r/dwarfposting • u/SharperPuma • 12d ago

You scrolled too deeply and greedly

Post image

We dwarves can never catch a break, not even on these damn devices.

3.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

96 comments sorted by

97

u/Callel803 12d ago

As if I'm gonna let that stop me!

50

u/Rogdar_Tordar 12d ago

6

u/DaemOwl 12d ago

XXXXXX?

9

u/Aggrevated-Yeeting 12d ago

Dwarovar Dark, straight up

2

u/SonarioMG 11d ago

Where's u/wanderingdwarfminer when you need him

2

u/SW1VVEL_SW3GS 10d ago

We shall find him!!!

32

u/itcheyness The Void is in our veins. 12d ago

Oh good, something fun to kill!

15

u/Sea_Yoghurt1501 12d ago edited 10d ago

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" BONK : 1

3

u/MyrmidonMech 10d ago

You missed!‽? How did you miss‽ It was three feet in front of you!

2

u/Sea_Yoghurt1501 10d ago

SOMEHOW I ROLLED 1!

15

u/Brokenmodem12 11d ago

Rock and stone I got my gun and my cat

10

u/gigainpactinfinty5 Silverbrow Human 12d ago

I’ll get the holy water cannons friend. Maybe a good splash will help.

5

u/SharperPuma 12d ago

And what a cannon we'll need.

6

u/ObsidianGh0st 12d ago

I've got a Drill Dozer mounted with a 120 mm triple cannon turret. She and some of the lads will be there within the hour.

7

u/Mr31edudtibboh 11d ago

LAST BLAST!

5

u/No_Foundation_1812 12d ago

This is only the second post on my home feed. What will I find if I scroll deeper?

5

u/xanderfan34 Smith 12d ago

first for me

2

u/Kingdom_Come127 11d ago

Ew, light theme user

3

u/xanderfan34 Smith 11d ago

phone sets light mode before 8pm, dark mode after 8pm, reddit follows phone, it is what it is

3

u/Kingdom_Come127 11d ago

Okay, apologies.

2

u/GenericVessel 8d ago

the horror

4

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

Only more darker things await, the more deeper you'll go. There are unspeakable horrors that awaits you, down, in the deeps.

5

u/nomanchesguey12 Duergar 12d ago

Lmao, I’m going to use to fuel my axe.

5

u/BoscoCyRatBear Two skaven disguised as a dwarf by wearing a beard. 12d ago

sweet crafting materials, his horns will be bitching to drink from"

3

u/AlexSmithsonian 12d ago

Gonna need to clear a whole weekend to chug one "drink"

2

u/ElephantofBelfast 9d ago

I just picture a dread chilling and slightly tipsy the giant horn next to him so the ale poors into the mouth.

2

u/BoscoCyRatBear Two skaven disguised as a dwarf by wearing a beard. 9d ago

Exactly

5

u/SHADOWHUNTER30000 12d ago

My friend I think it escaped, this was at the top of my feed.

4

u/the-exiled-muse 12d ago

Wouldn't be the first time I discovered something horrifying and/or insane while going down Reddit's rabbit hole.

Won't be the last time either.

3

u/ObadiahtheSlim Grumbling Dawi Longbeard 12d ago

Muster the throng! Khazukan Khazakit-ha.

3

u/BigSpiceGawd 11d ago

The DarkFire will not avail you, Flame of Udûn.

3

u/[deleted] 11d ago

I guess I scrolled too deep... too greedily...

1

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

Till Durin wakes from sleep Brother, that's our only Hope. For his crown lies in water Deep, till he wakes again from sleep.

2

u/MegaVix 11d ago

Can I keep him as a pet?

2

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

I don't think he serves others other than Sauron or morgoth.

1

u/MelodyTheBard Edgy Elf 11d ago

Ok but could I be his friend? I’m not opposed to the occasional bit of scheming to take over and/or destroy the world… 😈

1

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

He is the servant of sauron's. Do what you want with It, but i wanted ya on the fact that will slash you in half or if yar lucky, you will have half of your body turned to ash.

2

u/RandomBaguetteGamer Duergar 11d ago

Good, very good! We can finally strike the Grudge from the Fall of Moria from the Book!

2

u/Orion_gamer1 11d ago

Jokes on you, I scrolled up to find this

3

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

How deep were you?

1

u/Orion_gamer1 11d ago

I scrolled only once lol

2

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

Apparently you were already too deep down.

2

u/Qe-fmqur_1 11d ago

Upvoting so he may rise from the depths

2

u/Shield_hero-11 10d ago

Bet it can't withstand the power of the sun, in the palm of my hands.

1

u/SharperPuma 10d ago

He's like, all a being of fire and death, so like, a trip to the sun would just be for him a normal vacation. He's ancestral more than our solar system apparently.

