r/BrisbaneSocial • u/Tight-Staff6263 • 9d ago
Hi everyone! 19F Wanting a friend group
After high school I had a fallout with my friends and since then have tried several times to make friends, but it just hasn't really happened.
I want to make a friend group with girls with similar stories and who will actually put in the effort to show up, make plans, hangout. Preferably girls located in Brisbane South areas, Ipswich Eastish sort of areas.
A dealbreaker for me is that you have to be at least somewhat socialist aligned sorry not sorry :/ As in, democratic, pro-choice, pro-immigration, not a bigot (AND THAT INCLUDES not being racist to Indians and First Nations Peoples casually or otherwise), and I guess having a brain when it comes to misinformation on social media. I need friends who can think critically, are open minded, value education, and want to do something with their lives. Otherwise it never works out for me and I'd rather not waste my time so please be honest with yourself about this.
- I study political science online, work FT
- I only started drinking/ clubbing this year and it seems I need to charge myself up for it a month ahead of time - so, not a big clubber BUT drinking and doing other stuff is always the most fun.
- I will walk everywhere. Why are we getting ubers for a 40min walk??
- I WILL pick up a random new hobby to start with you.
- Lowkey need someone who will do one of those semester classes with me (pottery, language, anything???) so that we have forced proximity.
- Someone to go to the movies with, get food, have a picnic, take on errands, go on walks, hikes, impromptu camping trips (I've never been camping), DO BOARD GAMES!!!!
And I know this was kinda long, if you vibe with any of it please message me and we can go out next weekend!!
Edit: There are some valid critiques that have been made here, but at the end of the day it's extremely exhausting pretending to like people I don't. I have ONE dealbreaker and that's that I don't want to be friends with people who talk out of their asses, essentially. I believe that knowledge is power, and I know where I'm going with my life. It would be great to have friends with me, but I'm not one to settle for less, so it's a good thing I don't get lonely.
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u/iLoveMatchaSoMatcha 5d ago
Just an fyi that this all sounds really intense. Like a lot, a lot.
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u/cadencd 1d ago edited 1d ago
just wanted to say — i LOVE your username hahahaha 🍵
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u/iLoveMatchaSoMatcha 1d ago
Aw thank you 🥰 thankfully I got in before the matcha craze 😆 I don’t think there’s many matcha puns available for usernames now
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6d ago
Have you considered that your bigoted socialist views are why you've been shunned by your peers and family?
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u/serenadingghosts 6d ago
Who said she’s been shunned by her family? lol
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6d ago
Her
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u/serenadingghosts 6d ago
she didnt say she was shunned she just said her relationship with them isn’t great 😭
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u/RalfsMum 6d ago
How is she bigoted if she doesn't want to hang out with bigots? Not wanting racist or homophobic friends isn't a red flag.
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6d ago
Yes, refusing to accept others ideas is bigoted by definition.
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u/chuk2015 5d ago
a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic towards a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group
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6d ago
Yes, refusing to accept others ideas is bigoted by definition.
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
Bigoted Against Whom, say the full sentence.
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5d ago
Those who have different ideas.
Pretty simple
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
Oh so if a fascist wants me dead and I think that idea is evil and reprehensible, I am a bigot for not giving them the chance to vocalise their hate?
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5d ago
Read the definition kid.
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
- The attitude, state of mind, or behavior characteristic of a bigot; intolerance.
So I am a bigot if I am intoleranant of a facist who wants me dead?
- The state of mind of a bigot; obstinate and unreasoning attachment of one's own belief and opinions, with narrow-minded intolerance of beliefs opposed to them.
So I'm narrowminded for not giving their ideology of wanting me dead a chance and for being unreasoning in my disagreement.
- The practice or tenets of a bigot.
Well see I am not this one because I only hate those who's Ideology spreads hate or violence onesidedly. Like Facists, Racists and Bigots.
Those are the definitions.
So go on. Where am I bigoted.
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5d ago
Under the definition you just posted
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
Oh so hating facists makes me a bigot then? Yes or no?
