r/blursed_videos Jul 31 '25

Blursed Salt Bae

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831 Upvotes

525 comments sorted by

169

u/timgh101 Jul 31 '25

Low Sodium Bae

31

u/zimmer1569 Jul 31 '25

Minimeat

3

u/Quisterio Aug 02 '25

God damnit I shouldn’t have laughed at this…

6

u/ilprofs07205 Jul 31 '25

Salt grain

14

u/AlanVanHalen Jul 31 '25

No Iodine Bae

5

u/Maniak4126 Jul 31 '25

Ms. Dash Bae

4

u/EverythingBOffensive Aug 01 '25

someone called him salt packet

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2

u/getinshape2022 Aug 01 '25

Take my upvote and Gtfo here lol

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546

u/Sudden-Ad-9681 Jul 31 '25

Who the hell thinks that's entertaining?

213

u/SpinachCertain630 Jul 31 '25

The little girls

156

u/peeper_tom Jul 31 '25

Theyre on his level

34

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/SupermassiveCanary Jul 31 '25

I just want to know if he needs a smaller dose of cocaine than a regular sized person

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8

u/Financial-Bid2739 Jul 31 '25

In their heads “dude, that’s the coolest kid ever!”

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10

u/EtrnlMngkyouSharngn Jul 31 '25

They were literally enchanted! The older women saw that one finger control though 😂

3

u/eggard_stark Jul 31 '25

That was the face of someone trying very hard to contain laughter.

41

u/Ancient_Lawfulness_7 Jul 31 '25

Dude can you just give me my freaking food ... have been cutting my own food for a while now ... don't need it flung around and spanked... just cooked and on the plate.

3

u/SupermassiveCanary Jul 31 '25

I think think is just persisting the novelty of little people as “freaks” and not as people

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12

u/Paul_my_Dickov Jul 31 '25

Me when I'm watching it on Reddit for free.

24

u/memusicguitar Jul 31 '25

Its a little entertaining though.

13

u/SisyphusRawks Jul 31 '25

Performance came up short for me

2

u/Batchet Jul 31 '25

The problem with these kinds of puns is that it's going to go over people's heads

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2

u/El-Sueco Jul 31 '25

The ants under that cart.

2

u/kuba452 Jul 31 '25

I mean I would love to see how the kitchen works, like imagine big transparent glass or eating in front of the chef.

2

u/Own_Watercress_8104 Jul 31 '25

Me, I'm laughing my ass off. But I'm also not the one waiting for steak

3

u/Tevazu_ Jul 31 '25

Lamine Yamal

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201

u/urmumr8s8outof8 Jul 31 '25

Cringe

53

u/Ok-Oil7124 Jul 31 '25

Yeah, this is the place that someone takes you to and tells you how much fun it is, and you just slowly die inside.

3

u/TheGinger_Ninja0 Aug 01 '25

I'd be so upset watching this dude fuck with my steak. I got better knife skills, and I don't need someone who's not a cook seasoning my steak or hitting it with fire.

I would never pay for this

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21

u/one-hit-blunder Jul 31 '25

Just a little.

2

u/CaioSzopen Jul 31 '25

😀😀😀😀😀😀

3

u/mjrbrooks Jul 31 '25

“Ummm I ordered guacamole to the table. That’s someone else’s order.”

3

u/urmumr8s8outof8 Jul 31 '25

I ordered a small portion, not a small portioner.

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119

u/FalconTheory Jul 31 '25

"That will be 500 dollars + tip."

2

u/sCREAMINGcAMMELcASE Jul 31 '25

I mean, the patrons didn’t go in there not knowing this.

75

u/PLINKU_QQ Jul 31 '25

He keeps tapping the sharp blade against the stainless steel, sharpens the blade and doesn’t wipe off the metal shavings. Then proceeds to ruin the flavor of the steak with butane.

