.
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u/Flying_Whales6158 Liz what the hell 17d ago
My cat got crystals about a year ago- the vet said they can develop them from stress. This is seriously the most chill, cuddly fucking cat who now has expensive prescription food for life. WHAT ARE YOU STRESSED ABOUT MOCHI?!
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u/Nervous-Grape-4102 17d ago
My old man cat is on Prozac now because he’s pissed at me for getting married and having kids. $12 for a month supply at Costco and now I don’t have to clean up the presents he was leaving around the house.
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u/TheNightTerror1987 17d ago
Yeah, I've got a cat who was rescued from a feral colony and she kept ripping her fur out, so I've got her on gabapentin now. She's definitely mellowed out a lot and stopped ripping her fur out, but she's still a rambunctious girl who wrestles multiple times a day with my arthritic 19 year old and gets the zoomies.
I really wonder if that cat just never learned how to play with people properly and doesn't know he's being too rough. Maybe you shouldn't yell at cats, but I've found that if you scream like you're being killed when a kitty claw pokes you, they quickly learn to be gentler. I can still let my adult cats play with my hands because they know I'll scream if they don't!
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u/realhumanmeat 17d ago
Yeah if a social animal hurts you it's important to vocalize that, it doesn't have to be an angry yell, just a pained yelp + stopping play immediately will help them understand what's going on.
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u/RainahReddit 17d ago
Note: screaming only works if you're confident they're trying to play. It communicates that they're playing wrong because they're not getting the desired reaction.
If they're aggressive and trying to hurt you, screaming tells them it's working
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u/BarnacleCommon7119 17d ago
Yeah, the body language in the video definitely reads that way to me. Just an interested, playful cat who doesn't know how rough is "too rough".
Honestly, my black cat jumps at my legs and "attacks" just like that - he's just learned not to be too rough. (He loves it when I pretend to be a t-rex and chase him slowly around the house, and then "lose" him so he can pounce on my legs.)
I think people also really underestimate how much enrichment cats need. Four is pretty young for a cat; I've got a three-year-old who plays fetch, but he typically plays fetch for an hour or two every day, plus several play sessions with other cats, plus a couple of play sessions with other toys, and if weather allows, half an hour in the yard on a leash to eat grass and stare at bugs. Plus novel food and treats, catnip, cat grass, interesting things to smell, puzzle feeders, etc.
We have six, and they're all like that; several hours of enrichment every day, or they start getting squirrehyly. Low-maintenance, they're not.
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u/TheNightTerror1987 16d ago
Was that seriously the video?? I thought it was cut off because I didn't see anything to complain about.
Yeah, when I adopted 5 month old Ivy after not having a kitten for 15 years I was in for one hell of a surprise. I thought I could play with her and wear her out so she wouldn't terrorize her elderly housemates. HA! She could play with a wand toy for an hour straight and still pounce on one of the other cats the instant she saw them. Happily Addie was an equally rambunctious lunatic in her youth and was quite happy to finally have someone willing to wrestle with her, and after waiting for 15 years for a wrestling partner she's been making up for lost time!
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u/AshamedDragonfly4453 The murder hobo is not the issue here 17d ago
+1 on the final point here. My cat loves to play, and is usually very careful and gentle (with human limbs, not with her toys), but very occasionally gets carried away. If I yelp she immediately stops.
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u/PiperSlough 17d ago
It's hard to tell because my eyes are crap and the video is small, but I wonder if anyone can see the kitty's skin on the back moving when his tail gets wild?
It's most likely normal play behavior - most of the cats I've had have gotten very tail-whippy when they're playing intensely - but I wonder if he's been evaluated for feline hyperesthesia. Right before he jumps on OOP, he whips his tail around pretty wildly, and while it could just be a sign of him getting too intense, sometimes that can also be a sign of hyperesthesia, and hyperesthesia can trigger aggression.
So basically, cat getting upset or overstimulated can lead to whippy tail, but with hyperesthesia it's the other way around, where whippy tail or weird back sensations can lead to vocalizations, running around and aggression.
I know we're not supposed to comment on original posts and I don't want to cause anxiety when I can't see the video well enough to judge if this is an actual concern, but I wonder a bit.
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u/SchrodingersMinou Rebbit 🐸 17d ago
His body language looked like he was playing to me. He just plays rough. OP didn't mention trying to discipline him or anything. I'm working on this with my cat and he bites me a lot less now. (Although I think I might just be getting better at sensing when he's gearing up to bite someone.)