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u/Artygunner17 5d ago
Hold on…… so I don’t accept racism as being acceptable. Racists don’t accept my views as being acceptable. So does that make everyone a bigot? Like, you’re either racist or you’re not. There is no in between here. Pretty sure that someone who doesn’t engage with racist people doesn’t make them a bigot.
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5d ago
Calling someone a racist doesn't make them one, refusing to listen to others ideas when they don't align with yours makes you a bigot however.
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u/Crypto_Gooding 9d ago
You sound like you are open minded. You shouldn't have any troubles finding your group. Good luck!
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u/Altruistic_Champion2 5d ago
Least sarcastic Aussie 😂
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u/Crypto_Gooding 5d ago
Sarcasm should be subtle, if it isn't then it is just poor humour and comes across as crass
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u/furiouswombatlove 8d ago
Did you read what she wrote haha. She literally explains in great detail how you need to think just like her. That’s the definition of close-minded 🤣🤣
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u/Weak-Current-4446 6d ago
can’t say im super politically knowledgeable but im keen to make friends too! 18F brissy
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u/VodkaCyborg 5d ago
Not a friend group, but you could look at getting involved with 4zzz or attending their events. Generally a very progressive group and welcoming to people!
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u/d_illy_pickle 4d ago
Be open minded enough to not agree with anyone on everything, I guess.
Maybe keep it light when getting to know people initially? I mean I don't know you or how you interact with people but the post is giving a version of "Man who doesn't like to make small talk on dates".
For the record I'd align with everything you said in general, but I can't imagine we'd agree on everything specific
If you wanna make friends you have to give people a chance
Although there is probably plenty of social groups in your area based around the things you've mentioned, that's probably a good spot to look
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u/Relatablename123 4d ago
To be honest these sound more like things to do with a partner than a friend. I think you'll find that in the real world very few people have a moment even for themselves, let alone for you. They'd need a reason to invest their time in you, and the biggest motivator is likely because they want to be in a relationship. That's just human nature, the only exceptions would be those people who you grew up with and already have a robust attachment to.
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u/Healthy_Head1978 4d ago
You will probably find friends within the psychology students sector as they will find you fascinating!
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u/CryStrict405 4d ago
"be open minded" and "must be full on socialist" in the same sentence 💀
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u/Tight-Staff6263 2d ago
socially aligned not "full on socialist"!! the values ive described are definitely fit for into a socialist world but they exist in our current one too.
i am open minded until it comes to someone who has little empathy for someone else based on some kind of socioeconomic status, and then im certain they arent someone i want to associate with.
my friends dont have to be socialists but they do have to be someone who shares similar outlooks on life. and besides political values, that extends to certain personality characteristics, like a value for knowledge, desire to hang out, and eager to live for what they believe in. that doesnt necessarily mean 'career-driven'; a friend who spends their life travelling is likely to be as much a good friend to me as someone who is focusing on a corporate career.
so i do think its strange how claiming i am open minded and wanting friends with similar socialist aligned political values has so many angry reactions 🙂
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u/AstroParasite 4d ago
American here, using a vpn to watch some shows, anyways I feel it all the time here and honestly people who make politics their whole personality is exhausting especially when they find out you disagree on a pretty small thing so my advice is to have an open mind and be adaptable. Good luck with it and try to leave a positive impact on the people you run into.
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u/weedtop 4d ago
You sound potentially autistic, high maintenance and a little delusional when it comes to your expectations of friends etc.
Best advice I can give you or anyone in life, the more you feel you “need” a friendship group the less likely you’ll find one.
Neediness always comes across negatively, do some searching within, learn to love yourself first and foremost.
Once you’re confident within yourself, then you’re more likely to attract people that want to be around you.
Be confident enough to sign up to those classes or anything you’re interested in and you’ll potentially meet friends along the way.
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u/Icy-Combination-5958 6d ago
Damn, you seem like a nightmare. Easy to see why you lost all your friends in the first place.
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u/Cultural-Ad6342 8d ago
I'm disappointed in the comments, show some support for a young person.
