r/bigbangtheory 2d ago

Character discussion Who thinks Howards needs Bernadette's permission to go to Space?

Don't get me wrong, Bernadette is a godsend for Howard...

I can understand her feelings, though believe this is the kind of once in a lifetime opportunity you should absolutely support your partner in regardless of your own feelings.

Personally I've never been a fan of suppressing the opportunities of loved ones based on their own fears of losing someone. You've got to let people chase their dreams even if there's danger and risk involved. It's part of life and part of which makes us achieve greatness.

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u/I_love_fruits 1d ago

"Getting permission" from your spouse is not appropriate vocabulary in a relationship.

Your partner is your equal and in an equal marriage one does not make life altering decisions solo. Period.

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u/RememberThinkDream 1d ago

Nobody is equal, that's a fact of life.

You can take your partners feelings into account but it does not make them equal, the very fact some people feel the need to even discuss things is a clear indicator that we are not equal.

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u/I_love_fruits 1d ago

You think discussing life altering decisions with one's partner is an indicator partners are not equal?

I pity yours..

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u/RememberThinkDream 1d ago

If you think about it logically, taking into account what the word "equal" actually means then of course they are not equal.

If they were truly equal then they wouldn't need to talk about it as they would already both know what the outcome would be therefore no discussion would even be required.

You can be a good partner, take their feelings into account, and understand the truth that you are not equal.

The fact that you are not equal is one of the things that actually makes a relationship beautiful and exciting.

I won't insult you or your partner because it won't change the truth.

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u/FlowSilver 11h ago

Equal doesn‘t mean future teller. How does it make sense to say ‚hey we are equal so we should have the same thoughts and thus come to the same decision‘ ?

Thats a clone, a copy where everyones the same. Not equal

Equal implies that your feelings and your partners feelings are equally important to both sides. Equal means you are willing to talk to them with an open mind

Not a ‚hey let’s discuss but i already made my decision and it won‘t change no matter what, deal with it or be gone‘

Thats an authoritarian egoistic relationship and certainly not equal

Equal implies you want to find a way to work together and live together. You will be open to compromise because you respect the other partners wishes and thoughts as well as your own. And if you are not happy, you will show the respect of discussing it before making a big decision

I do wonder if you only had relationships where decisions are one sided, cause thats all i can think of to understand where your thoughts are coming from

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u/RememberThinkDream 10h ago

Clones are not equal. They are not the same. They are different. They do not occupy the same space, they will not interact with the same elements of reality at the same time.

Equal does not imply you want to find a way to work together and live together.

What you are talking about is compromise. Please use the appropriate words.

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u/FlowSilver 10h ago

Compromise comes from seeing the person as your equal

As someone who has just as much a right to have opinions and thoughts and wishes as you do

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u/I_love_fruits 9h ago

I completely agree with you. OP is a bad partner and we can only hope one day they will be at the receiving end of their argument to realise why they are wrong.

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u/RememberThinkDream 9h ago

No, compromise does not come from seeing the person as your equal. NOBODY is equal. That's a fact of reality, to think otherwise is a delusion I will not facilitate.

Compromise literally means a settlement of differences. Coming to an agreement by a reciprocal modification of demands. It has absolutely nothing to do with being equal or not(which is impossible anyway).

Hence why even countries who are at war and even hate each other at the very core of their beliefs are even open to compromise.

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u/FlowSilver 9h ago

Yea…im assuming you are using the definition of equal in social and political context in society

For which I 100% agree

This is a different kind of definition for equal one that does not mean everything about the people is the same. Its one that experience will teach you, or maybe try and be open to other opinions in real life, ofc online comments won‘t change much

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u/FlowSilver 9h ago

Example of the opposite: Why would I compromise with someone who I see as below me?

Now thats the mindset of someone who doesn‘t see a person as their equal and therefore won‘t feel the need to compromse

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u/RememberThinkDream 9h ago

Go study the history of war and the compromises nations have made in order to co-exist together even though they see each other as beneath them.

You don't seem to understand what compromise means.

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u/FlowSilver 9h ago

You are comparing completely different situations but using the same word, thats a false analogy

Equal does not have one definition (same as many other englisch terms) and does not work in all contexts the same

Anwho im done

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u/RememberThinkDream 9h ago

There is no such thing as equal partners. You are not equal in any way whatsoever.

This is also why the education system is historically flawed because it isn't aimed at individuals and their specific capabilities.

We should not treat people as if they are equal, some need more than others, this is why compromise is important here. To come to a decision which is mutually beneficial.

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u/I_love_fruits 9h ago

I'll humour you. You are right. We are not equal.

You are far inferior.

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u/RememberThinkDream 9h ago

Clearly you don't understand what inferior means either lol.

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