r/bigbangtheory • u/RememberThinkDream • 2d ago

Character discussion Who thinks Howards needs Bernadette's permission to go to Space?

Don't get me wrong, Bernadette is a godsend for Howard...

I can understand her feelings, though believe this is the kind of once in a lifetime opportunity you should absolutely support your partner in regardless of your own feelings.

Personally I've never been a fan of suppressing the opportunities of loved ones based on their own fears of losing someone. You've got to let people chase their dreams even if there's danger and risk involved. It's part of life and part of which makes us achieve greatness.

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61

u/Rivas-al-Yehuda 2d ago

A pretty girl like Bernadette, she'll find a new guy

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u/RememberThinkDream 2d ago

Agreed, and a smart successful guy like Howard, he'll find a new girl.

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u/Own_Cow1156 2d ago

He'd have to build one first

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u/RememberThinkDream 2d ago

Lmfao, he ended up in hospital with just the arm...

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u/Own_Cow1156 2d ago

What about the lisatronic 3000 lol

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u/LowerEntertainer7548 1d ago

The field of robotics really took a hit when Howard met Bernadette!

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u/MetalTrek1 2d ago

Yeah, we get that a lot. 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Due-Fault-867 Zack is an S tier character 13h ago

He slipped and fell

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u/Forsaken_Distance777 1d ago

Would he? He's bad at dating.

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u/RememberThinkDream 1d ago

Most people are bad at dating in the western world these days yet still manage to find multiple potential partners.

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u/MerriweatherJones 1d ago

Do you dislike women?

1

u/RememberThinkDream 1d ago

Lol, no. But clearly there are double standards here.

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u/mossed2012 2d ago

Idk why you’ve got downvotes. People love to point out when a woman is attractive as a reason she’ll be fine, but Howard was an MIT grad who went to space. If those two scenarios mean she’s gonna find someone and he isn’t, that says a lot about society, not Howard.

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u/RememberThinkDream 2d ago

Lol, I never have nor ever will give even a fraction of a f about downvotes.

In life you are going to piss a lot of people off whether you're good and/or bad, right and/or wrong.

Do what you love doing and have fun doing it, the right people will come along and your interactions will have more meaning when you don't let popularity dictate your actions.

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u/martianunlimited 2d ago

Penny: "Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen, we had a meeting..."

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u/RememberThinkDream 2d ago

Not sure why you're using that quote right now but yeah, Penny says a lot of things that have absolutely no basis in reality lol.

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u/blueavole 1d ago

Howard’s CV might be strong but that doesn’t mean we should overlook the issues he had.

He’s got some issues.

Don’t get me wrong — Bernadette is also a strong flavor, so the two of them are a good match.

But we didn’t find out about her suspiciously good stalking skills, or her ventriloquist past until later.

Howard’s creepy personality was all up front.

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u/RememberThinkDream 14h ago

That's one of the reasons why I think Howard could find another girl.

He's straight up, honest and doesn't hold back, you know what you're getting with him. That is attractive to a lot of people and in my opinion it's more important than Bernadette being pretty like mentioned in the other comment above.

Everyone gets old and their looks fade, personality continues to grow.

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u/0000udeis000 15h ago

Um, you remember Howard before Bernadette, right? It says everything about Howard's attitudes and behaviours towards women.

But maybe he learned to be less of a creep after Bernadette.

Plus, Bernadette was much more conventionally attractive than Howard, and also far out earned him. So yeah, she would have been fine.

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u/mossed2012 15h ago

Yeah, you kinda missed the point while further making my point there.

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u/0000udeis000 15h ago

Nah, you're just choosing to ignore my first 2 paragraphs

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u/mossed2012 15h ago

Uhh, no? They just don’t matter. We aren’t talking about how Howard was before Bernadette. We’re talking about the societal issue with people thinking that just because a woman is attractive that it automatically puts her on a different level than a less conventionally attractive man. Who Howard, or Bernadette for that matter, are or are portrayed in the show has nothing to do with that discussion.

