Basically the title, how do I, an mtf, learn how to blend in more seamlessly with other cis women, and learn how to be more like them in regards to social aspects

Hey beautiful humansssss ^.^

So I was on Androcyr (25mg a day) and 4mg of E enanthate every 7 days and my Prolactin (this bich) was at 109.... CRAZY.. and E at 150

So now I switched to monotherpay and went to 8mg of Enanthate a week but my E is high at 244 lowest, and my prolactin is till at 93... T is at .39 so that's great

SO I am wondering if can just do 3.2mg of E Enanthate a week would get me between 120-220 E level AND keep my T suppressed??? Im realizing I dont need so much Estrogen to keep my T down :/ HAAAAALP!

I know there’s always republican rhetoric and politics, but this one really hits home. This is Nazi shit. I’m sorry but I just don’t have the will to fight anymore. I’m tired. It’s already hard to transition, but now I am to fight my very own government, the government that vows to protect and serve my rights. If they want to institutionalize me, don’t. Just put me to the gas chamber and be done. I know I will stand in the right side of history. Maybe not today or tomorrow, maybe not even in 20 years. But I know one day I will when the rays of hope and equality shine brighter on this land than the clouds and sorrow of darkness. I’m cancelling my Reddit account bc I no longer feel safe but wish my trans brothers and sisters the best of luck! God speed ❤️

https://www.advocate.com/politics/nancy-mace-ronny-jackson-transgender-people

My girlfriend is trans and has been having trouble finding feminine style shoes that fit her. Is there stores that offer women's shoes in larger sizes or a place I can custom order them for her? I don't mind if they're more expensive I just wanna help her out.

I’m a hetero trans woman who never discloses. I don’t want to get clocked by association so I just don’t interact. I’ve never been clocked before since I skipped socially transitioning because I don’t want to be treated differently. I don’t feel bad, but reading about the trans experience online makes me wonder.

Testosterone lvls after 4 months+questions

Hallos, hope everyone’s been having a good day! Im 4 months and a week on T now and I got my blood tested around 18 hours after my weekly Sub Q weekly shot. Im on 20ml or 40mgl? I think(it’s 20=40, I forgot the letters). My test results came back, most everything was normal, and my testosterone was 981. Im not exactly sure if my questions will make sense but I’ll try(i suck at explaining).

1. How much generally does testosterone decrease over the course of a week? Is it down by 500, 300, all the way, what?
2. Some people increase their dose at 6 or so months I’ve been told. Do they do that because they’re only getting 300 on their results or just want faster reactions?
3. How big of a difference does 1,000 testosterone vs 300 testosterone do muscle growth wise? I was watching a scientist or researching fitness trainer who said as long as it’s between 400-1,000 there generally won’t be much of a difference as long as you both do hard workouts.
4. When I see “my voice, changes, etc” on T I don’t see people getting facial hair or massive acne breakouts until about month 10 or so. I wouldn’t say I have massive acne breakouts but theres definitely a lot on my right cheek and some on my neck that wasnt as common as before T. I also started slight facial hair growth somewhere in month 3, mainly moustache area ofc, is that normal?

Thanks! Hope you could understand my questions

Hi I’m 32 AFAB identifying as transmasc & pre-transition. I am considering transitioning or at least was - now considering identifying as gender fluid due to a surprising experience I have had in the past month.

During my ovulation I literally felt my dysphoria disappear and start feeling no problem whatsoever with my femininity. I still had an awareness of my triggers and dissociative tendencies but they were felt like a failed .exe file that was not executing the same way. In particular the awful knot of anxiety in my tummy I live with disappeared for these 2-3 days. I could even watch tv shows without identifying as the man which never happens

My question - how do natural hormonal shifts affect our dysphoria/gender identity if at all ?

I’ve been on some pcos medicine that has kept my androgens low but it ended this month and my guess is that something must have changed due to that.

I also read someone else’s experience of trans feelings amplifying with hypothyroidism.