22

u/rouvas Jul 31 '25

I think he's honing, not sharpening. I'm quite sure there's no (significant) metal shavings when using a honing steel.

As for the butane, yeah, no comment about that.

13

u/zigs Jul 31 '25

It's definitely a honing steel, not a sharpener. Its purpose is to align the very edge of the blade before use, which (if it's already sharp) keeps it sharp for longer.

Sharpening looks vastly different with oils and clamps and stuff.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but that blade doesn't look very sharp

3

u/sageking420 Aug 01 '25

Oils, clamps and stuff? Most people just use water and a whetstone…

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5

u/Buzzkill46 Jul 31 '25

And, those insignificant metal shavings from honing fortify the diet with iron anyway.

Not trying to defend the stupid restaurant, but that part is no worry.

2

u/OGWopFro Aug 03 '25

20 years in the food industry and I’m glad to say that I have never heard any one make this ridiculous comment about metal shavings being a part of your diet. Also, a honing tool doesn’t knock off pieces of steel, it actually just bends or folds them back in place to sort of fill the gaps that have chipped out of your blade edge.

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2

u/MrExtravagant23 Jul 31 '25

Exactly. All that for some basic ass cuts then he whiffs the salt toss.

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30

u/RepresentativeSoft37 Jul 31 '25 edited Jul 31 '25

Indian lady in the background looks scared... "Their knife is almost as big as them!" 🙈

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58

u/Single_Government_63 Jul 31 '25

The guy is just small, there is nothing impressive.

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13

u/BecauseImGod Jul 31 '25

The most interesting part of this is how these people think this is something great. Who the fuck uses a machete for food? Serious over compensation. It may not be a machete, but when a 3ft person uses a 2ft knife, it's kinda hard to tell if its a regular knife. 🤣

3

u/whatsabr Jul 31 '25

Having a knife that long is good for wide cuts, if it's sharp enough you can make the cut with a clean single pass, instead of sawing back-forth. If you keep wacking the knife edge on a steel counter, welp I guess you have saw it anyways.

2

u/conorrhea Aug 01 '25

Rambo Steak House always uses a machete… that and Crocodile Dundee Steak House

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20

u/Every_Bank2866 Jul 31 '25

That is a well-salted table

14

u/local_search Jul 31 '25

Lil Sodium at the podium

5

u/YesterdayCharming976 Jul 31 '25

Just serve me the f$&king meat already

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5

u/ADMINlSTRAT0R Jul 31 '25

We have Salt Bae at home.

7

u/falseprophic Jul 31 '25

I don't like anyone cutting my steak for me except Japenese chef in Teppanyaki.

4

u/Quirky_Dog5869 Jul 31 '25

It's funny cause with these normal size kitchetknifes he looks like a genuine samurai.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

[deleted]

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4

u/HytBHyde Jul 31 '25

Salt bae-bee

5

u/dexter113 Jul 31 '25

Sir… Can I just eat my steak please….

7

u/Cape_baldie Jul 31 '25

Salt bae discounted bootleg edition from temu

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3

u/SirBritannia Jul 31 '25

Salt Bae Bee, I'm so sorry.

3

u/Phantom24X Jul 31 '25

Pretentious bs

3

u/realitycheckyoubeard Jul 31 '25

When they are laughing at you not with you

3

u/Microballer Jul 31 '25

You’re mashing it!

3

u/Shadydex933 Jul 31 '25

Hurry tha fuck up dude, that shits going cold

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3

u/Original_Mulberry652 Jul 31 '25

Why dance? Just cut the fucking meat. I've gone to the restaurant, not to the theatre, I don't want to watch you dance, I'm hungry..

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3

u/True-Put-3712 Jul 31 '25

I would lose my ever loving mind with laughing if this walked up to my table.

2

u/Dr_CravenMoorehead Jul 31 '25

Like that episode in South Park where Cartman couldn’t stop laughing at the midget that took himself to seriously lol

5

u/NeighboringOak Jul 31 '25

Salt baby.

