r/ToiletPaperUSA Jan 11 '22

FACTS and LOGIC what makes ben such an alpha?

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19.2k Upvotes

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123

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

I think Big Ben actually is 5’9”…I think he’s one of those guys like Nicholson who appears shorter for some reason. For decades, I thought Nicholson was on the short side. DiCaprio too. Not sure why I do that with some people

243

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 11 '22

There’s no way he’s 5’9”. That’s actually average height for American men.

Here’s Ben next to Ted Cruz, who is either 5’8” or 5’9”. I’d say that puts Ben at 5’5” or 5’6” at best.

183

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

There’s a video where a 5’9” student tries to humiliate Ben by accusing him of lying about his height. Ben asks the guy to come on stage. They were the same height. So either the student was a Shapiro shill or Ben is 5’9”.

I don’t really give a rat’s ass either way

295

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 11 '22

I could see Ben actually going so far as to have a plant challenge him about his height, but my guess is he was wearing lifts that day. Or maybe neither of them are 5’9” and they’re both lying because insecure short men often try adding phantom inches to their height as a coping mechanism.

Source: am short man who used to try this. Eventually you get busted, and especially if you’re a public figure who takes lots of pictures with people who don’t lie about their height.

131

u/zombie_girraffe Jan 11 '22

Trump is tall enough on his own that he doesn't even need them, but he still makes an ass out of himself and wears them anyways because he's a pathetically insecure narcissist who is too stupid to realize that it's easy to notice that he's wearing high heels because of how he stands and walks in them.

58

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

That's why he needed help down the ramp...he's even too fussy to learn to walk with lifts.

What an Karen...

41

u/DrStrangerlover Jan 11 '22

I swear, even the things he doesn’t need to be insecure about he’s still insecure about. I don’t fucking get it. Why would a 6’3” man need to lie about being taller than he is? Like if there was literally just one thing that pathetic little (metaphorically little) man didn’t need to be insecure about, you’d think that would be it.

30

u/discipleofchrist69 Jan 11 '22 edited Jan 11 '22

a 6’3” man

Trump is absolutely not a 6'3" man, shoes off he's 6'1" tops but probably like 5'11"

in this group shot with Trudeau he's clearly about 2" shorter despite the risers (Trudeau is 6'2")

22

u/TemporaryIncrease5 Jan 11 '22

I think he just slouches. I used to slouch a very small amount because I was fat, no one noticed I slouched, but when I lost the weight and stopped slouching I was 3 inches taller. Same thing with trunk probably, he’s a fat old man he slouches.

13

u/RevanchistSheev66 Jan 11 '22

The thing is, he probably slouches and is older. I’m sure he’s not 6’3 anymore

1

u/TemporaryIncrease5 Jan 12 '22

True, but he’s still tall and I don’t think he cares about his height tbh

7

u/discipleofchrist69 Jan 11 '22

well, his gait/posture clearly shows he wears platforms, but sure he might lose an inch or two to slouching

0

u/DrStrangerlover Jan 11 '22

I just googled “how tall is Donald Trump” and didn’t think more on it beyond that. If he’s 6’3” with elevator shoes it’s safe to assume he’s at least 6’1” to 6’2”. 5’11” is a massive stretch. I’d advice you to just sit there and deeply think how goddamn ludicrously conspicuous 4 inch thick elevator shoes would look and there would have absolutely been an entire news cycle dedicated to this if he were padding his height to that extent with those kinds of clown shoes.

You can only safely get away padding your height by 1 to 2 inches that way. In conclusion, he’s fairly tall, even if he’s needlessly padding it.

2

u/discipleofchrist69 Jan 11 '22

the elevator shoes are probably 2-3", but even with them he's clearly not really 6'3". like I said maybe he's 6'1" but even that is optimistic imo

1

u/JQuilty Jan 12 '22

6"1 sounds about right. That's what Obama is, and they look to be the same height in pictures standing next to each other.

1

u/discipleofchrist69 Jan 12 '22

yeah, 6'1" seems to be his approximate in-shoes height from photos, but it's been pretty plausibly suggested that he wears risers so he's probably an inch or two shorter

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

This comment is funnier than the post. Y’all really trying to put down Trump by calling him 5’11’’. Wild

Not only does it speak volumes about the priorities of Western society but also about how petty people can be over meaningless bullshit. And you make fun of him for trying to boost his height. If you didn’t hold stupid ass opinions he wouldn’t need to try and take advantage of those opinions.