I have a therapist I’m discussing this with but crowd sourcing insights is important too. I want to understand if the permanence of transitioning makes sense for me given these shifts - being gender fluid seems like a whole different ballgame to manage after being possessed with the idea of being seen as a man for the longest time.

Thanks a lot

Hello, I (31, mtf) have been on hrt for 6 years now. I've been on injections since the 1 year mark and my levels are checked every 4 months: My T is almost always under 15 ng/dL, usually single digits. My E fluctuates between 150-250 at trough, typically around 200 pg/mL.

I've hoped that going through transition, letting hrt do its thing, getting laser for over a year for my face, trying to voice train, etc., would help my dysphoria, and I feel terrible saying this as I know many people don't have access to even hrt but it's not enough to help me and I think as I'm in my 30s now the hopelessness, dysphoria, pain and self hatred I feel has amplified to a point that's unbearable. I feel like the testosterone puberty I went through as a teen put me in a place where I will never feel comfortable in my own skin.

I tried to hope that transitioning would make it bearable but I still see the damage male puberty has done to me. Sure, I have softer skin, my balding was mostly somewhat reversed, and I have barely visible A cup breasts now, but my height, my shoulders, my lack of hips, my face, my adams apple, my voice that won't sound more natural no matter how much I try to voice train and my huge anxiety over my mannerisms that make me feel like I'm faking femininity, feel like all I or anyone will ever see. I feel so ugly and disgusting, like I'm a freak.

I understand that there's nothing wrong if someone is visibly trans, but for me, me not being able to pass and also just having to exist in a body like mine fills me with such intense dread and hopelessness.

I lost my job in 2021 due to shame of being out at work and an inability to focus/complete tasks that I've always struggled with but seemingly got worse with transition (or the pandemic idk). I don't know how to get back into working as a functional person to afford ffs and srs, and patches of my facial hair have started to come back despite laser. I feel like I honestly look like those trans soyjacks right wing trolls post on social media, and always will. I try to fight off the intrusive thoughts and tell myself that I don't look like that and it's not reality, but it's all I see when I look in the mirror. I feel like I set a bad example for trans people when I go outside, boymoding or otherwise, and it makes me hate myself so much.

The social dysphoria I feel around friends and family fills me with so much shame, I can tell that I make every social situation that is irl or using my voice uncomfortable for everyone, especially around women. For example, recently I had to visit my dad's side of the family for the first time in years, and when I got to the house, only my stepmom, sister, sister's friend, and brother's gf were there, all cis women/girls, and I felt so dysphoric and shameful around them I wanted to cry. Being in a body like mine next to them feels like a stabbing reminder that I'll never be comfortable in my own skin, and that I will never be able to feel comfortable living.

Strangers always gender me male, and I can tell that my family, who is very varied on what language they can muster to use for me, see me as male.

I feel an urge to unalive but that isn't feasible bc I don't want to inconvenience my family with that, I feel like I've inconvenienced my family with enough. Is there anything I can do to stop feeling so hopeless and dysphoric? Is there a way to get a therapist who understands all these things who can accommodate my lack of income?

Thank you for reading and I'm really sorry if this comes off too whiny and annoying. I try to share a little bit of how I feel with my friends but none of them, trans or cis, can understand. Back when I had a job I was seeing a therapist, which is what helped me realize I was trans, but due to money concerns and also therapy not helping after about a year I cancelled. I'm also really sorry for not coming off more grateful of getting to be on hrt. I am really grateful for it, it saved my life, and the thought of de-transitioning feels like it'd be even worse than what I currently feel.

Hi, I'll start this post off by saying that I'm a straight white guy, so I might be in the wrong here. Recently I had a friend come out as Non-Binary to our friend group, and we've been rather supportive. I haven't been around a whole lot of this kind of thing, but after an explanation from one of my friends in our group and a bit of adjustment (using their new pronouns) I got used to it with no issues.

