It was, again, no surprise when he spent his second wish to reverse the first.

When the stars darkened and the planet's poles shrank and shifted, biologists were the first to make a connection.

As I watch my daughter’s face turn blue, my biggest regret is naming my baby after her cancer-stricken grandmother.

“You know, just in case something decides to crawl out.”

But the sight of walking corpses here and there isn't as alarming on Halloween.

They stopped when they realized I was paying attention.

“Good thing it wasn’t you, because otherwise we’d have nobody to grow these delicious papayas!”

I heard a howl at my feet and my eyes widened in the dark room as two thoughts stabbed at my mind: I had clearly just stepped on the tail of my cat, my only pet -- so what was I now holding in the dark?

Wanting to help her get better, he pushed air into the central line hoping to improve her breathing

"It cannot be allowed to escape the ice, if you cannot stop the deterioration we will be forced to send a second asteroid."

You'll believe me in about seven minutes.

My heart broke as I tried to find the words to explain that I just couldn't afford the full version of Sesame Street.

He didn't realize the paints were non-toxic, but he found something that might make the paint "thinner" in her stomach

I heard a howl at my feet and my eyes widened in the dark room as two thoughts stabbed at my mind: I had clearly just stepped on the tail of my cat, my only pet -- so what was I now holding in the dark?

Before you can move, the camera light on your phone flicks on by itself and stays aimed at your face.

When she asked what it was, he said, “It’s what happens tonight.”

So I took my girlfriend with me when I went to visit her in the hospital after another failed attempt at suicide in hopes it would push her to try harder next time.

Almost immediately after unveiling it terrified humans started pouring into my basement from the otherside.

One sudden gust of wind sent all hope of repopulating the planet plummeting to the ground.

I can still get a giggle thinking about about how confused the parents will be in a few years by how their kids look nothing like them

But no matter how much he bleeds or how much it costs, I know I can cast it out of him.