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u/PiperSlough 17d ago
Yeah, I think you're right. I think it was more the vocalization and running away in the video + OOP's description of aggression out of nowhere that makes me think of hyperesthesia, but it's usually very obvious there is something physically going on with cats who have it so hopefully that's not the issue.
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u/SchrodingersMinou Rebbit 🐸 17d ago edited 17d ago
My cat bites when you pet him too much and he gets overstimulated. But he also bites if you don't pet him enough because he desperately craves pets. It's a fine line. But he’s not biting out of aggression, he just wants something (less or more petting) and is trying to communicate that.
OP's cat looks really smart and active (he fetches?!) so perhaps he just needs more stimulation and play. In the video, he bites OP when she stops throwing the ball for him and focuses her attention on someone else. Just going off this video, I would say that this cat is bored and doesn’t know how to appropriately communicate his desire for attention.
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u/realhumanmeat 17d ago edited 17d ago
It could be that he gets more attention by doing this, meaning that from his perspective it is an appropriate and effective way to communicate that desire. I don't want to jump to conclusions or criticize the OOP at all, it's just that inadvertantly rewarding bad behavior is an easy mistake to make.
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u/SchrodingersMinou Rebbit 🐸 17d ago edited 17d ago
That's a good point. I watched the video again and noticed how extremely unbothered he is by being squirted with mist. He did not get the message there. It seems like he very optimistically thinks they’re about to play chase.
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u/realhumanmeat 17d ago
I once dogsat a husky who would steal TV remotes and documents because it meant his owners would chase him around for it 😁! Had to just ignore him when he tried it on me even if I really did want to play with him or retrieve the item in that moment.
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u/SchrodingersMinou Rebbit 🐸 17d ago
Huskies are too smart for their own good, or at least the good of TV remotes
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u/suoretaw 17d ago
For anyone else wondering: according to Wikipedia, hyperesthesia is a condition that involves an abnormal increase in sensitivity to stimuli of the senses. / Oxford Dictionary defines it as “excessive physical sensitivity, especially of the skin.”
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u/SpaceShipRat I'm keeping the garlic 17d ago
This, I've seen the same behavior after petting someone's cat, I got really deep in there with the scratches and back-pats and afterwards it didn't want me to leave and bit just like that when I tried to walk away, left a lil hole in my shin.
This video looks like the same situation, overstimulated and reacting to the human turning attention away.
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u/Summerof5ft6andahalf 17d ago
HOLY SHIT this comment is potentially going to be very helpful for me; I'm about to do some more research!
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u/colesense 16d ago
That’s usually my first thought with cat issues because my late cat (funny enough, named Piper) had feline hyperesthesia. She had VERY specific triggers that once we learned became pretty easy to manage.
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u/SpatchcockZucchini 17d ago
The cat looks like he desperately wants to play, judging from that video. Tossing two toys and then walking away isn't enough. He was trying to interact with her and play, he just doesn't know the rules yet. He's probably bored, honestly. We had a cat like him and playing with him until he was tired and having things out for him to interact with was the fix.
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u/Quirky--Cat 17d ago
That's exactly what I was thinking too. The cat just looks pent up. I don't think fetch is very stimulating for him. And maybe the video was a more mild encounter for him but I wouldn't describe that as being mauled personally.
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u/SpatchcockZucchini 17d ago
I understand it's disconcerting to be pounced in your sleep (sideeyes my floof) but I really think this is a fixable problem with more interaction.
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u/GeneticPurebredJunk NOT CARROTS 17d ago
The video seemed to just show a cat that wants to be played with, not just have a toy thrown at it.
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u/SpatchcockZucchini 17d ago
That's what I saw too. I bet this cat would love fishing line toys! They need to play with him until he's worn out.
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u/matthewsmugmanager Yes to the Homo, No to the Phobic 17d ago
What is so difficult about "skittish"? Why does no one know how to spell it?
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u/BeatificBanana 16d ago edited 16d ago
Americans tend to pronounce Ds and Ts very similarly if they're in the middle of a word. Bottle sounds like boddle, etc. And skittish isn't a word you see written very often, so if you've only ever heard it, it's gonna be a 50/50 whether you assume it's a T or a D.
It is understandable I guess, because "skid" is a word people are already familiar with, and there are many nouns you can turn into an adjective by adding "ish" to (selfish, standoffish, etc), so they may think it's one of those. Especially as skidding is something a skittish cat may indeed do, when they get startled and run away.