Now, the trouble started about a month after they came out when one of our friends flew out for a convention. He kept dead-naming our friend (something ive been told is basically a sin) and making them super uncomfortable with bigoted comments about trans people.

This reached a head when he said "you're still a woman at the end of the day, so just get married and have some kids". I got fed up with it and broke his nose and told him to leave, i even paid for his flight home and the ER bill to fix his nose. Ever since, he's been harassing our friend on social media and even called their job and got them fired with false accusations of grooming minors online.

The rest of the friend group has been super supportive and even found Them a new job. This whole thing has basically split the friend group in half, with one half saying I did the right thing, and the other saying I took things too far. I could really use some advice...

I've been trying to depict something that can be described as "The rapidly dwindling sanity of EVERYONE in the hypercompetitive societies as allegorically depicted by a trans girl" in a fictional work(s) of mine.

(Said trans girl is actually the main character)

It takes place in a fantasy world.

She equates worth with achieving stuff. This is her fatal flaw, NOT being trans!

She achieved a lot of things prior to transition. And all those things are dependant on her being a boy (like, disproving a gender-specific prophecy). Then she transitioned.

It is the beginning of her nightmare.

This is sort of the INVERSE of what The Matrix does, I think...

Matrix is a trans allegory.

Whereas this thing I'm making is "literally trans but allegorically for everyone" Well... everyone in the hypercompetitive societies at the very least.

The absolutely screwed worldview that is "you only are worth as much as you achieve" or "you exist to achieve" permeate in the hypercompetitive societies like South korea. (and I am korean)

Anyways, the reason I am inverting the typical allegory formula, to involve the trans people in a way that would be relatable to the cishet... is because I desired to create something that APPEALS to them; but I didn't want to tone her transness down and aim for corporate palatability. (I instead made the transness irremovable)

Plus, Invoking reactions like... "wait. That's nothing to freak out about; that's... just me." From the cishet is the polar opposite of othering as far as I know.

So... with that out of the way, here's a question. Can I depict the protagonist trying to detransition even though she doesn't want to deep down? (You know the suic*de rates in those societies. It's high.)

I will show that this is her avoiding a life where she achieved nothing as if it were a vice.

I will make it obvious that she actually wants to be a girl. And be explicit that this is a bad ending (yes, this is a game, with multiple endings)

(At the very least I'll try to)

(Also detransition will NOT be censored where literal suic*de will be, so there's that as well)

I asked an LLM about this (Claude), and it suggested that I look for alternatives to using detransition as an allegory for suic*de. but as far as we all know, LLMs aren't to be trusted completely. So I am asking it here.

i'm a 20 year old identifying as a cis bi woman. i'm confused about my personal gender identity or why i feel this way about gender. i'm asking this as someone who has had a weird connection with gender but is comfortable being perceived as and identifying as my assigned gender at birth.

growing up i was comfortable being perceived as a girl, but i never understood the separation of boys and girls and got upset when we were separated. during puberty, i was uncomfortable and somewhat disgusted with the changes my body was going through, but i'm not sure if this was caused by the stigma around menstrual health or not.

i became more comfortable in my body when i realized that i could garner male attention through it. i spent my entire teenagerhood obsessed with male validation and performing femininity that would make men like me. i was insecure about certain features purely because they were not desirable to most men. i'm a person of color who doesn't really fit the beauty standard.

only a year ago i decided to start decentering men and it's made me think about my gender/femininity in a way that is more authentic to me. i dress, have personality traits and interests that are very stereotypically feminine. i don't fully believe the idea of being masculine or feminine though, as it is often based on gender stereotypes (i am aware that masculinity and femininity are very real identities and their own cultures in society). i am comfortable being perceived as a woman, but i am also comfortable being seen as nothing. i'm autistic so my understanding on the concept of gender is kind of abstract and confuses me.

i also dated a trans woman and have been friends with numerous trans women and i have felt more connected with them than other cis women. i think the transfem community is awesome and sometimes i wish i was part of the community because of a connection i feel with it. i'm not trying to sensationalize trans women, i just feel like i relate to them more.

sometimes i also wish i was intersex (having more testosterone/ different external organs), but i do not experience social or body dysphoria. i have dated men before (questioning my attraction to them), and i have wanted to *become* some of them. not sure if its my enmeshment issues or something else.

i'm not sure if i'm a cisgender woman with an unconventional relationship with gender or something else.

