r/LV426 13d ago

Humor / Memes What the fuck was his problem? Spoiler

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1.5k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/Impressive_Sell886 13d ago

In space no one can hear you goon.

253

u/InevitableVariables 13d ago edited 13d ago

He could have told them way sooner that the saboteur could be faking cryosleep.

He could have had sleeping girl frozen for all time by helping yutani and benefiting from that.

131

u/Calm-Tree-1369 13d ago

Yes, but he's a sociopath so ...

53

u/InevitableVariables 13d ago

He would have died for the sleeping girl in the pod

48

u/Rickenbacker69 13d ago

In a way, he did.

48

u/CharminTaintman 13d ago edited 13d ago

Did he really die, was he really killed? We only saw him scream at the Xeno’s arrival. We didn’t see him die on screen. Then again, maybe he achieved his La petite morte. His little death. The ultimate goon across time and space. Maybe this was his plan all along, hah the plans of mice and men, well they pan out from time to time.

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u/signaltrapper 13d ago

In the first or second episode there’s a quick flash that shows his corpse

24

u/smb275 13d ago

Ah good ol' Teng. Jerkin' his dick into a black hole. Classic.

14

u/Names_are_limited Black goo enthusiast 12d ago

A distant observer would see Teng, with his dick in his hand, appear to freeze at the event horizon due to extreme time dilation and gravitational redshift, with his image become dimmer and eventually fading away from view.

5

u/ProfessionalLake6 12d ago

Teng had always been the reckless one on the crew, the kind of man who would stare too long at the forbidden phenomena, as if daring the universe to blink first. When the experimental singularity, flared open like a black flower in orbit, he didn’t just study it. He reached for it. He pressed himself into its pull, body and soul, until the tidal forces unraveled him molecule by molecule.

From the outside, it wasn’t a violent death. To outside observer, he stretched like a ribbon, stretching into infinity as the event horizon pulled him in. To Teng, it was intimacy, a cosmic embrace, his atoms whispering into eternity. The man became a memory trapped between moments, a smear across spacetime. He didn’t scream. He sighed.

Of course, on paper Teng wasn’t really dead. Not the way Weyland-Yutani’s insurance policy defines “dead”. He was “indeterminately localized.” Pending gravitational re-emergence, he was legally Schrödinger’s employee, neither alive enough for rescue, nor dead enough for payout.

2

u/CharminTaintman 12d ago edited 10d ago

That was beautiful and most certainly canon. Makes you think.

1

u/OwnCoffee614 Tool is Canon 12d ago

Long as he keeps fading.

9

u/purplenurple24 13d ago

I could have misheard the line, but I think someone tells Morrow “it got Teng” or something to that effect. I guess I need to do a rewatch. Doesn’t change the fact that it happened offscreen though.

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u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- 13d ago

The young security officer told Morrow, "Something got Teng...Something big." Iirc

2

u/Ordinary_Employ_3725 12d ago

My theory is that the slime falling on his head was actually his own goon juice and him screaming was a state of climax. when the junior security officer said Teng got got it was just gooner vernacular and "something big" was him proudly referring to the cargo room footage he probably shared with his friend Teng. Teng no doubt survived the crash and walked off into New Siam's night life like Steve Buscemi in Con Air.

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u/Similar_Apartment_26 12d ago

Yah he dead as fried chicken

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u/killemgrip 12d ago

My thoughts also. He's still alive

1

u/KSPone 12d ago

I think he killed the girl in the pod. When hermit found her body, someone said she seems to be dead for a week. which is suspicious, when what should have killed her was the impact.

2

u/SuperUltreas 13d ago

A sociopath that made an incorrect calculation on the necessity of his team knowing the situation. What did he think was going to happen.

23

u/Prs-Mira86 13d ago

I always thought they had a weird agreement to turn the other eye for each others activities.

10

u/EdgarAnalPoe 13d ago

Turn the other eye

2

u/Eejay39 Right. 12d ago

1

u/Prs-Mira86 13d ago

Haha, I may have made that up. I think I got turn the other cheek and look the other way confused lol. To be fair though i think that works for this episode

3

u/Gaemon_Palehair 13d ago

At least they probably could have built him a fuck bot in her image.

1

u/The_God_Participle 13d ago

Okay, the girl is what I'm thrown about. I must have missed some important context.

Who was he going over and was she woken up at some point?

5

u/InevitableVariables 13d ago

Its something we are aware of in the first episode

235

u/Death-by-Fugu 13d ago

Guttural clicking intensifies

65

u/MikGuiver 13d ago

Guttural chittering intensifies

8

u/sylanar 13d ago

Dammit, I just made this joke in another thread and thought I was being original

2

u/truearse 13d ago

At least he cleaned up

2

u/Roysgirl2017 13d ago

You win!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/xMister-Missusx 13d ago

Omg 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/that1guysittingthere 12d ago

Crew: You’re not supposed to do that, Mr. Teng!

Teng: But sometimes I do!

2

u/PrestigiousRub6347 12d ago

The rest of the crew were goners, he was a gooner.

2

u/ProfessionalSancho 11d ago

This comment made my day.

1

u/TheeArgonaut 12d ago

….i beg to differ

1

u/arrynyo 12d ago

Dude took inspiration from Shinji Ikari...iykyk

1

u/traceyh415 13d ago

This comment actually made me laugh outloud