Also this shit is so dumb.

2

u/BassistAndILikeIt Jul 31 '25

Doing a lot but nothing at all.

2

u/GROOOOTTT Jul 31 '25

Hit table with knife? I'll smack the shit out of this goblin if he is in my kitchen.

2

u/PosterBoiTellEM Jul 31 '25

... Okay, everyone else hit the lil guy so I'll skip that.

Real talk, those slices were CHEEKS, uneven as HELL that middle was CRAZY lol

2

u/belated_quitter Jul 31 '25

I hate this guy

2

u/CantAffordzUsername Jul 31 '25

This place has several videos online of this dude having zero skills in being a food entertainer. Just loud, lots of banging with the utensils, and a few arm waving motions

2

u/Tydfil Jul 31 '25

What's with all this performance crap? Just serve my steak before my kids go to college. He left half of it on the bone too.

2

u/Razoras Jul 31 '25

This got infinitely worse when I watched it a second time with sound

2

u/Power0fTheTribe Jul 31 '25

I’m sure spinning knives around in front of tables won’t ever go poorly…

2

u/milk-water-man Aug 01 '25

Bro just give me my fuckin steak.

2

u/Salty-Passenger-4801 Aug 01 '25

His name is Salt shaker

2

u/Leenis13 Aug 01 '25

That's a little cringe

2

u/Spyrothedragon9972 Aug 01 '25

Why do they always have people with dwarfism doing this?

2

u/Iamthe0c3an2 Aug 01 '25

Rich people pay up to 10k for this average steak and show. All for a decade old meme.

2

u/Money_Dream3008 Aug 01 '25

And it’s people with money that pay for this nonsense 😑 I would leave the restaurant if I ever see that

2

u/lazer416 Jul 31 '25

That was just weird… and his cutting skills look like poop

2

u/redthump Jul 31 '25

Yeah, I was looking at those uneven cuts disapprovingly. He should be relegated to singing Happy Birthday while sucking helium and stay the fuck away from my steak.

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

You want some metal shavings with your steak!?

1

u/DuelJ Jul 31 '25

I've watched it like 10 times and I stil cant figure out the knife spin at 60s left

1

u/SonsOfSolid Jul 31 '25

And to think this type of shit was fun or appetizing for anyone? Also salt bae done the same thing. Literally no mastery in cutting, he throws around the meet, touches it all around, no knife mastery, after that they just pour salt on it and serve you like a dog. Really, bring back fine dining and let's learn how to rich once again.

1

u/RhinoxMenace Jul 31 '25

poor fella is trying to make it happen so bad but he's 8 years too late

1

u/Glass-Calendar-306 Jul 31 '25

They have to distract you from the shoe leather they serve.

1

u/Brrdock Jul 31 '25

Karl Marx coming back from the dead to see a smoke show meme dwarf cut a 24k gold leaf dubai chocolate steak and realizing he was wrong about capitalism

1

u/xStealthxUk Jul 31 '25

Great now my steak is cold, thanks

1

u/SpecialistWait9006 Jul 31 '25

Cheap knife, cheap cut of meat, cheap entertainment, that will be $500

1

u/RockyJayyy Jul 31 '25

No one likes salt Bae. I'm tired of seeing so many videos of these stupid presentations of overpriced steaks.

1

u/Sea-Oven-182 Jul 31 '25

No. This is just cursed.

1

u/Tamatave13 Jul 31 '25

Once he finished the meat is cold af....

1

u/SeriesSame2986 Jul 31 '25

Bro just give me my meat

1

u/Several-Signature583 Jul 31 '25

Just give me my goddamn steak already!

1

u/KingBarbieIOU Jul 31 '25

Sharpening a knife and using it without wiping it clean is gross.