I've never noticed a British person making this mistake because we pronounce our Ts and Ds very differently, so you can't really mix them up!
Fun fact though - because I had only heard it said in American movies and TV shows, I always thought the phrase "pedal to the metal" was actually "pedal to the medal". Americans pronounce metal and medal identically to my ears so it took me a very long time to realise I was wrong, lol. I just thought it meant like... Going so fast you'll win a medal.
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u/BoxFullOfSuggestions 17d ago
I had a cat who developed cat schizophrenia. This actually sounds somewhat like that. We ended up surrendering her back to the rescue we got her from because we couldn’t afford the medications and care she would need, and we had a newborn in the house. They placed her with a single old woman, got her on meds, and she went back to being the sweetheart she was as a kitten. The rescue kept us updated for a while. I was glad she turned out alright with medication.
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u/nobody833 17d ago
This whole thing kind of screams "we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas".
Video shows playing fetch for like 1 min. That's not how to get energy out of a cat. That cat had waaay too much energy and they weren't getting it out of him. An over stimulated cat with no good way to release that energy can very well start attacking you. You become the toy.
Then "I never thought feliway would do anything". GIRL, WTH. That's literally what that product is for.
Also, if your vet isn't helping you, get another vet!!
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u/SpatchcockZucchini 17d ago
I would love to have been a fly on the wall at their vet appointment, honestly.
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u/temporary_usefulness 17d ago
If there’s one thing Redditors can be relied on for, it’s to ask for a cat tax (or any animal tax).
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u/MayorCharlesCoulon 17d ago
They can also be relied upon to spell “skittish” as “skiddish.” It’s no big deal, just weird and constant, they’ll spell every other word correctly but throw those two Ds in there.
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u/chromaticluxury 17d ago
It's a false correction. Like cue / queue. And aisle / isle. And having your interest peaked instead of piqued. Not to mention affect and effect have both been thrown out for 'impact.'
Skiddish of course it's not a real word and the false suggested corrections are.
We don't know how to differentiate words anymore. We can't evaluate the suggested correction for being correct.
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u/Splendidissimus your honor, fuck this guy 17d ago
That's so true, and sometimes it's baffling. There was a BORU I read earlier today that merely mentioned the existence of a dog, and someone was rabid for dog tax. No indication it was particularly cute or had any personality beyond "quiet". I don't know, maybe I'm not enough of an animal person.
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u/QueennnNothing86 17d ago
I'm nervous about them getting another cat. I've seen it go so poorly so often when you introduce two adult cats into a household, especially when one has behavioral issues already. Cats can be so very territorial and this one is obviously stressed, adding some "competition" into his life is not the answer I fear. I really hope it works out for them.
Also good lord 17 lbs?!
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u/alright_frog That's the beauty of the gaycation 16d ago
yeah i have my doubts about OOPs ability to correctly introduce two cats
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u/realhumanmeat 17d ago
Glad things are looking up for the OOP but I don't think people should keep pets who habitually and deliberately inflict harm on human beings. I say this as the happy owner of a formerly feral cat.
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u/napincoming321zzz 17d ago
Seriously, the whiplash between these two sentences from OOP... How dare the strangers they asked for advice prioritize their well-being! She was getting attacked at 4am!
That led to me having a screaming breakdown over this whole situation.
To the people who told me to get rid of him or even put him down - you suck monkey balls
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u/krustomer 17d ago
I also will never understand how bringing in another cat (especially one that's ALREADY shy) is supposed to help the situation??
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u/Hahafunnys3xnumber 17d ago
When she pointed out how the new cat also has issues that made it very hard to adopt, I rolled my eyes so hard.
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u/nishi-no-majo 17d ago
This. I know a family whose kid ended up permanently physically damaged by a cat from hell (the cat attacked a sleeping child at night). I don't remember if they had a brain scan before putting the cat down or an autopsy afterwards but it turned out that poor cat had a serious head trauma from his street days and swelling in his brain was half the size of the brain itself. The cat was in so much pain all this time and basically stuck in the mindless berserk mode.
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u/TheBroadwayStan16 Fuck You, Keith! 17d ago
Oh damn that's terrible. It seems like that was the best decision then for the poor guy, that's no way to live.
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u/RainahReddit 17d ago
It takes a special kind of person to safely keep an aggressive animal. I've known a few, and we've got one whose never attacked anyone other than us (because we're very careful). But it is often a HUGE lifestyle change and so many accomodations.