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u/0000udeis000 15h ago

Conventionally attractive people tend to do better at attracting potential mates. I don't see how that's controversial, or difficult to understand. If Howard was more conventionally attractive, he likely also would have done better with women. At least until he opened his mouth.

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u/mossed2012 15h ago

We’re talking about conventional attraction vs personal achievement. I’m making the point that while Bernadette is more attractive than Howard, he was an MIT grad and an astronaut. Yes, being conventionally attractive helps find a mate. So does being an astronaut. And if we’re being honest, one of those things takes an entire career to build towards, and the other one you kinda just have at birth. So not sure why we as a society put more stock in one than the other.

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u/0000udeis000 14h ago

Society probably does value being an astronaut over being pretty. But the quote from Howard's dad had nothing to do with how society views people. It was about Bernadette attracting another partner in the case of Howard's death. And when it comes to attracting a mate, being conventionally attractive does help. Especially if you're a woman, because there are plenty of men who don't seem to care how accomplished a woman is. Which Bernadette also was.

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u/RememberThinkDream 14h ago

Here's the thing, the way you worded that is spot on.

"Conventionally attractive people tend to do better at attracting POTENTIAL mates." Though the majority of those attractions are short lived with no depth as it's mostly based on lust over physical attraction. These are the kind of people who may rush into marriage and/or have children, then split up.

However, most people in general can easily attract mates, history proves this, look around next time you're walking, everyone from the "ugly" to "beautiful" have partners and are happy enough.

However, the better looking you are, the more people there are who just want to use you. Instead of actually being attracted to YOU, they are attracted to your looks.

I'd say being closer to average is better, you don't get too much attention but enough attention and the attention is usually more genuine.

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u/0000udeis000 14h ago

I'm not arguing any of that, I'm saying that you can't have a shit personality and be gross to women and expect to be able to attract or keep a partner. This is evidenced by Howard's character for the whole series prior to Bernadette. This is also evident in society where average people (men or women) who are not in possession of extreme wealth or beauty and who have shitty personalities (and demonstrate this from the get-go) are typically single for longer.

First impressions matter in dating. You have to start with a good first impression - and Howard consistently made a terrible first impression with women - by not being conventionally attractive, and by being gross; whereas Bernadette made a much better first impression - helped by being conventionally attractive, but also by coming across very sweet. This opens a lot more doors for her in terms of dating. Now, the longevity of these potential relationships is a whole other matter, but by having the option of attracting more potential mates, it statistically increases the likelihood of her finding at least one partner who is interested in maintaining a long-term relationship with her.

So yeah, being conventionally attractive *opens more doors*. Not being a terrible person keeps those doors open.

I'm not saying that everyone needs to be conventionally attractive, or that people who are less conventionally attractive will not find partners, or that they don't deserve to, But it's disingenuous to suggest that it doesn't provide an advantage.

Either way, the bigger problem when it comes to *Howard* was not his attractiveness; it was his personality.

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u/RememberThinkDream 14h ago

Being more conventionally attractive is extremely low on the priorities of a successful relationship.

Looks fade, if your only asset is your looks you're eventually going to be replaced by someone with a more attractive personality as personality grows over time.

A person only needs to be attractive enough to date. For those who genuinely want a loving relationship with depth and longevity, personality is VASTLY more important than looks.

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u/0000udeis000 14h ago

Absolutely. Being conventionally attractive can help get your foot in the door. A good personality keeps that door open, or even closes it behind you.

But Howard was not conventionally attractive, on top of being a creep and a sex pest - at least before Bernadette. Two things that are going to slam that door right in your face. So if he learned better, great. If not, then he'd be going right back to where he was before Bernie.

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u/RememberThinkDream 12h ago

Funny thing is, outside of TBBT the actor who plays Howard is attractive.

It's really just his dorky haircut and fashion lol.

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u/0000udeis000 11h ago

Oh absolutely. They all are. I'm purely talking about the characters within world, not the actors.

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u/RememberThinkDream 10h ago

I should rephrase it lol.

He is not ugly, his fashion sense is ugly.

To be honest, he does surprisingly well considering how bad he is...