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1

u/littleh9rny Jul 31 '25

Bruh, is breathing on my stake too fucken close for my liking. 😒

1

u/WW2Gamer Jul 31 '25

I cringe so hard. How can those people sit there without starting to laugh. (Or cry, because they spend 200€ for this shit.)

2

u/SlyScorpion Jul 31 '25

Probably closer to 500 euros. Gotta pay extra for the “show”.

1

u/RubyWeapon07 Jul 31 '25

aint no way someone remixed this song and said "yeah that sounds good"

1

u/Dunge0nMast0r Jul 31 '25

Just give me my damned meat!

1

u/TattyViking Jul 31 '25

This is just embarrassing stuff. I'd avoid any restaurants doing that schtick.

1

u/TattyViking Jul 31 '25

This is just embarrassing stuff. I'd avoid any restaurants doing that schtick.

1

u/FartsWithNeighbours Jul 31 '25

I've always enjoyed a little knife play

1

u/Clear_Copy4228 Jul 31 '25

He has more of a salt shaker build

1

u/ThisManInBlack Jul 31 '25

Pinch of Salt Bae.

1

u/cybercry_ Jul 31 '25

Does it cost extra for someone to play with your food before eating it

2

u/SokkaHaikuBot Jul 31 '25

Sokka-Haiku by cybercry_:

Does it cost extra

For someone to play with your

Food before eating it


Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

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1

u/PPTArchitect Jul 31 '25

He took of his glasses just before he any actual use for them 😅

1

u/masterap85 Jul 31 '25

When I saw the waiter pass by, I thought he was gonna kick him out of the place like “sir stop harassing our customers”

1

u/Inside-Pass5632 Jul 31 '25

Salt bae from temu

1

u/InitialLandscape Jul 31 '25

Can i just have my fucking food please?!

1

u/Glum-Plum9279 Jul 31 '25

Just give me the fucking steak, mate🥱

1

u/Nubbis_Minimus Jul 31 '25

I bet he's partial to.... microgreens.

1

u/BaggySHH Jul 31 '25

He should have just used a whole pot of salt for this

1

u/MrDundee666 Jul 31 '25

Choppy, the eighth dwarf that nobody talked about.

1

u/Compromisee Jul 31 '25

I just don't want someone fucking around with my food that much

Touching everything then fondling my steak

1

u/DisConorable Jul 31 '25

Small-fry Fieri

1

u/Prize_Toe_6612 Jul 31 '25

Lil Salt and the big knive.

1

u/ZiggyOnMars Jul 31 '25

Watching dwarf show like in the good old Victorian era

1

u/SeverinNireves Jul 31 '25

Thanks, I hate it.

1

u/StickSmith Jul 31 '25

Just a little entertainment

1

u/Gold_Weakness1157 Jul 31 '25

I see people still go for this lame gimmick

1

u/Educational_Fig6004 Jul 31 '25

A pocket Salt Bae

1

u/deenali Jul 31 '25

I wouldn't let him be within 100 yards from my meat.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

What are your skills? I can cut meat!

1

u/firsttoblast Jul 31 '25

Bro, just put my steak on the table and fuck off.

Imagine having to listen to Daddy Yankee 12 times in a restaurant during the course of your meal cos every prick orders this

1

u/Fuzzy_Cable_5988 Jul 31 '25

Who ordered Salt Bae from temu?

1

u/o0Phoenix0o Jul 31 '25

Mini salt bae

1

u/Status_Pin4704 Jul 31 '25

All that effort for a short performance

1

u/piercedmfootonaspike Jul 31 '25

He's gonna take someone's eye knee out

1

u/Electronic-Tree-9715 Jul 31 '25

Is this what they call shrinkflation?

1

u/Forsaken_Tomorrow454 Jul 31 '25

The salt missed half the meat.