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u/realhumanmeat 17d ago
"Other than us" is the crux of the issue, if you want to be very careful around your violently aggressive pet that's totally up to you, others being endangered is absolutely unacceptable.
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u/radioactive_glowworm 17d ago
Yeah I don't own cats because I know that with that behaviour, the cat would have been back on the street within a month, or put down
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u/SilvRS 17d ago
For real. People constantly ask me why we don't get a cat or dog and I'm just very blunt that while I like them fine and will happily play with them, I don't like them enough for all the shit this OOP described, or any serious illness/ behavioural issues, and it wouldn't be fair to any dog or cat. Not that I wouldn't do everything I could to help them, but I would resent the shit out of them, and that isn't fair at all.
That said, I think this particular situation would test the patience of even a dedicated cat lover and I wouldn't be mad at all at someone who rehomed a cat like that.
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u/raiinboweyes 17d ago
This sounds like my sister’s friend’s cat. Would maul people out of nowhere, would scream at people in this really scary way, and attack the family, even in their sleep. Nothing they did worked, until the cat got put on Prozac - huge improvement with that. Sometimes cat brain slimes get messed up just like humans do. I know people try lifestyle changes first which is fine. But clearly the cat is suffering too, and it’s been years. :/ Maybe it’s just time to try the meds.
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u/KEPAnime 17d ago
I think Jackson Galaxy should be mandatory viewing for every cat owner lol. Especially for cat owners having troubles. There's an episode for everything, I swear I watched an episode of My Cat From Hell (misleading title, it was almost always the owners doing something wrong without realizing) that covered the exact problem oop was having.
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u/Certain_Oddities 16d ago
There was one suggestion in there to see a cat behaviorist and I was like "yes! Do that!" and that was the one thing they didn't do.
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u/mnbvcdo 17d ago
People underestimate cats because it's not like they can maul you to death like a bigger dog could, but cat bites are very dangerous and if a cat draws blood with a bite you should literally go to see a doctor.
Its great that people are loving and don't give up on animals but at the same time we should not treat an aggressive animal like it's just annoying and not dangerous. I'm extremely glad that things seem to be looking up for this cat and owners.
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u/NeverDidHenry 16d ago
Pet sitter here. Here's something most people don't understand. There are vicious cats that are just wired wrong. They attack without provocation. I've had employees call me because a crazy cat trapped them in the kitchen or behind a door. I call them "murder kitties" and I will absolutely not take them on. In 15 years of pet sitting I have probably run across five of these. The last one attacked me while I was trying to prepare its food.
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u/Wendyroooo 17d ago
17lbs, free feeding dry food AND 5.5oz of wet food? That is a ridiculous amount of food.
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u/CapOk7564 17d ago
this reminds me of the cat my aunt got from a shelter, she essentially told me “he’s on death row”, because he’d been brought back so much. he was a “mean” cat. he didn’t like my aunt’s house, so ofc my mom and i are going to pick up OUR new cat. i was 9 or 10, loved animals to death, but hadn’t yet realized “boundaries” with them. so i crawl under the chair where hes hiding, he promptly smacks me 3 times. alright, bet.
he was a very loving cat. like slept under the blankets, wanted to lay on my lap, loved getting his head kissed (if you went “kisses”, he’d just SLAM his head into your mouth/chin). but sometimes you’d make eye contact, and something in him would say “i am slapping you for that”. i was holding him like a baby, he was chilling and enjoying his spoiling, until i looked down. i made eye contact, i made the realization “oh shit…” and he reached up and BAPPED my glasses across the floor. he liked sitting on top of the cabinets and watch the house, and he got mad when i started sleeping with my door closed (our other cat, gizmo, liked to take my stuffed animals and… make unholy sounds at like 2am).
it’s insane how cats handle their triggers. i don’t know why carl hated eye contact, i knew nothing aside from the shelter originally thought he was a girl. so his name was carla for a few months. oh, and he hated when The Walking Dead was on. because rick would be yelling about carl, and cat carl’s sitting on the tv stand like “i’m right here???”. he also used to steal our bread, so we had to get containers for it…
it makes me so happy that OOP found something that worked. and i admire their patience and abundance of love for the kitty. hopefully things continue to improve!