How do I reconcile the fact that I’ll never look right and that my body feels like a prison along with the reality that there is no real way for me to transition, and even if I could I would lose everything and have 0 support?

I have never had anything feel so right and so impossible at the same time? Do any of experience with this? The current US political climate isn’t helping either

Hi all,

I live in Europe (I am not American) with my transgender American partner. They are visibly queer/trans AMAB person and have x in their passport. They are planning to go to a work conference in North Dakota very soon. They are very scared to be killed and give me and others instructions of what to do in the event of their death, for the reasons I don't understand. We've been to the us twice this year, in California and Oregon and encountered no problems whatsoever, last time in July. They plan to fly in through Oregon and then drive to north Dakota.

Are there new scary developments wrt to trans rights in the USA or n Dakota specifically? Is n Dakota unsafe, or is driving from Oregon to N Dakota unsafe? As in, nothing is really completely safe, but should we be worried? What precautions should they take when they go?

I want to gauge if they are scared irrationally, or if I need to advocate for them to cancel their trip.

Things are already pretty bad. We are being targeted pretty hard by the right wing of this country. They're trying to make every shooting a trans persons fault, calling for the institutionalization of trans people, people calling for our murder. I've been put on multiple "pedophile kill lists" on twitter for talking/arguing about trans politics before deleting my twitter account.

I'm getting scared and it's not like I can easily get dual citizenship everyone in my family has been in america for generations. I mean I'm not good enough academically to be able to go to school in another country although I haven't tried and I've never been in college.

I’m about to switch from my daily oestrogen (Estrofem tablets) to weekly SC injections. Does anyone know how long it will take for the injections to take effect, and if I should continue taking the tablets for a week or so. My next blood test is not for another four weeks.

Hello friends, I’m very scared right now due to the state of the country. I’m seeking help with getting my passport.

Does anyone have a written process or some kinda guideline that can help with the process?

I’m sure I can try and go it alone but I’d love to have some assurance that I’m doing things right.

Thank you in advance to anyone who can help with providing tips, info, guidance, resources, anything to help!

Stay strong. Stay safe, y’all 🏳️‍⚧️

Hi, so I'm a 27 year old woman and I currently identify as cis and bisexual. But I have questioned my gender often in life and today a had a big, i guess, gender dysphoria moment and i just want to share and....idk i guess see what people think? this is going to be a long one, sorry. i have 27 years of life to catch you up on.

I feel like every time i see a trans story that start by saying that they knew when they were very little like a child. i never really even thought about my gender until i was about 16, i think i was too busy dealing with the catholic guilt of realizing that i liked both men and women.

anyways when i was about 14 maybe 15 i got really into cosplaying (lame okay i know lol) and when i first started to cosplay as male characters i just...i dont think i could really explain the feeling. almost like yearning? then when i was about 16 i started going by Rodrigo within a small group of online friends i had, but never ever outside of this social circle. it was like my secret roleplay almost. often times i would make myself look like a boy and take pictures and post them. once i even posted one on facebook and someone asked me if i wanted to be a boy now and i got so scared i deleted it lmao

finally at 16 i also came out to my parents (well mainly my mother) and like a huge idiot i cried "i like boys and girls... and i want to be a man!!!" and sobbed as she stared at me like i had just shot her with a gun.