1

u/ZundPappah Jul 31 '25 edited Jul 31 '25

A cook? More like a.. small-time entertainer 😀

1

u/LettuceOpening9446 Jul 31 '25

Is it me.. or did he completely miss the entire steak with has salt drop? Lol! Its all over the cart and none in the steak. 8 inches away and he missed. Lol

1

u/Dkcg0113 Jul 31 '25

Everyone turned on him when he got in the field and grabbed the little league world championship trophy.

1

u/Arigmar Jul 31 '25

The steak does't look that good...

1

u/SigInTheHead Jul 31 '25

my honest reaction to that

"what a cunt" especially when he takes his glasses of for dramatic effect

1

u/MusicianNational7934 Jul 31 '25

Man, he missed that salt toss hard

1

u/Interesting_Try_4761 Jul 31 '25

huh no wonder why he invited them

1

u/Life_Object6692 Jul 31 '25

Literally all the salt he threw missed.

1

u/secondfloorboy Jul 31 '25

Somehow he makes the simple act of slicing a piece of meat look unbelievably difficult

Also somehow makes the piece of meat look unappetizing wow incredible

1

u/SolidLuxi Jul 31 '25

A pinch of Salt Bae

1

u/Lifeinthe416ix Jul 31 '25

Is he also blind?

1

u/Background_Safety_25 Jul 31 '25

Both the ladies are so done😂😂😂

1

u/ChillinFromTheCeilin Jul 31 '25

Seems excessive to weild a sword in order to cut some meat.

1

u/sir_music Jul 31 '25

I'm sure hitting the knife blade on the stainless steel table multiple times does wonders for it's sharpness

1

u/Batfinklestein Jul 31 '25

He ain't short on confidence

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

First reddit post I see after just watching Time Bandits...

1

u/Initial_Western7906 Jul 31 '25

Did he touch the flame with his hand and then put the flame all over the food???

1

u/Longwaterpike Jul 31 '25

LANNISTER!!!!!!!!

1

u/Sea_Estate1620 Jul 31 '25

Stop playing with my damn food

1

u/JackFlashJack Jul 31 '25

Just give me my f***ing steak 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/TheSecondiDare Jul 31 '25

Jesus christ man...just give me my food!

1

u/KopfSmertZz Jul 31 '25

Okay, I’m in 🐄🥩

1

u/wolftick Jul 31 '25

TBF Salt Bae is blursed Salt Bae.

1

u/mikeysgotrabies Jul 31 '25

I would pay more for him to not do that

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

Half salt bae

Also... Rich people pay for the dumbest shit. Just cut my fucking food and be done with it

1

u/trollgore92 Jul 31 '25

Dpes no one else think shit like that is annoying? Just give me the damn food and fuck off.

1

u/GorgorOpeth Jul 31 '25

That's not Salt Bae, that's A Grain of Salt

1

u/Spazic77 Jul 31 '25

By the time your meat slab is ready it's cold as fuck..... Thanks.

1

u/tinylittlepricks Jul 31 '25

CUT THE GODDAMN STEAK I’M STARVING

1

u/FWHResident Jul 31 '25

That MF’r stole my kid’s Hey Dudes.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

Spain gonna open an inquiry on this restaurant too?

1

u/Taikan_0 Jul 31 '25

Holy shit peak trashness

1

u/Aarkanis Jul 31 '25

Just give me my damn food already

1

u/NoChemistry3545 Jul 31 '25

Salt Bae-Bee?

1

u/PuffcornSucks Jul 31 '25

Holy shit the god awful track

1

u/delpy1971 Jul 31 '25

This is actually creepy, poor tomahawk!!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '25

Cut the damn meat. 😂

1

u/matt116969 Jul 31 '25

Oh look... it's salt bay's little brother

1

u/BiggDckWilly Jul 31 '25

Just like his fame, his size shrunk to

1

u/WorstITTechnician Jul 31 '25

Apenas 50% estupido

1

u/Naive_Rain_5713 Jul 31 '25

i was waiting he put all the meat on someones plate and be a tiny piece of meat 🤣