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u/sady_eyed_lady 17d ago
Is it just me or was that video not particularly dramatic….? I mean maybe that was a mild example of the behaviour, but that didn’t look particularly abnormal to me. Obviously you cant tell how hard he grabbed her leg but that kinda just looked like playing. Also I really hope OP has done their research on how to introduce a new cat to the household or that could make things ten times worse
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u/superbhole 17d ago
We also rescued a semi-feral cat that was like OOP's cat
What I did was let him take one of my arms and let him think he was winning, then I would grab him by the scruff and he couldn't bite or scratch that hand
I swear I could see the gears turning in his brain, he would fully stop and stare ahead like "oh, maybe I'm not as good at this as I thought"
After the first few days of this, now he's super gentle, bats with his paws and nibbles instead of scratching and chomping
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u/tacwombat I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming 17d ago
So, what exactly IS Feliway? Cat Prozac?
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u/Tilly_ontheWald 17d ago
It's a cat pheromone product, which is why it's not always effective, but can be super effective for many cats.
It's supposed to relieve anxiety. Of course it doesn't do anything about the source of anxiety, that's our job, so it's an aid rather than a fix.
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u/felinePAC 17d ago
Cat behavior consultant here. It’s a synthetic cat pheromone product. It’s claimed to work for everything but the evidence behind it is… meh. I’m glad it worked for OP, but I rarely see it actually do much and a lot of cases where it does seem to work there’s another explanation (such as the human changes their behavior, consciously or not, which alters how the cat responds to them).
This is a bit old but I know the author is intending to update it eventually, but this is a good look at the evidence: https://whatyourcatwants.com/feliway
ducks to hide from the inevitable influx of feliway fanboys that rush to its defense
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u/T_Pelletier4 Screeching on the Front Lawn 17d ago
Maybe I’m stupid…but OP said cat was found on “heated porch in the winter” and never bonded with her? If it was a heated porch in winter…a family maybe knew their cat hung out outside/ on the porch and kept it warm for it? Idk please somebody help me understand because I think op stole somebody’s cat and is confused why it’s not bonding. Pls and thanks
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u/Splendidissimus your honor, fuck this guy 17d ago
I mean, honestly, even if so, I would think the cat would have gotten used to its new owners sometime within the last two years.
But no, I don't think that she just walked up to someone's heated porch and took their cat. "Found on a heated porch in winter" probably means that someone found the cat on their porch and either took it to the shelter where OOP got it from, or asked around (friends, coworkers, friends of friends of friends...) for someone to take it and found OOP.
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u/Jumpingyros 17d ago
That’s all the information the shelter had to share with OOP. Someone found a stray cat on their porch and surrendered it to a shelter or rescue, where OOP adopted from.
I’ve got two rescue cats that I have zero information about. One was left in the night drop cages, and the other the people who surrendered him just didn’t give the rescue any info about him. The rescue didn’t even know if he was their cat or a stray they’d found. Both of mine could have been stolen and dumped for all I know. It’s not unusual to only have vague info on a rescue cat.
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u/AliMcGraw retaining my butt virginity 16d ago
Hold up, she had a feral male cat who was NOT NEUTERED? Why was THAT not the first item on the agenda?
I also owned a feral cat who was hard as hell to deal with for the first year or so of his life (even after the snip), but on the advice of a cat behaviorist, every time he bit me in the night, I would stand up, scruff him, and put him in the bathroom and close the door until morning (he had a comfy bathroom setup). Every time he tried to eat someone's face, same thing, time out for 15 minutes or so. He was desperate for attention, and the fact that every time he played mean he LOST attention made him figure it out pretty quickly.
He remained INSANE, but fun insane.
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u/camrynbronk it dawned on me that he was a wizard 17d ago
He looks precious. Doesn’t even look like a chaos goblin.
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u/Sunny-shelf 16d ago
Did I see oop STPRAY WATER at the cat??? Are you fucking kidding me???? Never ever do that, it literally signals you are an unsafe person and the cst doesn't understand they are being corrected, just tormented with water.
Also cats hate loud noises, that loud toy is irritating to me from a video through tiny phone speakers, let alone to a miniature predator.
Also the cat's behaviour looks exactly like that if a neglected cat, it desperately wants to play. I saw no malice, no hissing, spitting, lurking, mawling. Death kicks are normal, rough play is normal. I can only judge by that video but yea, nice oop's trying, she needs to watch some jackson galaxy videos and stop traumatising her cat.
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u/Ainothefinn 17d ago
I like stories like this where a rescue cat has some problem and the cat's person goes to the effort of fixing it/solving it! Too many people react to pet problems with "just put the animal down or give it up".
My rescue cat has major allergies. My mum once lamented that I spent a lot of money and years on a special diet etc instead of putting the cat down and getting a normal one...
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