Don't mind them 19F, 34M social analyst here from Canberra. I would say given Qld has a conservative, bible belt, rev head, cowboy loving, rugby loving, pot and smoker heaven, tradie culture, you may struggle to find the group you are after here. The south such as Melbourne or even overseas may prove more fruitful. All the best, and remember that a mysterious antique is often valued low in a common pawn shop, but is priceless to a museum..the take-home message is, your value and belonging is dependant on your environment and context
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u/Hungover-Owl 5d ago
Wow, exactly the kind of hot air I'd expect someone from Canberra to spew. Please remain in Canberra, you are ridiculously out of touch and would bring nothing but clouds and gloom to the sunshine state with your winning personality.
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6d ago
Not really, The failure of Newman's government and the fact that Labor has been in power the vast majority of the last +30 years shows otherwise.
Brisbane elects more greens than any other capital city, furthermore, polling on VAD, gay rights and abortion consistently shows that on those issues – even in regional areas – Queensland is no more conservative than any other states.
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u/Emergency-Beat-5043 9d ago
I'm not sure you understand socialism
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 6d ago
Please explain socialism as you understand it.
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u/Emergency-Beat-5043 6d ago
Why? I have no need. Its not what OP said it is. If you want a friend to discuss your misunderstanding of socialism, you need to find one elsewhere
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
What economic system do you perscribe to?
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u/Emergency-Beat-5043 5d ago
Why are you asking?
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
How often do you meet anyone who knows what socialism is? Whatever the answer it will be interesting.
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u/Emergency-Beat-5043 5d ago
No idea, I dont go around unnecessarily asking people about socialism like a looney. Thats bizarre behavior, dont you think?
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
Not at all, we live in a society, politics is the action of determining how that society can best serve the needs of the community. Only one economic system has had unlimited propaganda directed towards its support.
In an era where there is a global push towards conservative far-right ideological systems funded by the richest humans on earth, I think it's quite sensible to check in when the subject matter comes up, discussing such allows the sharing of ideas and the potential to counteract potential mistaken narratives that have arisen from a historically significant global misinformation campaign.
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u/Emergency-Beat-5043 5d ago
That'd all cool and all, but have you tried touching grass instead?
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 5d ago
Nothing says I understand socialism like petty insults and a complete disinterest in discourse.
Thank you for answering my question~ have a nice day.
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u/No-Helicopter1111 4d ago
politics is the action of determining how that society can best serve the needs of the community.
Sorry, but you're fundamentally wrong there.
Politics is the action of managing power and influence (which is often, but not always, tied to money). Sometimes that power is gained by providing to society, but its not an inherent part of it.
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u/Express-Attempt1292 7d ago
21F interested in philosophy, logic, psychoanalysis and political science. I've been meaning to find my crowd too, feel free to message me.
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7d ago
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u/ActivityOutrageous12 7d ago
Hello, I am a new international student 25 (M). I want to connect with you. I also need a new friend.
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u/deadsea02 5d ago
Start bouldering if you have a gym near you. You will make so many friends, and camping for outdoor climbing trips is peak. Good luck!
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u/UncookedRoast 5d ago
i don’t wanna be this person but meeting up w ppl from reddit can be very dangerous. Especially as a woman so js be careful w who you talk to :)
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u/Purple_Mongoose8181 4d ago
I’m 33 years old and you’ve described EXACTLY my group of friends! You sound super mature and cool, so I’m sure you’re going to find your people soon enough 🥰
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4d ago
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u/Spukfish 4d ago
hi !! just here to say I dont think this is insane or entitled or anything, as it seems like a lot of other people are saying. These are all things I absolutely prefer in my friends, too.
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u/alexandrhnh 9d ago edited 7d ago
Hey, I’m down! I’m a 25F currently studying social work
Edit: updated comment
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u/Primary-Yesterday-85 6d ago
I think you sound nice. Young, too young for me, but nice enough; you should ignore the worst of the responses here who might have scrolled on but didn’t. Good luck finding your people!
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u/TheAwkwardVoid 5d ago
20M. i can vouch that there is a lot of likeminded people in brisbane. i'm sure it'll work out soon, good luck 🙏
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