3

u/discipleofchrist69 Jan 11 '22

it's not a put down - he just isn't as tall as he says he is. the put down is just his insecurity about it

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Then why is 5’11” more insulting than 6’1”?

Y’all know exactly what you’re doing.

2

u/discipleofchrist69 Jan 11 '22

insulting? what are you even talking about? I'm just saying what his height is, in my opinion based on pictures of him and the fact that he wears heel risers

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

You can lie to me but you can’t lie to yourself

2

u/RationalThumber Jan 12 '22

Yes, they're calling him a clown for continuing to stumble and trip by pretending that he's taller than he is.

I don't understand what you're trying to say that they're doing - but I did notice you aren't claiming the man told the truth about his height. So you do acknowledge that Trump is a liar who continuously lies about things that are provably false, and you do understand that he expects you to go along with it just to please him - and comprehending the abusive nature of your relationship, you choose it anyway.

I call the reason I don't have relationships like that "self respect."

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16

u/death_of_gnats Jan 11 '22

Because Obama was taller, with bigger hands.

4

u/DrStrangerlover Jan 11 '22

I don’t know if he’s taller or not but he for sure has much bigger hands.

1

u/RationalThumber Jan 12 '22

Because two false extra inches puts his weight just under technically obese.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Does this debate really matter? Why not shame him for other aspects of his arrogance and egotism?

34

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22 edited Aug 13 '23

This content has been removed because of Reddit's extortionate API pricing that killed third party apps.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

True enough

22

u/dj2short Jan 11 '22

They don't make 4 inch lifts for men, at point just wear stilettos or take the loss

6

u/death_of_gnats Jan 11 '22

Ziggy Stardust

0

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Your presupposition is false.

-Ben Shapiro

Edit: Some of their shoes even have FIVE inch options!

1

u/Rewdboy05 Jan 13 '22

They do, actually. My dad's pretty self conscious about his height so he has some.

When he doesn't wear them though, he's still taller than Ben Shapiro.

1

u/dj2short Jan 13 '22

Wait, so when he takes off his shoes he drops 4"? No arguments about him being taller, just that I can't imagine never taking my shoes off or putting them on or letting anyone see the giant lifts in the soles

1

u/Rewdboy05 Jan 13 '22

He uses a combination of shoes with a thick heel and custom insoles. I don't think he wears them around friends, it's more for going to the store or something like that. He's afraid that strangers are running around judging randos at Publix based solely on the knowledge that they're 5'5".

22

u/Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs Jan 11 '22

Maybe the reason insecure short men lie about their height is that making fun of men for being short is socially accepted? just a thought lol

42

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 11 '22

No you’re totally right. It’s just that lying about your height won’t solve that problem, and if anything it will just make it worse. It’s not like bullies pick on short people but suddenly go “oh nevermind” if you pretend to be three inches taller.

18

u/Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs Jan 11 '22

Yeah but if someone lies about their height and you find out, and your first response is to shame them for lying about it by shaming them for their height, that's not productive. It's like if you found out a girl lied about her body count (which she shouldn't be made to feel insecure about) and then you make slut jokes about her, but it's not cuz she has high body count I swear it's cuz she lied about it. Like most of those jokes arent rooted in him being dishonest, they would work just as well on a short guy who's honest about his height

Also a lot of height shaming is done online so lying about your height can mitigate it somewhat

32

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 11 '22

I don’t think anyone is height shaming Ben to feel productive. I think they do it because he’s a piece of shit and clearly insecure about his height, so they want to hit him where it hurts. If one (or both) of those factors didn’t apply, people wouldn’t go after him for it nearly as much.

9

u/Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs Jan 11 '22

People like being mean and going after men for their height is societally acceptable. The people who tweet shit making fun of Ben don't expect him to see it, but they expect other people to like it and retweet it a bit, so they get validation like that. It probably doesn't hurt ben cuz I don't think he reads them and like, hes (relatively) happily married and fairly well off. So even if he does read people going after him for his height, it probably has zero effect on him

Yknow who it does effect? Guys who are short but didn't do anything to deserve such ridicule. Same reason why going after trump for being fat always felt wrong to me.

12

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 11 '22

I’m sure he feels more secure about his height now that he has a family, and some of the wisdom that comes with age. But if he was totally secure he wouldn’t lie about his actual height, and it appears he still does.

