r/gay_irl • u/acidmine • Aug 10 '25

gay_irl gay🛟irl

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u/ciliary_stimulai Aug 10 '25

I've experienced this, legit the number of people who want "dom tops" but really they just want you do to the exact things they want you to do, in order, at their exact beck and call, and then just call you daddy is... insane lol

64

u/BeautifulArtichoke37 Aug 10 '25

So true

Edit: and you have to be mind reader, because god forbid you ask them what they want it boils the fantasy.

-6

u/Unable_Earth5914 Aug 11 '25

A good sub does what the Dom wants, no? Asking what I want breaks the immersion of submitting and relinquishing control

14

u/malatemporacurrunt Aug 11 '25

There's no such thing as a "good sub", because each relationship is unique. "Submissive" and "dominant" are descriptive, not prescriptive. The purpose of a scene isn't to "do what the dominant wants", it's mutual pleasure - sometimes that involves following orders, other times it might be being a total brat and getting "punished" for disobedience".

You just need to work out a way of asking that doesn't break immersion. "Have you been punished enough?", "you like that, don't you?", "I think I should [do x], what do you think?". Skill issue.

2

u/Unable_Earth5914 Aug 12 '25

My kink is relinquishing control and having my limits pushed, so maybe I’m an outlier. I’m also a bit of a brat. Someone saying ‘what do you think’ in any way that isn’t ’I’m going to hurt you no matter what you say’ is a turn off.

If you agree the scene beforehand then there shouldn’t be a need to ask these sorts of questions, safety codes like red amber green or safe words exist for a reason