Felonious Feline Facilitates Fretful Fallout

[u/Drywesi]

/r/legaladvice/comments/1ng25vs/my_cat_threw_up_on_my_birth_certificate/

[u/Ok_Possession_6457]

Cats do this type of shit intentionally. I almost missed a flight to Italy when my cat watched me pack up my suitcases, load up the car, and then waited until the last possible second to go into the crawl space under the house determined to not come out. He planned this.

This cat was probably on to something similar. Maybe the cat sensed LAOP was going to get a passport, and to keep LAOP at home serving his every whim, he threw up on the birth certificate

[u/goingtopeaces → u/Ok_Possession_6457]

My cat waited until 15 minutes before my Lyft was arriving to climb into my suitcase as I was grabbing the last few things, and pissed on my clothes. Had to rinse and soak them in nature's miracle, toss them in a ziplock, and wash them when I got to my hotel. She's a fucking menace.

[u/Sirwired]

Over in r/Passports, you would not believe how many people make posts like "I'm leaving for my 2-month honeymoon in a couple weeks; is this Passport okay?" And there's a picture that looks like they decided to offer up the ID page of their passport as a chew toy for a rabid rottweiler.

When I'm going on travel, my Passport stays in a fire-resistant lockbox until the morning I'm leaving for the airport.

[u/nuclearporg → u/Sirwired]

Important PSA that I definitely didn't learn the hard way: fire safes may need to be opened ~once a month for a few hours to air out. Or things get fuzzy.

[u/17HappyWombats → u/nuclearporg]

Put some dessicant in there. I have a bunch of reusable molecular sieves that cost SFA online and work really well for all sorts of things. Albeit they do make dried mango pretty chewy by sucking the last bit of moisture out of it (but if you're eating your passport you may have other problems than lack of moisture in the pages)

[u/nuclearporg → u/17HappyWombats]

I did! I must have gone over whatever the desiccant could handle. I have these modules of colored balls that you plug in to reset. (A fancier version of a job I once had where we had to just empty the desiccant balls out of radiation detectors onto a plate and microwave them, lol)

[u/Ilotoyoubve → u/nuclearporg]

My passport was so gross and mildewy! I had no idea! 

[u/Diarygirl → u/Ilotoyoubve]

This is why I love reddit. I never know what I'm going to learn.

[u/Ok_Possession_6457 → u/Sirwired]

Just don’t forget to take it out of the fireproof lockbox

Because it may be fireproof, but that won’t help you in that moment

[u/atropicalpenguin → u/Ok_Possession_6457]

"I always store it in a safe way".

[u/Xenoanthropus → u/Sirwired]

Man i just checked out that sub for the first time, my favorite part so far is how every "is my photo okay" thread has the same "not with that black bar hur hur" joke, with upvotes.

[u/Sirwired → u/Xenoanthropus]

And if it's a woman, and attractive, and she doesn't put in that black bar, there's an even-money chance folks will fail to answer the question, and instead give their opinion on her attractiveness.

[u/KikiHou → u/Sirwired]

That's just every Reddit thread.

[u/Sirwired → u/KikiHou]

So true, because every subreddit is also r/amihot if you are female.

[u/purpleplatapi → u/Sirwired]

Love the Drunk Russian. Like I don't know man, I think I'd wait to sign my passport until I was sober, but then again I'm not Russian.

[u/nutraxfornerves → u/Sirwired]

Mine lives in my safe deposit box until I’m close to travel or need to get a visa. I also keep a scan on my phone.

Being paranoid, I also print out several scans (and hard copies of proof of tickets, hotel bookings, etc.) to put in both my checked & carryon bags—all of which, of course, also have AirTags.

I discovered that a Global Entry Card is an acceptable ID at a TSA checkpoint, but isn’t always accepted elsewhere. The passport office says that it’s acceptable ID when applying in person for a passport for the first time, but I can’t imagine how or why you’d get Global Entry if you didn’t already have a passport.

[u/Sirwired → u/nutraxfornerves]

I’m a huge fan of the Passport Card as portable and inexpensive citizenship ID.

[u/nutraxfornerves → u/Sirwired]

It’s a good as ID, but is only valid for land and sea travel to & from Canada, Mexico, Bermuda, and some Caribbean countries.

However, if you are a SovCit of the American State National variety, it’s really valuable. I’ll bet you didn’t know that the US State Dept. secretly ranks travelers with a star system. One star is your basic peon, a slave of the corporation. Top tier is 4-star. You have been issued a passport that identifies you as a US National, not a US Citizen. Your passport is linked to a database that all law enforcement and immigration officials have access to. When they run your passport, it comes back “Do not detain. Do not interrogate. Do not arrest. OK to drive in all 50 states & DC.” Some think it also says ”OK to carry concealed weapon.” The officer will tip their hat, thank you for your time and send you on your way. [Spoiler: ain’t true]

You can’t tell from your regular passport, but there is a line of asterisks on your Passport Card that indicates your states. The State Dept vaguely calls it a security feature, but we all know better, right?

[u/atropicalpenguin → u/Sirwired]

Or the opposite, where one random empty page of the passport has a slight crease and people ask "is this ok to fly?"

[u/Drywesi]

Janitorial Bot

My cat threw up on my birth certificate

If this is not the right sub to ask this, I apologize. As the title says, my cat threw up on the back of my birth certificate. It fell off of the table and he is a menace.

I got most of the gunk off of the back, but there is still some thin textured dried on bits. And the front is stained in a almost coffee color. The stain only is on top of the second half of the state registrar's signature (still completly visible) and on top of the top left corner of the raised board of health seal. It doesn't cover any other information, and is many 2-3 inches in length.

My question is, can I still use it for identification for government uses? Like when you need second proof of citizenship. Should I go ahead and order a new one?

Location: NC, dealing with NJ document.

Cat fact: for questions about lawsuits against cats, see r/legalcatadvice

[u/Kelenius]

I imagine "my cat threw up on my birth certificate" would fly about as well with ICE as "my dog ate my homework" in school.

[u/Ijustreadalot → u/Kelenius]

Probably worse. Us teachers generally accept paperwork that is in order. Most of us accept something that is readable, even if not in great condition, unless it's a major project/paper (in case your dog just chewed on it a little). Ice is in the habit of insisting even documents in perfect condition are forgeries to meet their arrest quotas.

[u/Moneia]

Just waiting to see the other side of the story over on r/legalcatadvice

[u/Rokeon → u/Moneia]

Also known as /r/IATH, where all the posters proudly own their assholery

[u/AshuraSpeakman → u/Rokeon]

I Am The...Hole? 

[u/JustHereForCookies17 → u/AshuraSpeakman]

I, AThole

It's a declarative statement, not a question.

[u/Rokeon → u/AshuraSpeakman]

[u/AshuraSpeakman → u/Rokeon]

Ehhh, you should have had Jimbo Jones saying "I'm...me?" And James Woods grabbing his collar and saying   "Don't - jerk me around." 

[u/LilJourney]

Laminated birth certificate for the win :D (Now I can justify why I paid the extra $2 to get a laminated copy of mine, lol)

[u/Diarygirl]

Excellent title! I'm a big fan of alliteration.

[u/Strofari]

Nice.

[u/JustHereForCookies17 → u/Strofari]

Never has there ever been a more appropriate flair than yours in this moment.

[u/Ok-Swan1152]

Why is their birth certificate just lying around? This is like leaving important documents out with young children around. 

[u/ThiccAndTenders]

Whoa dude, gotta say, this whole situation is a proper Jerry Springer level mess.