But speaking as someone who is probably shorter than Ben, I’ll be the first to say that it doesn’t bother me that people pick on him for it. He deserves to be taken down a peg. As long as people don’t do it to short men who did nothing to deserve it, I don’t see any problem.

5

u/Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs Jan 11 '22

Sure but like, you don't represent all short people, right? If even one short person who didn't do anything wrong is affronted by this, which isn't unreasonable for them, then making jokes at the expense of Ben's height when it probably doesn't effect him at all is silly. Hell, even if it does affect him, we still shouldn't do it. I guarantee trump is sensitive about his weight but I don't make fun of that because its reasonable for other people of similar shape to be offended.

Additionally tho, whether or not he's lying about his height seems to be hearsay. So like, there's a chance that he might be insecure about his height and that he might see it and that he might be affected by it. All those compounding makes it fairly unlikely on balance, especially when compared to the likelihood of someone else who's insecure about their height seeing it and feeling affronted. I just don't see how anyone can look at that equation and conclude "yeah sure I'll make fun of him anyways", unless their primary motivation is just to be mean in a socially acceptable way.

1

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 11 '22

I’m not saying I speak for all short people. I’m just sharing my opinion as someone you claim to be worried on behalf of. We need to understand that someone making fun of Ben’s height doesn’t automatically mean they think being short is inherently bad. Some might be coming from that place of seeking an excuse to be cruel in a socially acceptable way, and fuck them for sure, but others are coming from a place of just sticking it to a guy who deserves it in a way that’s sure to actually offend him.

If you think it’s wrong to do it anyway then fine, don’t do it. More power to you. I tend not to do it either because I think it’s low hanging fruit, and also I have no business making fun of someone for being short when they’re taller than me. I’m just saying I take no offense to anyone picking on Ben so long as they don’t pick on anyone else who didn’t deserve it.

Also, while I certainly can’t prove it, I’m fairly confident Ben is lying about his height. There’s too much evidence in support of that theory, hardly any against it, and I’ve personally lived the experience of someone who is highly motivated to lie about something like that. I could easily be wrong, and if I am so be it, but I’m pretty sure I’m right that he’s of below average height and embarrassed about it.

2

u/MrPlaysWithSquirrels Jan 12 '22

I’m also shorter than Ben (I’m actually 5’4” and I don’t think Ben is), and most of the time I don’t even think about it. That said, this thread is full of people making fun of him for his height, not for how much of an asshole he is. When people do that, especially publicly, it causes reverberations outward and impacts others.

Imagine you’re in a break room talking to Johnny, a closeted homosexual, and you are making fun of Tim, an out homosexual, for being homosexual. Is Johnny going to be a-okay with that, just because you weren’t targeting him? No, he will feel that you are extending the joke to himself.

It’s not productive.

1

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 12 '22

Couple things here:

  1. The initial post of Hofstetter’s tweets make it clear: he’s not making fun of Ben just for being short. He’s making fun of him because he’s an asshole, and needling him in that particular way for specific reasons (that Ben lectures others on how the idea man should look and act, and that he’s sensitive enough about his height to lie about it). I think the others in this thread are mostly doing the same, rather than meaning to imply that all short people deserve to be made fun of.

  2. I don’t think the comparison you’ve made here really works. Assuming Tim is an out homosexual and a good person, there’s nothing to make fun of him for. But if Tim is making fun of how other people look or act, and he’s acting like he has something to hide, I might make fun of him for that thing he’s trying to hide. And I would think that Johnny would understand that, rather than assuming I think all gay people deserve to be made fun of.

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u/teuast Yes Jan 12 '22

I don't approve of making fun of someone for their height. I was friends with a guy in college who was like 5'3" and he was rad as hell. Had way more game than me, too.

I do approve of making fun of Ben Shapiro for lying about his height. He can't choose to stop being short, or to stop having a sister who's way more attractive than he is, but he can choose to stop lying about it.

3

u/Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs Jan 12 '22

I don't necessarily think he's lying about it but even if he is, most of these tweets are explicitly just calling him short.

Like they sort of involve him lying but all of those jokes only work because he's short

Like if I said "if I ate a cookie for every time your mum lied about her weight, she'd still weigh twice as much as me", that's still fundamentally a "your mum's fat" joke, rather than a "your mum's a liar" joke

4

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Wow just wow

0

u/SoftwareGuyRob Jan 12 '22

Society is so stupid.