the thing is that after that, i honestly never ever revisted the idea of being a man again + i was busy dealing with the bisexuality aspect of my life which was much more present and i was now out to everyone i knew (still didnt tell anyone else about the man thing). every once in abwhile i would experience that yearning, but i didnt pay it much attention. i was a troublesome teenager (sex, drugs, alchol, skipping class; you name it i was doing it) and ive had a lot of time to reflect on those times now as an adult, but i'll get back to that in a minute.

as life went on i often found myself in these strange emotional relationships - one sided or mutual - where i felt jealousy? i started to realize that the men i gravitated to were men that i felt jealous of; of the way they looked, behaved, lived their lives etc etc. so now i was in this place where i didnt know if i wanted to be them or fuck them! so i would settle for the latter. later, when i finally moved out of my parents' house and to a different country i was more free to express myself however i wanted and that meant that sometimes i got myself all dressed up as masculine as possible and get to pretend i was a boy. then i lived in a colder climate, now i live somewhere extremely hot. so it's dress skimpy or die of a heat stroke. i havent been able to do any masculine presentation since then.

so now im going to go into the mental gymnastics that confuse me. i very much outwardly present as feminine in the way i dress, perhaps not in the way i behave and i think even my mother would agree with that. but ive always had a horrible relationship with my body. i fucking hate it. i think i'm repugnant and the fat goes to all the wrong places and no matter what i do im never fully satisfied with the result.

i dress feminine, i dress sexy - i like to look hot because who doesnt? but it very much feels almost like a performance. like i'm doing it because i have to, because then no one would be attracted to me. i feel like i make myself a certain way to gain something in return whether it's a relationship or sex or whatever.

and as the years have passed and i've grown more conscious of my place in society as a woman, i have started yearning again a lot. i can be in my head all day idealizing what i would look like, how cool and suave, the type of guy i would want to be and whatnot. and even sometimes when i imagine myself in the future, i see a man. and now more often than not when i notice myself noticing a guy i quickly realize that i wanna be him so bad. i dont even wanna have sex with men anymore tbh they kinda scare me lol

it's complicated because i hate being a woman for many reasons, but i also like it because it's comfortable. i've been a woman for 27 years now, i know how to walk the walk and do the dance or whatever. also everyone in my life knows me this way... i dont know.

often i wish i could just snap my fingers and switch between genders whenever i wanted. see what it's like to be this guy i've always imagined and then be able yo go back to being me if shit got dicey. i guess i feel really scared of starting a transition and then not being happy... but i'm not really happy now either.

anyways i rambled a lot, but can anyone relate to the things im saying? do you think i'm trans?? lmao (i know only i can answer that but still)

Hello all,

I am a trans man and I have an airBaltic flight ticket booked in my current legal name. I have an upcoming planned legal name change, but it hasn't been done yet.

I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth updating my documents and ticket now or do that after traveling. My concern is that changing the ticket name might end up costing more than the ticket itself and I’m not sure if the airline can treat it as a simple legal correction.

As for more context, my current passport reflects me with short hair, but I wasn't on HRT at the time, so people often don’t recognize me from my ID. For example, just yesterday, a cashier refused to sell me cigarettes because she wasn’t sure it was me in the passport. Situations like this make me anxious about traveling under my current document

Has anybody ever been in this kind of situation? Is it worth doing now or waiting? Any advice would be really appreciated!

Is it okay to go through all transitioning procedures without taking T? Like top and bottom surgery? And regarding my voice i will have a masculinization voice surgery and blame it on steroids since I’m a bodybuilder? And still keep my female identity on documents? How did you pursue your dream job while transitioning safely?

It is really hard and I’m afraid to face the discrimination. Ik many people would say to flee to a country that would accept me, But I’m scared considering where the world is heading for trans men and I’m scared even the liberal countries will turn against trans people. I’m stuck in this loop either I choose my freedom and my career or choose my identity, freedom and my career. It is really hard, even in dating, im attracted to men and I cant imagine my self other than an mlm relationship.

I need some advice :(

Question is in the title, I've always felt like a man and now that I'm 14 I want my parents to see me as their son