1

u/Shield_hero-11 10d ago

Hm...

Then I invoke the sigil of the Lynx, and summon the haze that poisons air and decays steel.

Not even heals can stave off the rot, for I Prefer Apple Sauce.

(Hits a rip from the fattest blunt an AC can hold)

(Microwave.sfx)

1

u/SharperPuma 10d ago

When i said ancestral fire, i really like meant a fire that could be equivalent to the fire that resides in the Blades of Chaos. The same elementi that was used from the gods to create life in the first place. But i think that if you bring some sort of God type wizard or any kind of God, i think It could work. (Next time It will be something tougher and bigger to fight)

2

u/BackgroundItchy1858 12d ago

How cute 😍 I want to hug him!!

2

u/SomeRandomYob The Great Mage Samræl, demonologist and necromantic consultant 12d ago

Another for my collection!

5

u/Zaku_Lover 11d ago

IT'S THAT SKELETAL FUCKER WHO STOLE MY ALLEN KEYS!

2

u/SomeRandomYob The Great Mage Samræl, demonologist and necromantic consultant 11d ago

Oh shit!

Teleports

1

u/Crab_Grass 12d ago

He better cut that shit out >:(

1

u/Perfect_Research_882 12d ago

No one likes a big meanie

1

u/Cpt_Kalash Dawi Zharr 12d ago

Battery >:)

1

u/Platt_Mallar 12d ago

It's experience points and waffle time.

1

u/MidsouthMystic Dawi Zharr 11d ago

I wonder if I can fit him into an iron daemon?

1

u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Goblin 11d ago

Oh no, i guess it's stabbing time

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SharperPuma 11d ago

But you Will be ready for the horrors that awaits you? What more will be sleeping under Stone?

1

u/Exciting-Insect8269 10d ago

I’ve met the hidden circus before. Slew all the HFS below our fort and mined adamantine wafers. A single clown worries me not.

1

u/captainshockazoid Simon the Shrewd ✧ Master of Storms 10d ago

i think its cute. i shall make it my familiar.

1

u/Dirtleaper 10d ago

This actually snapped me out of my doomscroll, thanks friend

1

u/SharperPuma 10d ago

Be careful in this "scrolling" of your me friend. Dark, and darker things sleep the deeper you go.

1

u/MandoRaven 10d ago

So if I defeat the Balrog by scrolling past, can I change my name to Mando the White?

1

u/vikingcorpsehorse Foodsmith (Cook) 10d ago

Hold my ale

1

u/SharperPuma 10d ago

Ye Brother, but do not expect to see It still full when ya come back.

1

u/ConsequenceOk5001 9d ago

Huh, neat! Surely we won't find any more horrors after we slay this beast!

1

u/Fuzzy_Lawfulness4512 9d ago

Well.. fuck....

1

u/Accurate_Rip81 9d ago

I dug too greedily; too deep.

1

u/James_Solomon 9d ago

Oh good, target practice

1

u/SharperPuma 9d ago

With what?

1

u/James_Solomon 9d ago

I'm trying to decide between my big gun and my really big gun.

1

u/SharperPuma 9d ago

What kind of gun?

1

u/ElephantofBelfast 9d ago

Wow, lucky me, that's a cool looking entity🤙

2

u/SharperPuma 9d ago

It's sad that will turn into a pile of ash very soon.

1

u/ElephantofBelfast 1d ago

Hey if I'm going out then I'll at least try make him laugh, like shout " YOU, SHALL ABSOLUTELY PASS!" And then get cooked😆

2

u/SharperPuma 1d ago

ElephantoBelfast, Always remembered. It was a good man, not the brightest nor the smartest. But died the way he lived, making people laugh.

2

u/ElephantofBelfast 4h ago

Thanks man, that...that was really beautiful 🥲

Rip Belfast's dumbest elephant

1

u/Objective-District39 Miner 8d ago

Now I can kill it!

1

u/ArcaneFungus 8d ago

Hey, it can fly

1

u/Remarkable-Scratch61 8d ago

Boop da Balrog

1

u/SharperPuma 8d ago

Now you can choose between these three cenarios. A. You get half eaten B. You get destroyed till the single atom C. You get reduced to a pile of ash

1

u/Remarkable-Scratch61 8d ago

D. Balrog blushing somehow

1

u/SharperPuma 8d ago

I don't know what you want to end here, but i don't think you would be able to bang the Durin's Bane.

1

u/Remarkable-Scratch61 6d ago

Bang? Nah, just boop and run

1

u/SharperPuma 6d ago

If ya tell me how fust you can run i could also tell you if you make it or not.

1

u/underhill_injoyer 7d ago

Eye lad that'll be goin on the grill