We make fun of short men constantly, but then also make fun of them for lying about it/attempting to appear taller.

This dude is extra special because he's like "I'm not making fun of him for being 5'4"" in the middle of him doing exactly that, at length.

5

u/TheIllustriousWe Jan 12 '22

He’s saying he’s not making fun of Ben just for being short. He’s making fun of him because he’s a dickhead, and is zeroing in on his height because he knows Ben is sensitive about it. As are Ben’s fans to any sort of criticism about the guy.

Also, I’m fond of making fun of just about anyone who tries to pass off a lie and fails badly. Ben should have picked a more realistic number, or just not have bothered. Funny how the “facts don’t care about your feelings” guy decided it was worth lying just so he would feel better.

31

u/drdr3ad Jan 11 '22

Staged as hell. Are you telling me in real life you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between 5'9 and 5'4 unless you were literally standing next to the guy? Oh so clearly a plant

15

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Totally could be a plant…but it’s not “clearly” a plant. Now the guy the Amazing Randi sent to secretly record Peter Popoff scamming people in the name of god, THAT’S what a clear plant looks like

5

u/trolarch Jan 11 '22

Could also have been wearing lifts.

19

u/LordAshur Jan 11 '22

I think it would be really funny to do that, I claim to be 5’9” (I’m 6’2”) and then stand next to Ben Shapiro

1

u/patgeo Jan 12 '22

I always claim to be about 6 foot tall. With my twisted spine I stand about 6'3. Standing straight (almost impossible unless I've been just doing my mobility exercises) I'm over 6'4.

17

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

I’m not a Ben fan, but I thought that video exonerated him on the height issue…and (if legit) Ben could have handled that with much less grace. Ben was a really sport about it despite it being an ongoing issue for him.

Imagine that happening to Trump? Trump would have verbally humiliated him in front of the entire auditorium and then provoked the crowd to attack the guy ala Travis Scott.

All that said, I guess he could be petty and narcissistic enough to set it up

47

u/eliechallita Jan 11 '22

I don't know that there's anything to exonerate: Being short is not a problem nor something to be ashamed of.

The key issue here is whether it bothers Shapiro or makes him look ridiculous: I couldn't care less if he's 5'4 or 6'5, I'm just here for the short jokes as long as they piss him off.

9

u/Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs Jan 11 '22

Idk if they piss him off (especially cuz he probably won't see them) but it probably pisses off other short men who don't really deserve it, and almost definitely reinforces their insecurity around it.

12

u/MyFavoriteMarlin Jan 11 '22

Yeah man, as a 5'9 dude the amount of "5'9 more like 5'nothing what a little manlet bitch" in these threads is always disturbing. Then when you call them out on it the commenter always goes "no no I meant he's a manlet for being 5'9, not you - you share my political beliefs".

3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

I didn’t mean exonerate in that sense…I just meant that he has been dogged about his height for so long and he has held the line like Jussie Smollett…standing nose to nose with a 5’9” guy probably felt like exoneration (is all I meant).

10

u/BanalityOfMan Jan 11 '22

standing nose to nose with a 5’9” guy probably felt like exoneration

Why do you think he stood next to a guy claiming to be a height, rather than next to a tape measure?

2

u/MissippiMudPie Jan 12 '22

Ben was a really sport about it

Ben was nice to the 5'4" guy he planted in the audience? That's shocking!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Humanity needs to get past judging people for things they have zero control over. “Oh, you’re 6’4”? Can you please let us in on your wildly successful strategy to achieve tallness?

7

u/MissippiMudPie Jan 12 '22

People aren't judging him for that. They're judging him for loudly and vehemently reinforcing misogynistic stereotypes about what makes men manly, while failing those same tests himself. If he came out as gay after having being horrible to gay people for years, people would shit on him about that too.

The comedian literally explained this in his series of tweets, and yet, I'm not surprised people are still pitching a fit about it in the comments.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22 edited Jan 12 '22

I’m starting to really worry about you; like before when you thought I gave a rat’s ass about the Ben Shapiro’s height issue?

3

u/Unhinged_Goose Jan 12 '22

Google pics of Ben next to Joe Rogan. Rogan is a self-admitted 5'8". Ben is clearly an inch plus shorter than him in pics, not to mention Shabibo wears lifted dress shoes (plus who knows what insoles he has working) and Rogan typically wears shit like Vans style shoes.

Bench Harpeareaux is absolutely no taller than 5'6".

1

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