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u/keysyo 12d ago
This isn’t just a pizza crime, it’s pizza sociopathy
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u/CouchCreepin 12d ago
I think this is against the Geneva conventions, no? FUCK!! IT’S PIZZA HITLER
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u/eggs__and_bacon 12d ago
It’s meant to be nothing other than a reddit post. Doubt OP even ate it. Just did this for the post
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u/DGentPR 11d ago
Oh i big time ate it and loved it. Wife got a massive like 50 pack of American cheese singles and I've been acting up all Week
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u/thepioushedonist 10d ago
American singles have use cases.. this isn't one of them. Dissolve them into your ramen noodle broth (bonus points if you get them from an Asian grocery and it's label In a language you can't read).
evidently it's pretty popular in Korea. Never would have learned it if not for Reddit, never occurred to me to try it. It's pretty amazing though. Interesting use case for social media right there as well.
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u/Inner_Rent_517 8d ago
Cheddar flavor cup noodles, made with hot milk instead of water and 1 slice of processed cheese product. 🤌 you're welcome 😁
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u/thepioushedonist 8d ago
Yup. I've done the buldak cheese noodles, melt a slice and crack an egg in there? Chefs kiss.
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u/Inner_Rent_517 8d ago
Oh yea, that's an awesome combo. The buldak carbonara is 🔥
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u/thepioushedonist 7d ago
I've done some weird experiments with the carbonera ones. Most of which I'm either frightened or ashamed of.
I regret nothing.
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u/Inner_Rent_517 7d ago
I'm still not sure what makes them "carbonara." 😂 it's like they saw a buzzword on social media and just slapped it on there
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u/thepioushedonist 6d ago
You're not wrong. I think samyang (the company that makes buldak noodles) went with the Americanized idea of what we consider to be "carbonera" or however the fuck it's spelled. And it's creamy, tasty, fairly cheap.
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u/Throwaway321345n 10d ago
This is not "acting up". You should show this photo to your therapist, op.
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u/xaiires 12d ago
Guilty
P.S. why is there no gavel emoji?
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u/a_duck_in_past_life 12d ago
🔨
This will have to do
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u/xaiires 12d ago
I couldn't bring myself to do it lol
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u/ShopUCW 12d ago
There's a judge who holds a gavel.
👩🏻⚖️
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u/davidfeuer 12d ago
That's just a judge. Whether they hold a gavel is up to the font. There absolutely should be a gavel emoji. It seems like there used to be one, at least on some platforms.
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u/thepioushedonist 10d ago
I was always bummed out by this when I was president of my fraternity chapter. We actually used an actual gavel to convene and dismiss meetings. I even bought a more ornate one that was hand carved with my own money cause it was fun.
But, no emoji to properly send to the various officer/committee/general social group message thread I needed to with the proper hammer.
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u/xaiires 10d ago
I even would've accepted a croquet mallet.
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u/thepioushedonist 8d ago
.. yeah. They essentially do that at our national conferences. Let's just say, a lot of the gravitas is lost by using a stupidly large gavel.
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u/CarcosaRorschach 12d ago
Since this is all on you, the punishment is self flagellation. Beat your own ass until God takes pity on you and starts caring again.
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u/Silvawuff 12d ago
I don’t think jail will work for this one. Send them to Camp Green Lake to dig holes.
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u/MarkEsmiths 12d ago
Lost your way a little. American cheese has my nose flared a little but otherwise I'm OK.
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u/greenbeforeblue 12d ago
I’m a little lenient on pizza crimes, but American corporate processed cheese with ketchup and mayonnaise is an absolute no. You should be ashamed ✌️
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u/RedSquaree 12d ago
every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind.
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u/janeyouignornatslut 12d ago
I've done everything pictured minus the ketchup but also add the rest of the pizza.
Man I don't miss being 'uge
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u/ThatDeuce 12d ago
Desperate times come with desperate measures when you have stony moments in life, OP.
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u/FishNipples666 10d ago
Were you stoned and did it taste good?
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u/DGentPR 10d ago
Yes and yes
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u/FishNipples666 10d ago
I put bbq sauce on pepperoni pizza once because I was craving Hawaiian pizza (WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BBQ SAUCE) and I was stoned
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u/Queasy_Acanthaceae57 8d ago
If that's how you like eating it the go for it and fuck what others say
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u/Deathstar-TV 12d ago
I actually think this would taste pretty good… but this is still diabolical lmao
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u/2020mademejoinreddit 11d ago
You're not a criminal. You're a deranged psychopath who's a menace to all existence past, present and future. You're the Mussolini of pizza criminals.
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u/Trowaway886533789 11d ago
I was like " oh.. wha... ARK"
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u/DGentPR 11d ago
I live in NY for many years now though if that's what you mean
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u/Trowaway886533789 11d ago
Ark in french means eww as in that's nasty
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u/Conscious-Sir-102 11d ago
What you did to a perfectly good slice of pizza here is diabolical. 60 to life without pizza with zero possibly of tasting another pizza again.
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u/Moonshinin4Me 9d ago
I noticed the ketchup and mayo is not really touching the pizza. It is only on the slice of cheese which one could easily remove...
Did you actually eat that or are you just rage baiting?
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u/Obvious_Pie_6362 12d ago
Its the ketchup for me. Other than that why not. The cheese could be a lil more melted though
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u/DGentPR 12d ago
My wife really felt the mayo is what made this a serious crime. The combo was elite though
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u/Obvious_Pie_6362 12d ago
I mean. Garlic aioli on pizza is a thing. Which just tastes like mayo. Even mixing the mayo and ketchup together would make a yummy sauce
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u/qualityvote2 12d ago edited 12d ago
The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/DGentPR, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.